In a blunt truth kind of way, he is right. Although his delivery could be better.

And yes, there are ppl who have recovered from 4th stage but it is a 50-50 chance. The hardest thing is the fight to be optimistic that things will get better, especially when having to undergo the chemotherapy. It is even more painful when you're waiting there at the hospital day-by-day.

The cancer ward is probably the most gloomiest hospital ward as a lot of family members will more-or-less "abandon" the families in those wards. The silence of the wards is extremely tangible when they remove a patient who has pass away at night. Those who haven't gone to a cancer ward before, have a care on what you write to people here who are seeking help and a guiding light. Even though the intention to help with good, if you're not going to take the effort to give a few words of kindness and encouragement, I would suggest don't bother typing at all.

Valentineday, my only advice is that you would have to be positive for your mother. You can try drawing her attention away from the cancer by bringing her magazines, books, telling her what's happening in your life, etc. Anything to distract her mind and behaving it's a normal day because they would like normalcy. Touch her - this more than anything else will show that you love her. Hug her often. Occasionally have meals together with her just like it's a normal day. Even if she protested hard, deep down the appreciation is there that you are eating with her together. With stomach cancer, I'm not sure what kind of food that both of you can share together but drinks also helps. Eating alone can be extremely depressing.

My auntie suffered from a cancer in her nose that eventually spread to her spine during the regression period. She was the most optimistic person I've ever had the pleasure to have known and she kept her positive mood up even when she passed away quietly. Even when she lost the use of her teeth, we still fed her foods that she like - we just blended it so that she can swallow it like char kway teow. But this was at a stage where the cancer got so terrible that nothing could fix it. She was a joy and a cheerfulness in the cancer ward. We used to visit her regularly and spend hours with her. Some of my cousins got into bed with her and they just chitchat. We were also lucky to have found someone who knew about bedcare and we could hire her as a parttime nurse to help maintain my auntie's cleanliness.

There should be also some sort of Hospice Volunteer group at the Hospital. They usually provide advice and help to cancer patients and families of cancer patients during this period. Hospice doesn't only mean pallative care. It's also about teaching the families to deal with having a loved one who is having cancer. Speak to the hospital.

hi Mate...this really help me alot thx...little fixing by the way...is my aunt not my mother.....if is my mother i think the only thing i know is crying now not typing word....so...maximum she only can live up to 5 years and the chances in 50-50....this is very bad...as my parent keep buying those very expensive chinese medicine for her, hoping she will recover....mayb is call karma, like wat Buddhist...wat u did in your previous life eventually u have to pay... but i still feel so unfair...y not those ppl who steal and kill ppl to get 30 bucks get all this disease, good people who humble and decent deed always the one who suffer....damn really have the nerve to join police force so thing will be better...haha..only dare to express feeling in here since no one know me...the keyboard warrior...

hey mate...u serious about this statement? now really scaring me man....her face juz look fine to me....there r ppl recover from 4th stage right?

In a blunt truth kind of way, he is right. Although his delivery could be better.

And yes, there are ppl who have recovered from 4th stage but it is a 50-50 chance. The hardest thing is the fight to be optimistic that things will get better, especially when having to undergo the chemotherapy. It is even more painful when you're waiting there at the hospital day-by-day.

The cancer ward is probably the most gloomiest hospital ward as a lot of family members will more-or-less "abandon" the families in those wards. The silence of the wards is extremely tangible when they remove a patient who has pass away at night. Those who haven't gone to a cancer ward before, have a care on what you write to people here who are seeking help and a guiding light. Even though the intention to help with good, if you're not going to take the effort to give a few words of kindness and encouragement, I would suggest don't bother typing at all.

Valentineday, my only advice is that you would have to be positive for your mother. You can try drawing her attention away from the cancer by bringing her magazines, books, telling her what's happening in your life, etc. Anything to distract her mind and behaving it's a normal day because they would like normalcy. Touch her - this more than anything else will show that you love her. Hug her often. Occasionally have meals together with her just like it's a normal day. Even if she protested hard, deep down the appreciation is there that you are eating with her together. With stomach cancer, I'm not sure what kind of food that both of you can share together but drinks also helps. Eating alone can be extremely depressing.

My auntie suffered from a cancer in her nose that eventually spread to her spine during the regression period. She was the most optimistic person I've ever had the pleasure to have known and she kept her positive mood up even when she passed away quietly. Even when she lost the use of her teeth, we still fed her foods that she like - we just blended it so that she can swallow it like char kway teow. But this was at a stage where the cancer got so terrible that nothing could fix it. She was a joy and a cheerfulness in the cancer ward. We used to visit her regularly and spend hours with her. Some of my cousins got into bed with her and they just chitchat. We were also lucky to have found someone who knew about bedcare and we could hire her as a parttime nurse to help maintain my auntie's cleanliness.

