Hi All,

I am unsure whether to post this in Girl's Club or Cupid Corner or Serious Kopitiam, but decided to post it here to get more female's serious opinion.
I have sexual urge, i dunno whether it is in normal or high sex drive.

The thing that is bothering me is, i do not know how to release it in a healthy way. I meant since i am small, my religion, background, and surrounding ppl certainly despised ppl who engaged in ONS, or to cincai sleep with any guy. N i do not have a bf. I do not want to find a bf just for sex.

I actually quite in awe of some of my frens who can know some guys, after some time, sleep together. N then move on, and know another guy again, and sleep again, and move on after that. For me, our culture dun encourage such open relationship.

My question is, I need help and advise, on how to control these sexual urge?
I know some will suggest masturbation, i tried b4, but I dun reli enjoy it. I want a guy, but deep down, i know i don't want to with just any guy, because after doing it, i'll cry and look down on myself.

So, i want to read other's female's opinion on how to control own's sexual urge when one is single.
Serious opinion/advise, no troll please.

this is the part when a fuck buddy comes into play

Fuck buddy is not what i am looking for.
Any opinion or advise from ladies/females?

fubu isn't any body. sort of likea close friend whom u have ssex with. u derive the same pleasure except without the commitments

Have you ever been with a man before? Because if you haven't, then saying that not enjoying masturbation is weird to me.

I don't know what else to tell you. If you can't/won't do casual sex, then you're just going to have to handle it yourself.

surely its masturbation..

hmmm well i do have that urge every month, im single too and im...erm well msg me if u wanna have a talk with me...i just give u my experience then? i just dont like to say it here lol

try some lube before masturbation. it will help. sometimes too dry will cause discomfort

This post has been edited by jyll92: Jan 26 2016, 11:07 AM

Are you masturbating the correct way?

I would say go out and get an understanding fubu, but since you mentioned that is out of the options, then the only way is to settle it yourself. Either that or do other things to keep your mind of your urges, but it'll only probably come back stronger after that.

*but it'll only probably come back stronger after that* i do agree with this lol, but it depends on each person though, for me that *urge* will be gone for days ......sighhh

anyway try google about masturbation method if ur still not comfortable with it~

got urge..handle it. If self gratification cannot satisfy then you will need to find fubu. Best if you can find a boyfriend. But until you find one, fubu would be one of the option.

If religion is not allowing you to do what you "need", then you need to decide for yourself.

I sense trollers from /k inkambing...

Close fren? Sometimes i wonder how ppl can get fubu. As in 'hey, wanna have sex?', then do it again and again.


I m not comfortable with the idea of casual sex. I want to know whether is it normal for gals to have casual sex/fubu nowadays?
Isn't it a risk to the body (pregnancy/STD) and etc etc.



Not the dry problem. But i may give this a try.


Masturbating the correct way? Err, got correct or wrong way?
An understanding FUBU? I dunno any, and surely dunno an understanding 1.

I do agree the more i control my urge, it seems to get stronger.

For now, just gotta handle it myself.

I am just reli curious. Is casual sex/fubu really a norm?
For guys, maybe some dun care.
But as gals, there is this discrimination that we should be proper and all that.

erm... it will happen naturally but whence that come, u'll have to set clear boundaries to not make it into a relationship

do meditation

ur urge will disappear

I have stopped masturbating for few months and gonna continue

It's okay to not be comfortable with the idea, it's not really for everyone, but yes it's normal. There is more stigma attached to women being casual about sex, but that is a double standard and I think we need to stop perpetuating it. Women have needs the same way men do.

Of course, but you take precautions. If the man you're with doesn't want to take the same precautions, then don't be with him.

i think ur issue is not high sex drive but u look at sex as a stigma instead of something natural.
u sound conflicted between ur heart (want bf) mind (religion,guilt,culture) and body naturally wants
u mentioned "our culture" but i think you can take this journey to understand urself instead of culture and what others think about you or about sex.

when its not big deal, then your ready for it

Yeah , kinda scary if the fubu develops into a relationship. So unhealthy. From love then sex, but this one opposite. Sex 1st, then love

Medidation? Love to try that. Just sit and think of nothing. I dun think have that patience.

