Trust certainly is....but how many know how to be responsible over it? John Gray failed to write about this part properly.

Yes a crack will lead to break sooner later. But as much as we know how crack leads to a break, at that moment also the person must know how to patch things up again. A relationship with scars (given that both are still together) actually is a strong relationship because it shows how both willing to patch or forgive their partner's mistake through love (this is just part of the phase in the rebuilding process)

If there are one person out there telling me, how a relationship should be based on trust to be strong, i'm going to tell the naive person, as much as we need trust to build a relationship, lies as well, plays a huge role in rebuilding the relationship. A scar-less relationship is non-existence in this universe. Its the scars that actually determine a person's love. So learn forgive and let go. If you want to judge your partner incapabilities, look throughly in ourselves whether are we incapable to forgive them or not.

As much as i trust my partner, the most important virtue that will test any form of relationship is faith. So show some unwavering faith to your belief or trust in your partner.

woops,i thought this is kopitiam.

ignore this post

This post has been edited by tetsuhighrose: Jul 31 2008, 01:57 PM

well, some lies are good, some lies are bad, you can keep those good intentions for lying out of the bag, but hiding those bad intentions are...kinda off limits if one were having a plot to severe something

forgiveness in a relationship is also very important, i mean, as i said many times, who doesn't make mistakes in a relationship...=)
as long as one knows how to apologize sincerely, the other should always give a second chance

however, second chances should be earned, not to be given away freely, agree?=)

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: Jul 31 2008, 01:59 PM

You've mistook my statements when i mention about patience and faith. If you read it properly, you will get the glimpse. You will understand what im trying to say in my previous posts when you're involved in a relationship.

If you think getting a second chances should be earn before a person seeks forgiveness, trust me, you better count in how calculative you are as well.

You will understand what im trying to convey, when you fully understood the concept of loving yourself. A hint for you, regardless of how big a person's mistake is affecting you, your ability to distinguish the given situation and to forgive your partner without even asking a single bit from her but just to show your love, determines how big is your love towards yourself. In a harsh way to describe this, you will hurt lesser or feel no hurt at all.

well, i mean that second chances are for those huge things, in this case, i thought that the focus here was...being a two timer...lol, so, yea, my bad if you thought what i was saying is for small things such as an argument over why the phone bill is so high this month...XD

i still believe that, if you truly love someone, you would forgive everything your partner did no matter what...betrayal is up to one to forgive though...

It should be like this, if you truly love someone, you will understand his or her pain and empathize him or her, and use your trust to forgive him or her. If you were to ask me, if my partner betrays me, what does that imply to me? of course it means I can't keep her relative to her desires and wants, isn't it? Like i say before again and again, look into yourself thoroughly before others.

yes, you could put it this way as well, but well, lets put it on the other hand...

problem arises when two have miscommunication, but if only one has it, the partner can always ask to find out

don't wait till it becomes too late to safe...yes, people argue, people quarrel...the best part comes only when one knows how to forgive after an argument...there are always signs before something "big" happens, so...have a look into it and explore the possibilities of what are causing these problems?

your partner might betray you, but it could not be your fault...you can be the best one out there, but if she doesn't know how to appreciate you, that's another story right?...stories like this happen, and i'm not saying either you or me on this case, so, chill...=)

Put it this way as well,

Can a loving person leaves another loving person? When i say look thoroughly...there are reasons why i meant thoroughly. If you think the other left because the other doesn't know how to appreciate the person, have you ever look whether the person knows how to appreciates the other as well? People don't mistreat others if others don't mistreat them at the first place. Simple as that. Not to mention the collision in the dynamic of interest between two individuals which you have yet to discover.

And yet you still miss the point im making. You often look from the 2nd and 3rd people point of view. Have you ever consider to fill in the 1st person shoes? Or simply put the trouble maker?

And just a note for you, break up is also a process to rebuild a better relationship given that both partner agrees to do so. Harsh? Frankly speaking, there is no such thing 'Don't wait it is too late to safe' unless you are not able to carry the burden and blame.

well, i said so because there are stories as such, one knows how to appreciate and one doesn't...it's sad, but it happens...well, you could say these as sob stories...but also, from john gray's point of view, most of these are miscommunications

of course when both knows how to appreciate, most likely nothing will happen...but there will be arguments over something, someday, just depends on how one resolves it

break up is also a process to rebuild a better relationship given that both partner agrees to do so
i truly agree with this...

well, relationships are mutual after all right? you can't call a relationship a healthy one if there aren't two people communicating healthily inside, yes?=)

Its better you ask why should a relationship be healthy rather than how. This will help you solve your own question. I'm not in the position to determine what is a healthy relationship. Any assumptions that we made regarding what makes a relationship healthy differs greatly from couple to couple. So its best, if we answer why make it healthy and pursue it according to the uniqueness that both people brings in the relationship.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 31 2008, 03:02 PM

agree to the above as well...=)

Forget about it to force guy to tell the truth....save ur gas better....if dont trust, then leave lorrr....

NO... to me is that. If she wanna tell me then let her say. However, if she chose to not letting me know. I will keep that not-to-know stuff. I just hope she will be okay, comfortable if doing so. If she can't afford to hold anymore, i will share my hand to help her at any cost~


arh... .... like that you 2 won't be happy together lo. You doubting him, he doubting you to doubt him... why like that leh?


Well, is it you choose to trust me rather than trusting your lovely boyfriend now?
I think is the best to trust yourself first, then from the point of view of yourself try to "trust" him?!


Reminding me of my ex-gf whom at the early state warning me, dun ever try to cheat her. Once she knows 1 time, we game over. Since then i dare not lie anything. Ever underwear size, how long is my leg hair... she knows everything...

Perhaps you missed the early chance. Keep reminding him not to tell lie... not to tell lie. Like me, I was professionally trained that way in the past~


Between you and him is only sex? Nothing else?

Just tell him,... "If you dare, go enjoy yourself~"


The correct way should be he would not do such even if he is a millionaire. I felt a problem in the communication between you and him... dun you think so?

This post has been edited by edifgrto: Aug 2 2008, 02:18 PM

hahahahhahahahah easier............
dun say anything.............
take the phone to him..........
and told him that " u got a sms n i accidently read it..........
Soli abt it............
Then u show a sad face but dun cry 1st..........
then u say u tired then at this moments, show ur weapon "TEARS"
tears without sound and no argument................
Then ur bf sure ask u wat happened?
then u jz look at the sms in the phone............
then u say" i jz wan to listen a truth explaination from u, but not a good explaination..
Other than this i dun wan to listen, coz its useless........"
then u jz go to room and sleep..........
hahahhahaaha........ But dun knw works o not............

With no proof, I doubt u can

guys got alot of excuses to cover their butt.
recalled my case, i asked my bf tat have he went for any clubs o pubs to celebrate his bday as i cant be with him tat nite as im stayin in hostel n we have curfew at 10pm but he denied, he said he jz stay at home watchin dvd, n non-stop thinkin of me (bull-shiting)

finally end up i found a receipt dated on his bday nite in a nite club after a couple weeks. he so stupid tat he stil keepin tis receipt in his wallet.

n now he is my-ex...cant accept a bf tat lyin to me.

This post has been edited by jayrachek86: Nov 25 2008, 10:11 PM

veritaserum~~

tits

Don't talk to him, hang up with friends,don't pick up the phone
~then he will tell~~

i think can trust dis guy. u see here. if he wanna lie, find a better excuse also can la. just say a guy fren teasing him for overkill oral sex. no need tell until another girl send him tht sms.