Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 Kiasu parenting or just being safe?

views
     
dreamer101
post Oct 13 2010, 08:50 AM

10k Club
Group Icon
Elite
15,855 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
http://www.slate.com/id/2151538/

Folks,

Let's talk about one of the MOST DANGEROUS item to your baby: TV. How much TV do the toddler aka (below 6 years old) watch??

Your story or background might be different from mine.

1) I have 50 to 60 cousins. And, I am the youngest among my cousins. So, they all have children way before me.

2) Both my side and my wife side family have many children with various degree of autism.

3) In almost all of those cases, the babies spent a lot of their childhood aka before 6 years old with TV.

4) Both parents are TOO BUSY with work and social life. So, the children are left with maids and grandparents. Grandparents are TOO OLD to play with children. So, they let the toddler play unlimited computer and watch unlimited TV.

Facing with those histories, we decided

1) When we have children, one of us will stay home and take care of the babies.

2) The other will earn enough to support the whole family.

3) We will stop watching TV all together.

4) We may watch VCR or DVD or documentary but limit to 1/2 hour per day for the children and the parent.

5) Ditto on computer time for children.

6) We will spend time playing with the children.

So, am I KIASU or just acting as a responsible parent??

Now, how many parents watch over how much time that their babies spent on TV or computer??

Dreamer
dreamer101
post Oct 13 2010, 07:01 PM

10k Club
Group Icon
Elite
15,855 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
QUOTE(abubin @ Oct 13 2010, 04:15 PM)
I bet to differ.


*
http://www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.as...ADHD%20Toddlers

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/yourbaby/a/babiesandtv.htm

abubin,

Is it an opinion or researched facts??

As per research done in USA, they found link between AD and toddler TV watching.

Dreamer


Added on October 13, 2010, 7:04 pm
QUOTE(Syd G @ Oct 13 2010, 04:31 PM)
I grew up watching lots and lots of TVs. I am now an adult who doesnt watch much.

Games are good in my books. TVs on the other hand...
*
Syd G,

1) Do your family history include may children with autism??

2) Incident of autism are 20 times more likely in male versus female.

MY POINT is dependent family history, each one of us has to handle our children differently..

Dreamer

This post has been edited by dreamer101: Oct 13 2010, 07:04 PM
dreamer101
post Oct 14 2010, 07:01 PM

10k Club
Group Icon
Elite
15,855 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
QUOTE(abubin @ Oct 14 2010, 12:12 PM)
This is from my personal experience.

First, you cannot believe everything you read on the internet. Again, I repeat, all parents should think about things they read or hear. Consider about the facts and apply them with common sense.

Second, I did not say let them watch everything. I did mention about not letting them watch violent cartoons. Instead of generalizing...TV = bad = ban. That is too extreme. I never allow my kids to watch violent cartoons...those warner bros and simpsons and so on.

Third, the facts about ADHD is not entirely correct. I should know because I have done a lot of research on ADHD. My son is diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome by professional psychiatrist. He did not watch that much TVs. Plus, experts do not know exactly how ADHD developed. It is also said that ADHD is born with the baby. Not like a disease that you can get "infected" if you did something wrong. Eg, exposing them to TVs. ADHD does not get triggered. It is there all the time. Some people said certain food can trigger hyperactivity. That is ADD. And so far only food are known to trigger hyperactivity. TV? Absurd. There is not such things as ADHD only appearing at certain age. Like I said, you either get it or not. The reason they mention about such age is because ADD/ADHD can only be diagnosed correctly at the age of 5 and above. Sometimes toddlers below 5 may seems like having ADHD but actually it is not.

I want to say this again. Use common sense when bringing up your child. This is what separate us apart from animals.
*
abubin,

<<My son is diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome by professional psychiatrist. He did not watch that much TVs.>>

How much is TOO MUCH??

My apology if I offended you. I am trying to save as many parents from the EVIL of TV as possible.

<<I did mention about not letting them watch violent cartoons.>>

If you read the article, it has NOTHING to do with the content of the TV. The TV screen just change too fast for toddler to grasp. That shape and change their brain.

<<This is from my personal experience.>>

Ditto on my side... With a larger sample size.

