omg, this thread makes me uncomfortable. I don't feel like getting into marriage.
My parents are the same, not getting along for many years. Some shit happen in front of my eyes when I was young. They still lives together but separate room. Thats why I always don't feel secure getting into any relationship, only ONS and Cheong my whole life.

Did woman often change their personality after marriage? I heard that a lot, how do you decide to Her attitude based  on ur criteria before marriage if they will always change after that

they might fake treating ur family well, after marriage different case lol

Yes, but good news she sent me a picture and short video after i request for it through Line msgr. but she replied like a day after.
6 Years is a long time I'm, amaze both of you can handle a 3 years long distance relationship quite well.
1. You should be open to your parents no matter what is the consequences. Many parents will of course prefer their kids to marry someone with financial freedom (not necessarily rich) free to buy house, buy car, buy anything you want (JK) But I can't blame them for that. most people including myself will need security or assurance. but some people will be assured after get to know the person in real life.
The reason why my ex father doesnt agree with our relationship is because we are not the same religion and she has to convert to my religion (I'm a Muslim) but I still do respect his father, ask for his blessing even he disagree, go to his house, talk nicely, bring my family to her house and meet with her father and also grand mother.
His father didnot attend our wedding ceremonial and wedding party. He refused, but her grandma attend. and she fully embrace me to be part of their family. I let my her go to visit her family to celebrate Christmas even though I'm not joining and her father appreciate that and slowly began to embrace me as well, and even gave me a watch as late wedding gift.
The point is: As long as your partner able to convince your family that he is a responsible person, hard working, and also will ensure that you will live happy and good life. The point of view will slowly change and financial will be secondary.
My family is not rich. My dad passed away since 1999 when i was in high school. My siblings much more richer than me. In fact I am nothing to compare to them, but that doesnt mean I will take advantage or burden them with my problem especially financial issue. But if they offer some help and yes I will gladly accept.
Convincing a parents will take time. But genuine feeling will be very appreciated and last longer. the attachment of mother and their children are very strong. U might be able to hide it, but somehow a parent will notice it but doesnt want to kepo only.

2. You have no plans yet. In my honest opinion, for a 6 years relationship that is quite dangerous for both of you.
- You will get older and when a female get older the chance and risk for pregnancy getting higher. at the same time the risk of being able to support your kids to go through higher education will be very limited.
- You will get comfortable of the existing situation until you feel that It's okey to let it flow. But is this really what you and your partner want?
- Denial of start talking about the future perhaps because u aware that he might not have enough saving or working towards the future that is why you didnt even bother or maybe hesitate to discuss about it. But you should start and see what is his reaction and his opinion about the relationship you are guys having.
- Sometimes I do feel that Marriage is just a status, in fact someone can be much more happier without even need to get married. But my understanding is leaning towards having a person that I am very comfortable to be on my side and also someone who can accept me for what I am. obviously my partner will expect the same. Second is to have a children and bring joy, happiness and share the best we can to the inner circle we have in this world.

My planning very simple. perhaps thats imple become a boomerang to my relationship.
I had enough of Years of BF/GF which ended up nowhere. I had enough of all the fake and expectation that a girl put towards me.
Suddenly i met this girl (Long lost hi bye friend) who I suddenly felt that she is the one because she is so understanding and able to accept for who I am, how is my family, and a very positive, happy, energetic person.
That time she has no savings, in fact I am the one who gave her a job in the company I work for.
and I have very little savings due to decent commitment I need to pay for mom allowance, mom's car installment, etc etc.

I ended up with finding extra side job here and there, and thankfully my sister able to get a good side job for me and enough to cover 3/4 of my wedding expenses.
She plans what she need to plan, and I come out with the money.
I spent total around RM 60K for wedding in her hometown and also in Malaysia. and I got back RM 3K for angpow and we use it to buy a huge 4 doors fridge! hahahaha.
My money back to 0, but I'm happy because sometimes life is simple. our expectation is the one that make it complicated.

The key point:
- Sincerity: You and your partner need to be sincere, good faith, i called it ketulusan hati.
- Communication: With partner, parents and in law (communicate it in a good way and positive tone)
- Treat people like how you want to be treated
- Be yourself and don't be hypocrite. I can say my ex wife is a hypocrite or have some mental issue. it's like the opposite of the person I know.
- Responsible: For husband to provide basic family necessity (housing, foods, some entertainment, clothing, pay bills) and also trust, love and attention moderately
If your BF doesn't like office work and prefer to be a Grab driver it is fine, as long as that occupation he is taking it seriously, he able to earn more than office job, etc also enough to cover the basic like what I have mentioned above.
But if the actual real reason for him to prefer Grab than office ls because he is not qualify, low self esteem, then you should becareful. Because he is just lying about his inability and boost himself up to pretend as if Grab is his choice instead of his inability to secure a decent job. However it is still good that he work his way to meet his end month meet.

