Recently, I've grown quite close to a girl I know through a friend. Unfortunately, I discovered that she has a boyfriend. She mentioned that their relationship is unstable, and she doesn't see him as marriage material. Upon learning about her relationship status, I initially attempted to distance myself. However, she unexpectedly came closer, and make it quite clear that she's interested in me but hesitant because she feels she doesn't know me well enough yet.

should I go for it or give up?

seriously, this girl also not a good target. If she can do it to the "current" boyfriend, she can also do that to you next time...

Girls like this are opportunistic. Always looking out for better opportunities while stringing along their current bfs.

If you be with her, she will appear to be happy with you while finding your replacement.

I despise people who don't end relationships until they find a replacement.

She is not single. She should initiate break up first, especially if it's unstable relationship.

This post has been edited by Natsukashii: Mar 26 2024, 03:56 PM

Short answer: No.

If you die2 wanna yolo, yeah, "make use" of the opportunity u get with her now. Be prepared with the consequences later.

As others has pointed out, if she can do it to her current bf, she can do it with u too. No exceptions. Been there, done that.

TS I know this is not /k, but one other suggestion is to piap, and then run.

I would rate the girl to be smart, mati2 stick to a sinking ship is quite stupid.
And is it not wiser to look for smart partner instead of a stupid 1?

Why not? Havent get married jew still have chance.

Or just get piap also enjoy it while it lasts.


Just dont invest much and lower ur expectation else jew just gonna heartbreak

Why not think positively?

God sent u to save her from hell.

a lot of girls have bf but they refuse to break up with him, maybe that guy knew she hooks up with other guys outside just chose not to care.

its open market anyway, dont take it personally
work on your smv and fuck some bitches, dont take life seriously

Honestly? No, you should give up.

Because you will never have a sure answer to the questions below:

1. Are you sure that you are not the "backup plan" because now her situation is deemed as 'bad' or 'unstable'? What if the girl made it pass the rough period and returns to good terms with the boyfriend?

2. Are you sure that the boyfriend is never going to change? I have seen some situations when the boyfriend suddenly proposes and the girl 180' turn back into lovey dovey with the boyfriend.

MOST IMPORTANTLY

3. Say if she is into you and got closer while she is in a relationship, what makes you think that she won't do the same to you once you are in a relationship with her and gets into the same rough patch?

So yeah, go figure.

Apa sarahan? Used and be used that is common.

If u have something to hook her forever then its ur strength.
Even merried still can divorce. Nothing is impossible.

Be positive.

that guy is not fully red pill yet, its fine

Not everyone believes in your worldview of use and be used. It is a sad worldview.

If you think its sad, its sad
If you think rich people money is dirty money, its dirty

you can choose to live in your small cave

And you continue to move from one bitch to another.

U have to find out is it her fault or her bf from 3rd party point of view.

Like some pointed out, she can be opportunistic, but she might also deserve 2nd chance if her bf was really shit.

The question is would you be able to find out and get a convincing answer as to why she have no interest with him anymore?

She told me her boyfriend does not treat her well. But I can't figure out why she hasn't broken up with him if that's the case.

Poor ppl say money is not everything, but rich ppl say money can buy anything.

Its nicer to cry in lamboghini than crying in kancil

I would prefer a more honest explanation that put herself a part to be blamed that cause the relationship turned sour.
If she say it is all the boy fault and her only mistake is choosing him, then she is very self entitled.

Well we can't be judge for you, this require you to analyze yourself, we can only give guide. If you feel any ambiguity with her explanation not willing to be more transparent with you, that unknown can be dangerous for you to commit in to the relationship.

In the end of the day no right or wrong, it also depends on what u seek in a relationships, she said he wasn't a husband material, but do you see herself a waifu material as well? Or just an opportunistic?

Regardless why, if u can be the reason then u are da man

Let her break up first then go for it

The issue is not about money now. Let's not delve into the topic of money shall we? I rather not compare networth and then hksgmy comes in and trash us both.

The issue of concern is about moving from one girl to another which you seem to be very much aligned with our resident red piller. I used to think like you, bla bla hypergamy, PUA.

After doing all those shit for a while, it feels sad. Everything is a competition. Everything is transactional.

But it's your life, so you live your life mang.

you don't need to figure
all you have to do is take actions when she gives signals
back off when she refuses
two steps forward, one step back
when it comes to dating and attraction
esp at the beginning of a relationship
throw your man logic our of window for awhile

hold the frame
be fun, and mysterious
show her you can be busy and able to get other girls
until she ask the golden question "what are we now?"

Then you did it the wrong way

Maybe, but no regrets leaving that life. Meaningless.

I’m a poorfag bro… I just bought 256Gb of iPhone 15 Pro and 15 Pro Max (for inflight delivery) which officially categorises me as poorfag.

