I have a random thought and want to ask for some advice or opinions.

I’m aware that men often don’t receive enough compliments.

As a woman, I do notice the fine qualities or good deeds some men do, but how can I compliment them without giving the wrong impression?

It’s purely out of appreciation and acknowledgment, not romantic affection.

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Some examples of compliments I give men:

"Your hairstyle looks great on you. It suits your face shape and body. Where did you get your hair cut?"

"You seem to be a responsible, hardworking, and kind man. I’m sure there are women who appreciate these qualities in you."

However, I’m not sure if there are better ways to word my compliments, or if the way I word them is already good enough. 🤔

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Maybe you (men) could offer some input on the kinds of compliments you’d like to hear from women.

I think it could encourage female friends, or girlfriends/wives, to compliment men more.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Jan 15 2025, 01:38 AM

might be relevant to you or...not

never ever say that...sounds like friendzoned

Never felt the need for any compliment.... men are different from women.

No need for compliment. If he did great he will know it himself if you go and compliment him that will lead to misunderstanding

This post has been edited by Captain89: Jan 5 2025, 11:54 PM

Compliment like how a dude would compliment, otherwise you'll be misunderstood as flirting. I know its sad, but its a social thing that you can't change as a single person. So just play the game as it is.

"Your hairstyle looks great on you. It suits your face shape and body. Where did you get your hair cut?"
Guy version: "Wah, finally got a gf? Suddenly look so good"

"You seem to be a responsible, hardworking, and kind man. I’m sure there are women who appreciate these qualities in you."
This is actually a backhanded compliment. When you say "there are women who would appreciate in you", you're also saying you don't. Which is an indirect rejection or a soft put-down.

I myself as a dude have not gotten many compliments. Some of the ones I get are my eyes; but the one that has gotten me through some hard times is "you'll be a good dad". Was said to me by my female bestie during our early 20s.

haha... depends on the context la

Say, if the guy is complaining about why he can't find a gf and feeling frustrated, then my compliment should give him some reassurance? (Just to make him feel better although I'm not the one who likes him as I don't feel we're compatible.)

Yeah, that's the thing. It's so hard to compliment men without getting misunderstood -- especially if you're a single lady.

That's why I usually just use emojis or stickers on FB and WA and some short phrases like "Good job!" "Well-done!" (if I'm not close to the guy I'm complimenting), although deep down I would like to write longer about his excellent traits or deeds to sincerely encourage or reaffirm. Haih.

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From a woman's POV, if I say "Wah, finally got a gf? Suddenly look so good", it might feel awkward if the guy doesn't actually have a gf yet. So, I'd rather not say it this way.

As for backhanded compliment, it depends on context, e.g. if the guy likes a girl but kena rejected, or if he laments that no girls like him, then I would say something along these lines.

I usually avoid saying "I appreciate these qualities in you"... later the guy likes me pulak.

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Other compliments... how I structure them, is like:

Me: "Has anyone told you before your voice is deep and masculine? Sounds smooth and soothing to the ear."
Then the guy was like, "Really?" and he looked so happy with a broad smile.

Me: "Wah, you have broad shoulders. Quite muscular. Do you work out often?"
Then the guy felt happy and said yes, he did. Then he worked out more often. haha~

So far, I said these to some of my long-time male friends, and those words didn't cause any misunderstanding (I hope? because we ended the conversation then and there; no further pursuits from those men), so I assume they're fine.

But if I am meeting new guys, then I obviously won't say such things UNLESS I want to flirt with him. LOL



This post has been edited by Ralna: Jan 6 2025, 12:47 AM

Man don't need compliment.. it created confusion more...

Why not? Men deserve credit where it’s due.

Come to think of it, I suppose Asian men might be receiving fewer compliments compared to their Western counterparts, which could explain some of the confusion...?

What is the relationship like? friend , colleague ?

It also very depend on the receiver perception. . I do receive sometimes, but i know is just a compliment, but some of my friend might think it differently.

Add "bro" at the end.

Nice outfit, bro.
Nice cock, bro.

Sadly we also don't view those basic emoji/stickers/phrases as compliments. We consider it as just politeness. Won't have much impact on how we feel about what we do.


