Do you enjoy his companionship? Do you feel happy when he is around? Can you handle and accept the negative side of him?
If you feel that you enjoy that moment, looking forward with him and having around I don't think its a fling.

From my point of view based on your explanation it seems like you like him and enjoy your time with him, but the real yourself worried that you might not have real future together with him.

If I'm in your position I will have a good conversation with him and overcome his trauma experience, by letting him know better what kind of a person you are as a friend and also as a partner.
What is his reaction and response about it.

How long have you been with him, and have you meet his family before?

I knew her for around 1.5yr and dated for around 1yr

But she is not showing all, during that period. she used to be a very happy cheerful person.

I know the story about his trauma and some deep story in which, he just shares with me.
I never judge him as I believe past is past and it is unfair to blame him because of his past.

I met his parents when they come here and spend a good day with them, I also met his brother and sis in law when they fetch us at the airport.

I like it when he is around and we texting each more frequent than we texting others.

I just scared to move forward and for the time being, both of us not looking for marriage(not in 1-2 years time)

In that case you should enjoy the moment you have together and let the feeling grow stronger. Take it as opportunity to explore and get to know more about each other.
As long as you treat each other good and with respect I would say this is a good healthy relationship.

Hey, thanks..i guess after hearing it from you, i feel more relief as I do not dare to ask him directly. Maybe because he never fall in love before, so we just view this relationship like BFF

Yes, you should continue and let it grow. but you also need to make sure that you will be open and not closing opportunity to others who might put interest in you.
This to prevent you left broken heart should in case anything happen in the future, since you are not in n official relationship.

All the best

Thanks for the insight. He is currently getting a property in his hometown before getting one in Selangor area. I currently putting faith in him. At the same time I'm looking for a better job before marriage and stuff. I will talk to him about this. Thanks again!

that's my friend... is woman's world...

u would never win an argument with woman like that...


coz they defy logics...

After being in sales for 2 years and understanding how people behave

I kinda get what you mean ts. Figuring out what a girl's personality is through their body language and mind set. Then figuring out if this girl is worth pursuing

Not easy finding someone you're compatible with.

Woman think with their feelings. men don't understand them because men think with logic

That's why lor...

This post has been edited by WhyLifeIsUNFAIR9: Jun 3 2018, 06:20 PM

Married guys, what makes you have marriage in mind? My bf of 3 yrs almost to 4. Never had future in his mind. He growing up in a broken family. And so am I. And few days ago, i asked him if he would want to migrate out from Msia with me. He said no. I asked why cause his friends is here. You have no idea how much it hurts to heard that. He said his frends make him, him. Ouch..... And he doesn't believe in LDR too.....

extra info: he is 30, I'm 27. Currently pursuing my dream career. And he is a successful man in his career.

This post has been edited by Claudine: Jun 4 2018, 09:12 PM

if he does not give a chance to open discussion for possible solution, he might be a very selfish person

If both have different view towards future, there is actually no future for this relationship. Unless 1 have no plan, and the other lead a plan. If both have their own thinking.. as in 1 wanted to get married, and the other prefer to stay single. Then, no point to talk.. as making either 1 to give in won't make this relationship a sustainable 1.

Im not married but i can understand the situation, my ex too wanted to migrate out from here. and I said no. although the reason is not due to my friends. but migrating is such a big step to be taken that it's not easy to make. One of the reason me and my ex parted ways was because of this. And guess what after 3 freaking years she has yet to migrate to another country. And Im here happy where I am with a stable job, already have a home and Im a happy single person now.

So would I been happy if i followed my ex and migrated overses? would it be the right move? i dont know. But i would miss my current life here. u mentioned he is a successful man and u are pursing a dream career hence I dont see the reason to migrate right? My parents actually migrated when I was small and I stayed in another country for 11 years. All I can say was it was difficult for me there and more difficult for me here Difficult there cause I was different and could not fit in. I dont have childhood friends who i can meet up nor school friends now in Malaysia as all of them I made in another country. Hence I dont want my kids (if i do have) to not have to go through what I went through.

My advise don't get hurt la if your bf dont want to migrate, maybe its best for both of you both not to. see the cons too please.

He's not a risk taker.

And as you said, he's already successful why would he want to risk himself taking another path.

My always tell my sister that choose a man by how he treats his mum. And if you like how he treats his mumaery him. That advice worked pretty well.

If u wanna truly learn about a person, observe him/her in their most natural form.

I’m 30...I worked hard. I am where I wanna be.
Living tomorrow like yesterday is my ultimate success and why would I wrecked all that?

How long hv u known him? How would migrating equates better opportunity?

P.S. it’s best to find someone to grow together when both are most malleable. But once either has fixated on a path at certain age, that’s not that easy to give up. There is a reason why adults writes with pen. Adults can’t afford that many f*cked up.

This post has been edited by RUI: Jun 15 2018, 02:43 AM

Dont give up your dream job/life for a partner..

I learnt that the hard way

Mind share the story?

Sometimes, I try to talk about it. He seems disinterested.... Ah... I stop talking about it. I feel like I am cheap and desperate lol.

Yep, It takes two to tango. And forcing one and another will lead to nothing. Learned.