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Serious HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, Post all "getting over" advice here

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ViktorJ
post Jun 18 2019, 11:26 PM

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QUOTE(restron @ Jun 18 2019, 08:38 PM)
I broke up with my gf 6 years ago...late this year i will get married n she still single, but i stalked her fb sometimes just to see what she doing, n found out she doing ok with travelling, hiking, etc.
But wonder y she nvr think about married n settle down. Me n her age 32, bout time to settle down, but she don't. I hate to think that she will return to me again bcoz i want to get marry this dec with other girl. I gave her chance for 6 years for any hope of comeback!! The worst part was, after the broke up, she is the only girl that kept appearing in my dream, n the latest one i dream about her 2 weeks ago. This is getting me nutz!!
*
Despite everyone's worry of a woman's biological clock, some people just are not ready to marry yet. Some just prefer not to marry at all.

If ever she kacau you after you are married, it is seriously her problem, not yours at all.

It is completely understandable that you are having dreams like this now. It is quite common actually.

In fact I would even say it is a good thing. To have the doubt now, means that you have time to really think it through, sort it out, and be certain of the decision. You are having pre-marriage jitters, but it is much better than having it AFTER the marriage.

Be certain, go get married, go for your honeymoon, come back and grow with your family. Your ex is as gone as your previous job's boss.
restron
post Jun 18 2019, 11:47 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jun 18 2019, 11:26 PM)
Despite everyone's worry of a woman's biological clock, some people just are not ready to marry yet. Some just prefer not to marry at all.

If ever she kacau you after you are married, it is seriously her problem, not yours at all.

It is completely understandable that you are having dreams like this now. It is quite common actually.

In fact I would even say it is a good thing. To have the doubt now, means that you have time to really think it through, sort it out, and be certain of the decision. You are having pre-marriage jitters, but it is much better than having it AFTER the marriage.

Be certain, go get married, go for your honeymoon, come back and grow with your family. Your ex is as gone as your previous job's boss.
*
Thanks for the advise, bro.
Yes, i'm certain now that i will get married this dec. Hate to be apart from those last memories, but this is the only way to move on. A fact that i still hoping she will return is killing me.
It is more clear if she is the first one to get marry n not me, then i can completely forget her. But with she still solo, i has to do it first.
My mistake is letting her go free when she is with me, she became dependable n think she can live without me, n freely open talking with some other guys.
But we learn from mistake...pretty sad actually

ViktorJ
post Jun 18 2019, 11:55 PM

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QUOTE(restron @ Jun 18 2019, 11:47 PM)
Thanks for the advise, bro.
Yes, i'm certain now that i will get married this dec. Hate to be apart from those last memories, but this is the only way to move on. A fact that i still hoping she will return is killing me.
It is more clear if she is the first one to get marry n not me, then i can completely forget her. But with she still solo, i has to do it first.
My mistake is letting her go free when she is with me, she became dependable n think she can live without me, n freely open talking with some other guys.
But we learn from mistake...pretty sad actually
*
It was not a mistake. It is good that she became independent. We are happy for the people we love(d) rclxms.gif

She is not a regret, because her time has passed. She is solo yes, but you are not. It is far worse if YOU were solo, and she is not. But perhaps this is what she WANTS: to be solo. So no worries there biggrin.gif

It is ok to think of the good times of the past. But also consider the potential goodER times in the future with your soon to be wife.

Do not hope for her returning. That will mess things up. Hope for a great time with your family. That would be the best, right?
restron
post Jun 19 2019, 12:05 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jun 18 2019, 11:55 PM)
It was not a mistake. It is good that she became independent. We are happy for the people we love(d)  rclxms.gif

She is not a regret, because her time has passed. She is solo yes, but you are not. It is far worse if YOU were solo, and she is not. But perhaps this is what she WANTS: to be solo. So no worries there  biggrin.gif

It is ok to think of the good times of the past. But also consider the potential goodER times in the future with your soon to be wife.

Do not hope for her returning. That will mess things up. Hope for a great time with your family. That would be the best, right?
*
Yeah, thanks for the support. Boy took a marry just to forget her. 😅
In the end, we go our own separate ways.
Eila Ant P
post Jul 10 2019, 11:26 AM

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Join some activity, class or anything. Keep yourself occupied and sooner or later you will forget. These activities should involve other people. Who knows, you might meet someone new.
jeaneallenn P
post Jul 28 2019, 03:31 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jun 18 2019, 11:55 PM)
It was not a mistake. It is good that she became independent. We are happy for the people we love(d)  rclxms.gif
This is the main thing. Relationships can be broken for any reason and that does not mean that we have to hate them to guts for this.

Surely the breaking up is not a mistake and we are always happy for the people we once love(d) wub.gif
Slowest Ant
post Aug 5 2019, 11:46 AM

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QUOTE(restron @ Jun 19 2019, 12:05 AM)
Yeah, thanks for the support. Boy took a marry just to forget her. 😅
In the end, we go our own separate ways.
*
Thoo you are thinking that by marrying someone would be a great way to forget about your EX. But worry not, sooner or later, you'll appreciate most of your moment with you soon-to-be wife. You'll love her more and you will completely forget about your EX. Like they said no matter how long you were with you someone, if fate says so, then she is not yours.

