I dont know know... i feel that she is just not the ideal girl for me because she already 28 and so im always having this feeling of stingyness, yet i dont really get to know much girls in kl as well. Also we arent really official together, god knows what she wants when we together. My hope is just for her to not be a princess and im hoping we can share equal responsibilities when we r together... Do you think she might just want to be with me because of my steady financial background? ps shes not really that well off and lives in a low cost apartment housing with her parents

This post has been edited by JimmyGainz: Feb 21 2019, 11:46 AM

why you so judgemental one towards her? So what is she lives in a low cost apartment? No wonder you don't often get to know any girls in KL. Do you think younger girls than you like 18 or 20 would be much better?

TS... i know a lady...while she can afford to live in a luxurious house... she prefer to live in a low cost apartment. Because to her, as long as the house is good she need not to spend so much.

Lagi worse kan, how to share costs with a partner who drives an A5 at that age?

go out to bar drink and then tell her u like her

You got some issues here... but hey everyone got their own issues, i have mine too.

Ok lets get to the talk. I recently just got out of a relationship like yours too.

Trust me, if she is the one, and she is serious about you, she will show you to the world, post pictures of you and her, or just announcing the existence of you.

If she doesnt do that, you know you are just a pit stop and she just want to test drive.

If she loves you, age doesnt matter even if she is at the marriage stage. She will does everything with you to make sure you two get married.

What you can do here my compadre, just dont take this serious if you are sure she isnt by discussing this topic with her. If you are sure she aint gonna marry you, just treat her as an experience.

YES i understand how you feel that you afraid to be alone after losing her because I am going through it myself now.

BUT nothing hurts more than finding out the truth of her breaking up with you because of another guy.

So please sing this song with me, or at least read the lyrics :

You better cut that girl loose
What are you, a coward?
Who are you helping?
You got the power
Then do what you said you can
And do it for her
You better cut that girl loose, ah
Set it free
Let it be
Leave it be
Oh yes

What other guy? From what TS is telling so far, sounds like she's just leading a free life committed to no one. And there's no break-up if there wasn't a relationship to begin with. TS didn't even have the guts to have a heart-to-heart talk about their relationship status, which he really should, so he can get a direct answer from her and decide where to go from there.

Wanna hear from another woman's perspective?
Firstly, I do not agree with michlove's opinion of genders having that kind of expectation from each other. It's archaic and condescending to both genders. As you mentioned, the girl you're interested in is working with a decent salary. There is ZERO excuse for her to NOT take turns treating you. Even if she's making less than you or has financial commitments, she can still occasionally treat you to cheaper outings within her budget to express her appreciation for you, like movie tickets, or snacks, etc. Heck, even friends take turns covering for each other! Stop enabling the "princess" mind set. And to those girls who hold this to their heart like the gospel, please have some dignity for yourself. We can't demand mutual respect from men if we can't even give back equal treatment. Just stop with the double standards.

Secondly, your main issue here is you didn't even talk to her thoroughly about the nature of your friendship/relationship with her! I find it hilarious that you seem to have more priority in having ONZ with her than actually addressing the issue of your ambiguous relationship with her.

Where are your priorities, boy? Stop wasting your time. Go have a heart-to-heart talk to her and find out if she really wants a committed relationship with you. And if your excuse is that you're just afraid of the answer and end up alone, then you already have BIGGER issues: Your self-esteem needs a lot of work. Hopefully that's not the case.

After dating so many girls in my younger days, my conclusion is that girls who don't offer to pay after the 3rd date is not worth as a long term gf.

It shows lack of courtesy to the other person.

You're not stingy. Quite the opposite.. you're a door mat or atm machine. Take your pick.

If you want to have fun with her then by all means go ahead.
But if you are looking for a proper relationship then she is definitely not one you would be happy with.

Try this.. next time you date her ask her to pay for something. Do that for a few times (maybe once is suffice) and she will most likely not be free to date you anymore. Trust me.. this is a great filter for relationship material.

...that is why i mentioned in my first sentence back to my original post... "you have issues". You get it ? I aint even sure if they are already official because TS makes it sound like a NO or simply one sided. And whether true or not, TS is going to feel hurt sooner or later when TS finds out about the women finally going official with another dude. Trust me, it is going to happen sooner or later due to her condition TS described.

Unless of course, TS man-up with balls and communicate with the women for real and come clear about their relationship.

This post has been edited by exdtan: Feb 22 2019, 10:10 AM

Kudos... man you sound like an experienced one

I just want to make this clear;I've only met her for less than a month, and its only recently that I've started growing close to her so i would need to get to know her more before i want to commit in a relationship and ask her about dating and that. Yes i agree with you, michlove is also probably one of the typical kl girls with princess mentality. I'm trying to put out the fact that a girl needs to show some appreciation and courtesy back by offering to pay back for dinner, drinks, not everytime la but you know once in awhile can really make a difference. At this point I'm not sure about my priorities. I feel that just her being my companion is good enough already. Someone who can go out for drinks with me, movies, shopping , etc...Also my Audi A5 does look so much better with a girl beside me hahah. I just felt really lonely in the last few months since i arrived in KL, and her coming into my life actually made me happy. Should i just go with the flow for abit more before deciding whether to pop the question?

Wait now i think of it, she does cough up the money. There was a time when me and her were drinking with a friend. We got stopped halfway in a roadblock and had to bribe a police officer to let me go... I dint have any cash with me and all the atm's were closed, so she just coughed up like a hundred bucks to cover me. She also paid for my ramli burger twice so thats not too bad i guess...

Just face the fact ur a typical kl princess. Why cant you just show some appreciation to ur flings by offering to pay? I'm not trying to ask you to pay everytime, just once will make a difference.Its just common courtesy and a show of appreciation to the guy. You lack all of this thats why you dont deserve a wholesome rich boy. the boys you dated are probably young 'lala zai'(fk boys) who probably drive a myvi and feeds on their parents money for you.

haha...why you butthurt? anyways, young boys like you don't show off here lah. so what you drive an audi. Very sure she just treat u like an ATM. Good luck....lol

you see there's a girl i dated recently insist on paying me back her portion after each outings

although I say just RM 20 is enough (token sum) while the rest i cover for her, she refused and handed the cash over, made me no choice but have to take

she seems doesn't want to owe me anything

Meet for less than a month and already she BJ and swallow you?

Hmm...

No la just want you to admit it urself that ur a princess that dont deserve a wholesome guy. I'm trying to point out that you shouldnt always leech on ur guy and sometimes offer to share certain responsibilties and help him out. I'm teaching you how to be a person, pointing to u what is common courtesy and show of appreciation. You need young guy to teach u such simple and basic manners meh? aiyooo They say most girls have more matured minds than guys yet kl girls like you dont understand such simple thing? As mentioned i just remeberred she did cough up money in certain situations.

Then consider yourself lucky lo.... I dont even have a chance to meet this kind of girls :/

TS gotta burn his purse, pocket & bank account.