So you managed to get the first date with that hot girl (or guy)..congrats! So when do you go for the first kiss? How?

For guys, this is a very crucial act of dating. Failure could very well result in being friendzoned by the girl you are pursuing. Do it right, and the relationship can accelerate very fast.

Please share tips, techniques and/or stories.

Just to be clear..this topic is not about the first kiss you got in your life. This topic is about the first kiss when you are dating someone new.

And first kiss here means kissing on the lips, not the peck on the cheek or the hand.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 8 2022, 01:11 PM

not even in a relationship..already wanna kiss someone????

you dont get friendzone immediately if you dont go for that first kiss, some girls can take quite long to warm up. Recently i went on 3rd date with a girl, only manage to kiss her first time, looking nerdy and shy

If you talk about travel/adventure/dating/sex topics and the girl is receptive to most it, find an opportunity to get close to her proximity and just go for it.

I agree, doesnt have to be on first date. My point is dont take too long to try. By date 2 or date 3, should go for it.

Not even in a relationship, already slept and kiss my crush in hotel just 2 of us. It’s possible but not easy to achieve

U mean, for you, is to wait until girl-guy agree to be a couple and only then kiss?

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 8 2022, 04:45 PM

thts me..

kissing someone on the first date might backfire..

unless u hv a feeling tht someone also has a feeling for you..

thats fine if he's a newbie..

Attempt first kiss at lips when she is already comfortable with your touch/caress/hugs. Slowly and deliberately brush her hair aside behind her ear and go for her lips slowly. If she is anticipating this, she will tilt for you as you reach her lips.

If she is unsure, she will probably be still but your call to keep it short or long.

If she wants you badly, who knows she might return a French lol.

A quiet place with some drinks to ease things up could help.

For me, I am still virgin so maybe not qualified for this topic. But I will take it slow and steady. Start with holding hands and hugs first.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Nov 8 2022, 09:51 PM

Start by holding hands first…. If not even holding hands, don’t even think of kissing - unless good night kiss.

A good place to start first kiss is to watch romantic movie or watch romantic Netflix show at home…

Hope that helps.

Follow this steps:

1. Hold hands
2. Hug and kiss
3. bed action

1 and 2 can be done on the first date
3 a few dates later

Wow virgin! Then this thread should be useful for your future reference 😉

My advice is dont be too slow and steady. Of course, u dont junp and kiss out of the blue..a girl will think you are a sex offender. But if you are too slow, you might not get the girl n have wasted time, money n emotion.

Im not a pro n still chicken at heart, but below is my MO ideally:

1st Date : Light touching and hug n good night peck on the cheek

2nd Date : As 1 but add hold hands and look for kiss opportunity, go for it.

3rd Date: As 2 but definitely go for kiss if couldnt do at 2. Potentially here can escalate to bedroom but that could be at date 4 n onwards.

Some things I learned over the years:

1. Girls like assertive n bold men..it doesnt pay to be chicken
2. A girl who likes you like to be kissed by you
3. If a girl has gone 2 to 3 dates with you, they either like you or is just taking advantage of you. Either way go for the kiss.

Let's see.

1st Date: Light touching at most. With people all meeting on Social Media and Dating Apps, you won't want to go in so fast and not see who they really are.

2nd Date: Maybe can hold hands if things go well. Remember, depending on what kind of chic you are out with, you DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT initiate any further advances IF SHE DID NOT INITIATE FIRST. A friend of mine tried too hard to initiate advances on 2nd date thinking is OK but he didn't know the girl is really trying to keep it slow.

3rd Date: If she kisses you, then you can kiss her back on the forehead. Don't do CPR style first unless this kiss happened in 2nd Date.

I agree to the above on
1. Girls like bold and assertive men but DON'T NEED TO BE FORCEFUL. Things happen naturally, let it happened.
2. Agreed totally.
3. Most girls nowadays straight up face reject 2nd and beyond dates IF THEY FEEL not comfortable with you. AND NO, if after 1st Date, nothing happened, doesn't mean it's bad. Can be the girl still observing.

To be clear, "first date" these days can mean very differently depending on how you get to know the other.

If you meet this person from online dating app, first date is really part of getting to know A STRANGER.
If you're already a long time acquaintance e.g. friend from school/work/social group, then you go on first date with the awareness that both of you are probably interested in each other already.

Some might argue with me on the semantics but I'll just say both are correct to me, so it boils down to context/additional information.

So yeah, IMO if you wanna set a good impression as a long term partner, it doesn't hurt to give the lady (too much) space, but let your intention be known so she doesn't friend zone you ever. If she's really that hungry for your touch, she would have dropped atomic bomb of hints.

i find it easier to get touchy touchy with women i knew from online dating app on first dates compared to known friends that I have dated.

because those who are on online dating app already have the intention to form a relationship

On the other hand, a few of my friends have complained that some guys were too touchy/pushy early on, they decided to not continue because of that 😅 then again, my circle of friends tend to be on the introvert + conservative side, some also have trouble being direct...

