so youre saying she's like any other girl?

that wasnt what you asked nor is it related. u asked if the advice would apply to her as well, and it would. it applies to everyone

I asked:
1. what would you do.
to make your tips work, you'd have to treat her like every other girl. if you didnt, then you'd have to apply different techniques, different from the ones you stated here. which would make your thread redundant.

2. what would you tell her/advice her what to do to help her forget about you/get over the relationship; not if it applies to her. ok so you'll tell her the same thing. you'd tell her the same thing and she'll forget you because youre like every other guy.

This post has been edited by benjinn: Apr 16 2009, 05:10 PM

Wah Benjinn ur logic sooo good.

But why u so hostile to TS?



This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 17 2009, 01:39 PM

you have to be harsh to be kind.

You is SPARTA!



This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 17 2009, 01:39 PM

so, what you're trying to say is?

1. to follow the advice would mean that you are just another girl.
2. if however you were different, then the steps would not be applicable, making this thread redundant.

so un-pin this thread.

and what makes you think that the steps will not be applicable even if im different?

That would mean that you are the same.
Do you deal with your past relationships all the same? or were some a little harder/easier/different to forget?

even if it was a very very very special person, the method of getting over him/her would still be the same, dont you think?
the only difference, if any, would be the length of time needed

They certainly do NOT follow the SAME steps.

Step 1, Step 2, Step 3A are the same thing. Redundant.
Step 3B - i had a friend who punched walls and threw things around. seems to work for him.
And the last one about Time, thats not even a technique. Thats you choosing to be alive and not killing yourself.


And I dont see Anger or Hate. Telling yourself that the other person was a jerk/bia*tch, and believing in it even if it isn't exactly true. If you Hated or got Angry you wouldn't have to go through 'Deciding to get over it', or 'Acceptance'. Those steps/decisions just don't come up.
So many threads are opened by people here ranting about this/that person treating them badly, but because they are wimps, they accept it as their luck, or decide that they don't deserve better. 'Deciding that it is over/Accepting' it wouldn't do any good, because it would be empty, or even worse, place the blame/fault on yourself, thinking that SOMEDAY it would get better. You dont just go out and decide and tell yourself repeatedly 'Ok, its over'. It would be difficult to accept, and very difficult to sustain. People always tell you not to question, or 'dont ask why, just accept the fact that it is over and move on'. Thats bollocks. Thats the very reason you stayed a long time in your past relationship. You need REASONS to make it stick and make it easier to accept the fact that it is over. and hate (and being Angry) is a very powerful reason. It is destructive, might not be pretty, but it works. and thats a different method of getting over him/her.


So again, the techniques are NOT the SAME. Unless you accept that the person is like everyone else who has come before, which of course is not true because people are special (at least thats what you would like to think, correct?). Which would make the steps here redundant.

thats not what you asked nor is it related.
you're not exactly trying to prove the point you made earlier

I was addressing what I said earlier. I made two points from the beginning. One to FOLLOW the steps, and the other NOT TO FOLLOW.

this is what i said earlier. to quote:
1. to follow the advice would mean that you are just another girl.
2. if however you were different, then the steps would not be applicable, making this thread redundant.

In other words,
1. i was stating that that if the steps DID apply, you would be the same as everyone else, which of course you are not, right?
2. the steps are NOT the same, since you are special. Therefore the Steps/Advice would not apply.

and in my last post, i was replying to this post.

you were saying if it was the same method. I said NO. I gave you a new method Anger/Hate, which SKIPS both Step 1 and Step 2.
When you hate/get angry, you don’t have to ‘DECIDE that it is over’ – you KNOW it is over.
And you certainly don’t go through ‘Acceptance’ – what is there to accept? That you were involved in a terrible relationship? Or would it be easier for you to just hate the person and skip the whole acceptance part?


which part is not related, or which point am i not exactly trying to prove?

i still dont understand why must you have separate methods to get over somebody, whether that sombody is "just another girl" or not

This post has been edited by chocoholic221: Apr 17 2009, 05:26 PM

I don't want to say it, but but but but but....

Anger leads to hate and HATE LEADS TO SUFFERING!!!!!

--------------

But on a serious note... thx for sharing with us Benjinn.

Hate and anger is very powerful, but I would not recommend it.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 17 2009, 06:32 PM

*grab popcorn and watch taichi show here*

anger and hate is stupid and nonconstructive and destructive as well. u drive away everyone who happens to be near u, or friends who want to show support. Anger and hate is immatured.

Feeling angry and hateful is just as bad as self pity. It is not an attractive trait, and its like taking for a fact that the world revolves around you.

benjinn, i'm totally up for debating, its good to share ideas and opinions and discuss. But if intentions are to troll, be warned.


Where chocoholic is special to me or not is beside the point. The method of getting over someone is the same. I've no idea how to even start with you to correct your logic, since they're both totally off tangent.

the advice were meant to be followed objectively not emotionally.

considering whether or not someone is special is totally emotional, and emotions cannot be rationalized.

When u want to get over someone, your objective is to push emotions aside.

If you let your emotions control you, you either have anger management issues, or you'll just get all emo and never get over the person, as everything will end with "But she is special. But i still love her. But i cant live without her"

Its all in the state of mind.

SO

In order to get over me, i would advice her to change her state of mind and assess it objectively. Does she treat me like every other guy? no. But when you want to get over someone, you MUST change your perception and treat the person like any other person.

I even said this already in the very first post, if you had actually gone through the entire thing.

Love is a state of mind. Look at someone often enough, fantasize and replay all the good traits, and tell yourself you love the person, and soon enough you will. Look at someone with disgust and tell yourself you hate the person and keep replaying all the bad traits, and soon you'll be hating the person with a frenzy.

So yes, benjinn, your logic of trying to equate emotions being constant now and after a relationship is wrong.

Nice point you raised there though, and a valid one. Its a mistake lots of people make, that love is forever and constant. It is not.

Look at someone you currently love like crazy, and ALWAYS think about the bad thing the person has done, and soon enough you'll break up.

This post has been edited by Baronic: Apr 18 2009, 11:10 AM

Don't get into one, it's that simple.

Is Love, Faith is in the GOD hand?