Its very depend.

I prefer action more that word.

Honestly just drink and say stupid things to move away from the topic. Men hate pity words... make him sounds weak or even more insecure. If he goes do you like me then, what will you do? Its just a mess.

3 issues present.

(1)Single female complimenting male vs (2)gf/wife complimenting male should be 2 separate issues. (3)The blushing part is another issue.

The gf/wife to compliment other men (not their bf/husband), this part sound like a disaster in the making but it is not something that is within the bf/husband's control. If one day the gf/wife notices something wrong with their relationship because they are complimenting other men, just revisit this parameter. I could be wrong or right but my intuition is telling me, I'll be 100% right for most cases.

1)Single female complimenting the male:

Was it purely due the way/words of complimenting, that leads to the misunderstanding or it could be something else ? Would you be able to eliminate the other possibilities and arrive at the point? If you can't, then why focus on way/words of compliment?

What about the sample of the men that have misunderstood the compliment before? What were their characteristics ?

I rather believe it should not be the first time, not 2nd times, more likely multiple times. Whenever the undesired outcomes took place, there is tendency to adjust the input parameters and expect the change to the outputs. If the inputs keep changing but the output remained the same, the reason could be point to the constant parameter, not the variable parameters. The constant parameter, you need to find it out yourself.

If I were female, I'll not give any room for misunderstanding. Don't compliment, you will totally eliminate the possible trouble. There are other way to spread the kindness & uplift man without having to be directly doing it.

Just an example how to spread kindness indirectly based on what I can recalled. An individual (said the mother / wife / gf), visiting the prayer house / temple for offering/prayer earlier in the morning. The prayer house / temple 's keeper is someone who know the family in person. Later when the son / husband / bf come to prayer, the prayer house / temple keeper can verbally tell the son/husband/bf "Your mother / wife / gf was here this morning, she praying for you". Uplifting ppl can be carried out indirectly just like the act by the prayer house / temple's keeper.

Another alternative, if the single female still want to compliment the male directly and cannot find way to do it indirectly. Stop when you notice there is fluctuation of emotion (provided you can sense/feel the emotional fluctuation). The fluctuation of emotion is the sign of the trouble being born.

2)If the gf / wife is complimenting their bf / husband:

When you are spending the time together, secretly take some photos of your bf/husband without them noticing. In near future, when you notice your bf/ husband are in stress or demotivated mode but you can't be there or you don't know what is in their mind and you don't know what to say, just post their photo that you secretly took on your FB / Instagram stories & tag them. This simple action without having put/say any word has multifold positive effects. It implies you are cheering for them silently in a very genuine way. Some ppl is fully aware, it is just too hard to put the words/ say something hence use the visual as the substitute to represent words. "A picture is worth a thousand words".

This one strictly for those in relationship within their relationship.

3)The male blushing when being complimented

For the majority cases, ppl can generalize blushing reaction implies that the individual is attracted to you physically but do not eliminate the possibility that you could be dealing with hyper shy individual, who can blush (almost everything) even among the same gender or with the elderly ppl. If such individual can blushes among same gender or with the elderly ppl, you cannot use the same reason & conclude that, this individual attracted to the same gender or the elderly ppl - no, they don't. Such individual can blush as long as they are caught in surprise/unprepared scenario. Such ppl exists among us in the society, just you have yet to have chance to meet one it doesn't they don't exist. Both female and male version exists.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 7 2025, 05:53 PM

For me i got no complaints nor I feel awkward when I get compliment.. Rule of thumb I always say thank you.

But it ll make my day since I'm very straight forward person wahaha

Usually, I just let the guy talk and acknowledge his feelings. I find that ending with a bit of encouragement works best. I’m aware that men have their pride, so I tend not to say too much and simply offer a listening ear.

Just as women don’t like men to 'fix' their problems, I believe men also don’t need women to fix theirs. Sometimes, they just want someone who will listen without judgment. My role is just to be there and reaffirm as needed.

Thanks for your detailed breakdown. You've really thought things through and raised some valid points.

After reflecting on your insights, I think the relationship dynamics between women and men largely influence whether compliments are misunderstood or not. Other factors such as timing, setting, the choice of words, and individual personalities also play a big role.

For example,

1) Relationship dynamics: If a single woman compliments a single man with no romantic interest between them, it’s more likely to be seen as friendly. But if one party has romantic feelings, even a neutral compliment could be interpreted as attraction.

2) Timing: A compliment given during a vulnerable moment, like after a breakup, might be taken more seriously, with the man thinking it’s a sign of comfort or interest. However, the same compliment in a casual setting would likely come across as simple friendliness.

3) Setting: Compliments in private may feel more intimate, while those given in a public space seem lighter and more casual.

4) Choice of words: If a woman says, “You look great today,” there could be a risk of it being misinterpreted if there’s romantic tension. But something like, “You did a great job on that presentation,” focuses on his skills, reducing the chance of it being taken as anything more.

5) Personality: A shy or reserved person might overthink a compliment, reading into it more deeply, whereas someone more confident might take it at face value.

Of course there are other factors as well, but I think these 5 should be good enough for women to consider how to structure their compliments for men.