Have the intention to form a relationship, sure, but on early dates, it's still unknown whether that person will be you ma... But I can also understand the other way to see this: just be bold and if shit doesn't work, you'll never see each other anyway lol

I like that statement just be bold and if shit doesn't work, you'll never see each other anyway lol

I no guts to be so bold upfront. Later kena police report for sexual harassment or molestation. 😱

it really depends

from my experience, the women were the one who initiated. One took me to her bedroom (on the first date), another one took me to a secluded spot in the condo's pool (first date), another one took me to secluded spot in a tourist park (2nd date). They left me a lot of a hints of what to do.

But on the other extreme, i have also met someone who can only date on the ground floor cafe of where she is staying.

Any bed action after that or just kiss?

bed action a few dates later

i don't want to ruin the potential future dates at that time. Anyway i ended up marrying one of them

Damn the girls you met all so bold. 1st and 2nd date already kiss.

need to choose wisely

Were they like you already know them for a while or only known them via dating app?

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Nov 10 2022, 05:41 PM

online dating app

but of course, i have chatted with them for a while before meeting them for the first time

Ok. 3rd person I know that dating app works and can lead to marriage. Thanks.

Sometimes, its worth the risk to be just a little bit forceful with a girl.

When I was first dating my current gf I know shes avoiding the kiss in the beginning. Other than that, we had lots of fun and clicked very well. A lot of laughing and by 3rd date, a lot of innocent touches. Its only at the end of the dates where she will suddenly become cautious and wanted to leave quickly.

(We always drove separately to the dates, so we will say goodbye at the dating venue itself.)

First two dates, she let me have a quick good night hug, but she will then quickly push me away and I let her. On the 3rd date, we did the same hug. But when she tried to push away, I didnt let go and planted a kiss on her lips instead. Then I let go. The date ended there with her looking quite flustered as she got to her car n drove away.

My gf later told me that that first kiss was a good move. Before, her initial view was that Im nice and fun, but she doesnt want/wasnt ready to be serious with me (i was probably going to be friendzoned). However, driving back from the first kiss, she said her heart was beating so fast n she couldnt stop thinking of me the whole night.

We became a couple soon after that.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 11 2022, 12:44 PM

Still couple?
Shit la. I don't want so early already start kissing

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Nov 11 2022, 12:04 PM

I find this question rather sarcastic and hilarious at the same time.

I am asking is he still a couple with her? I am not being sarcastic.

For me, I don't want to start kissing so early. If thats the way to avoid friend zone, then yeah. No choice.

Reason is I want to take it slow. Cause I believe if slow more enjoyable then rushing.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Nov 11 2022, 10:54 AM

For me, I couldn't believe that kissing can avoid friend zone. First time hearing this though not totally illogical but seriously, who would have taught the girl secretly wanted to be pecked on the lips while showing signs of resisting it?

Come on ladies, don't show terbalik can ah?

Cause if you don't kiss her, likely she see you as a friend only. But if you kiss her, your intentions are clear. You are not her friend. You are her boyfriend/mate/FWB/future husband.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Nov 11 2022, 11:12 AM

Notes taken.

But it actually depends on both guy and girl. Some people just hold hands. Some hold hands, kiss. Some hold hands, kiss and sex. Depend on stage of of relationship, how comfortable both of them are, how lustful/horny they are.

yeah i agree, this works.

but mine is a opposite.
im a shy guy, even if my date wear sexy i get too embarrassed to look.
i generally dont talk horny, sex stuff.
be a true gentleman.

this works as well. reason being, the girl gets frustrated why you are "immune" to her.
why other guys are so easy to manipulate with sex, but you are "different".
They find it a challenge.
They will basically be the ones to initiate kisses / sex.
Usually girls jual mahal, but u can do the same as well.
i even had a girl who said to me " if u cant afford the hotel, i can pay for it", because ive been acting dumb about her "advances"

ive tried both methods. both works.
but i prefer the shy gentleman method, because im generally a shy guy.
so just using what i have to get the best results.

This post has been edited by quebix: Nov 11 2022, 11:41 AM

Haha yes still. She is a nice girl.

Btw I didnt meet her via an app tho.

I was introduced to her by a mutual gf friend at a social function. And both of us know about each others existence before that due to the mutual gf. I always thought she was very attractive in the photos Ive seen of her before n was quite excited to finally meet her in person (but of course played it cool).

We got to talk and I then got her number (using some silly excuse). Then it was about a month of texting every few days of nonsensence topics before we agreed on our first date. After the first date we texted daily. There was definite chemistry from my POV.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 11 2022, 11:46 AM

I have known many guys pursuing a girl for months and even years..only to get the friend/brother treatment at the end and the girl go to another man. You dont want that. Life is too short in my opinion to be wasting time like that.

