TS offer is a bit on the high side, and the gf's parents seems getting greedy. Anyway, at least it settle.

Congratulations!

Congratulation, TS.

but bear in mind, be cautious, don't assume it is settled. not until your actual day because anything can happen until the actual day.

once u pass the actual day(actual day ceremony tea session,not guodailai) bringing liquor and fruits over. nothing happen.then it's fine.
because there is where all the relative is there and mouth,words is the strongest weapon. aunties,relative will talk and give alot of unecessary opinion.
example my friend. on actually day he brought wine to lady's house as agreed.one of the auntie mention, 'walao eh, wine owh...your daughter got so cheap like wine or not? i also can buy wine for u la. must at least liquor. don't give chivas or black label. this kind of liquor is hakyee liquor."..my friend straight no face.
the worst part is after hengdai play jimui game
relative all guard at door.dont let him enter house.
u want come in, go buy liquor.so no choice. one of his friend coincidentally got liquor at home, brought for him. the whole ceremony was on hold.
then auntie stand there with her mother and relative said, "want to get bride. where got so easy? if so easy, then bride no value".

i am not saying this to scare you. but we as guy, we ready until the very last minute.many other things example chinese custom, we are still not really familiar.
although we are familiar. there will be someone saying something on that day.

as of now, u are 33.33% settled.
congratulation, bro.

so i will be getting married this year..both our family had dinner to discuss the wedding.. i have one important question/situation. we wanted to give the bride's family 10 table for the wedding as we plan to do it together regardless where we do..my parents being honest stated one of the place we plan to have the wedding and the table gonna cost around 2.5k per table (but this is not confirm we might go for lower value)..but the bride's parents wants to add 5 tables on their own since they will need 15 tables in total.. but after the disccusion dinner (2 days later) they says that they want 12 tables from us instead.. but we could not fulfill it as we already give what we can which could come to cost about 25k.. normally the dowry i heard from friends is between 6k to 10k in klang valley if they do not give tables.. so now the bride's side know the table cost 25k in value.. they instead ask for 25k as dowry then they will held the wedding separely..both me and my fiancee wants to have it together but my fiancee parents seems to want to held separately for now..so do you guys think i should give 25k or just follow market rate if they want to hled separately?     

i have my wedding dinner done in a 4 Star Hotel in a giant ball room
RM688/table ( 2013 )

Is true..sometimes ppl around us may have some last minute decision that give you a shock.
During my wedding, my father-in-law borrow his cousin's car. But right after the morning wedding ceremony (bride received into groom's home). My father-in-law immediately return the car. That uncle was shock coz ppl already expected that a wedding car will be use for whole day and he don't mind. But my father-in-law insisted. And that time, we travel bk hometown using my Kelisa. Since wedding car already returned... end up my Kelisa is parked at the wedding car parking infront of the restaurant ... looks a bit odd.  But the worst part happen is .. after the event, I directly head home without changing. I hardly sit straight with my belly-tight and huge gown. Hence, kena lie down in the car from restaurant bk home.. yucky..
If we know such stupid thing will happen, might as well pay a bit more and rent car from the wedding studio.. instead of let my father-in-law borrow car.

Hi Guys,

Just to jack this topic a bit, any give details on what to bring during the actual day except for liquor?

Holy mother of god. very paiseh. actually best to return the car either after dinner or next day.
it depend on your discussion with the bride's family. example roast pig. by right it is suppose to bring during actual day so can cut and serve guest, but now days people give during guodailai session. u can bring fruits, longevity noodle. no specific preference.just discuss with bride's family.
some people even give a day before the ceremony.so actual day dont have to bring many things.
very subjective.

Holy mother of god. very paiseh. actually best to return the car either after dinner or next day.

Hi Guys,

Just to jack this topic a bit, any give details on what to bring during the actual day except for liquor?

I am getting married this year too. From my understanding, it goes like this.

If let's say dowry is like 10,000. If the groom doesn't have much cash on hand, they can do something like give 5 tables to the bride family (costing RM 1,000 each - total RM 5,000) + another RM 5,000 in cash. Total is 10,000.

