what did you do to forget someone who you loved?

i tried the following but still cant:

1. attend weekend workshops
2. engage into sports after work
3. went for solo trips
4. stop communicating with her
5. eat healthy, wake up early, sleep early

This post has been edited by noobmaster_69: May 13 2025, 10:40 AM

Just assumed you in debt to someone (your crush/loved one)

People tend to forget the people they in debt to

P.s not gonna work if you are a honest person

the more u try to forget the more u will remember.

just continue ur life and eventually u will move on

Yes, no need to try hard. Time will ease whatever feeling you have although you might not forget everything.

I lost my brother many, many years ago when he was young in an accident. It took my mom 4 - 5 years to live a normal life to not always think about him.

Maybe sometimes what you need is just time.

This post has been edited by Law-sama: May 13 2025, 11:07 AM

Gave myself 5 day to grief and told myself this will be the last 5 days I get over this shit

And true enough on the 3rd day I told myself she getting laid by someone and I’m here sulking

Told myself she lost her chance. 6 year later I found out she became teacher at kindergarten ( likely b40 salary) and have a child and heard her husband was abusive from a mutual friend

I felt sad for her but at the same time I recall what she said last to me when she broke up. So move on. To each his or her own destiny. Now I’m married to someone that love me and well turned me into a gym junkie and brought the best out of me.

TS, time is the key. Nothing you do can really immediately flush out the memories from your brain. But life must keep going. Everyone will get a heart break, it really tough, I do too. But you must remember, when you able to pass this stage and look back, you feel great that you did it.

I met my ex again after 12 years of break up. Both of us started a family and have kid. We did not greet each other even though we sit next table.

So, try to find something that you like or wanted to do so, now it a great time to invest your effort and time. For sure you will meet another one in the near future.

Don't give up a whole forest just for a single tree. Keep it up, life is tough but it a challenge that make people stronger.

What did she say to you?

Usual shit la

Don’t see a future with me and she lost feelings ( we were 21 year old that time) and need to move on basically telling me she found someone better lah.

She broke up with me on my 21st birthday ( some say this is the freedom birthday from parent clutches) and I was informed. That night I suppose to cut birthday cake with her but end up cut cake with my parent instead lol

Anyway she will remember me forever coz I was the one that took her virginity. But yeah that breakup made me feel shit and weak

Just enjoyed my hobby to the max, life's goes on, move on

you just need another woman.

Times is key... Find a hobby ,work,workout, but there is no guarantee cos I too am still trying to forget someone whom I spent 4 years with... I cut contact with her deleted everything, just live everyday like normal, and get used to missing her it will eventually hurt less... I still occasionally think of her because alot of things reminds me of her, places, food, movies, songs you name it... But continue to live, it can only be less painful

Are you idiot please!?

Miss someone who left or having sex with another man!?

Please spend all your time look for money!!!!!!!!!

Money = Freedom

Life goes on.
Let it go and move on.

whatever doesn't kill u will make u stronger TS. Embrace the pain.

if its me, i'll keep myself busy with work, not occupy myself with entertainment or leisure.

it wont go off in a week or month, sorry to say it may take year(s). just let time do it's job.

If it's any consolation for you, be assured many of us also went through a heartbreak and we're from the future telling you: time will heal and you'll eventually love again (yourself and maybe someone, hopefully both and hopefully mutual )

Trust me, play MMORPG game...... this will take almost your daily time till you concentrate on your character and reducing your brain think about past.....

go date more ppl, then your mind will be occupied with these new dates

find someone better than her.

you will get over it

People have different goals and expectations in life. Like buyers and sellers. Don't get too caught up about it....People come and go all the time.

The measures you can take at an individual level have already hit saturation. No further input will help other than time. The rest that will make the difference is the external factors.

Here is my version of how I overcame my breakup.

My 1st relationship started when I was 17 years old and lasted till I was 23 years old, for the duration of 7 years. The relationship failed in the 7th year. So, was the breakup hard? As I stated before, it looks easy for the outsider, but when it happens to ourselves, it feels entirely different. This was not a shallow attachment; it was a bond formed through long-term emotional investment and shared developmental phases.

How do I overcome the breakup? This is very subjective to myself (internally) & people of my surroundings (externally). During that period of time, I'm surrounded by a number of kind people. These people came to me in the most unexpected way to show their support for me post-breakup.

One of the important people in my life is my elder sister—I have 2 other siblings who are not that close. My age difference with my elder sister is only a 1-year gap, & we went through the same phase of life together since our younger days (she was my partner in crime ). My elder sister is the 1st one to know about me being in the relationship, and she is also the 1st one to know about my breakup, followed by my mother. I notified my family of my breakup because both of our families interact with each other back at our hometown.

