3 issues present.

(1)Single female complimenting male vs (2)gf/wife complimenting male should be 2 separate issues. (3)The blushing part is another issue.

The gf/wife to compliment other men (not their bf/husband), this part sound like a disaster in the making but it is not something that is within the bf/husband's control. If one day the gf/wife notices something wrong with their relationship because they are complimenting other men, just revisit this parameter. I could be wrong or right but my intuition is telling me, I'll be 100% right for most cases.

1)Single female complimenting the male:

Was it purely due the way/words of complimenting, that leads to the misunderstanding or it could be something else ? Would you be able to eliminate the other possibilities and arrive at the point? If you can't, then why focus on way/words of compliment?

What about the sample of the men that have misunderstood the compliment before? What were their characteristics ?

I rather believe it should not be the first time, not 2nd times, more likely multiple times. Whenever the undesired outcomes took place, there is tendency to adjust the input parameters and expect the change to the outputs. If the inputs keep changing but the output remained the same, the reason could be point to the constant parameter, not the variable parameters. The constant parameter, you need to find it out yourself.

If I were female, I'll not give any room for misunderstanding. Don't compliment, you will totally eliminate the possible trouble. There are other way to spread the kindness & uplift man without having to be directly doing it.

Just an example how to spread kindness indirectly based on what I can recalled. An individual (said the mother / wife / gf), visiting the prayer house / temple for offering/prayer earlier in the morning. The prayer house / temple 's keeper is someone who know the family in person. Later when the son / husband / bf come to prayer, the prayer house / temple keeper can verbally tell the son/husband/bf "Your mother / wife / gf was here this morning, she praying for you". Uplifting ppl can be carried out indirectly just like the act by the prayer house / temple's keeper.

Another alternative, if the single female still want to compliment the male directly and cannot find way to do it indirectly. Stop when you notice there is fluctuation of emotion (provided you can sense/feel the emotional fluctuation). The fluctuation of emotion is the sign of the trouble being born.

2)If the gf / wife is complimenting their bf / husband:

When you are spending the time together, secretly take some photos of your bf/husband without them noticing. In near future, when you notice your bf/ husband are in stress or demotivated mode but you can't be there or you don't know what is in their mind and you don't know what to say, just post their photo that you secretly took on your FB / Instagram stories & tag them. This simple action without having put/say any word has multifold positive effects. It implies you are cheering for them silently in a very genuine way. Some ppl is fully aware, it is just too hard to put the words/ say something hence use the visual as the substitute to represent words. "A picture is worth a thousand words".

This one strictly for those in relationship within their relationship.

3)The male blushing when being complimented

For the majority cases, ppl can generalize blushing reaction implies that the individual is attracted to you physically but do not eliminate the possibility that you could be dealing with hyper shy individual, who can blush (almost everything) even among the same gender or with the elderly ppl. If such individual can blushes among same gender or with the elderly ppl, you cannot use the same reason & conclude that, this individual attracted to the same gender or the elderly ppl - no, they don't. Such individual can blush as long as they are caught in surprise/unprepared scenario. Such ppl exists among us in the society, just you have yet to have chance to meet one it doesn't they don't exist. Both female and male version exists.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 7 2025, 05:53 PM

I think it goes both ways too —how men should compliment women without being misunderstood.

Oh, a reverse position thinking. Points noted - thank you for the lesson.

If the men are aware that they are able to create such misunderstanding, I rather believe men will abuse it to the maximum scale. If they are not abusing it, then it could be the genuine error.



5) Personality: A shy or reserved person might overthink a compliment, reading into it more deeply, whereas someone more confident might take it at face value.

Fortunately is it a "might" word selection. Then we should just let it be "might" be overthinking, etc. This view, I do not want to distort it with my point of view. Just let shy or reserved person being stereotyped as such. There is beauty in being misunderstood, not everything need to be made to be understood. If all the things can be understood, then the one doing psychology study must be very boring, by reading the past records only, leave them some hard task to explore.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 8 2025, 02:54 PM

Retraced 🙏. Life is simple, let discussion ended in simpler way.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 9 2025, 05:03 AM

If a thought is doing more harm than good, then it is better for the thought not to come to surface. This world needs more kind & innocent souls to spread the kindness. My earlier thoughts could have counter effect on spreading the act of kindness. Hence, it would be better for it to be removed from the public.

My apologies 🙏 again.

🙏 TQ.

A different way of doing thing from the different individual. In the end, you actually enjoys being misunderstood

"Good problem", I like this concept.....unimaginable the ideas in my head (better to remain in my head only, lol ).

Then, wish you enjoy your days getting more "good problem".

From the different branch of thought, yet you are able to arrive to such point. I got no further input, hence I'll be excusing myself from here. TQ 🙏

If you are referring to the majority male, I do not have comment for that. I cannot represent the other. I can only represent myself and it is slightly different. I see the repeated patterns in almost anything, the nature has it own ways to send the "hidden message". The pattern being observed in an aspect can be utilized / exploited in the other aspect of life. Hence, the box thinker may not correctly define it. It is mirroring all over places.

2ndly, your bravery to dish out the compliments knowing that there is possibility of being misunderstand is admirable quality. How people react or non-react, it doesn't matter. The most important, you yourself being happy doing what makes yourself feeling at ease. Don't focus too much on other ppl opinion.

Thing that was inside my mind last week, based on the theme of "good problem" :-

If it’s a "good problem", then why bother explaining?
If we can accept it is part & parcel of life, then why still worry?
If the misunderstanding causes no harm, then why bother to intervene?
If the other person's mind is not within one's control, then why bother to guess?

Perhaps it is the inner voice of someone? Has he/she become the "good problem" himself/herself?
Ahh…doesn’t it sound like a new "good problem" at the opposing view when the guessing starts?
A repeated cycle of trapped minds in the "good problem" now restarts over,
It doesn't look like the wrongly used words selection; it was done correctly.
If the reader wants to misunderstand, then what might I have to stop them?

But being human, misunderstanding is part of life,
Even if it's not caused by compliments, there will be other causes of misunderstanding as well,
What's meant to happen can't be avoided,
Hence, why not just appreciate the beauty of being misunderstood in silence?

~

Just read it in the context as an art work. Have a good day ahead.

Doesn't sound like depression. Still kicking alive mind.

I saw someone doing act of kindness with a new mask in other thread. Fabricated lie for good. haha

Reject or act nonchalant - problem solve. Overthinking is the issue.

> If a guy likes me and I break his heart, will this create bad karma for me?
> Will hurting someone who loves me affect my own chances of finding love?
> Could rejecting someone create negative energy that comes back to me?
> Does breaking someone's heart mean I’ll experience similar pain in the future?
> Am I creating unresolved karma that might come back in another form?

Logical real-life observation (few cases) from my angle - it won't. Not everything can explain using karma. If really karma can be used in wide range of aspects, then if got 100 ppl showing interest, 100 karmas are created unwillingly? Life must be very inconvenient to worry about the 100 unwanted karma. If the ill intention is present, then yes, be wary of it.

Just look at the ppl who rejected other ppl without the ill intention, do they really experience such bad karma on such rejection? Those ppl are still blessed because they are not the originator of the desires. The one without the desire, what harm can come to them?

The Buddhist's philosophical side, let the other Buddhist participant to give their view.