From the different branch of thought, yet you are able to arrive to such point. I got no further input, hence I'll be excusing myself from here. TQ 🙏

Hahaha... well, I have an explanation for that. Generally, men are box thinkers, while women are wire thinkers.


Hehe 😁

If you are referring to the majority male, I do not have comment for that. I cannot represent the other. I can only represent myself and it is slightly different. I see the repeated patterns in almost anything, the nature has it own ways to send the "hidden message". The pattern being observed in an aspect can be utilized / exploited in the other aspect of life. Hence, the box thinker may not correctly define it. It is mirroring all over places.

2ndly, your bravery to dish out the compliments knowing that there is possibility of being misunderstand is admirable quality. How people react or non-react, it doesn't matter. The most important, you yourself being happy doing what makes yourself feeling at ease. Don't focus too much on other ppl opinion.

Thing that was inside my mind last week, based on the theme of "good problem" :-

If it’s a "good problem", then why bother explaining?
If we can accept it is part & parcel of life, then why still worry?
If the misunderstanding causes no harm, then why bother to intervene?
If the other person's mind is not within one's control, then why bother to guess?

Perhaps it is the inner voice of someone? Has he/she become the "good problem" himself/herself?
Ahh…doesn’t it sound like a new "good problem" at the opposing view when the guessing starts?
A repeated cycle of trapped minds in the "good problem" now restarts over,
It doesn't look like the wrongly used words selection; it was done correctly.
If the reader wants to misunderstand, then what might I have to stop them?

But being human, misunderstanding is part of life,
Even if it's not caused by compliments, there will be other causes of misunderstanding as well,
What's meant to happen can't be avoided,
Hence, why not just appreciate the beauty of being misunderstood in silence?

~

Just read it in the context as an art work. Have a good day ahead.

If you look back, my initial thought was about not wanting guys to mistake compliments for romantic interest.

I believe that giving compliments shouldn't automatically be seen as a signal of romantic affection from the opposite sex.

However, if guys misinterpret my intention and pursue me or confess their feelings, then it presents a situation ("good problem") I need to navigate.

Personally, I feel uncomfortable when I have to reject someone or when I can't reciprocate their feelings. This is the part that bothers me, not the act of giving compliments.

I genuinely don’t think there's anything wrong with offering compliments—they’re just a kind and genuine gesture.

Two separate but related matters here.

Essentially, it’s a cause-and-effect situation. Just because we can't control the effects doesn't mean we should eliminate the good cause, or don't do anything to reduce the unwanted effects.

Doesn't sound like depression. Still kicking alive mind.

I saw someone doing act of kindness with a new mask in other thread. Fabricated lie for good. haha

Reject or act nonchalant - problem solve. Overthinking is the issue.

True story. Got over it already years ago. That's why getting more admirers; resilience + radiance.

As to why I’ve become more self-aware or uncomfortable with rejecting someone or being unable to reciprocate, it’s because I’ve recently delved deeper into the concept of karma in relationships. This touches on the spiritual and philosophical side of things.

I have questions like:

> If a guy likes me and I break his heart, will this create bad karma for me?
> Will hurting someone who loves me affect my own chances of finding love?
> Could rejecting someone create negative energy that comes back to me?
> Does breaking someone's heart mean I’ll experience similar pain in the future?
> Am I creating unresolved karma that might come back in another form?

These thoughts make me more cautious about how I engage in current/future relationships.

The "overthinking" happens because of multiple incidents with several men in my life. Long story. I think I have unresolved karma and energetic entanglements with them. I'm not a Buddhist, but all the odd things that have been happening made me explore the concept further.

> If a guy likes me and I break his heart, will this create bad karma for me?
> Will hurting someone who loves me affect my own chances of finding love?
> Could rejecting someone create negative energy that comes back to me?
> Does breaking someone's heart mean I’ll experience similar pain in the future?
> Am I creating unresolved karma that might come back in another form?

Logical real-life observation (few cases) from my angle - it won't. Not everything can explain using karma. If really karma can be used in wide range of aspects, then if got 100 ppl showing interest, 100 karmas are created unwillingly? Life must be very inconvenient to worry about the 100 unwanted karma. If the ill intention is present, then yes, be wary of it.

Just look at the ppl who rejected other ppl without the ill intention, do they really experience such bad karma on such rejection? Those ppl are still blessed because they are not the originator of the desires. The one without the desire, what harm can come to them?

The Buddhist's philosophical side, let the other Buddhist participant to give their view.

You're on a bad path

Its ok to be considerate, but at the same time you can't think too much about not hurting/offending people. If you do so, you end up walking on egg shells or at best just come off as insincere. Your true self gets suppressed and in turn you signal/attract the wrong people. Then you'll get even more cautious and a nasty downward spiral forms.

Be true to yourself, even if ends up hurting other people. As long as you come from a place of truth and honesty, your conscience will be clear.

Thanks for raising these important points about intention behind rejection. I've been thinking about it and examining my conscience... and I think I didn't do anything bad to those guys nor give any false hopes.

I suppose I was just feeling bad that some guys were unable to move on (but again, it was their personal choices?), while some guys could move on, get married and have kids (and I felt happy for them).

Being overly considerate is my 'INFJ weakness'. I got lectured a few times by ex and former coach for not being 'selfish' enough. They both wanted me to learn to prioritise myself, and don't think so much about other people.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Jan 16 2025, 11:23 PM

This one for paktor couple la

"Your hairstyle looks great on you. It suits your face shape and body. Where did you get your hair cut?"
"You seem to be a responsible, hardworking, and kind man. I’m sure there are women who appreciate these qualities in you."

These 2 lines probably a no no
lesser words are better for norm fren fren type
Talk too much would feel like flirting...
These sentences comes with twisting words. nope

Great
Good job
Thanks

good enough

This post has been edited by taitianhin: Jan 16 2025, 11:30 PM

It's about how you deliver the message and maturity level of the guys on receiving end. The older the guy, shorter the message should be. Men are simple.

Example: Good job.

This post has been edited by Chisinlouz: Jan 20 2025, 10:17 PM