Yes, there is a genetic portion of that. And, my family on both my wife and my side has many children with ADHD/Asperger/Autism.

But, that is MY POINT. If a person has family history on both his side and his wife side has many children with that kind of genetic disease plus he had observed FIRST HAND that many of those children watched TV and played computer too much, won't the person as a GOOD RESPONSIBLE PARENT take precaution??

BTW, I babysat many of my nephew including those are autistic. Many of them are fine and normal until 5 to 6 years old.

One of my nephew used to live together with us. When he was young, he was fine. Then, the parent move away and leave the kid with maid and TV most of the time from age 3 to 5. Then, he became autistic.

I have much more FIRST HAND experience on this as compare to most people. I had spent 30+ years taking care of children...

Dreamer

P.S.: I am slightly autistic too.

This post has been edited by dreamer101: Oct 14 2010, 07:22 PM
dreamer101
post Oct 15 2010, 07:34 PM

10k Club
Group Icon
Elite
15,855 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
QUOTE(abubin @ Oct 15 2010, 01:34 PM)
Adding the time he watches TV per day, I estimate it to be less than 2 hours per day. Cause he prefer to play with his toys. Maybe watch it when there are some nice commercials.

Most of the times when I am watching my shows like axn series or discovery channel, he won't even watch. Unlike my other kid who watches more TV than him and she is NORMAL.

Therefore, my conclusion is austism or adhd has nothing to do with TVs. The tv might have some effects on them but nothing significant.

And TV being bad influence..definitely up to the parents to control what sort of TV programs to allow their normal or special child to watch. Like everything else, there are good and bad in everything. You don't just ignore it's good and ban it totally. Like I said, being a responsible parent is teaching your child about getting good out of the pool of goods and bads.

You were saying how you grow up taking care of child who watches TV and play games. Are those done without supervision? Of course that will be bad. Some parents just don't care. They buy a console and just throw in a pile of games at their child hoping that the kid will leave them alone. So when the kid turned out bad, they blame it on the games. The kid learned something bad from TV..blame it on the TV. Then TV=bad, Games=bad.

One of my child already schooling. The things she learn from school is ten times worst than TVs. Cause there are all these kids who learned all the bad stuffs from TV spreading all the bad influences on your child. This is indirectly from too much unadulterated TV. Can you control that? Can you control who your child can talk to in school?
*
abubin,

1) You have a DAUGHTER. Am I correct?? Male child is 20 times more likely to be autistic than female. Incident of autism on girl is VERY RARE.

2) Read the research articles again. We are talking about TODDLERS aka below 6 years old. So, sending toddler to daycare center with TV on all the time may not be good either...

3) In my research and first hand observation, most incident and manifestation of AUTISM occurred before 6 years old.

<<You don't just ignore it's good and ban it totally. Like I said, being a responsible parent is teaching your child about getting good out of the pool of goods and bads. >>

3) Why waste time watching TV when you can play or read books??

4) TV is BAD. It is PASSIVE. It is a WASTE of time... It does not encourages ACTIVE THINKING and LEARNING.

Dreamer
dreamer101
post Oct 17 2010, 11:22 PM

10k Club
Group Icon
Elite
15,855 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
Folks,

Many people miss MY POINT totally. Every families is different. Dependent on biological and genetic make out of your family, your children may be more susceptible to something.

Let's take a SIMPLE EXAMPLE. Let's say both you and your wife side biological families has many children are allergic to peanut. Would you be EXTRA CAREFUL in at least test out your baby before feeding your baby with any peanut based food??

That is NOT Kiasu. It is GOOD and RESPONSIBLE parenting...

Both me and my wife's families has many children with autism and ADHD associated diseases. So, we have the genes. I am slightly autistic too. So, we are EXTRA CAREFUL on making sure that our babies do not watch TV. Watching too much TV may not matter to NORMAL babies. But, we are NOT normal. This is RESPONSIBLE parenthood.

Nobody is NORMAL. We need to check out our genetic and biological history. Looking through you and your wife family's history and you will find what kind of disease and problem that your babies most likely to have.

Dreamer


 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0170sec    0.45    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 25th November 2025 - 06:30 PM