No la brader. Pakai iPhone means rich. I use cinaphone only.

what meaningless?
sex is the only element that satisfies human five senses
eye (beauty)
ear (girl moan)
nose (body smell)
tongue (cunnilingus)
body (exchange of body fluid, touches)
will (intention of so call romantic 'connection)

Its the best thing a human being can possibly experience.

Morally speaking no. But life is more than black or white. It all depends on how much you feel about her. If you believe she is worth it, then go for it. Life waits for no man. Relationship is about feelings. If you feels strongly for her, just go and get her. Don't care about her bf and what not. If you think you can live without her, then let her go.

Not denying and totally agree. But like food, water, security, sex is a primal and biological need. Some would even say, animalistic. As modern humang beings. surely there are things beyond sex to give meaning in life no?

Not saying I don't enjoy sex. Different people find meaning in different ways.

Let's not derail the topic to a philosophical discourse. TS needs help

Mehhhh ayam use Note 20U only. 4 years old phone.

the things that give meaning to beyond basic needs are transactional
I thought you mentioned dont want transactions?
animals, plants or even the sun gives you sunlight with unconditional love, but human beings like to separate between a good girl and a slut.

Irony being a human

Love has been and always was based on transactional.

Jew give attention to wimmen and they return with affection.
Or some is more material-wise.

Dare dare tell me that is not true?

There are things beyond basic needs that give meaning without being transactional.

But let's address Wacky's question. If it is transactional, it is not love. I am not denying most relationships are transactional. That is all too common.

But not all. The thing is, some would want to find that love, however hard it may be. Also, some other guy mentioned the other day, your partner may be transactional, but you don't have to play the game. For me, if I know the women is transactional, then off she goes. I will not show off my wealth to attract women. I drove my pleve to go after my wife. She was there when I was poor. After so many years of hard work and trying so many businesses, she is still here with me even though I am still poor.

So they are rare, but they are there. Just have to look harder.

For those who are transactional to you, you can be transactional to them. I have no issues with that, the question to TS is what is he looking for.

Go for it.

It is what it is.

If u need to give something to get return then is is transaction.

Else its call stalker or beggar. Heck even beggar says TQ for ur donation and jew get karma/sugar point. No?

Any legendary answers for this question?

any reason you can give me?

gal had her leg in a boat , trying to reach out her leg on another

If you feel the girl is above you a little bit, and just on the right time right vibe she decided to hook up with you, just say i enjoy hanging out with you, short and simple

If you like the girl and wants to see her again, just elaborate longer and more precisely with the word selection

and obviously words are not extremely important as well, if she can sense the vibe that you're masculine and you *may* care for her she will be addicted to you

I'll give u 2 reasons.

1. She likes you
2. You like her

Put your foot down. I won't date you if you don't break off with him. Let her choose.

Wow... still got conservative like TS? I thought youngsters nowadays YOLO.

The problem lies with you really. Girl willingly offered herself. Nothing to lose really. Girls are more proactive nowadays huh... possibly. All you need is to have your own ground and limits. How far are you willing to go for her. If she starts asking for more (financially), you can cut her off what. If she got you between your legs, then blame yourself for succumbing to the pleasure.

Not married yet..so no problem.

But more drama, so she better be attractive.

But yeah, u need to set the expectations on your limits and conditions.

If you ditch her, she still has the bf. She ditch you, you hv nothing. So you are in the disadvantageous position. So u need to hv clear expectstions what u are getting.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Mar 27 2024, 11:41 AM

enjoy the decline of humanity folks
feminism was a mistake.

You may be her marriage material but be prepared to wear green hat in the future

actually no. i will not try to convince u.
but wait till u become a father, then ur mindset will change

ok ah beta provider
everyone has their own game
just depends who eat the abalone first

If you believe in "Karma", please stop n away from her.

If you are bad boy, just enjoy while you can.

Life is about "choice", no wrong no right. Last, what goes around comes around.

if her bf is narcissistic it will be hard for her to breakup.

first u should ask if they already have alot of sex. if yes, then she is a roti girl which means anyone with little emotional or money investment can bang her without marrying. girls who already have plenty of sex with their bf/husband and still not loyal to them will just do the same when they meet better guy.
if she is a good girl and upkeep her price (not giving sex easily without marriage commitment), then worth to go for.

after you have alot of sex u know actual point of sex is just to make baby, and real satisfaction come from having children and growing them, and with wife / children that are loyal and sincere to you.

those who just enjoy sex only for sake of sex will never understand this, and thats why in this world so many orphans, single mum/dad, divorce etc because apparently children are by-products of their sex, and not main product.

if everyone treats children as their main product of sexual act, there wont be so much evil in this world.