Won't be awkward, cause he'll catch on that you acknowledged his efforts in looking good. Whether got gf or not doesn't matter, guys don't think so deep in conversations. In fact he'll feel like now he looks good enough to get a gf


That's the problem lor haha

He will feel that all girls also think like you, which means no girl desires him. So in the end, did he feel complimented? or just put down?


These compliments sound good, and I think it works because there's an established friendship boundary already. Like you realised, if you said this to a guy you're not close with, it would have been taken the wrong way.

Nah, this is a worldwide problem for men.

To be honest that sounds very forceful 🤣 even men to men that are not close doesn’t to be called bro

This post has been edited by fearless_kiki: Jan 6 2025, 01:09 PM

- Thanks for your explanation. Helps a lot. ^^

- Ya, that's the thing. I feel the emoji + short phrases don't convey what I actually want to say. That's why I'm figuring out how to go about it by asking for advice/opinions here.

- I suppose it's better to focus on "you", instead of using "I" or mentioning other women, since it might trigger overthinking in men. Among women, we always comfort each other saying "I’m sure there are men who appreciate these qualities in you", but I guess it's not appropriate if women say the same to men ("I’m sure there are women who appreciate these qualities in you.")-- probably makes them feel friendzoned hor. Gender differences.

- Quite sad lor to see men don't get enough compliments. For me (maybe because of my profession in education/higher edu + my personality), I always praise my students and encourage them a lot, so in my own personal interactions, I tend to praise and acknowledge efforts from my friends and family too. It's just something natural for me to do, and not being able to give sincere compliments to deserving men is a bit unfair for them.

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How about these suggestions from ChatGPT?

For fitness or workout photos:
"That’s impressive progress. Consistency really shows."
"Great work on your fitness goals. Looks like all the effort is paying off."
"Your dedication to fitness is really inspiring! You've clearly put in a lot of work, and it shows."

For good deeds or actions:
"Nice job handling that. It’s great to see you take initiative."
"That’s a solid effort. It’s always good to see people stepping up."
"That's really admirable, how you handled that situation. You have a strong sense of responsibility and care."

For general qualities or achievements:
"Such a strong work ethic. Dedication really stands out."
"You’ve got a good work ethic. It’s clear you’re dedicated."
"Your work ethic is impressive. It's clear you're someone who takes pride in what you do."

plus an emoji ( or or )... like this?

Good enough kah?

Actually there’s no need to have any difference for platonic male or female relationships when it comes to giving compliments. Especially the male breed doesn’t think too much like females do. Just be sincere about your compliments? It shows. No need the extra extra remarks. Anything extra will sound fake and people could sense that. If you would like to elaborate, you may elaborate generally.

Eg: you raised your daughter well. She’s very responsible of her younger siblings.

Eg: you look better with the new hairstyle compared to the previous one. You look more vibrant, energetic. Hairstyles really can change a person’s image

I agree with the others about the bold statement that it sounds like a backhanded compliment. Also what is the reason of this statement?

- Yeah, but I tend to personalise my compliments instead of being general and neutral, if I am to be genuine with heartfelt sincerity. This is when I am more conscious of giving the wrong impression.

- Already explained earlier to Silverhawk: "As for backhanded compliment, it depends on context, e.g. if the guy likes a girl but kena rejected, or if he laments that no girls like him, then I would say something along these lines."

I don't suddenly drop those lines to a guy. More like compliment + some words of comfort when he's frustrated that women keep rejecting him. If it's not comfortable for him, then what should I say? "Just keep looking and you'll meet the girl who appreciates you"? (Maybe this sounds more positive 🤔)

Hmm, I've never thought about it that way (I vs You), but does seem you're right.

When you target the compliment as a "you" then its an acknowledgement of the result of his efforts. It has built him up to be better. So the content of the compliment matters, unlike for women the actual content of the compliment is less important, but its the emotional/social support that is the priority. Hence when women compliment/support, it comes from an "I" perspective.


Emojis are not necessary imo, but these suggestions are in the right ballpark. Some are a little greeting card like.

Yeah, I'll go with "you" compliments now for men and see if it works well in expressing what I want to say.

Thanks for your valuable input. Helped me think further. ^^

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/14rMEk5bE3/

Sorry can't get the embed to work. But I think this is one of the best explainer videos why men cheat. Relevant to this conversation.

This post has been edited by Sihambodoh: Jan 7 2025, 12:36 AM