QUOTE(mcken @ Apr 19 2013, 10:03 AM)
The reason they build more n more 3 storeys now is because in the future our children can stay with us after they got married as it will be very difficult for them to purchase a house not to mention a landed in the future. But not many can afford it now also...

The reality is very different. If we can go back to the extended family of the olden days it's good bcs the extended family helps bring up the children. Even the community helps keep an eye on the children. The cons are that some kids get sexually abused by members of the extended family (esp today when society has become so sick with the easy availability of porn online and whatnot,not that it never happened in the past).
I'm just being realistic,not pessimistic bcs I know for a fact the sons will not want to stay after marriage bcs their wives want to be in charge. If they continue to stay with the man's family the matriarch will continue to hold "power". Women are different from us. Most like to be in control of everything LOL. They would never allow their daughters-in-law to take charge so there could be tension if the daughters-in-law are highly educated and hold power-jobs. Our moms and grandmas belong to the subservient generation. Even our wives would clash with their mothers-in-law. Then there are those who just concentrate on their power-jobs and push their kids to the poor old couple.
Your sons might encourage you to buy or build big and say they will want to stay with you after marriage. Probe further and you'll find they actually meant come back on certain weekends only LOL. In a way it's also good bcs if they stay the price to pay could be heavy on the old couple.
Also what if all the married children expect the old man to foot all the bills? I don't think I will be a sucker to pay a heavy down-payment and high monthly instalments for the house and then have to tanggung them after they become financially independent. If such a house is bought the children must be co-owners and help the dad pay the down-payment and monthly instalments. Lots of parents don't kira with their kids (the crux of a lot of old people's woes lies in this fact) so some kids take things for granted or take advantage of their old man. They continue to let the father pay for all the food and utilities as long as the old man is still working and many old men continue running their businesses into old age.
I have seen so many such cases bcs today's young people are so selfish. They want to enjoy the good things in life as soon as possible. What about the old folks? Should they die without enjoying any travels or holidays? So after starting work the kids stay free,eat free and after they marry they continue to sponge on the old man and even expect the mother to take care of their children like she's the maid! I know of young people who think their parents should be there for them all the time. Like the old couple can't have a life to enjoy.
Once I had wanted to treat an old couple who had been good to me when I was a very young upstart.
Their daughter asked why. I said no reason. I just want to treat them to lunch.
She didn't like it bcs she wanted them to babysit her two young kids. Imagine the kind of selfishness. In the end the two kids tagged along so the lunch became a baby-sitting session instead of an enjoyable outing! From that experience and observation my conclusion is to live for yourself after you've done your duty and just help out in emergencies and not to allow yourself to become a sucker to today's selfish/uncaring Y generation. Never unwittingly allow yourselves to become the unpaid maids looking after their precious children. We can bring them up the best we know how,teaching them all the traditional stuff but they are surrounded by the mass-media and peer group that subscribe to narcissism and the promotion of self over everything else. It's not a fallacy that many children give their own kids the best and their parents the cheapest. After a lot of thought I conclude that when we grow old we cannot depend on our kids to feed us. Even our parents had a tough time. Our grandparents were luckier.
This post has been edited by TheOwl: Apr 19 2013, 12:26 PM