Google up alcohol and breastfeeding

I mean, if someone is THAT concerned about caffeine ..

Not sure is kiasu or what but when I was pregnant, my mother in law say cannot drink coffee or anything dark or black. So, as respect to the elders I listened. Plus I dont like coffee anyway. So I didnt drink any single drop. About shaving hair, my baby was born with nice hair. We didn't shave his hair, until he is one or two years old we only cut his hair because it's hot weather and his hair is kinda long with a tail behind. hahaha

As parents, you will feel defensive towards your own kids. Trust me, now you say balance it. But then comes to it later, you will do the same. Everyone want the best for our kids. In any ways we can fight for it

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Added on October 8, 2010, 11:23 ambut i got senyap2 drink one or two sip coke n cold drinks xD i said baby want it. hahahaha it was hot weather wei~

This post has been edited by Celest-Lee: Oct 8 2010, 11:23 AM

I did but could find any conclusive evidence on drinking a small glass of wine for 'heat' during confinement. Mostly it is about high level of alcohol and the extreme alcoholism. But drinking a small glass of wine for 'heat' during confinement?
Most of these wine the alcohol content is about 14% and recommended intake is 20ml. So far, there is no conclusive evidence of detrimental to your baby's health if you're breastfeeding.
Confused la, so how?

Stupid kiasu parents might have their reasons. Abubin, you maybe judge people too harshly before even understanding their situation. What if the parents have traumatic miscarriage before? What if the parents have problematic pregnancy? What if the mother's body is not as strong as others? What if the mother develops diabetes due to pregnancy? Or any type of complicacy? Of course they will be phobia and try their ever BEST to protect the baby.

But yes, to an external who do not know the real reasons, it might deem to be overproctective.

Of course you cannot group all parents as healthy, caffeine tolerant, etc, right?

And another reason, Mothers will be blame (especially in Asian community) if babies do not turn out right.

This post has been edited by Escudo: Oct 12 2010, 09:46 AM

Some of the friends I mentioned, I did not judge harshly. This is someone I know well that did not have miscarriage nor problematic pregnancy. Also a very strong mother (physically). Isn't too harsh not to drink a single drop of your favorite beverage or cold water. Okay maybe we talk about something that makes more common sense like cutting hair. The parent did not want to cut the toddler's hair because she heard a friend saying the baby's hair did not grow back and they were worried and all. However, there are even more friends who said they did shave the baby's hair and they grew back no problem and not to worry. So, this parent decided not to shave their toddler's hair. Not even trim it a little. So, the baby grew up 2-3 years with hair that looks like beggar. So now...the parent think they are doing the best for their child. Is that really the best? What I am saying is, use your common sense when dealing with your child. Don't just listen to some hearsay and follow blindly. Being able to take things with a grain of salt and think them through goes a long way being a good parent for your child.

If KIASU parenting, I think people should be more worried about hired-help these days like caretakers, maids, etc.
With all the horror videos on how these domestic care takers, one should really be worried about the safety of their infant.
The cases may be few and far in between but one may never know.. better be safe than sorry.

http://www.slate.com/id/2151538/

Folks,

Let's talk about one of the MOST DANGEROUS item to your baby: TV. How much TV do the toddler aka (below 6 years old) watch??

Your story or background might be different from mine.

1) I have 50 to 60 cousins. And, I am the youngest among my cousins. So, they all have children way before me.

2) Both my side and my wife side family have many children with various degree of autism.

3) In almost all of those cases, the babies spent a lot of their childhood aka before 6 years old with TV.

4) Both parents are TOO BUSY with work and social life. So, the children are left with maids and grandparents. Grandparents are TOO OLD to play with children. So, they let the toddler play unlimited computer and watch unlimited TV.

Facing with those histories, we decided

1) When we have children, one of us will stay home and take care of the babies.

2) The other will earn enough to support the whole family.

3) We will stop watching TV all together.

4) We may watch VCR or DVD or documentary but limit to 1/2 hour per day for the children and the parent.

5) Ditto on computer time for children.

6) We will spend time playing with the children.

So, am I KIASU or just acting as a responsible parent??

Now, how many parents watch over how much time that their babies spent on TV or computer??

Dreamer

To me, that's not kiasu parenting.


This however...

Haiz. What can I say. I believe that kids learn best from playing. I don't believe in pre-preschool and all that crap. And I certainly don't believe in pushing my child academically to compete with others or be ahead of the game. Of course I want the best for my kids, I just don't think enrolling my kids in a rote-learning math centre is the best for any child.

I bet to differ.

Watching TVs, a child can learn a lot of things otherwise that need to be spoon fed by parents. IF you have that much time and patience to teach your child that then it's fine. But letting the child watch "controlled" TV programs are a very good way to make the child's brain function more efficiently. Majority of kids grew up watching TVs and how many of them are "screw up"? If that's what you think the effects of TV. I know people who are not allowed to watch TV and they are same type of people like my other friends who grew up watching TVs. They are not a better person compared to a friends who grew up in the slums. Nor are they more successful than a person who grew up with lots of freedom to do whatever he/she want.