Same case with me, I had a GF for almost 8 years, but I ended up marrying someone who I only went on a date for like 3 times?

But she is the best person I ever met compared to my EX Gf that I have dated for almost 8 years. wub.gif whistling.gif
efariz
post Aug 21 2019, 02:47 PM

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BUMP for this thread..I'm in the middle of a relationship crisis, perhaps broke up is the best way..Hope I can find a way to move on..
d.ender5089
post Aug 29 2019, 09:23 PM

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QUOTE(restron @ Jun 18 2019, 08:38 PM)
I broke up with my gf 6 years ago...late this year i will get married n she still single, but i stalked her fb sometimes just to see what she doing, n found out she doing ok with travelling, hiking, etc.
But wonder y she nvr think about married n settle down. Me n her age 32, bout time to settle down, but she don't. I hate to think that she will return to me again bcoz i want to get marry this dec with other girl. I gave her chance for 6 years for any hope of comeback!! The worst part was, after the broke up, she is the only girl that kept appearing in my dream, n the latest one i dream about her 2 weeks ago. This is getting me nutz!!
*
regretting is something you suffer like hell do......so my advise confront her (i mean ur ex-girlfriend ) another mean face to face........ brows.gif

just see she still love you.......if she move on then forget it.....move on.



if she still love you ....then u might sweat.gif and shocking.gif and doh.gif ......OMG.......


so find that answer you looking at......two women fell from ship .....the ocean is rough one woman is ur current girlfriend and another ex-girlfriend .....who do you save 1st?
Avermofo
post Sep 18 2019, 12:03 AM

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Guys,

We've been together for many years, and staying together.
Recently, she tells me that she is not happy, and i neglected her feeling.
She call the shot and move out recently.
I realize my fault and my mistakes, and i told her that i will do my best to fix and to perfect myself, i will take action and prove it to her.
All i need is a chance to convince her, getting her the courage to believe in me once again.
I damn regret. Been crying for many days. Insomnia for many days.
Anyone can please advise and enlighten me please.
leeliangan
post Oct 22 2019, 11:12 AM

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QUOTE(Avermofo @ Sep 18 2019, 12:03 AM)
Guys,

We've been together for many years, and staying together.
Recently, she tells me that she is not happy, and i neglected her feeling.
She call the shot and move out recently.
I realize my fault and my mistakes, and i told her that i will do my best to fix and to perfect myself, i will take action and prove it to her.
All i need is a chance to convince her, getting her the courage to believe in me once again.
I damn regret. Been crying for many days. Insomnia for many days.
Anyone can please advise and enlighten me please.
*
Never easy after a break ups. except you don love the person. Maybe she just finds you're not the one and she just wants to move out
instead of dragging each other's time. I know you must be thinking that somehow still can work that relationship out again but no.
once someone already told you how he or she felt at the first place, they changed.
no point to hold it back. you gonna hurt yourself. trust me.

leeliangan
post Oct 22 2019, 11:16 AM

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Broke up always hurt no matter how. If you still love the person, definitely gonna be tough thing. but time heals.
when you're healing, and you will slowly realize memories hurts too. Good memories comes with bad ones. so yeah.
It's fine to rest but do not stop the journey. I've been thru hell when broke up, bad things happened on me and families in just 8 days.
I wasnt tough enough to handle everything and i just burst it out in front of mom.
But now im getting better. stronger. Life isnt easy but just enjoy while you can right?
Be tought guys. smile.gif
Searizeel
post Dec 30 2019, 12:58 PM

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QUOTE(Avermofo @ Sep 18 2019, 01:03 AM)
Guys,

We've been together for many years, and staying together.
Recently, she tells me that she is not happy, and i neglected her feeling.
She call the shot and move out recently.
I realize my fault and my mistakes, and i told her that i will do my best to fix and to perfect myself, i will take action and prove it to her.
All i need is a chance to convince her, getting her the courage to believe in me once again.
I damn regret. Been crying for many days. Insomnia for many days.
Anyone can please advise and enlighten me please.
*
Hi there!

Completely get how you're feeling. I agree is leeliangan, it's never easy after the breakup if you really love her. And from the way you responded, it seems like you do.

Either way, it's important to know that you don't have to rush the process. I'd give you some pointers, but a better idea would be to go through the entire thread here since post #1. I'm sure something will light up in your mind as you go through everything.

As human beings, it's inevitable that we make mistakes. Just remember that your life isn't the sum of your mistakes, but what you make of them. So do what you feel is right for yourself. It's always good to seek advice from others, but also know that you are under no obligation to follow what they say word for word.

If you do that, you're gonna end up blaming other people for things you are doing, so don't fall into that pit. It's just a downward spiral to a place lower than rock bottom. Listen intently, reflect; then make your own sound judgment.

