I still kompious, who treat who?

lu ingat semua olang cina kaya ka? itu suda bagus la dia bagi RM10

kalau gua datang gua talak bagi duit maa, gua datang makan saja

apa lagi chinese wedding mau?

Even they don't give angpow is acceptable since u yang invite.

Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat....


~owai..

Don't BS that you can only afford RM10 lah dude. That is ultra super thick skin OK?

Your kepsi cost more than RM10.

https://www.themalaysianinsight.com/s/33423/

What is your opinion if people say the guest should be able to give any amount sincerely, no market price since this is an invitation. And guests should not be forced to pay for the wedding dinner so if can't afford, do a smaller one.

This post has been edited by Coup De Grace: Feb 6 2018, 07:38 PM

Calculative sial, dah ambik then forget about it la.

Rm10 maybe family kot,

During tea ceremony already give a lot,

So dinner pay as token jer

To be honest, you can’t be calculative about these things. What I like about the Chinese culture here is that there’s an understanding that when you attend a wedding dinner, your ang pow should be at “market value” depending on where the dinner is hosted and if alcohol is served.

Good luck getting anything close to that at Indian/Malay weddings. I’ve seen families with 5 kids come and sapu the food without even gifting a cent. At the end of the day, when we host a wedding dinner, it’s with the intention of sharing our special day with those invited. It’s their presence that matters.

Not everyone have rich frens like you

We are just peasant , not 20k earners

This

see it this way
in a malay wedding
friends would comes with things like
gas dapur ke, barang masak ke, katil ke, things like that and in return they get a kenduri lunch. see it that way
just following the tradition of "i help you, you help me"

as far as i understand how the culture goes for chinese wedding, its almost the same concept.
like in old days we are invited to the wedding, we know we are all not that rich,
neighber may bring ayam ke, itik ke, babi ke, sayur ke, potato ke apa lanjiao pun boleh bawa, sumua kampung boleh celebrate
but as we progress into a modern society, Money replaces all those essentials coz simpler, and faster.
home cook and temporary self made outdoor kitchen replaced with pro hoteliers or restaurant.

the concept will still going to be there. We never really mind the how much the guest will give or not gives or not.
To give is a form of respect, "approval" and "give faces". and in order to "give faces" as far as i understand how it goes here in Semenanjung,
depends heavily on the relationship between the persons and the family,
the angpao will be appropriate according to the custom and names will be written on the angpao to show the "approval" and "appreciation" towards the family

in kampung sarawak sabah however, still got the old Custom of giving RM50 with no name written
as "from whom" are not important but it tells the Main Family how their relationship with their peers or friends and the people around them.
if you're being a dick, folks will just give you little or may even not show up at all (how many empty tables)
if you're a rather popular person, you will highly unlikely to receive a mah jibai RM10,
to gib something that is so small is to show disapproval and disappointment towards the person
and often seems as extremely rude. almost like rubbing chopstick together in front of a japenese sushi chef. "its like calling him Cheap"
might as well dont give at all and keep quiet. datswai keep it quiet and nameless on the angpao.
its a mechanism of an old custom especially if we were in a small village, sendiri pandai pandai la.

[edit]
heres a couple of examples for Semenanjung wedding that i attended to
"Latok" dotter is getting married, my father/mother know the "latok" or the Datin - Gib angpao "RM500" write name there,
Boss in a small town, anak boss kahwin, father/mother cannot attend, I as a son come as well - gib angpao "rm300" no name written but show face with salesman and manager. big boss happy.
Jibai ppl who never really bother talking to us is getting married, because know him only but regardless he come up one day show faces ask us if we could come, we come la - gib angpao "rm50" no name written. bring crates of beer, we become good friend today and hopefully after today we can actually be friends instead of "hi-bye" acquaintances.

in small town kampung rural area
friend is getting married, close friend gib more but also no name, will bring pork and beer also to celebrate
rich friend is getting married in grand hotel, we all know he is particularly rich and do very very well and never complains about money, we also gib "rm50" but show faces and if got afterparty and bachelor night, we tapao or at least try to tapao.
poor friend is getting married, poor friend is hardworking and not bad of a fellow, very good friend. knows he always has money problem due to maybe hospital bill for mother or father
but he is very rajin and doesnt do gambling or drink heavily or even main amoi, everyday go work come back cook at home one
we help him "secretly" also tapao angpao inside from rm1k, if he come up to us and even ask for loan, we BAGI aje if possible to show appreciation, confirm before wedding finish can see him crying due to appreciation.

This post has been edited by Lada Putih: Feb 6 2018, 08:40 PM

good point

Very simple. U dont want pay, dont go.

U want to go, u give . Minimum RM100

Rm10 is a joke. My as well dont go

This post has been edited by kevin23: Feb 6 2018, 08:45 PM

read my recent post above, i hope i could explain it better.
the "shit comes out from their mouth" i understand very much.
but to only gib rm10 is like calling the relationship you have with the host "very cheap"
anybody would be offended as if they only worth "rm10"

ya u can afford it does not mean everyone can

and i din say giving rm10 is reasonable for TS case, im saying base on ur example given that u give rm1000 for your best friend wedding
and if they are your best friend they wont mind even if u give rm1 rm10 rm1000

I already told you what is important is the image between you and the people getting married.
I only generalized in a sense that it is what most people would think.

If I ever get married, I wont care people give me money or not also.

buat potluck ah senang

sendiri datang bawak lauk masing2

no issue angpow singit 10 ringit dah

That's y I always hope I don't kena bomb, I poorfag give rm88 only

and like any culture that over stays its welcome it should die, the concept can be noble, but theres nothing noble about a bride and groom who cant afford anything doing a grand wedding then getting stressed about money.

in simple terms, if one is stressed about cash, one has no reason to do the ceremony.

Giving face is a two way street, relatives coming to give you face is one thing, relatives/parents/guests demanding a grand wedding is another. They are not giving face to the host, infact its rude, like being served tea in someones home and go : "THIS ONE NOT PREMIUM NIPPON GREEN TEA? i dont drink filth"

we dont do this to to our bosses or clients even if they mistreat us and cheat us along the way.

likewise when our friends come, we should also give face, understand that they might not be in the best economic standing or that their believes might differ from us. We dont demand them to give face by forking out cash , after all, it is us that is calling for the wedding, they are our guests and in chinese culture or any asian culture, the guests should be treated well and with respect

In the olden days marriage was a much simpler affair, without a lot of the new "traditions" we seem to throw in this occasion without thought or measure. There were no wedding rings, no big venues, no fancy dress codes, couples need not ask RSVP months in advance to fit a "table quota" to match and pay for the thing.

Over the years we add more crap and more costs, everything be as expensive as possible. Its a once in a lifetime event says the marketers and the gullible buyers swallow it down like a hungry whores. All to a level where now, if there are no angpows, no one has any idea how to pay for dinner.

As you mentioned, the purpose in the old days was to provide aid to the newlywed, starting a family is expensive and finding a nest to roost more so. It is not to pay for a lavish wastage of wealth

At the core it is already rotten, hence why i disagree strongly to it, at this time and age where people are complaining about high costs, throwing money to the wind for a single day is very unwise. Then for a day suddenly we treat our friends and families worse than the people who mistreat us in our life.