QUOTE(abubin @ Oct 6 2010, 11:52 AM)
Hi,
I have had some friend or people surrounding me that have babies and kids. I can see the trend of young parents nowadays are very careful with their child.
Let's take one of this friend I have for example. On her first child, she is really kiasu with everything. Any negative things she hear from a friend, she will avoid. Like example, drinking coffee is not good for the child..she like coffee but during her pregnancy did not drink a SINGLE DROP. Compared to someone else who drank liquor and smoke during pregnancy and baby came out fine. Even during breastfeeding years, she did not drink any coffee.
Another example is shaving baby's hair. Normally, a lot of parents shave their baby's hair because those inborn hair are ugly and scarce. I know chinese and indians have the tradition of shaving baby's hair. But this friend heard about other friend's baby hair not growing after shaving until like 3-4 years old. So, she so scared that she refuse to shave the baby's hair despite it look ugly. Looks like those people with hairloss problem. Well, if you research properly, the hair growth is just depends on the baby or toddler itself. It will eventually grow and shaving them or not does not cause it not to grow. But you know...kiasu mom want's THE BEST for the child.
So I am asking you parents, are you really that kiasu when it comes to your child? Such that you cannot think straight and fear this and fear that?
Why do you want to hear all those horror stories from a friend and then being so scared about them?
Personally, I think there should be a balance between protecting your child and letting them to their own devices. You cannot be there forever with your child. You must eventually let them face the outside world alone. Doing too much precautionary will only make it worst when your child need to face the real world. And fearing about every horror stories that come your way is just too much. You were given education and wisdom. Use them wisely instead of doing things like a robot programmed to only give BEST to the child.
Well so then there are people saying sending the children to government school is not doing good, so I assume your friend will not send them to government school? Or is she not going to let the child to learn walking too because got infant fall down and died oh
Anyway, that's seriously overreacted la. I'm a bit lazy to quote all and reply to all, but these kind of actions just too extreme, when it's too extreme it never does good. In fact I'm going to pity that poor child for being over protected and I doubt in future the child is able to enjoy much about life, because everything also can be negative when it comes to the mother's hand. There are a lot of pantang this and pantang that but it depends on your families' believes, as well genetic. Some of that you can just dump it aside but for a child's growth, there's certain thing that you can't be too overreacted towards it. As for like Dreamer's case, that's alright because he has the family record there. As being a good mother (no such thing as best la), check out the family history first. Find out in details about parenting properly and professionally but not listen to aunties talk BLINDLY. *I'm not saying aunties' talks are useless but some of them just can't be convinced.
If really wanting the safe parenting for the children, then search for magazines, do a lot of research, join up some parents group/society to understand different needs of the children, but bare in mind, never ever compare. I know a lot of parents say they are not comparing but turn around they compare like hell just because they listen too many stories around then they are putting the superman uniform on their children shoulder without thinking straight
Always KIASU parents think they are giving the BEST for their children but they don't know their KIASU attitude is actually contributing the WORST for their children.
P/S, Yes I'm not a parent myself but I've been in this line dealing with young children and parents for more than 6 years, with my researches done as well qualification, I think I can say a word or two in here.
Oct 17 2010, 10:35 PM
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