She isn't what you've describe.She's really helpful and she helps pay for her family expenses,her younger sister's tuition fees, packs food for her family.She's really someone I admire.She's also really supportive and she always motivates me to strive for the better.I see her as someone special and I hope to give her a better life in any way I can.But of course saying all this without any action is meaningless so now my priority is to come home and attend my job interviews.From then on , only I can talk.

This post has been edited by Nemesis181188: Jul 5 2010, 08:18 AM

why does your girlfriend not having a degree mean that your life won't be comfortable? Isn't that what YOUR OWN DEGREE is for? why does she have to have one so that YOU are comfortable?

it doesn't matter. even if you're smart enough to get IN to Harvard, you were obviously too dumb to stay in - so even if you can say you got into Harvard, where is your degree? TARAK? Don't bullshit me then, Harvard shmarvard.

Marrying is not about connecting two families - that is the side effect. Marriage is about being with the one you love for the rest of your life. You're obviously not married.

Maybe the parents are wishing for bright daughter-in-laws for very smart cucu.

Normally I advocate family blessings and all but I don't suffer fools and blatant hypocrites. So I'm gonna tell you a story bout my spineless idiot of a friend.

Like you(and from Johor), his parents doesn't like his gf but he went on marrying her when his parent said they'll try to warm up and accept her. 6 months later, they filed for divorce cos he said his wife is having an affair. His source of info: his parents, claimed to be from a PI they hired. PI turns out to be kopitiam apek. Kopitiam apek saw her walking to lunch with another man. Kopitiam apek left out the part he saw other colleagues walking behind them. But kopitiam apek is not the culprit cos parents tokok tambah saying than she was disrespectful to family altar, and craps like these including refusal to do household chores. The chores she refused was to wash all 4 bathrooms everyday despite working fulltime. Did I mention washing undergarments of his sisters? He's now bloody miserable and stalking his ex wife.

Moral of the story: parents like these will do anything to be rid of your wife of not their choice. When you marry your gf, move far away from them. My inside scope is from my friend's mom. She complaint to me bout the girl and told me she has everything planned. Which I hear bout her victory 3 months later. Your parents are selfish but they're not aware of it. They want what they want rather than what their son wants. Because you have a degree, your parents are more ready to accept dry facts than emotional logic. Don't get emotional when discussing bout this matter. Emotionally, your parent still sees as a boy unable to make the right choices, so they should do what it takes to 'protect' you. They only want the best for you. So be gentle. Emotional outburst will make things worse. Shown them that you're an adult now.

This post has been edited by BlurSotong: Jul 5 2010, 09:00 AM

at the same time though, his parents should at least try. it's just a degree, why would it be so crucial to a marriage? I hate it when parents think like this. TS, do your parents both have degrees?

Also, you've only been with her for a year ... marriage should still be a distant thing, though a thought.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Jul 5 2010, 08:57 AM

win

Hehe, first year is the honeymoon year afterall.


TS, gently introduce modern ideas into their traditional ones. Old dogs with new tricks. So be gentle.

cant say the parents selfish lar. after all the hardship bringin the son, put him thro uni, no easy leh.

they wish the best for the son.

dis doesn't giv dem the rights to control everything bout the son/daughter.

its ur girlfriend..not others...
just ignore what other people said
as long as u happy..just continue ur relationship

@berry Yes both my parents have degrees as both of them met in Canada.

@blursotong Yup I did try doing that but it's not easy to get the ideas through them and yes my mom says so as long I'm still under their roof I'm still a boy sigh.I've argued with my parents once about this matter as they brought it up and they said that I won't care for them and I care for my gf more etc etc which really hurts me.Sigh

@animeme Yes you are right so as long that I don't neglect my career.My personal relationship should be my own concern.When I was in Malaysia , I still spend time with my family especially during the weekends as I don't want to neglect them as well and that's when I was dating my gf.

