We arr concern about your being but in wont help except you really want to stand up by yourself and not try to.

you did mentioned you stopped all things that you love to do or avoid going or doing things that will bring back d memories with him.

Love doesnt hurts but people who we loved. Your heart is hurt and as human will start all statments, lies or vow to protect out heart being hurt again.

You decided try to meet others or doing all things but it dont seems helpful. This is because you have harden your heart.

You cant go back to yourself as your heart is wounded. People will be better from time to time because life is a process of learning. this learning proceas are from our problems and mistakes. some people seems solved their problems but yet it become a repeated pattern in their lives.

To move on is to never give up because all problems occurs are within your gifted ability to solve. We live in present and not the past. Dont left our mind and heart in the past.

What Trigger you to make a promise to yourself to stop doing things you love most as you will remind of him?

What phrase cause you to fell regret, naive, stupid, dumb and injuatice to others?

You have been blessed with wisdom and talented. Lota of time, human wisdom are limitations.
Wisdom and talents are from our mind. Emotions are from heart. Heart wounded only can be heal by love, especially from family and God.

I would love you to pm me if you feel ccomfortable to talk in private.