How did my family react? My mother was so worried that the breakup would take a heavy blow on me mentally—worried that I might consider suicide because there were a number of young people who took that path after relationship failure. Just imagine that kind of worry felt in our society almost 20 years ago. She kept reminding my elder sister to watch over me closely. We were both away from our hometown to study at KL; hence, my mom could only rely on my elder sister to keep her eye on my development.

What did my elder sister do? Well, she temporarily ditched her boyfriend during that period and personally dated me to go out to watch movies and have lunch/dinner together—spending her free time with me. Seriously, I felt so sorry for my brother-in-law during the period. This was not the first time my elder sister protected me; she shielded me from being beaten by my mother when I was around 11-12 years old. Another person who shielded me from being my mother's caning was my late grandfather. I remember all the people who shielded me since years ago. That breakup of my relationship made me rethink how fortunate I am to be blessed with such people in this life.

My university mates, who are also my housemates & roommates, both of them witnessed how 2 of us got together since pre-u and enrolled in the same university together. Without any questioning, both of my university mates decided to side with me (maybe they just did it for moral support). They asked me the reason for the break-up. I told them I was also clueless, just like 2 of them, as she refused to reveal. I could only request them not to take sides because they are also her friends. For them to take sides because of me will make the scenario very awkward—we shared the same pool of friends.

My secondary school buddies, the group that did all the crazy/stupid things with me during our teenage years. They purposely drove all the way from Singapore and KL just to meet and cheer me up. We hardly meet because they took different paths after the SPM. When we met, one of them vented out on me, "You deserved Sei Chai Bao" (死仔包), after getting the GF and forgetting brothers. So, is a girlfriend or brothers more important now?" That scolding hit a certain part of me deeply; I never thought that this bunch of idiots was yearning for my company. They never changed all this while; it was I who have changed over the years. We met up a few times during that period.

Among my cousins, there are three who are particularly close to me. We grew up together at our grandparents' house during our childhood. Our age gap is only 1 year. Either 1 year older or 1 year younger. They purposely came with my elder sister to cheer me up. This was totally unexpected from my cousins, to be honest. Usually we only met during the Chinese New Year or other Chinese cultural celebrations.

So, how long did it take for me to overcome the breakup? Approximately 6 months.

In the 1st month, there was emotional chaos: a lot of why? what? when? where? who? & how? All these questions were running scenarios of possibilities on the cause and effect, looking for the reason for that failure.

In the 2nd month, I was slightly calmer, but there was still refusal to engage with things supposed to be done. Just imagine, the long-term planning was destroyed just like that. 7 years of wastage + the resistance to face the fact (there was just no other option). The heaviness was intense as there was unwillingness to accept the fact that the time, resources, emotions, and planned future being heavily invested were giving such a state a failed outcome (lesson).

On the 3rd month—same thing of being sober. Luckily the presence of my elder sister and some crazy friends keeps my mind occupied. It managed to divert my attention to being more present instead of thinking about the past and future. It should be the shittiest semester of my university life. My examination's grade has so many B-, C+, or C's printed in the result slip for the first time in my life, but luckily I still managed to pass that semester examination.

In the 4th month, I came to my senses that my sister, friends, and cousins—they all have their own lives and priorities. I cannot expect them to be with me all the time; it is very unfair for them. I started to revisit the version of me before I got into the relationship. The version where I will make some daring decisions because I don't have the other half to worry about. I slowly start to recognize the strength of being in such a position again.

In the 5th month, life was heading into the last semester of my university life. I start enjoying doing things alone without my sister and friends. I came to the conclusion that whatever I needed to grieve, I had already grieved. Any further grieving or being sad over the breakup will not change anything. There is a sequence of priority of life; if I do not take the priority, it will impact my life in the long run. The priority of my life at that moment was to get myself graduated.

In the 6th month—I started to organize myself back according to the sequence of priority. Grieving = static state. Static state will not change any outcome. Acknowledging such a state, I just need to move on alone. What happened to my original plan? I left it unaltered. I just continue to move forward alone at that time.

I used to say, Find the light within the darkest moment. These are the lights I found during my breakout event:

1. I have a protective elder sister who is always there for me. I think only she would do such a thing. I’m not sure if other have story of similarity. This made me ponder—I want my coming generation to inherit this kind of sibling bonding (1-year gap vs. a few years gap with the other 2 siblings).

2. I realized how much my parents worry about me. Their unconditional love is beyond doubt—it can always be felt even though she beat me up badly during my younger days.