@idayat Thanks so much for you support

This post has been edited by Nemesis181188: Jul 5 2010, 09:33 AM

One advice... if u wanna be good son..... then better find a future wife that ur mum like very much....

Else, show ur devil to ur mum only if u dare like me...

Haha its' not like I want to show my devil or anything but I just wish to stand my ground and it's still too early to be talking about marriage at my age as I am not financially stable yet.

This post has been edited by Nemesis181188: Jul 5 2010, 09:35 AM

I'm saying they're not aware of it. Parents wants the best for their children, as of TS parents. so much so that they need their children's view and decision parallel with theirs because they think they're right. That much is given. What the parents don't see is their children is if their children is mature enough to decide something to the point that parents impose what is right and wrong and ironically, petulantly demands their children to comply with their wishes.

My train of thought is all tangled. I'm pretty sure the points in paragraph above is not harmoniously delivering what I wanna say. So pls get the points and not discuss bout my point transitions. thanks

i met one aunty who loves the in-laws so deary dat everyone got to wait for her b4 get-together meals can start.(they always laugh, talk and joke together)

then one day dun know why hor, they quarrel until now they nvr visit, talk to each other liao.

the son and cucu nvr pay any visit to the parents. its been more than a decade.

so who knows the future?

This post has been edited by animeme: Jul 5 2010, 09:37 AM

What so wrong with doesn't have a degree?
Now it's your job to prove to your parent that you can generate enough income to cover both of your lifestyle (don't forget your parent expenses as well) if you really love that girl.

Please do something right now.

Yes I am currently improving my chances for better job offers.I'm still at overseas waiting for my graduation ceremony and only be back next month.Once I'm back I'll have to go down to Johor to attend my interview and as for others they're in KL so they're not much of a problem.

This post has been edited by Nemesis181188: Jul 5 2010, 09:47 AM

haha, Alright, I have been in your shoes. Ahahahahaha, it worked for me so you can try. What I did was calmly talk to my parents over the table like how I would talk to superiors at work. Firmly, respectfully, don't openly challenged their 'supreme parental authority' but like a confused kid... Why this and that in curious-like manner and not fire points like I'm bashing some idiots at work. In short, make the whole 'my boy all grown up' in fastforwarded 1hr. You're their son, so worming your way into having what you want is key to acceptance. Hehehehehehe, I feel sinister now.

---

Added on July 5, 2010, 9:51 amLike how you used to get your parents to buy you some kickass toy at the store.

This post has been edited by BlurSotong: Jul 5 2010, 09:51 AM

Haha yup that's what I plan to do when I'm back home.Probably talk to them nicely over dinner at home about it.I have tried that on skype that time as they brought the matter up and I really did get a nice scolding from both of them.My dad didn't gave me a chance to say anything as he kept scolding scolding saying the same thing over and over again " All I wanted to say was how can you judge a person like that when you haven't even met her and he said he doesn't want to meet her.He said he'll be very stubborn etc etc(really childish sometimes I would say sigh but still he's my dad) as for my mom she was also adding more oil to the fire as she was sitting beside my dad.

Haha I guess I was pampered quite alot last time too since I'm the eldest but I remembered once I got caned for crying cause I wanted a computer when I was 9 hahaha.Actually come to think of it I got caned alot haha but I was trained to do housework too so I guess it's good training but my parents still got me the toys I wanted haha.

This post has been edited by Nemesis181188: Jul 5 2010, 09:59 AM

wow,u got same situation like me man~
my ex-gf's mom dun like me cuz i dun have a digree/diploma at all while my ex-having diploma n taking higher diploma now~
she hated me so much wen she got my background tat i dun have any cert at all n jus got my lousy spm cert~
but i'm working on myself on my own business rather than jus worling for ppl~
hahahahaaa~
anyway it's up to u if u can endur d pain thru out d relationship wit her from ur parents,while i've suffer d pain for 2 1/2yrs from her parent's rejection from 1st day till v broke up~