You are just a means to an end. She needs an exit, and you're it.

The last thing a woman wants is to exit a relationship only to feel abandoned, unwanted or undesired.

That's what she needs you for, until someone better comes along.

Whether that's OK or not is up to you, as long as you walk into it with both eyes open.

I’ve seen a girl, who has a BF and at the same time she also close to a dude. How do i know she has a BF? Social media bro, some people just share almost everything on their social media page. Anyway, after like 2 years they get married. Yes, the girl split up with her BF and then ended up marrying the dude she’s close to. Your case, it’s up to you man. Some said once a cheater always a cheater which is correct, and some also said love is blind. Fate, you also have to agreed that sometimes we encountered some unexpected that benefits us, kind of like a thing we desired just came to us out of nowhere.

Ask your heart, would you like to go deeper to the rabbit hole? Not sex i mean, don’t get me wrong bro.

Test drive first, see can accept or not

u go maybe you'll regret
u dont go confirm you'll regret

Common doesn't mean right. Well I'm just jabbing your apa sarahan joke, but in all seriousness it's still up to TS to decide his own moral compass.

My 2 cents as a lady POV in a relationship:
I enjoy being pampered and it's easy for me to demand more over time, or that he does less over time. Basically, either side may take one for granted. I try to remind myself to be grateful for his gestures and to return with affection/appreciation/my own side of gestures.

Now the question is, did he take her for granted, or she took him for granted? It's very subjective and vague to hear only her side of story and even that can be lies, so you'll need to observe more or, ironically, hang out with her more to learn more about her. I think hanging out as friends is fine, but of course there's also emotional cheating you'll have to consider. Don't be surprised if the bf confronts you one day.

Lastly, I think people stay in relationship (even when it's already broken/toxic) is because it's already the comfort zone, change is often difficult... It sounds like she's looking for you to be her next comfort zone. I don't know if it's a good thing -- I generally believe in slowly building up / fixing a relationship, breaking up would be the last resort. Idk if she tried enough yet.

Interesting view - I agree that romantic love includes give-and-take / to love and be loved, but I prefer not to call it transactional as I think it gives a feeling of rigidity, as if you need a balance sheet to track how much you're getting or giving. Romantic relationship is a partnership/codependency where both sides does something for each other.

Ehh didnt jew is gurl gurl?

Eh did I say something otherwise?

The way u talk write does not look girly.

This post has been edited by WaCKy-Angel: Apr 4 2024, 09:58 PM

if i were you i would ask her to break-up with her current BF first and then only think about the next move.

i would never be with someone that is in relationship. because i believe in Karma.

Lol I get that a lot... There's no gender / everyone's a guy on the internet anyway

TS, this will be my opinion. The girl is not married yet, hence she is still available.

The girl yet to break away from her current boyfriend probably because she may be looking for certainty before she does it. To certain ppl, that way of doing thing is not acceptable. But what if you look at it in such way, the girl = current employee looking for another job because she find no prospect with her current employer, before the current employee tender her resignation, she want to secure the letter of offer from the firm she is interviewing now. How will you view this? Is this action despicable also or wise ? Coz a lot of people are doing such regardless the male or female employee before they tender their resignation? If you ask me, there is no right or wrong. See how you view it personally.

If you think & feel that you like the girl, you will be a better partner for the girl, both of you will have better future together. By all means, attempt to challenge the current relationship. The girl is waiting for certainty before she make her decision. If you are taking advantage out of her misery, then don't proceed further.

In life, if you can be a better option, become one. If you cannot become a better option, stay put by being neutral and don't become a worse option.

This post has been edited by nihility: Apr 5 2024, 06:28 PM

I'm in a similiar situation, but she seems the one who chasing her BF, I love her with all my heart and I sad for me to see the one I love are treated poorly by her BF and then I decided to walk away as I cannot love someone GF and she told me that don't pity ot have feeling for her, but it's hard for me as we always doing things together as we almost like couple even my friends and colleague thinks me and her are together as we seems really close, until now I can't get her outta my head everything I see remind me of her.

I have done everything for her, from money, energy and time, I even send back her back to her hometown in the middle of then night just because bus ticket are finished and she can't go back as she has important event in her hometown (city in east coast 4 hour drive) without asking any penny from her

If we talking about effort, I have done more than her BF

Well's that life, I hope she's happy and everyday felt so broken and I hope time will heal me and I will find a girl that appreciate my effort

only proceed if she comes closer, but distant urself if u feel like she is moving away from u, things are easier if the girl falls for u first instead of u falling for her

No need to give up. Just remember she will look for better when with you. She is just doing it now in current relationship.

if she dont have a boyfriend, u might need to win over alot of competitors. If she have a boyfriend, u just need to win over 1 person. which one is easier u choose