Yeah, society's way of thinking is guy is ok to have casual sex. But if gal did it, then will be 'cheap' and called all sorts of names.


Uncleraymond, u r so spot on. I think i am not high sex drive. Just feel very conflicted between religion/society/a gal's image.
That's why when one think of it as no big deal, they will naturally indulge and enjoy themself.

But for me, i dun think i can enjoy it without thinking about whether it is right or wrong.

It is unhealthy, not going to lie but it solves ur problem. didn't say the solution is perfect haha

just masturbate to let the steam out.....then keep yourself busy with stuff.......anything to avoid over-masturbating.

Which is a double standard and needs to be abolished.
Why? Sex is natural. It's how you even came into existence. It's not wrong. It's just that the culture/society around you doesn't like to talk about it, which makes it feel wrong to talk about, but trust me, almost everybody around you is having sex and/or masturbating.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Jan 27 2016, 08:18 AM

No,you'll have.
I''ll give you a Youtube link.This is a meditation music.Work for me everytime.
Find a serene place and sit down then open the music and focus on your breath.Just dont fall into sleep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPVX75VIpqg...channel=OneMind

Nowadays,I don t even have the 'urge' .Hooray for me!

I think guys/gurls should be the same. It is all in your brain. If you kept thinking about it, then there's nothing to help you.

Sex is an addiction. Some may not agree. However, you can ask people about it. When you never/stop having it for some time, the urge is not that strong really. You can easily brush it away by occupying your mind with something else.

However once you had an orgasm, then you will feel the need for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on. It gets you hook on until you break off the spell and let the urge subside. It release chemical substances that make you feel good which make you look forward the next occurences.

I think the first time is usually the hardest. If you had a good one, you will feel the urge to seek more. On the other hand, if its a bad one, then you will give all sort of reason to reject anymore.

It all the same with sex, ONS, paid sex, masturbation. Not to undermine the important of sex, but masturbation give a better sense of enjoyment if you do it the right way. Sex is exhausting, while masturbation is more about relaxation. You will stop when you had enough, not more, not less.

If you are someone with high emotional attachment, then better distance yourself from ONS or FuBu.

This post has been edited by andrekua2: Jan 27 2016, 10:23 AM

puasa. meditate.

First of all, everybody has the sexual urge, be it boys or girls as it is a part of life. However, if you are not comfortable with the idea of ONS/FUBU, then don't start at all,
especially if you are still a virgin. Of course the idea of being embraced by a man is thrilling and exciting, but it will ruin you and totally change you into a different person.

Certainly, as mentioned by someone, meditating is a way to forget about the sexual urge. But that is if you can totally divert your concentration to something else, which is very difficult,
and most probably it won't work for most people as we all know sexual urge is very addictive.

Personally, i think that everyone's way of curbing this problem is different. You can try all the suggestion that people gave you and none suits you. As for me, normally
I would go to the gym and totally exhaust myself and the urge would be gone.

If you need more advice or need more opinions, don't hesitate to PM me.

If you are easily affect by emotions and form emotional bonds easily (you seem like one), then it's gonna be difficult to be in a casual sex relationship with someone else. Yes, some casual relationships turn into 1-sided romantic ones, hence why I said an understanding partner is required. A casual relationship ain't simple, there are rules that you two will have to come up with and follow closely. It's hard to say what's the norm and what's not. To some, having sex daily is a norm, and to others, the norm is that sex is only for reproduction. Normal is different to everyone when it comes to sex.

Yes, societal's image of a girl is pure/innocent/virgin, everyone around you makes you think that you should be like that. That is how you should live your life. A girl is not suppose to have high sexual desires, a girl is not suppose to initiate such things, blah blah.. Well, we are only humans and sex is natural. It's just how you yourself can find the preferred way to handle your urges. Who cares about what the society thinks? There's no right or wrong when it comes to such things.

Of course there are risks of STDs and pregnancies when it comes to sex. We do take precautions when engaging in any form of sex, as no matter what, you will expose yourself to such risks. So if you wish to not do so, then just settle with masturbating/meditation and keeping your mind off sex.

