I am in my 30s and have been singled for the past 4 years

These 4 years I tried to chase girls whenever possible from social activities to office. Somehow all didn’t worked out

There was one intern in my office I liked her and trying to get close to her and know her better but she was keeping it a distance and later only I knew she actually is seeing someone in the same office.

After continuously tried, I grow tired and my reputations in office somehow not that good anymore. So I gave up on relationship this year May.

The intern she came back as permanent in July but since I given up , so I decided not to have any sort of moves… just focus only on my works.

Then go my surprised she show interest in me and I was in shocked because it was hard to believe. So I proceed with cautions asking her out for a movie and trying to know her. I was still half disbelief so I treated her extremely politely and didn’t flirt at all.

After that movie date, she no longer show any interest in me and I was afraid I will lost her so I asked her out… the next week unfortunately it was at the same time I got sick in my life and lost my voice. Yet I still asked her out and we had a good talk despite me losing my voice

And I got a very important trip in 2 weeks. So the next week i focus on recovering since i totally lost my voice the 2nd date after.

After my trip, for some reason my infections got worse and i ended up having fevers for more than 2 weeks and then hospitalised.

I wanted to propose her to be my gf on the 3rd date but for some reason a lot of factors stopping me from doing it… then now she told me she is seeing someone and we can still continue to be just FRIEND.

My heart just broke. I dunno what to feel, shall I be sad? Shall I be regret? I just feel so lost right now… is like god has make a big joke on me again

bruh, dont shit where you eat tf. what are you doing. and with someone below your command?

i am confidentaly can tell you that you have never been to night club before or never been to thailand or indonesia or vietnam or philipina.

bro - the pussycat already hint you and give you a bomb to be a friend la. she using you as back up plan, that is why she go out for movie with you to test water what will you do.

since you in your 30's d, please focus building yourself in mind, knowledge, body, hobby, and do better at work - earn more $$$,
the pretty flowers will come sendiri.

there are plenty more fish in the sea bro, broaden your horizon please.


good luck!

This post has been edited by malaysiaku: Aug 20 2025, 08:23 AM

The intern is another dept not my dept

Maybe she didn't really "show interest in you" but rather just being friendly. And you took it the wrong way

you're probably repeating the same old habits that prevent you from getting a better success on this. Generally speaking, if the girl doesn't feel you're grounded and being colorful social butterfly there's less meaning for her to be sexually attracted to you at the first place

Secondly, it depends on how she relates you with her past experiences with the guys or the stories she has been told. There's only that much thing you can do to attract a girl and ultimately its up to her whether she's open up to be available for you

If you're still doubtful with your attractiveness as a person, maybe there's an underneath deeper reason more than that

I agree, it can be a form of idealized projection.

If possible, dont date anyone from the office...later messy lar..even though I have seen it at workplace....

No need to feel sad with this type of girl. Last time I meet with this type of girl, doctor. She approach first but later I suspect something wrong, find out in social media, she in relationship with another doctor, luckily I escaped from being keep as a backup. This type of girl only problematic, u can see they are very friendly with many male.

I read TS post..

Then I saw first date = movie date

One of the donts. Fail.

Bcoz limited opportunity to talk?

so many mistakes

1. Don't eat and sh_ _ in the same place
2. Don't go for a movie date
3. Don't propose (wait what, is this a marriage??)

When dating, u are trying to build a connection to the person you are dating. This requires communication. Communication is verbal and non-verbal (body language, touch). Cant do all these while watching a movie in a cinema.

And if u touch2 in the cinema all the sudden, then u risk being a pervert.

Cinema dates should wait until physically comfortable. Thats my policy.

keep the date simple, do what most malaysians do and love, go makan somewhere

This girl has a lot of options. You are not her priority. Leave her alone for now.

Move on. waste time being friends. she will come back if that one didnt work out. and you can choose if you want to be 2nd choice.

dont easily gave up if you feel that she potential become wife. just keep contact and friendzone area so that she know you are still interested. if you just want dating and play2, better focus on career

But dont go food court ya..at least for the first few dates.

of course never food court man! no class at all.... go mamak
truly malaysian

you've always been the spare tyre ..