There should be also some sort of Hospice Volunteer group at the Hospital. They usually provide advice and help to cancer patients and families of cancer patients during this period. Hospice doesn't only mean pallative care. It's also about teaching the families to deal with having a loved one who is having cancer. Speak to the hospital.

Chinese medicine is not so well regulated here compared to China, Taiwan, Korea and Japan. Singapore is making more advances towards traditional medicine control but in Malaysia, not really.

The problem with Chinese Medicine is that it's not well known what are the side reactions with Western Medicine. In fact, it's an extremely high risk and your parents should really consult the doctor looking after your auntie. Your parents are trying to help in the only way that they know how to. It's normal for relatives to feel like this with loved ones.

Life is unfair only because you view it as unfair. Sometimes, in tough situations, you have to be optimistic or at least, change the way you look at things. Yes, you can feel frustrated but you do not need to let it make you so angry at life. The only constant thing in life is change. Everything around us will change. So we should also change our thinking and viewpoint to suit the change.

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Added on March 23, 2009, 11:07 pmA small suggestion : you might want to consider buying "Chicken Soup for the Soul". See if there is one for cancer patients or something. The stories in there are motivational stories and can help perk up your day.

according to various source and real life example drink this http://www.eexcel.com.my/pr_pr_perfor.htm and eat some kind of powder produce by porcupine in their brain will help control and strengthen our immune system...eventually after some times everything will be fine....

goodkarma : Thanks for the compliment and awesome blog btw! I hope that your wife will make a successful recovery and have fun in life!

I have my doubts but only because I can't see the information that may be useful. But I'm a huge skeptic and it takes a lot of various articles from reputable sources to convince me.

You might want to speak to goodkarma. He may give you some insight as it looks like he's a fulltime cancer "researcher". Looks like information researcher. May help give you a different view from me. I'm extremely opinionated.

Is the incidence of cancer so high nowadays? This is getting worrisome.

cancer and degenerative disease are the "trend" now.. why?

browsing through goodkarma blog, am quite attracted to DMSO+chemo treatment @@ So the doctor succesfully target the cancer cell and selectively destroy it?

To answer in two words - Lifestyle and Diet.

Make changes to both, and you dramatically increase your chances of avoiding such illnesses.

I chuckled a bit at this. We probably have preplex majority of the forum readers out. Which reminds me, need to get that nutrition post up. >.<

Anyway, have you thought of Dr. Luke Lin from Taiwan? What do you think of his  approach towards a lifestyle change, especially for cancer patients? A friend lent me a recipe book of his recipes and some of the dishes look interesting. But a lot of boiling and steaming though.

Errr....I'm not an expert. I'm still learning >.<.

I googled the Dr Luke Lin you mentioned. It's not him.

The person I'm referring to is Dr. Luke Lin Kuang Chang. I got to know about him a few years ago when I bought a random book from Popular Bookstore about Fresh, Light, Toxin-Free. It was more on concepts of eating and there were quite a number of testimonials from cancer survivors (although the way they describe the healing crisis is tough).

The Recipe Book was is titled "21 Days : Dr Luke Lin's Guid eto Toxin-free living" although I was informed that this one couldn't be bought in bookstores.

His detox diet is really popular amongst the Chinese community from what I hear from friends. Food is a bit bland because it's mostly steam/boiled but his philosophy of food selection is a mesh of Western and Chinese nutrition philosophy. That's what makes it intriguing.

I understand i've posted this link twice now, but yet it again for the benefit of those who have not viewed it yet.

Randy Pausch is a lecturer whom suffered from pancreatic cancer. Even having such an advanced stage cancer did not change his outlook on life.
He's famous for his "Last Lecture"

I hope those that who are or  have family members who are in similar predicament can draw strength from his tale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4

Thanks for the info, will try to look for his book. There are of course hundreds of diet plans that claim to cure cancer, and some of them work pretty well, and my general assessment of such diets is that as long as it consists of intake of raw or fresh vegetables and fruits, and less cooked food, it will be good for the body and strengthen the immune system so that it can fight cancer or any other illness better. And by the way, if one were to steam fish that has been farmed in a careless way (where there is use of chemicals - there are even cases of steriods being injected into live fish swimming merrily in the seafood restaurant), then there is absolutely no benefit to the sick person. Or eating so-called healthy vegetables that have been sprayed with chemicals. So it goes beyond the diet, actually.