I don't really wanna go into details but maybe you can google about masturbating and see if you are doing all you can with your masturbation techniques.

Sex is natural. I agree. Just different ppl from diff background makes them view sex differently. Nothing wrong with sex.
Everyone doing it? I agree also, but not 100%, because some ppl reli do not have sex (coz of various reasons- no partner, etc etc), but they do masturbate also.


Wahh, no urge at all. Good for you.

Masturbation is handle by us ourself. We can control. However, sex is entirely different thing. More excitement.
Maybe i did it the wrong way, thus the enjoyment is lesser.

Yes, i m too attached, i cannot have ONS or FUBU.

You are right. I am uncomfortable/dislike the idea of FUBU/ONS, i can think about it, but i shouldn't start. Yeah. If i did it, i dunno what will happen.
Going gymn is one good way, but cannot go 24/7. Maybe during days the urge is stronger, can go do other stuff to make oneself busy.

I am emotional type of gal, so cannot have fubu all that. Not suitable for me. It may grow into some more complicated relationship.
I need to learn how to handle this urge in a more positive way, such as the only thing i can think of now, is to masturbate correctly.

I think, certainly did it wrongly. Thx for the advise, munkeyflo, and everyone.

You never heard some couple even stop having sex few years into marriage? I can tell it only special during the first few years from your first try or a relationship. After that, its kinda like a schedule/routine. Then only you reflect on if sex was exciting.

A friend of mine who was hooked on paid sex told me why he got so into it. Its really boring with the same partner after a year or two. He still havent get married. I guess thats why some girl would do casual sex, because it does give you the excitement you get whenever you do it with a new partner or stranger or friend.

Yep,eventhough sometimes I carelessly click into some "website"
I dont even have the urge to masturbate at all.

I think I'am successed.
Mental>Urge

You can follow my step too.
I think I can help you step by step.

I think you should look for fubu, it will certainly satisfy your needs..

you want to relieve ur urge or to control it? if you want to control it why not look for other thing to spend your time rather than keep urself quiet and think of ur urge? Will sports help to tired you out?

This is kinda true. We as humans will crave variety. If it has been with the same person for years, sometimes we get curious. And that will again depend on how good our self control is if we are in a relationship. Some will even go into swinging or open relationship if both partners can come to a solution for that undying urge.

We can try to keep things spicy in the bedroom but for some, that'll never be enough.

But TS not yet reach there yet. Wait till she has a bf and has been sleeping with him for years first. For guys it may be a year or two to get bored, but not for all girls. There were definitely temptations but I was definitely still not bored even after >5 years.

Of coz sex will get routine after many years of being together. But doesn't meant it is an excuse to cheat his/her other half.
If your fren go for paid sex, he is cheating to his gf. Pity that gal.
I think if u r single, u can do whatever u want, but once u have a bf/gf, have to be loyal to your other half.


Yes, this is a great way, to stop the urge.
Even u click on those website, u also can control. U r master already.


Good questions. I want to both release it and also control it. Cannot both ohh?
I cannot be busy 24 hours, i cannot do sports 24 hours.
There will be times that i will be free.

Gals is definite different. Majority gals is more loyal than guys. I am not saying all gals, but majority.
I also won't be bored if with the same guy more than 5 years.

I'm not a master anyway.I am just a normal 18 y/o boy.
I did masturbated before...but I really hate the feeling after masturbated.
The feeling of being guilty....I felt I did something wrong...

So I try my best to stop masturbating.
You dont want to give yourself a try to stop masturbating?

This is not about cheating. I'm just showing you an example of sex is over-rated. The excitement is all in your head because you are anticipating things. It will not last.

Well, if that's the case, why don't u find a bf?? I'm pretty sure there are a lot of hungry single men out there as well. It might be the best solution to ur problem.

U feel guilty for masturbating? I think i have the same feeling as you. Are you from a religious family? Or you mix with all nice nice frens?
I want to stop if i am able to control. But for now, it is ok. Just go with the flow.