Talking about end month meet also leading to another different problem.
1. What happen if he fall sick and unable to GRAB
2. What happen if car involve in accident and he unable to GRAB
3. what happen if car broke down for major repair and he doesn't have money to repair it?
If he able to manage his money very well by Grabbing, It is a sign that he is good responsible person and perhaps he should look into opening his own business instead doing GRAB.

I was a freelancer and eventually become a small time entrepreneur during my empty career in the corporate world. the genuine reason: The salary they offer me is not enough to cover the monthly expenses (besar pasak daripada tiang) So like it or not I do freelance, and as the business grow with more customer I start hiring people, but when business is bad I start selling my fancy stuff in order to be able to pay my staff salary. (Bad money management, but good responsibility)
In the end an offer with decent salary arrived and I decided to leave my small business behind and re join the corporate. Because at least I can calculate and cover my basic expenses and find the extra elsewhere.
With that I'm brave enough to start a family.

Hope my answer able to give you some valuable insight and also enlighten you from another perspective.

My question to you: Are you willing to live in his Grandma's House and also help to support family expenses, or even his meal?

But usually can't faking treating their own family. How you should respect your in law when you cant even respect ur own rite?

very informative advice.
Just like how men treats a lady like a gentlemen during the lovey dovey time, after that its all back to his real self.

Like i said. a partner might be able to pretend and doing all the best during wooing or BF/GF relationship. Some even neglect their family, disobey their family put your partner no. 1 om top of everything in this world.

What happened to me was:
She used to put me no. 1 until we finally have a child.
She is very possessive toward our child and trying her best and over insecure of our child well being until she is way too over protective to our child.
Impact:
- Won't listen others advise, not even her my mom, her mom, her grandma the one she used to admire and praise about her way of raising children and manage a family.
- Read too much info which put negativity into her brain about dangerous things or substance.
- Treat own husband as if a toxic.
- Won't let ppl even family to carry with the kids. (Last time even scolded me for carrying my own kids, until i scold her: " Why you are exaggerating? is she my child or not? "

Again. she might fake towards partner, but if you open your eyes and not blinded by love you will be able to see many things to consider (and perhaps discuss it over that issue)
Lead her before It's too late, because I never really try hard to correct her, instead I'm trying too much to understand the hormone changes, etc etc.

That's why when a girl read too much stuff on the internet and believe them blindly, it'll be huge turn off for me.
Btw don't you worry about leaving your daughter with her? Her upbringing would be messed up, and she might turn into same or worse person than her.
I knew that because of how abusive my aunt was, and all the bullshit she spew onto us. Messed me a little until these days, I wonder how were my cousins. 

I've been into many different type of women and different type of relationship in this past 17 years since I'm dated.
So many things changes and right now I'm in the middle of divorce with my wife due to some reason and leaving my 1.5 years old daugther with her.

I'm not saying that my experience or advise will be a good example for guys out there but trust me, I would say that I understand and able to read what kind of person a women / girl by the way she talk, respond, etc.

The last one (ex wife) Is the only person who opened up my eyes that no matter what you might not see it coming. Which I though the is the most understanding, she is the one, etc. But after few months analyzing it and discuss it with my sister and I would say she is showing that symptoms and I did not see it coming, and my sis saw it but did not alert me.

you may post your questions (prefer something related with your relationship or yourself) and I will try answer it from my point of view.
Or if you want to ask about mine I will try to answer it as well, If i wanted to.

1. Always check how your spouse treating/talk their parents. and check with the reality.
2. How your spouse handle a conflict/disagreement with her family, colleague or friends.
3. How she listen to someone she trust and from her inner circle (family / spouse)
4. Few other long list to prevent further problem that you did not think it will happen to you.

Good luck!

so your planning to be back on track in relationship or being single for life now?

Divorce is not the end. It's setting free 2 parties who's suffering.
But i never heard of what's the after divorce feeling from a guy side. mind to tell ? haha!

Anyway, all the best! It's hard when the divorce involved kids.  Stay strong for both of you

In a chinese couple relationship, the reason they fight, quarrel, divorce especially when there is a burden kid often ties to one reason 'financially unstable'.

its okay to get married but if u want to have kid make sure your financial is in good stand

Reminded me of telling my mom how funny i felt. My neighbour daughter (call her A) sometime balik kampung always nag nag nag her children one.

A got 2 children.. one daughter and one son. The daughter is older...

Then one day I heard her older daughter scold her younger brother... also nag nag nag...just like her mom. I found it funny...

Hi, i have a concern about the feelings. How can u know she/he is a right person for you?
Sometimes it feels right, but sometimes the life is okay without him/her🤔
Any tips to read the sign?

hi perhaps you should elaborate further by giving example.

Life okay with or without him/her = you are independent enough which actually is good, so it will prevent you becoming a possessive partner.