3. I recalled how my teenage buddies still cared for me, even though we had grown distant.

4. I recalled how my university mates took my side without question—perhaps that is the real meaning of friendship.

5. I recalled how my cousins came to comfort me; their presence in my life is always felt by me.

If I were to owe people ren qing (人情), I guess this chapter of my life is where I owe the most. I probably cannot repay that debt in this lifetime based on what these people did for me.

~

To TS, only time will heal if you are relying on the internal effort. Life has a sequence of priority; you need to get your sequence of priority in order back. That is what I did previously.

To the observers in reading, if any of your family or friends are facing such obstacles in life, your action or inaction will make a significant difference to them as their external factors. To be our family or friends, "external factor" is the choice that is within our reach.

I don't think we can ever forget someone we once loved. I don’t think that’s even possible, because love leaves a mark on our hearts and memories that shape who we are.

What I do instead is learn to appreciate that experience. It becomes part of my story and growth. Instead of erasing it, I allow it to teach me about myself, about love, and about what I want moving forward.

Over time, the intensity softens, and the memories don’t hurt as much. They turn into something like a quiet wisdom, reminding me that I’ve lived deeply and felt truly.

*

Here's a piece of writing that I always enjoy reading:



May you make peace with the past love that you once had. It's a part of your life journey that enriches you.

The pain will leave once you have learned the lessons and fully appreciate the experience.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Jun 1 2025, 02:45 PM

As most said. Time and distractions. Some even gave their success story that is mainly about rediscovering themselves and having better partners.

Usually the ones that got hurt will learn more valuable life lessons than those that keep taking and walking.

Ur mom is strong... how about ur dad? Usually parents hardly move on from such tragedy....

find another love . ...

amateur number - ended at 36 - after 10 yrs + 5 years kinda best friend uni time.

only time will let you do it

you gonna pay a price if you refuses to let go of a trauma or someone go away in your thought. I used to be extremely beta when it comes to love.

What is love? For me it was basically an attachment that you could not stop thinking about someone and overly obsessed with him or her. You didn't realize just by the fact you obsessing over the person means you're insecure from the start. You probably didn't get the same amount of love from own parents

At least for my memory, my mom used to call me I'm a piece of useless garbage. Along the way of interacting with myself and all the females I hung out, I slowly regain back an objective truth, which is I don't need to prove to someone that whether I'm good or not, cause I'm already good enough.

This is also one of key essence of Buddhism, every human beings on the planet is essentially complete.

Honestly,

For me the easiest way to forget or no longer feel anything to the person is to find a new partner and fall in love with the new partner.

It speed up the process and help you move on faster

2 year since my wife left me and still i cant get her out of my head nor life. my situation is a little tough due to the fact we both share custody over our child so i have no choice but to keep her in my life for the custody exchange.

previous breakup with a girlfriend, decades ago, i learned that friends and time are your best medicine to get over someone, find a new hobby too. get a new routine in your day to day life opposed to what your routine was when you were with her.

sucks if you're over 40 and most of your buddies are already married and have family of their own.... you wouldn't really have much opportunity to rely on your friends to get over her. but hey, time is still your ally.

i'm here for u

hahahaha awwwww sooooo schweeeet

just do what ever you like to do , then you will move on quickly

Time will tell

Find a partner, be it innocent friendship or pure FUBU.

Stick to 1 or changing every now and then, by few months later u will forget about it.

trust me, there are worst things than someone dumped you. like lost your job and you can't support your family.

what to do to try to forget?

1. Watch horror movies, make yourself scared
2. Find another gf...to make you forget her
3. Imagine you got married to her, suddenly kena divorced...then you went back into time with time machine, and you are at this point, where she dumped you. You tell yourself how lucky you are now.
4. Do yoga, pilate to slow down your heart beat and help you meditate your way out
5. Throw away all the things that remind you of her
6. Tell yourself that she dumped you for another guy. SO she's not worth it. By the way, its true.
7. Help out in charity
8. Hang out with friends: if you have any, if not...then don't worry, you can still make it

How is everyone doing ? Is the pain of missing someone lesser now ?

BTW, it is better to be someone who moves on fast (within a year) then someone who don't. More power to them.

lesser now but occasionally it will come back

Go for counselling, can be online or virtual

Plus just keep yourself busy with what ever you love to do

Play online games or play some hobbies instead of relationships and bad memories.
Either way to get new gf everything are good

Even after years it'll come back. You just gotta learn how to move on with this memory.

16 years and counting. It faded but never ever goes away.

2 year and counting. Guess it will never goes away. Just more manageable the feeling but still its there.