I agree sex between couples, the heat will be gone after the 1st few years. Then it is the commitment and responsibility and vow to each other that is most important.

I want a bf. But not just for this reason lah.

Yes, everytime I masturbated the feeling will overwhelmed me.....I felt I did something wrong...
I think I shoudn't do this.....regret
I'm come from a Chinese family...but I dont trust Gods do exist.Because Science cant proof it.lol
Friends?I think is normal but not too bad..they are love to have a gf or peek on pretty girls
But I dont do it....I dont like to peek on girls or something.
(I'm not a gay if you think so..I just want to focus on my study get a good job earn money and go travel around the world)
Girls....for me is nothing

You have to tell yourself dont masturbate if the urge coming
Trust yourself...your mental will win against the urge

This post has been edited by Snowy98: Jan 30 2016, 09:27 AM

I accidentally repeat twice...

This post has been edited by Snowy98: Jan 30 2016, 09:29 AM

Trust me,,if u try find a solution to treat this urge,that is by feeding ur urge,,,u gonna ruin ur body n mind,,,it is very unhealthy(trust me,if u think u should experience it first and then believe me,it will be too late),both physically n mentally.U may not know when u change,,people will be like;go on have sex a lot.It is good.NOOO!!!Is not bad ,but,in excess,u will face depreciation,especially compared to if u r NOT feeding ur urge.It will make mentally sick, sex should something healthy but the way (especially if ur family overacts too much when it comes about sex) u are dealing with, it could cause a lot of confusion about what is wrong and right(much like ur friend that sleep with many guys).

i could talk about bio,but it will be to. complicated.(the moment humans development(both mentals n physicals) stops,,is almost the moment they are ready for reproduction,there may a lot deviation about this fact, but this the barebone.

So,answer is, simple,,,get engaged in some real sports(not gyms)(yes physicall exhaustion will treat this,so be hardworking enough),,It must be difficult at first but stay away from porn and start challanging ur mind(it could be anything, like mathematics,science journals(long one), novels and so much).Get some motivation talks,if u r not immune to those.

With that said, u should remember, there is no reason for u to try to hate that urge(healthy human do) but in excess it's bad.
Go for long marathons or perhaps hill climbing .Also more importantly(this could take some time(perhaps this could be the source).Be vegetarian for a week(thats enough).
Stop any dairies from ur diets,stop eating muttons n pork(for a while or reduce them)(U may ask why other people eat them but be fine,,every human being is different.)So change ur diet,,,take fruits n reduce fats and protein intake(for a while).
Ultimately,,stay away from porn.
If really want it or not, it's from ur mind,,why am i telling these,,i had experience this before n im good now.

Remember hormones do control our brain activities.

This post has been edited by hdbjhn2: Jan 30 2016, 11:46 PM

U r a good boy. I will try to do the correct thing. Meaning i will continue to settle it myself and not do things that i will regret later.

Yeah, if i keep feeling myself with drugs for example, i will get more and more addicted to it. N the roots of the problem will never goes away.
N it will gets more serious one day.

I won't feed my urge by doing things i think is unhealthy such as getting ONS. If i have urge, i think settle it myself.
I won't 100% stay away from porn. But i will do sports and engaged in more healthy activities.
Yeah, hormones do certainly control us, especially nearing the time of the month for gals.

I will treat this urge in a healthy way. N not indulge in ONS. Masturbation is ok, for release. As long as not done in excess.
Thx for the advise.

Haha thanks...

I remember when I was masturbating,my mind will pop out some thing,I will think how about my female's friend think if they saw me doing this terrible things...but at that point I cant control myself.The urge is too strong.Then after masturbated...I will regret...Why I did that,I shouldnt do it.

Then,I come out a conclusion.
If you want to prevent from masturbating dont touch your genital .Just dont touch it and nothing will go wrong.If you just wash when bath is ok.
If I'm a boy,I just dont 'roll' my genital then I will not masturbate.(sorry i dont know how girls masturbate)

I would like to follow up you,hope you can quit masturbate just like me

Y lah u think how gals will think of u if u masturbate. Most gals know guys will masturbate lah. Mana ada guys dun masturbate one. Maybe some rarely masturbate. But i believe all guys masturbate also lah.