OR

Give total 10 tables for the bride family with RM 0 dowry (if they accept it)

But then again, you have to take into consideration the "angpao received" on that wedding day itself. Does it belongs to you - OR - are you going to split it with the bride side? Is your wedding fully handled by you and the bride or its gonna be a split?

A split usually means groom takes up 25 tables, bride takes up 25 tables. Angpao received is divided depending on how many pax are attending. Some have huge family members vs the partner's side. Maybe the groom has 75 tables and bride side only have 10 tables. So therefore the groom is entitle for his own angpao received and bride on her own. Costings are calculated separately.

On my side, I am thinking giving dowry of RM 6000 + 3 tables (worth Rm 4,800) = Rm 10,000 +. Angpao I take all (I as in me and my wife) to cover the entire dinner. If covered everything, aka my dowry is just RM 6000 cash

I am getting married this year too. From my understanding, it goes like this.

If let's say dowry is like 10,000. If the groom doesn't have much cash on hand, they can do something like give 5 tables to the bride family (costing RM 1,000 each - total RM 5,000) + another RM 5,000 in cash. Total is 10,000.

OR

Give total 10 tables for the bride family with RM 0 dowry (if they accept it)

But then again, you have to take into consideration the "angpao received" on that wedding day itself. Does it belongs to you - OR - are you going to split it with the bride side? Is your wedding fully handled by you and the bride or its gonna be a split?

A split usually means groom takes up 25 tables, bride takes up 25 tables. Angpao received is divided depending on how many pax are attending. Some have huge family members vs the partner's side. Maybe the groom has 75 tables and bride side only have 10 tables. So therefore the groom is entitle for his own angpao received and bride on her own. Costings are calculated separately.

On my side, I am thinking giving dowry of RM 6000 + 3 tables (worth Rm 4,800) = Rm 10,000 +. Angpao I take all (I as in me and my wife) to cover the entire dinner. If covered everything, aka my dowry is just RM 6000 cash

it depends on both family discussion.
i have several case i would like to share here.
1) i have friends who come from an average family, during discussion the bride's parent mention 10k. at the end, they return RM9,999. to the groom. just take rm1. because they said,i am not selling daughter.

2) i do have friends come from average and request for rm10k. they return rm188 to the groom.

3) my friend from wealthy family. bride's family request for rm20k and then return rm1k.

4) and i have friend who parent mention, do not dowry.

5) and some even ended up in a arguement/debation.

ultimately, it all depends on discussion between both family.
I have been through the discussion.it's not easy as a guy. but here is the tip for u which i can think off:

a) pre-amp ur wife/husband what do u want roughly. so during the discussion,both family knows what u want.they will just glance through and agree or if there are changes,it'll be just minor changes. This is very crucial to both bride and groom.

b) when ur wife or wife family start to "lost of word" or "ganciong". be a man and stand up, voice out what is the plan u have mention to ur parent before as it was pre-amp.dont let them force out. sometimes they will have this thinking of "i am the one married and i have to tell out my market price, like i decide my price". we can't blame how the ladies think. but as a man. this is crucial as well.

c) bring them to a nice restaurant to eat and discuss. dont have to go to expensive restaurant. preferably an average or slightly above average like dragon-i, canton-i or even breakfast dimsum.but dont go to jin xuan dimsum. bring them go to places like oriental restaurant for dimsum. budget around rm300, get a room. make it look like it's a grand event afterall.it is an important event. believe me, when both family is there, they will behave.

with this 3 tips,i believe u will go through this session.
not easy as a guy,man,husband to be because most of the time, they wont pity the guy. but still, we have to go through and eventually will.
In your case,
u are coming from a wealthy family (judging from ur table rm2.5k/tableestimately at hotel..average people wont do that.average people will go for around RM 899-1299, and it's obvious that your parent is helping). perhaps ur in law are taking advantage over u.
to me when i meet people like this, i will not go softhearted.
if they intend to combine wedding, then the term can be discuss.
if they intend to do separate wedding, there's no point to discuss. just dowry rm8,888. and that's all.
parent who does that normally using this opportunity to earn angpao. when u can see their eye is materialistic. u have to be man up to do something.
after all, marriage is just for the both of u to be happy. why till this extend?
if i were u, i will give rm8,888 and that's all.nothing more.

good luck