Just wanted to say that I'm going through something similar.
I was single for all my life too and I never gave relationships a thought. I was going on with my life like normal until I was pretty old in life and suddenly met someone. Things turned out really badly and I was depressed for what felt like a long time. I'm over that person now but I can't never ever forget that feeling of ultimate hurt.
Since that incident, I felt like I've been 'changed'. I no longer can be 'happy'. I try my best to go by each day but I feel like I have to make an extra effort to make small talk with people. I no longer have faith and trust in people and I immediately assume the worst from them. I battle with myself a lot in my mind. Most days I believe that no one cares about me. Sometimes I am lucky enough to snap out of it for a short while. But the cycle repeats.
The point I want to make is this:
QUOTE(Invisblenot @ Apr 3 2016, 07:52 PM)
The sad part, once, I was so smart, successful, talented and I used to motivate others. Today I feel like a failure. Not many know what I'm going through though they can see I'm a changed person...
I relate to what you said there. I constantly ask myself, "Why am I like
this? Why have I become like
this? I never used to be like
this How can I get back to who I was?". But after a few years of floating by, I've begun to realise that "
this" is me now. It's time to accept that some event in life happened and changed us. And now it's not about looking back at the person we were because that is the past. Now we have to learn to understand the new us, who we have changed into and what our priorities in life are. I'm sure your priorities in life have changed too. Certain things now mean more to you, and certain things mean less.
I'm sorry you feel that way and I just wanna let you know you're not alone. I'm not sure you'll read this message but you can always PM me if you need someone to talk to.