Where did you kiss her? In the car/car park?

Her car was parked on the street. So it was between the restaurant entrance n her car.

Btw for the dates she refused to be in same car with me...she recognise the danger. 😄

Fyi..a girl in love is very lusty

If she is not lusty for u, then she may not yet be in love with u.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 11 2022, 12:14 PM

For me if she initiate I will tell her we stop at kissing. But I won't jual mahal so much. If jual Mahal too much she can get fed up and move on.

I can see from your post. Flustered, doesn't want to be in same car

true. dont be cheap. jual mahal, but affordable la, within reach.

Kissing early & friendzone is not related.

Prior to the kissing, these kind of events usually will takes place first:-

1) Already sharing foods
2) Already sharing drinks
3) Already holding hand.

Friendzone is more likely the pursuer's attributes & characters falls within average / slightly above average acceptance level to the girl.

No need to follow other, go own your own pace. Nowadays, don't know it is a fortune or misfortune for thing to move so fast for the young ppl.

what social event was it and what excuse did you use to get her number?

1. New Years party

2. To give her some invesment tips. Its so cringy if i think about it 🤣

so kiss already or not ya? i am confused

Based off TS story, TS already kiss.

i managed to read between lines.

for me, after holding hands, hugs and kiss no issue la in general (or at least based on my exp 3/3). but different types of ladies may differ

Beg to differ.

Friendzone for a guy, is where the guy is highly attracted to the girl and they are in some sort of relationship but he cant touch the girl intimately. Its a pretty lousy place to be in for a guy. A girl, esp the attractive ones, like to maintain this type of relationship with guys as they continue to look for higher value man to have intimate relationship with.

Kissing is highly intimate and kissing early avoids the friendzone. The act of kissing releases hormones that make a girl syiok. And its also is a percusor to other sexual acts. Of course, you have to do it right and the girl continues to go out with you after that and the kissing acts continue.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 14 2022, 11:51 AM

It is ok to have different opinion, nothing wrong.

However I would like to point out a few more doubts. Why eliminate the possibility the girl never have intention to friendzone you from the beginning? You kissed & it just so happened that she allowed it, you claimed the kissing do all the miracle? You sure the girl is telling you the truth about the kiss & the friendzone thing totally out of picture ?

My understanding, the girl friendzone the males like how the male friendzone the girls. The only different, when male friendzone the girls, it is done in ruthless manner. When girl friendzone the male, it is in more polite ways. The reason for the friendzone for both male & female is almost identical, the kiss will not do the miracle.

See his reply below. If not for the kiss, well I don't think they will be a couple.

Very likely and she has even hinted at being "not ready for relationship" during our earlier texting.

A younger and more innocent me would have just go with the flow, wait for her clear signals and hope something will happen. Older and wiser me takes the initiative and go for it. Its a bit risky but the pay-off is good.

After the 3rd date n suprise kiss, she went into a "confused" mode for about 2 weeks, before we went for our 4th date. We kissed properly on the 4th date. 😊

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 16 2022, 12:01 PM

She did not reply or text you for 2 weeks during the "confused" mode?

Actually, we continued texting as normal. We didnt plan any dates because we were both busy with other things.

But she told me later that she was having a big conflict inside her at that time. She didnt want to reply to my texts but she felt addicted to it and was angry at herself for being so.

Women and their complexities huh..

Tbh, this is a very interesting topic for discussion. I'm entertained.

how did she agree for the first date? like how's the process?

ive been working on it also, a smart and pretty uni classmate, but we are doing online class... we dont text daily but when we do it's usually about group work and assignments...asked few times out already but topic kept diverted...christmas period finally agreed to have dinner at restaurant...booked a table, then a day before the dinner she told me got urgent thing with family, next time etc

now i dont know if i should still persist or take that as a rejection and move on

This post has been edited by SGSuser: Dec 28 2022, 05:42 AM

It was lame..i promised to show her how an app work over coffee and she agreed. However, we had 2 failed attempts to meet over coffee and, when we finally met, i made it up to her and changed our meeting to a proper dinner date.

Now as a couple, she also confirmed to me it was lame but she played along as she was BORED. 😆

If both are still texting, the you can try again. Give her space and dont ask her out so soon. Do your own things n occassionally update her. Its also good if you can meet other girls at this time. Your mindset amd actions must be INTERESTED but not DESPERATE.

You need to ask the girl out. Make sure you get her number and whatapp/telegram her. Make sure the question is asked via DM and not in group chst. Some people will text for a while before asking the girl out. Some people after getting her number straight ask the girl out. Different criteria for different people.

Some people offer the girl 3-5 chances to reject the date/meeting. If after 3rd or 5th attempt she refuse to come out you know she is not interested.