I think it goes both ways too—how men should compliment women without being misunderstood.

Men are simple creatures

The following compliments are perhaps more suited towards women.

"Your hairstyle looks great on you. It suits your face shape and body. Where did you get your hair cut?"

"You seem to be a responsible, hardworking, and kind man. I’m sure there are women who appreciate these qualities in you."

To compliment men without flirting, just say something simple.

""Your hairstyle looks good"

"You are a responsible and hardworking man"

I think it goes both ways too —how men should compliment women without being misunderstood.

Oh, a reverse position thinking. Points noted - thank you for the lesson.

If the men are aware that they are able to create such misunderstanding, I rather believe men will abuse it to the maximum scale. If they are not abusing it, then it could be the genuine error.



5) Personality: A shy or reserved person might overthink a compliment, reading into it more deeply, whereas someone more confident might take it at face value.

Fortunately is it a "might" word selection. Then we should just let it be "might" be overthinking, etc. This view, I do not want to distort it with my point of view. Just let shy or reserved person being stereotyped as such. There is beauty in being misunderstood, not everything need to be made to be understood. If all the things can be understood, then the one doing psychology study must be very boring, by reading the past records only, leave them some hard task to explore.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 8 2025, 02:54 PM

Just general observation at schools, universities, workplaces, friendships, social media... usually women tend to give more compliments than men.

There were also some research papers done on the gender differences in giving and receiving compliments, but mostly from early/late 2000s, with cultures and nationalities being factored into consideration.

Yeah, it depends on how frequently the shy person receives compliments. If it's a rare occasion, then he/she might overthink. Every person has his/her own unique experiences with receiving compliments, so it's hard to say who would overthink or who wouldn't.

Nonetheless, I still think it's good to give compliments thoughtfully.



This post has been edited by Ralna: Jan 8 2025, 04:19 PM

Ultimately there’s no one way or template to compliment a person as the relationship between you and the other party would be different (bf, love interest, colleague, long time friend, family). And human are so unique and complex and ChatGPT won’t be able to cover all. (Would advise TS to not too obsess of using AI) As a general rule just no back handed compliment or sarcasm then it should be fine. As for how the person will perceive, it really is up to them and you overthinking it won’t change a thing.

As for your friend not able to get any girls does not need any pity words. He definitely knows what he’s good at and that’s not the issue at all. The problem with him are the qualities that he lacks of (might be rude personality, stingy, degrade women or even talk very awkward… that turn people off). Sides of him that you might not know of him due not close enough to know… or it’s something you know but not willing to tell him due to not wanting to ruin the friendship.

Retraced 🙏. Life is simple, let discussion ended in simpler way.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 9 2025, 05:03 AM

ehhh your analysis was thought-provoking leh. I had been thinking what to reply.

You definitely have depth and intellect. Always enjoy reading your perspectives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the topic.

If a thought is doing more harm than good, then it is better for the thought not to come to surface. This world needs more kind & innocent souls to spread the kindness. My earlier thoughts could have counter effect on spreading the act of kindness. Hence, it would be better for it to be removed from the public.

My apologies 🙏 again.

if the man does not usually receive compliments will be very happy & think maybe i got a chance with this girl.
vice versa, just normal only. no feeling.

but in general, just a simple good job, nice shirt or nice haircut is good enough.

Wow! I'm impressed. You're really humble and self-aware with metacognition.

Your kindness is a plus point. It's one of the qualities that women appreciate.

I think I know what's my "problem" now.

I'm quite visual and attracted to men who are muscular, dress well with cool hairstyle. When this happens, my compliment becomes more detailed and descriptive and may sound flirty to the guy, although my intention isn't to be in a relationship to him. It's just purely admiring his body shape, physical appearance, and fashion style from aesthetic POV.

& yes, those guys did feel super flattered, and then they would always dress well and work out more. haha~

🙏 TQ.

I'm more expressive than selective. If a person (man or woman) deserves a compliment, I'd say it.

Not really complaining though. If a guy overthinks and develops feelings for me, it's actually a "good problem" to have. I don't mind having more admirers. Lol.

A different way of doing thing from the different individual. In the end, you actually enjoys being misunderstood

"Good problem", I like this concept.....unimaginable the ideas in my head (better to remain in my head only, lol ).

Then, wish you enjoy your days getting more "good problem".

I have an authentic and relaxed approach to life. When I give compliments, I express what I think and feel sincerely, naturally, and openly.

But if a guy overthinks (due to whatever reasons), it's not something I can control.

I can try to reduce misunderstanding (with the 5 discussed factors considered), but if he still develops feelings, then perhaps it's something he can explore further with me.

Although, in the end, I might or might not develop feelings for the guy, it's still a "good problem" to have because I have stayed true to myself, my feelings and thoughts by speaking out my mind and heart where compliments are due.

The ratio of making someone happy vs being misunderstood is about 9:1. The low probability of being misunderstood is manageable for me, although it's best if it's totally 0.

But being human, misunderstanding is part of life. Even if it's not caused by compliments, there will be other causes of misunderstanding as well. What's meant to happen can't be avoided.