You just don't let the kids watch programs meant for adults or more mature audience will do. No need to be so extreme. Don't let them watch cartoons like tom and jerry type also. These are actually very violent programs that I personally think teaches kids about violence. However, having said that..wait till you child go to school. They will learn all sorts of shitz. You cannot control you child every minute.

Same things to playing games. I play a lot of games. I know what are games all about. So I let my child play games meant for their level. I will explain to them when some games have violence. Won't let them play games with too much violence or adult violence. This is a very good way to stimulate their brain to think. Ways to solve puzzles and how to think out of the box. Parents who do not play games will not understand this. They will be like majority of the public who do not play games think games bad. They read about 1 or 2 cases of kids dying of overdosed of games and think games are bad.

Games or TVs or other form of entertainment, they are all fine as long as your kid is not obsessed over it.

Here is again, a typical example on how parenting is about. At least for me. No just overdoing things. You think and you apply with a dose of intelligence into them. Not just categorizing things into "Bad" and then totally shut it out of your child. Cause I do believe that curiosity killed the cat and kids by nature is very curious about everything. You think you are being responsible parent for not letting you child do something you think that is BAD? Something like TV, have good and bad. By shutting them out completely you think you are doing your child good? I think it is just being lazy parenting. It's easier to just say NO to something than teaching them about it and giving them moderate access.

I also believe that kids who are exposed to more of these "bad influences" tend to be more creative than those who live the life of no TV, no games, monday piano lesson, tuesday dancing lesson, wednesday math lesson....

I grew up watching lots and lots of TVs. I am now an adult who doesnt watch much.

Games are good in my books. TVs on the other hand...

http://www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.as...ADHD%20Toddlers

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/yourbaby/a/babiesandtv.htm

abubin,

Is it an opinion or researched facts??

As per research done in USA, they found link between AD and toddler TV watching.

Dreamer

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Added on October 13, 2010, 7:04 pmSyd G,

1) Do your family history include may children with autism??

2) Incident of autism are 20 times more likely in male versus female.

MY POINT is dependent family history, each one of us has to handle our children differently..

Dreamer

This post has been edited by dreamer101: Oct 13 2010, 07:04 PM

If you read the subtle hints, I was actually agreeing to what you said

I ended up being overstimulated by TV, having short attention span and living life as if it's on autopilot. Sure, I was one of the smartest kids in class when I was younger but the other effects were much greater....

overprotecting mom = noob child

look at kids and teenagers nowadays ... I wonder how they survive in real world.

a life that tailored by mom... i cannot imagine yo..

This is from my personal experience.

First, you cannot believe everything you read on the internet. Again, I repeat, all parents should think about things they read or hear. Consider about the facts and apply them with common sense.

Second, I did not say let them watch everything. I did mention about not letting them watch violent cartoons. Instead of generalizing...TV = bad = ban. That is too extreme. I never allow my kids to watch violent cartoons...those warner bros and simpsons and so on.

Third, the facts about ADHD is not entirely correct. I should know because I have done a lot of research on ADHD. My son is diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome by professional psychiatrist. He did not watch that much TVs. Plus, experts do not know exactly how ADHD developed. It is also said that ADHD is born with the baby. Not like a disease that you can get "infected" if you did something wrong. Eg, exposing them to TVs. ADHD does not get triggered. It is there all the time. Some people said certain food can trigger hyperactivity. That is ADD. And so far only food are known to trigger hyperactivity. TV? Absurd. There is not such things as ADHD only appearing at certain age. Like I said, you either get it or not. The reason they mention about such age is because ADD/ADHD can only be diagnosed correctly at the age of 5 and above. Sometimes toddlers below 5 may seems like having ADHD but actually it is not.

I want to say this again. Use common sense when bringing up your child. This is what separate us apart from animals.

abubin,

<<My son is diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome by professional psychiatrist. He did not watch that much TVs.>>

How much is TOO MUCH??

My apology if I offended you. I am trying to save as many parents from the EVIL of TV as possible.

<<I did mention about not letting them watch violent cartoons.>>

If you read the article, it has NOTHING to do with the content of the TV. The TV screen just change too fast for toddler to grasp. That shape and change their brain.

<<This is from my personal experience.>>

Ditto on my side... With a larger sample size.

Yes, there is a genetic portion of that. And, my family on both my wife and my side has many children with ADHD/Asperger/Autism.

But, that is MY POINT. If a person has family history on both his side and his wife side has many children with that kind of genetic disease plus he had observed FIRST HAND that many of those children watched TV and played computer too much, won't the person as a GOOD RESPONSIBLE PARENT take precaution??

BTW, I babysat many of my nephew including those are autistic. Many of them are fine and normal until 5 to 6 years old.

One of my nephew used to live together with us. When he was young, he was fine. Then, the parent move away and leave the kid with maid and TV most of the time from age 3 to 5. Then, he became autistic.

I have much more FIRST HAND experience on this as compare to most people. I had spent 30+ years taking care of children...

Dreamer

P.S.: I am slightly autistic too.

