Agreed. Maybe by providing more elaborate description of how you would describe as frugal would help.

And let's keep the frame within the end goal of maintaining a healthy relationship rather than "making the wife happy".

As you should find a solution that works for the both of you.

I'll start:

- Let her share on her plans of "how does she want to manage the finance?" i.e. What she plans to do with it (This should come with concrete proof of plan and research i.e. FD based on bank's rate / Stashaway / REITS) etc rather than just "put if somewhere with safe returns".

- Listen out to her, after she is done, gauge on your experience, how valid it is. If its valid and reasonable, you can give her a starting fund, say 25k to manage, instead of all in one shot. Share with her that you would like to start in stages rather than all or none, to help you build your confidence in yourself to let go of some responsibility to her.

>> Also share that since you have been doing this in the longest time, its not easy for you to just let go everything in one shot. But also make sure you listen to her POV. Engage in the conversation when the mood is right i.e. Not right after a major argument / A happy event.

As a former counsellor, I would strongly advise you against consciously or unconsciously using the forum as a place to "vent" or to "gather support" or to "find agreeable voices" if your end goal is to look for solutions that is genuine to solve problems as a pair of husband and wife.

People in general, do not take the time to understand enough the stories from both sides and tend to find the need of taking sides as well.

Many cases ended up with relationship in jeopardy because one side "gains" the support of the "general public", vented out during argument, let ego took the better of him/her, and eventually led to a disastrous and deteriorating relationship.

I would like to reiterate, that your goal, is to find solution. It might take an considerable effort, sometimes also compromise. But on the flipside, this decision on how to handle the dilemma, is as important, if not more important than your initial decision to take the marriage pathway.

It is normal and okay to vent out your frustration and make your standpoint heard. But from what I have been reading up and following up, it seems that the snowball might have begun. I would implore you to explore further on how to communicate and understand each other.

Hope it helps and wishing you all the best. Take sometime to calm your thoughts down and take a deep breath, focus on listening to each other. It might not work on the first try, it might even take a few tries, but this is the part of a healthy relationship that is not glamorous yet necessary.

Agreed in the sense that should not buy a house out of the blue without much research.

Should definitely do THOROUGH research before going into a significant long term commitment