As a 37-year-old earning RM8k per month, I've only managed to save RM100k in my savings which i know is insufficient. To ramp up my savings, I've adopted a frugal lifestyle.

However, this has led to tension with my wife, who feels we should enjoy life more and want to take control over our finance.

As a housewife, she is good at taking care our childrens but not in managing finance. i'm hesitant to hand over our finance to her due to her limited experience.

Should i prioritize making my wife happy and risk compromising our financial stability or find alternative solutions to address her concerns?

I'm torn between securing our financial future and maintaining a happy marriage.

Any advice would be appreciated.




Edit : My main question is should i let my wife happy and control our finances, even if it compromises our financial stability?

This post has been edited by Lonelybird: Jan 21 2025, 09:13 PM

Can you explain frugal life style?
Do you not buy meat and only eat eggs?
How frugal is frugal?

Give her half of the savings and let her manage it. If she is happy to spend it, let it be. At least you still have half your savings and a happy wife.

My spending habits tend to be conservative, opting for affordable items, cooking at home, and minimizing vacations.

In contrast, my wife values quality over price, enjoys dining out, and loves taking vacations, leading to differing priorities when it comes to our lifestyle.

Agreed. Maybe by providing more elaborate description of how you would describe as frugal would help.

And let's keep the frame within the end goal of maintaining a healthy relationship rather than "making the wife happy".

As you should find a solution that works for the both of you.

I'll start:

- Let her share on her plans of "how does she want to manage the finance?" i.e. What she plans to do with it (This should come with concrete proof of plan and research i.e. FD based on bank's rate / Stashaway / REITS) etc rather than just "put if somewhere with safe returns".

- Listen out to her, after she is done, gauge on your experience, how valid it is. If its valid and reasonable, you can give her a starting fund, say 25k to manage, instead of all in one shot. Share with her that you would like to start in stages rather than all or none, to help you build your confidence in yourself to let go of some responsibility to her.

>> Also share that since you have been doing this in the longest time, its not easy for you to just let go everything in one shot. But also make sure you listen to her POV. Engage in the conversation when the mood is right i.e. Not right after a major argument / A happy event.

Financial future, you can increase allocation on activities related to her if its necessary

Your answer only to paint your wife in a bad picture to side your own opinion.
If 2 months never even go out to eat kfc one time i think you are the problem.

Is your wife working or ure the only bread winner?

My wife and I are working, I'll allocate about 50% of my salary on our monthly expenses and I save the remaining. My wife, on the other hand, would use her expenses as she likes. We spend on quality things that last and dine out at least once a week. Travel? Once or twice a year. I have about 40k saving only lol.

we eating out 3-4 times every months with the kids.

Has your saving habit changed suddenly, or has it grown gradually over time? if the first, then make sense why she's making a fuss

ask her go out to work, 8k mana cukup

Interesting. Have you not noticed this conflict since when you were dating her?

I started being frugal 3 years ago when i realized i had no savings in the bank.

i used to live by the " you only live once" mindset, spending freely without care.

Until i realized i had no savings, i made a drastic change.

This post has been edited by Lonelybird: Jan 21 2025, 07:33 PM

are you able to earn more? if not, are you willing to meet her in the middle? spend slightly more, e.g. last time save 6k, now save 4k, or 3k since you have 100k edi, not to say that's much but changing your wife is harder, maybe can but it takes very long time, so mean time maybe u can try what I mentioned

U make her happy and make ur self anxiety and depress?

There is a balance which need to be talked out..

Yes i should cut down my monthly savings to make my wife happy.

But that will slow down my retirement plan.

She is your wife for god sake. Talk to her? You've tied the knot with her, everything need to give and take now. It's not just about you. Noticed how in your reply you keep saying MY retirement plan? Shouldn't you be saving up for her and your children as well?

Try explain it nicely to her. If she couldn't see eye to eye with you, you got another issue on your hands my brother....

This post has been edited by ZeneticX: Jan 21 2025, 07:59 PM

Yes, TS should give us a break down of what his expenses are and his saving. Why is he trying to aim for retirement so early? How is TS gonna retire if his wife is not contributing anything.

I splurge on my wife, and I save up on myself. I don't have much saving too. But try to save as much as possible.

You’re at/near the age where if you lost your job, you’re fked.

Your decision to prioritise accumulate wealth is right.

Talk to your wife. Both of you have comprise. Find a middle ground that both of you are comfortable.