I won't quit masturbate lah. That's my only way to release. But i will quit from thinking other silly stuff like fubu lah.

Sorry to jump into your topic but i hardly read/knew girl masturbate also. It will be a discovery and i believe is not a taboo thing if it is taken into considerstion

Double post

This post has been edited by andrewcha: Feb 1 2016, 02:49 PM

You should really consider looking for FUBU.
It really helps..

+1 to this. TS need to learn how to control. Everyone has the urge, me too sometime will have it, but I try to make me busy with other stuff and it will gone. Anyway, sometime masturbate is the fast solution to it but you will get addicted.

Man or woman all have their urges, all depends on the level of it. Many here have already suggested things that you can do to occupy yourself to minimize the urge. However, for the times when the urge is too great, masturbating is the best and least harmful method of relieving yourself. Plus, who better to give yourself pleasure than yourself? Doing things like FUBU and ONS just bring more risk especially if you don't know who you're getting involved with.

One word of caution is that you shouldn't let it take control or make you have the want and need to masturbate all the time. It shouldn't take over your life. I don't think you're any different or weird than the girls I know. This is just who you are and don't feel weird if you have some feelings or urges that don't fit into society's norm.

Most important is to love yourself and do no harm to others.

You probably have not met enough girls or no girls around you are comfortable enough to share such things with you.

She can't. She can get emotionally attached to others easily. Which isn't ideal for people who engage in FUBU relationships.

agree, but then I have been through this phase,
and as for me I find it easier to release the urge with an FUBU,
also we had very high level of understanding on our FUBU relationship.
That's the reason I suggested FUBU.

First of all she needs to talk to someone she trust. then from there she may identify and understand what she needs..
She can PM me if she wanted.

I agree that a fubu will be the best way. In my first reply to this thread also I mentioned that ideally, she can find an understanding fubu.

I do hope things work out for her soon.

Agree. but I n her case she needs a really understanding FUBU.
Because when her urge fades off after the "fun" she might get emotional and stuff..

you're kind of emotional, you need to learn to let go, control your everyday feeling, by then you can control the urge also, you need to be in control of yourself first

actually you should consider a dildo. I heard the effect is really good

Yep I agree that every man do masturbate before...
some may rarely...but some will stop it just like me

I think masturbate's pattern is very ugly lol ...indeed
glad I stopped it

Why you have to release?You get horny? or something like this?

Now,even I look some 18x things....nothing happen to me
my mind will just say "oh a guy fxxk a girl.... nothing else"
without getting any urge or 'horny' at all haha

TS, I'm going to give you advice which very few people will agree on:

I think you should just go find a guy and fxxk him.

The reason why you haven't already is because of the way you've been brought up. You've been taught that sex is something dirty and something sacred. You've been taught to be afraid of sex, afraid of doing it "wrong" because there's only one "right" way to do it. You've been taught that sex is something that girls give and that guys take, which is why you as a girl must be extra super careful about it. You've been taught that, as a girl, your body and heart and "purity" is extremely fragile.

See, I disagree with all of these things - but the thing is, most people are perfectly happy to live that way. Most people are brought up that same way, and most people will be perfectly content with that kind of thinking, because sex is ultimately a very small part of their lives. Most of them are just not highly-sexed people; they hardly ever feel any urge, and they never feel something's missing if they never have sex.

I don't think you're that kind of person. I think you're a highly-sexed person, you're born that way, and there's just no avoiding it. And I'm sorry to tell you that if you live the way you've been taught, you will be unhappy for most of your life. The urges that you're feeling now will never go away. You will always feel unsatisfied, and this dissatisfaction will affect your relationships. Perhaps one day, when you're much older, you will finally discover sexual satisfaction - and when you do, you will curse yourself because you went through life for so long without it.

