Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

Serious Advise for those who haven't or going to marry.

views
     
RUI
post Jun 15 2018, 02:42 AM

Enthusiast
*****
Junior Member
722 posts

Joined: Jan 2005
My always tell my sister that choose a man by how he treats his mum. And if you like how he treats his mumaery him. That advice worked pretty well.

If u wanna truly learn about a person, observe him/her in their most natural form.

QUOTE(Claudine @ Jun 4 2018, 09:10 PM)
Married guys, what makes you have marriage in mind? My bf  of 3 yrs almost to 4. Never had future in his mind.  He growing up in a broken family. And so am I. And few days ago, i asked him if he would want to migrate out from Msia with me. He said no. I asked why cause his friends is here. You have no idea how much it hurts to heard that. He said his frends make him, him. Ouch..... And he doesn't believe in LDR too.....

extra info: he is 30, I'm 27. Currently pursuing my dream career. And he is a successful man in his career.
*
I’m 30...I worked hard. I am where I wanna be.
Living tomorrow like yesterday is my ultimate success and why would I wrecked all that?

How long hv u known him? How would migrating equates better opportunity?

P.S. it’s best to find someone to grow together when both are most malleable. But once either has fixated on a path at certain age, that’s not that easy to give up. There is a reason why adults writes with pen. Adults can’t afford that many f*cked up.

This post has been edited by RUI: Jun 15 2018, 02:43 AM
RUI
post Nov 20 2018, 10:28 PM

Enthusiast
*****
Junior Member
722 posts

Joined: Jan 2005
QUOTE(tutuyao @ Nov 3 2018, 10:29 AM)
After I got cheated by my gf, I learned something too.

And yes TS, you're right.

We should always look at the way she treat her parents, the way she handles our conflict, etc.

And from this lesson, I learn not to love too much, dive too deep until I truly know her. I fall too hard, it is very hard for me to pick myself up.

And throughout this relationship, I have lost most of my friends. Plus I'm working overseas, there's only 1 friend that I can meet.

This has become a very difficult task for me to overcome this stage, to move on.

I force myself to stay positive everyday but whenever I sleep, whenever I wake up, the feeling kicks in and it hurts me. Not as bad as before but, it still hurts me.

So now, I go out, sit at coffee place, alone. Keep myself busy, focus on other things than stomping the ground asking God why?

She hurts me a lot. I caught her cheated for many times. I lost my man's dignity and pride. Because I let her felt like I can't live without her. That puts power into her mind, letting her to think that she can continue to fool me.

After many talk with my friends and family, I finally wake up. I learn to stop giving her power over me and take that away from her.

She needs me more than I need her. I take care of her family, take care of her mom, fetch her to hospitals for regular checkups, bring them travel and pay for all the expenses. I helped her with her business, set it up for her, fund her financially, grow her so much, until she achieved this small success. But she didn't realise that. Fine. Let her run the business herself then.

To guys out there, don't beg. I used to be weak, used to think that I can't live without her.

Trust me, a cheater is always a cheater. It's just like thief. Do thief feel remorse or regret after stealing things from you? No. So why you want to think that she will regret her actions and come back to you?

As my sister said: 一次不忠,百次不用.

She left you because she can't find the "feeling" that both of you used to have. Now she found it with someone else. So she left you, cheated on you, sleep with other guys.

Even she comes back, it's not because the "feeling" is back. There are some other "value" in you that they want. In my case, it's business that I'm helping her with.

So, don't let her think that she can manipulate your feeling just because she tells you that she still loves you.

Fuck that bitch! I'm moving on! I will be more successful without her.

Time for me to start looking for new friends, grow back my circles. Focus on my own thing, do my own business!
*
I think love is like trust. It's either you trust or you don't.

Because if it's not. Then u will hv scenario like you love girl A 25%, love girl B 50%, and love girl 75%. But if you are in relationship with girl A, that makes you the cheater. Period.

Another point I would like to make is....Examine this statement..."The trouble is, you think you have time.". And for you ex, she always knew she had one more time. You enabled her. Bad boys don't do that. What they do is quite the opposite. They do something like, "If you want me, you can have me. Now. Once I'm gone, I'm gone for good."

The last point is...I don't you have build something meaningful enough. Because if you do, you won't even let ur mum to cock it up for you.
Try put ur energy, focus onto something you want for the next 7-10 years. And I bet my ass u would shoot even Jesus if he dares stand in your way.

And you look back that time, you will realize people come and go. If there is anything worth keeping at all, that would be the good memories. The rest are pretty much disposable.



 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0204sec    0.42    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 22nd December 2025 - 03:29 AM