This post has been edited by dreamer101: Oct 14 2010, 07:22 PM

Adding the time he watches TV per day, I estimate it to be less than 2 hours per day. Cause he prefer to play with his toys. Maybe watch it when there are some nice commercials.

Most of the times when I am watching my shows like axn series or discovery channel, he won't even watch. Unlike my other kid who watches more TV than him and she is NORMAL.

Therefore, my conclusion is austism or adhd has nothing to do with TVs. The tv might have some effects on them but nothing significant.

And TV being bad influence..definitely up to the parents to control what sort of TV programs to allow their normal or special child to watch. Like everything else, there are good and bad in everything. You don't just ignore it's good and ban it totally. Like I said, being a responsible parent is teaching your child about getting good out of the pool of goods and bads.

You were saying how you grow up taking care of child who watches TV and play games. Are those done without supervision? Of course that will be bad. Some parents just don't care. They buy a console and just throw in a pile of games at their child hoping that the kid will leave them alone. So when the kid turned out bad, they blame it on the games. The kid learned something bad from TV..blame it on the TV. Then TV=bad, Games=bad.

One of my child already schooling. The things she learn from school is ten times worst than TVs. Cause there are all these kids who learned all the bad stuffs from TV spreading all the bad influences on your child. This is indirectly from too much unadulterated TV. Can you control that? Can you control who your child can talk to in school?

abubin,

1) You have a DAUGHTER. Am I correct?? Male child is 20 times more likely to be autistic than female. Incident of autism on girl is VERY RARE.

2) Read the research articles again. We are talking about TODDLERS aka below 6 years old. So, sending toddler to daycare center with TV on all the time may not be good either...

3) In my research and first hand observation, most incident and manifestation of AUTISM occurred before 6 years old.

<<You don't just ignore it's good and ban it totally. Like I said, being a responsible parent is teaching your child about getting good out of the pool of goods and bads. >>

3) Why waste time watching TV when you can play or read books??

4) TV is BAD. It is PASSIVE. It is a WASTE of time... It does not encourages ACTIVE THINKING and LEARNING.

Dreamer

1) who said my daughter have autism? My son is the one with autism. And I know girls rarely have autism. Doesn't mean there aren't any. And I had my kid diagnosed by a professional psychiatrist. As in paid money (not cheap) to have it done.

2) toddlers below 6 or above 6. Does it matter? Autism does not go away or can be cured. It is just because autism is easier to diagnose when a child is 5 and above. Because they can check on things the normal child should be able to do at 5 and above. Then compare it with an autistic child.

Day care center and TV? I did mention about unadulterated TV is bad. I didn't say "let the child watch all the TV he/she wants".

3) Your research is flawed. Autism doesn't manifest. It is just there. The child is born with it. Just that like I said, you can see it sort of manifest with a toddler above 5 because you start to notice development of the child is slower than normal. I do not know what your "first hand observation" means.

I think you know autism have a wide spectrum of symptoms. Some kids have only mild autism and they will eventually outgrown it. But the austism is still there. They just learned how to deal with it. More serious case of autism will never be outgrown like forrest gump.

3) yes playing and reading books are good too. So is good TV programs. Wait..books are bad..comics are violent. Pr0n books are bad. So, should I ban books?

4) TV does not encourage active thinking and learning huh? Well, they should stop making programs like math mansion or dora the exploer. Ah..I must have wasted all my years watching discovery channels and discovery science. All those stuffs I learn about the world, the people and human evolution are all useless. Passive waste of time.

I guess my toddler did not learn ABC or vocabulary from TV. Did not learn how to sing from purple dinosaur barney. I guess learn to sing from books or radio is better. More exciting. ooooohh...

What's the difference between letting your toddler watch a TV program teaching about ABC and giving him/her a book about ABC? I guess they won't pickup anything from TV ABC cause picture flashes too fast?

Well whatever works for you. You don't want your kids to watch any TVs, it is your style. I am totally fine. But condemning something that clearly have it's value as totally useless is just being ignorant. Just like people who does not play games and they blame games are bad. They just played something like solitaire and then think that they know what are games. Maybe you want to say games does not promote active thinking and learning...

This post has been edited by abubin: Oct 16 2010, 12:48 AM

Although I'm no parent, I must say I agree with you that dreamer101 is very opinionated. My family wasn't very well off when I was very young and our home wasn't exactly situated in proper housing areas with public facilities like libraries and bus stops (at least back in the 80s). The only access, I had to information and knowledge, was through documentaries on RTM's channels.

Nothing wrong with being responsible and protective of your kids. How is being less protective measured? I frankly don't know

Dreamer101 thinks any TV is bad for the kids and you(abubin) think it's ok to watch with moderation. John's kids can watch anything on TV. Now John thinks both of you are 'kiasu' parents.


If she's willing to do it why not? Who is going to be responsible if something should happen to the baby as a result of drinking coffee? I would give the same advice to her, although some people may boast of having a few cups a day and nothing happened to the baby. It's BEST to avoid. uh oh now I feel the 'kiasuness' in me.

She probably need someone like you to convince her, point her to some reading materials/books/mag or better yet maybe she can ask the doctor on her next visit.