You may ask, how do I know all this? Because you are not unique. There are many, many women who went through the same thing in their lives. Your story is very common

Maybe you don't believe me, but there are women out there who are sexually adventurous and aware of their own desires. They've gone through your fears and insecurities, and they've become more independent and more satisfied with their sex lives. I recommend you find them and talk to them, just to learn what it's like for someone with a completely different view of life. Right now, it seems like you can't even imagine separating your sexual urges from your emotions. I think it'll be a real eye-opener for you to meet people - girls especially - who can do it very easily

For those who suggest me to find a fubu, hmm. It is kind of exciting and very thrilling at 1st for sure, but when the sex is repetitively, i dunno how i will reacts. Emotional? I dunno. Will i get to attached with the fubu? I also dunno.

I can let go of myself not by having sex with strangers, letting go in the sense of dun think so much about sex, and just be in control of myself.

I know some gals who dun look at sex in a heavy way, meaning they r ok to date this guy and have sex, then few mths later date another guy, and have sex. Very casual kind. Like sex is not a big issue.

If date and have sex may still ok. But some just ONS, i cannot accept ONS. U never know how many gals he slept with b4, or any sexual disease he has. Dangerous.

As for FUBU, i am just thinking will one get addicted to it? I meant, guy A is 1st FUBU, and it is just so exciting and then u find Guy B. Just want to hear more of gal's experience. Some suggest an understanding FUBU? What is an understanding FUBU?

Highly sex person? Is there such thing? I am horny during certain period of time only. N when i watch/saw/heard something, then maybe ham sap lah. I dun think of sex 24 hrs a day. Highly sex, maybe i am.

It depends on your lifestyle. Some may meet their ONS/FUBU at a club, some may meet them online. But whatever it is, one would usually chat, flirt and meet up with them before engaging in any sexual activities. There's always a risk that he could be very dangerous lol. As mentioned before, always use condoms to prevent STDs, some cannot be prevented with a condom but YOLO, everything we do has risks.

I think you should get some experience then set some rules for yourself. Like say maybe you won't do ONS or you won't sleep with married men, etc. Find out what you like and don't like, what is acceptable to you and what's not.

When you learn to separate sex and your emotions, sex is just enjoyable for that moment. The urges are released, satisfied. And actually when the time comes for sex with a loved one, it's different, it's passionate and loving and also satisfactory when feelings and emotions are involved.

Understanding fubu as in both are on the same page, and knows what your thoughts are about sex currently. Some fubus are just there to have sex then leave, some willing to be good listeners and advicors. You don't want one who would treat you like a sex toy, you would want one who knows that you are also a person with feelings and emotions. You most likely won't be with one fubu forever, unless you get married to him. It's more like a period of exploring and just having fun. One day you would meet the right guy who will make you his wife. Till then, just go and enjoy yourself.

ts, please post up how many kambing/meow meow/trolls
have personal sms u to become ur ....

Although this might not be a good solution or appropriate, why dun u try having xxx with a girl or tomboy 1st.

Sex is a natural urge especially during ovulation.

TS seems to be at the right age to be experiencing this.

Just occupy yourself with other physical activities during that time of month and you should be fine.

To scratch that itch when you are not ready to would be to invite unwanted heartbreak especially if you are a girl.

I personally believe the right place for sex is within the context of a marriage.
Anything else is open invitation for emotional problems sooner or later.

I think you can ask advice from the professional such as counselor in this kind of field. They will provide more solution and idea to you which is close to your personality and behavior. Don't be shy to look for them as we are part of the life in this world =)

I think this is quite silly. What exactly are you afraid of? That sex feels good and you want to do more of it? Sex addiction is a real psychological disorder, but it's very rare, and it's the last thing you should worry about if you're just beginning to explore your sexuality.

Your emotions are under your own control. Sex is not something that will brainwash you into falling in love with a guy whom you would never fall for if you didn't have sex with him.

That's true of anyone, ONS or fubu or serious boyfriend. Always insist that he uses a condom.

I have some fubus who admit they have very high drive and even admitted masturbatr 20 times a day. Whether is bad or good depends on how you perceive it, me and fubus are still friends despite some have bf or married already.

I think the most important part is about keeping secrets and not letting ppl know then u will be comfortable.

