After I got cheated by my gf, I learned something too.
And yes TS, you're right.
We should always look at the way she treat her parents, the way she handles our conflict, etc.
And from this lesson, I learn not to love too much, dive too deep until I truly know her. I fall too hard, it is very hard for me to pick myself up.
And throughout this relationship, I have lost most of my friends. Plus I'm working overseas, there's only 1 friend that I can meet.
This has become a very difficult task for me to overcome this stage, to move on.
I force myself to stay positive everyday but whenever I sleep, whenever I wake up, the feeling kicks in and it hurts me. Not as bad as before but, it still hurts me.
So now, I go out, sit at coffee place, alone. Keep myself busy, focus on other things than stomping the ground asking God why?
She hurts me a lot. I caught her cheated for many times. I lost my man's dignity and pride. Because I let her felt like I can't live without her. That puts power into her mind, letting her to think that she can continue to fool me.
After many talk with my friends and family, I finally wake up. I learn to stop giving her power over me and take that away from her.
She needs me more than I need her. I take care of her family, take care of her mom, fetch her to hospitals for regular checkups, bring them travel and pay for all the expenses. I helped her with her business, set it up for her, fund her financially, grow her so much, until she achieved this small success. But she didn't realise that. Fine. Let her run the business herself then.
To guys out there, don't beg. I used to be weak, used to think that I can't live without her.
Trust me, a cheater is always a cheater. It's just like thief. Do thief feel remorse or regret after stealing things from you? No. So why you want to think that she will regret her actions and come back to you?
As my sister said: 一次不忠,百次不用.
She left you because she can't find the "feeling" that both of you used to have. Now she found it with someone else. So she left you, cheated on you, sleep with other guys.
Even she comes back, it's not because the "feeling" is back. There are some other "value" in you that they want. In my case, it's business that I'm helping her with.
So, don't let her think that she can manipulate your feeling just because she tells you that she still loves you.
Fuck that bitch! I'm moving on! I will be more successful without her.
Time for me to start looking for new friends, grow back my circles. Focus on my own thing, do my own business!
I think love is like trust. It's either you trust or you don't.
Because if it's not. Then u will hv scenario like you love girl A 25%, love girl B 50%, and love girl 75%. But if you are in relationship with girl A, that makes you the cheater. Period.
Another point I would like to make is....Examine this statement..."The trouble is, you think you have time.". And for you ex, she always knew she had one more time. You enabled her. Bad boys don't do that. What they do is quite the opposite. They do something like, "If you want me, you can have me. Now. Once I'm gone, I'm gone for good."
The last point is...I don't you have build something meaningful enough. Because if you do, you won't even let ur mum to cock it up for you.
Try put ur energy, focus onto something you want for the next 7-10 years. And I bet my ass u would shoot even Jesus if he dares stand in your way.
And you look back that time, you will realize people come and go. If there is anything worth keeping at all, that would be the good memories. The rest are pretty much disposable.