it depends on both family discussion.
i have several case i would like to share here.
1) i have friends who come from an average family, during discussion the bride's parent mention 10k. at the end, they return RM9,999. to the groom. just take rm1. because they said,i am not selling daughter.

2) i do have friends come from average and request for rm10k. they return rm188 to the groom.

3) my friend from wealthy family. bride's family request for rm20k and then return rm1k.

4) and i have friend who parent mention, do not dowry.

5) and some even ended up in a arguement/debation.

ultimately, it all depends on discussion between both family.
I have been through the discussion.it's not easy as a guy. but here is the tip for u which i can think off:

a) pre-amp ur wife/husband what do u want roughly. so during the discussion,both family knows what u want.they will just glance through and agree or if there are changes,it'll be just minor changes. This is very crucial to both bride and groom.

b) when ur wife or wife family start to "lost of word" or "ganciong". be a man and stand up, voice out what is the plan u have mention to ur parent before as it was pre-amp.dont let them force out. sometimes they will have this thinking of "i am the one married and i have to tell out my market price, like i decide my price". we can't blame how the ladies think. but as a man. this is crucial as well.

c) bring them to a nice restaurant to eat and discuss. dont have to go to expensive restaurant. preferably an average or slightly above average like dragon-i, canton-i or even breakfast dimsum.but dont go to jin xuan dimsum. bring them go to places like oriental restaurant for dimsum. budget around rm300, get a room. make it look like it's a grand event afterall.it is an important event. believe me, when both family is there, they will behave.

with this 3 tips,i believe u will go through this session.
not easy as a guy,man,husband to be because most of the time, they wont pity the guy. but still, we have to go through and eventually will.
In your case,
u are coming from a wealthy family (judging from ur table rm2.5k/tableestimately at hotel..average people wont do that.average people will go for around RM 899-1299, and it's obvious that your parent is helping). perhaps ur in law are taking advantage over u.
to me when i meet people like this, i will not go softhearted.
if they intend to combine wedding, then the term can be discuss.
if they intend to do separate wedding, there's no point to discuss. just dowry rm8,888. and that's all.
parent who does that normally using this opportunity to earn angpao. when u can see their eye is materialistic. u have to be man up to do something.
after all, marriage is just for the both of u to be happy. why till this extend?
if i were u, i will give rm8,888 and that's all.nothing more.

good luck