Having sex with a gal/TB? I won't. Not interested in such same sex relationship. Better do it alone.

Masturbate 20 times a day? That is too extreme.

I actually dun think much about all this already. I know that the urge is only strong during certain period of the month. I am learning to understand how to handle it in a positive way. N i know what is acceptable for me and what is not.

Thank you so much for all the advise and encouragement.

sigh, u guys are too free to be worried about this

What we mean by understanding FUBU is you gotta be clear that you guys are meeting up to have some "fun" and as well as some moral support for the things that has been bothering your mind. if you ask me FUBU not only have fun, we do sit down and talk abt life and stuffs.
And as suggested by another former.. don't go near anyone who does not want to wear a condom, be safe, shit happens.
What kind of things makes you have the urge. ?

Time of the month will make me have the urge. Anything can also make me have the urge, include during free time.
I am reli controlling not to think so much about it. Sometimes fail.

I will try to handle it.

Question - I see that some girls had high urge & some not (I belong to this group) ?

This post has been edited by XENIACLADY: Feb 12 2016, 11:26 AM

There are so many foreveralones in LYN esp /k. Why not make someones dream come true?

Sorry, don't intend to troll you. Just wanna lighten the mood

I believe finding male friends for a chat will keep your mind outta this and maybe help you find a boyfriend? Maybe the flirting corner will help?



This post has been edited by jdgobio: Feb 24 2016, 05:26 PM

practice a healthy life style, good exercise will help u

No it's not.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-...-dangerous-myth
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/09/s..._n_1335132.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/89958...-addiction.html

best advise I can give is to find the right guy. And to remind yourself that you still have some value of dignity.
As for the urges, if you dont like it, but its the only way to settle it temporarily. Masturbation.

Just be creative bout it. Once you have your first orgasm, those urges should subside.
Its the only solution if you still want to maintain some semblance of dignity.
If you dont want to do it that way, theres plenty of river to throw out those babies later on, and new abortion clinic keeps opening up all the time.

Good Luck controlling your urges.

one more advice that always works for me:

try to do something tiring but beneficial once u get these urges i.e. cooking, cleaning, running, working out.

once u get distracted and tired, the urges will disappear.

You need a funny guy to ease the tension.....I'm still single

u got that rite
anyway back to topic....y not get a sex toy or cucumber wrap in condom?if stil not enuf get a male underwear form neibour and sniff it while using that toy...

This post has been edited by tlts: Mar 3 2016, 04:50 PM

/ktards are reminded that they are not in /k.

Warnings/bora tickets will be given out.

girl are more horny than guys but maybe you are not capable or close they feel its not a need to tell you but just man are more open to express while women are not.

back to ts story. Ts try not to avoid it but once awhile of masterbation is very normal. The more you hold the urge the more you want it but you dont need ONS to satisfy your needs you can try phone sex as well.

I have a few female friends they masturbate once or twice weekly or sometimes 3 to 4 times on the same day.
without ONS so its practically normal. i know some women they dont like using their finger to masturbate instead you can buy some toys to help you.

thank you all for all the suggestions and comment. It has been some time that i dun think of these urge issue, and i dun even think of sex/masturbating because i am busy.

I find that my urge is only when i am very free and nothing better to do. When i am occupied with work/with frens, i dun even think about this urge.

Some forumers mentioned their female frens masturbate 3 to 4 times a day, it is quite a lot. No work to do? Lol.

Happy for you!

for me, if you have urges, it's normal..
Maybe you're still young, so you still have it,
I think you shouldn't feel so guilty after sexual intercourse..just don't do it too often and always practice safe sex

it is not wrong to make mistakes or two when you're young,
it is wrong when you make mistakes or two when you are old and have children you gotta be an example to.

I always go out and break some rules, I got into trouble few times but that's alright, things got fixed, I learned so many lessons..
Cause I know when I grow up to be a parent, I got to have all these unspeakable knowledge..haha

I have fail to control myself. I nearly 'did' it with a not so close fren. N i stop coz feeling so guilty, yes very high, but my guilt reli controlling me. I did ask him again to continue, but then i have to stop again, coz i feel it is so bad/dirty/naughty of me.