Please continue to share your thoughts if you ever need to unload things. The world always expects us to keep our minds silent and be okay with it, but it's never really okay. All the best!
beeMay
post Dec 30 2019, 09:57 PM

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Hello. I dont have any sad feeling or any hurt because of the breakup. I only feel guilty as I think i should not have left him all alone with all the problem in this world. But I keep waiting for the moment he doesn't have problem, i realise that moment never arrive. He always have problem and something to be sad/stress about. And even if hes happy, I really dont wanna take that one single happiness away as he got too much sadness in his life.

So this afternoon I said it. He was sad, I feel really bad. But this had to be done in order to save both of us time and more pain.

The reason I broke up is because I really dont see future with him and I think we are not a match. I think both of us deserves someone better. He deserves someone more understanding and so do I.

I truly wish the best for him and I would be so glad to see him get a better life, with someone new.

-end of chat
Suthesh08 P
post Dec 31 2019, 03:37 PM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Dec 30 2019, 09:57 PM)
Hello. I dont have any sad feeling or any hurt because of the breakup. I only feel guilty as I think i should not have left him all alone with all the problem in this world. But I keep waiting for the moment he doesn't have problem, i realise that moment never arrive. He always have problem and something to be sad/stress about. And even if hes happy, I really dont wanna take that one single happiness away as he got too much sadness in his life.

So this afternoon I said it. He was sad, I feel really bad. But this had to be done in order to save both of us time and more pain.

The reason I broke up is because I really dont see future with him and I think we are not a match. I think both of us deserves someone better. He deserves someone more understanding and so do I.

I truly wish the best for him and I would be so glad to see him get a better life, with someone new.

-end of chat
*


One thing that you need to know about relationships is that no matter how much you all love each other, at the end of the day, you only have yourself and only you can be responsible for your own life. That goes to your ex too. If your ex doesn't have his life together, he needs to find a way to get it back together by himself. And trust me, maybe this break up is something that he needs. From my own experience, trust me, the pain of a breakup can be the est thing can ever happen to you.
beeMay
post Jan 9 2020, 11:21 PM

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QUOTE(Suthesh08 @ Dec 31 2019, 03:37 PM)
One thing that you need to know about relationships is that no matter how much you all love each other, at the end of the day, you only have yourself and only you can be responsible for your own life. That goes to your ex too. If your ex doesn't have his life together, he needs to find a way to get it back together by himself. And trust me, maybe this break up is something that he needs. From my own experience, trust me, the pain of a breakup can be the est thing can ever happen to you.
*
Thank you so much.
I am on my probably 2 weeks after break up and I do feel it is difficult, lonely. Especially i dont have any friends. But i believe i can stay strong 💪 thank you for the kind words!
Searizeel
post Jan 10 2020, 03:21 AM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 10 2020, 12:21 AM)
Thank you so much.
I am on my probably 2 weeks after break up and I do feel it is difficult, lonely. Especially i dont have any friends. But i believe i can stay strong 💪 thank you for the kind words!
*
Loneliness can be a good thing. Having friends sometimes can be very distracting as they always fill your mind with ideas that are not truly yours.

Either way, just remember that you don't owe it to anyone to stay strong, so just feel however you need to feel. The only way to get through the pain is facing it head on. Avoiding it is just a cold brew to disaster.

You deserve better than that.

Anyways, the people who are your friends can come in many different points. Just be more open and honest with yourself and you'll find those friends eventually. Good friends will always be good friends, new, old or existing doesn't matter much.

People come and go. Such is life and relationships.

Keep posting here if it helps you sort through your thoughts. We aren't much, but everyone in this thread are friends.

Good day to you.
Suthesh08 P
post Jan 20 2020, 05:03 PM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 9 2020, 11:21 PM)
Thank you so much.
I am on my probably 2 weeks after break up and I do feel it is difficult, lonely. Especially i dont have any friends. But i believe i can stay strong 💪 thank you for the kind words!
*
Hi How are you doing now?

beeMay
post Jan 21 2020, 10:23 PM

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QUOTE(Suthesh08 @ Jan 20 2020, 05:03 PM)
Hi How are you doing now?
*
Helloo im doing kinda fineee
I try not to remember my relationship cause it makes me angry of why i ended up with that guy.

I swear to you, it has been a long time that I dontwant suicide. But when the last time i fought with him I said I want to die.
rafe001
post Feb 22 2020, 08:35 AM

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QUOTE(restron @ Jun 18 2019, 08:38 PM)
I broke up with my gf 6 years ago...late this year i will get married n she still single, but i stalked her fb sometimes just to see what she doing, n found out she doing ok with travelling, hiking, etc.
But wonder y she nvr think about married n settle down. Me n her age 32, bout time to settle down, but she don't. I hate to think that she will return to me again bcoz i want to get marry this dec with other girl. I gave her chance for 6 years for any hope of comeback!! The worst part was, after the broke up, she is the only girl that kept appearing in my dream, n the latest one i dream about her 2 weeks ago. This is getting me nutz!!
*
Forget her and just move on with your life

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