Not only i am incapable of controlling my ownself, i am feeling kind of useless coz flirting with him also. I know nothing wrong if i want it and just do it. The issue is i want it but at the same time, i cannot do it. That's the issue.

After we separate, i still feel the urge is so so strong. What is wrong with me? I am feeling frustrated of myself. It is like u want something, u can get it, but my feeling is very guilty/dirty/no dignity. N also worried about the consequences (pregnancy/STD).

I dun want ONS/FUBU/with a close or not close fren also i dun want. I dunno what i want also. It is so frustrating.

hey, just 2 make sure that I'm a male,..,but have you try meditation before??

my experience: usually i like 2 fap, well....not very hardcore because my frequency of doing it is nearly minimum of 3 times per week. I've seen friends do more than that ......but i feel guilty afterwards...

& what i did is i meditation, .....,just sit down & find a comfy quiet room & if you like, you can also use peaceful music 2 accompany your meditation......no need too much just 10-15mins per day enough

and i already success in stop fapping for 2 weeks in total, today is my 15th days of no masturbate, even with the presence of "hot video' shared by my friend....

try meditation,..., it really helps

Get some sex toys maybe?

if you really feel dirty having sex, I suggest you occupy yourself with activities throughout your day. Plan, plan, and plan your activities beforehand. You said it yourself when you are busy your urge will drop drastically. So, get busy.

Could it be because of your religion background that you feel that sex is dirty? Because like all the other forum members have said here, we are living in an age where sex is regarded as a normal activity (unfortunately). Just remember to play safe if you decide to do you, wouldn't want unwanted pregnancies and STD's etc.

If all these things don't work, perhaps a FUBU would be beneficial for you. Not ONS, those are too random and well, more dangerous. That's why FUBU culture exists, to help people like you to well, satisfy some aspects of their life, without the emotional attachment. Or better yet, find yourself an actual boyfriend. (I know it's been discussed previously but I'd like to remind you of the possibility).

Of course, I highly suggest occupying yourself with beneficial activities (i.e. Self improvement) before all the other suggestions.

I've been on a FUBU myself and apart from controlling your own emotional attachments, is pretty darn fun being able to call someone and just have sex. Not just cause I'm a guy, but it feels more like there is one aspect of your life that you don't have to worry about.

I am ok to masturbate. Just not ok if the urge is controlling me, and not the opposite way. It is getting uncontrollable nowadays. At first i am so confident that i can settle it. But actually up till now, i am still finding for solution, i unable settle this issue. The solution is with my mind and willpower, but easier said than done.

U meant vibrator? I bought vibrator before, but dun enjoy it. Other suggestion of sex toys?

Haha, the way u describe FUBU is like so funny. Call her and she appears and both of u did the 'business' and go separate way.
I know u suggesting me to be busy. I am a very busy person most of the time. But when i am free, i cannot just go on and on creating plans for myself just to avoid me from doing the wrong thing. I dun think it is a permanent solution. It is a good suggestion, just if i keep bz, but it just meant that i cannot control myself when i m free. I dun have a great willpower, no good discipline.

Get an actual bf? Well, i dun think i want find bf because i want to have sex. I think for now, I will follow Munkeyflo ways, just need to do some research on what toys to buy.

well....you say you OK with masturbate..... but i wonder whether which affect your control of your urge at the end of day: frequency of masturbate or types of toys??

maybe, just maybe if you try masturbate more when your urge is higher on certain days as in 2 "release' it,, then probably you'll be okay gua....

Well I guess it depends what really gets you off. Some are satisfied with just clitoral stimulation, some need more.

Get a few toys, I'm sure you know where to get there reliably by now. Try them out and see what you like.

You realize in your case Raymond in first page hit it on the spot.
It's not much physical, more like a psychological thing. I know a few girls like you, the way everyone cope is different. It's all about reconciliation isn't it, but quite impossible for you. So next would be compartmentalization.

ts need to stop watching korean drama

hit the gym during your free time, I am sure you will be too tired to think about sex after that