Some give the girl unlimited tries until she eventually agreed to come out. This is too nice. Again different criteria for different people.

For me, all the girls I talk to via whatapp all agree to come out. Even though some only make it to first meeting. 2nd or 3rd meeting tak jadi except for one currently. Girls are human, be honest and just asked.

In your case, don't wait for festival or event to get her out. Any normal day will do. Ask when is she free and schedule your time around hers. It's easier for you Vs for her to find time for you. Of course if you know when she's free, and she still don't want to come out, man up and accept she doesn't like you.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Dec 28 2022, 08:43 AM

The girls you met are from dating apps. They are looking and have liked your profile. The girl this SGSuser is going after is a classmate and from what he described hasnt given any indication of interest. The hill is steeper but is not impossible, if he makes the right moves.

But I agree on your point abt festival. Bad time to set a first date. Competition is too high. From her family n her friends. Why would she choose to spend such an important time with a barely known person instead of other more important people?

My first date with my gf was during weekday, after work. It was also impromptu on that day. We were exchanging some text during office hours n I asked her what happen to our coffee plans? She then complained how busy her life has been, working late etc. I then asked her to have dinner with me near her office that evening. Initially I got some standard excuses (dont know what time she finish work, not properly dressed) but i persisted n she finally said ok at 7 pm. Abt 8pm.we were on our first date.

Actually 2 girls I asked out are real life people. One my ex working colleague who was free only on Fridays (once a week). Asked her out and she said ok. I was thinking more of like warcg movie and lunch with with friend kind of environment. She went dress up like crazy and yeah it felt awkward throughout the date. I never get third meeting with her. Kind of good also. We disagree on some stuff and she's the social butterfly type. Every Friday there will be some uncle/aunties/friend ask her go out here and there.

Second girl was my friend from internship. Different place of working. Ask her out only to find out she's going Australia in 1 week time for good. This one was the one that got away. I had crush on her during internship and didn't man up and ask her out. Then we both move back to Klang valley and covid hits.

So both are real life people. Not dating apps girls.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Dec 28 2022, 01:20 PM

Actually I didnt have much choice because she's from other state, only coming to kl with her mum for christmas and new year...that's why can only arrange around this time

we do click a lot in our chats, i even check up on her when she worked part time until very late and she still replied rather than ignoring me, sometimes we do talk personal issues although when i touch on relationship stuff she's rather evasive...just very disappointed that she's here for 1 week+ yet couldn't even spare some time for me, perhaps im really that unimportant, just a classmate hi and bye after graduation

Try again during CNY. If she refuse to come out again. I think you got the answer. Another way is try video call and see if she's up for it.

CNY she's at her hometown and im at my hometown

Of course, you will start from being not important, then you progress to become very important.

However, in your case, its also a long distance thing which makes it an even harder game. She might also be thinking LDR is too hard. I think its probably best you dont get your hopes high n be just friends.

Aha... Don't get carried away there my brudder. When I had a strong crush for a guy, we texted each other a lot. Had deep conversations. He'd reply me even in the middle of the nights.
Turned out he's just a really nice guy who's a little nocturnal, and he only treated me as a really good friend..

People can write a lot in text, but don't extrapolate on their intentions... If you really have such strong interest for her and you want to do a one last try, go all out and plan a solo trip to where she lives and tell her about your plan. If she agrees then proceed to book your own stay, and stick to the plan. If she bails last minute, OR rejects you outright, or just won't reciprocate.... You have your answer, then you can enjoy the rest of your vacation alone or cut it short and go home. At least you'll have a clear answer and there's no point to dwell.

oh damn, I havent try kissing my girl yet, we already official for 2 weeks straight, but because she from conservative background, I don't know if its too fast or not until yesterday, even then I just plan to start from forehead and then lips if she responds well

Offical already, then better do it soon.

N if want to start forehead, dont do like grandma kiss. Have to do manly romantic style 😉

Bro, I am not official with the girl yet. If official and kiss her on the lips, later she got scared and run away. Better for me to start slow.

I belong to the kiss first, official later school.

Actually its ..kiss..sex.. then official.

All consensual of course.

Don't wait too long

The girl will be wondering whether you are strong enough to take risks

I French kissed on 6 first dates

Most of the time on first date. She have feeling on you when she agreed to go out with you. But you have to be confident and aggressive at the right time. Play your game well

Wow..seriously?

Too brave or careless

Actually it was five which I went for it. I didn't went for one, I pecked her cheeks for good night and she planted her lips on mine.

all these could be done during 1st date, if the girl is uninterested, she won't even consider to go for the date in the first place right.
just 1. Try to tap tap her shoulder first. 2.hold her hands 3. peck on cheek 4.lip kiss 5.touch touch 6. bed action. Happy Ending.

Deleted

This post has been edited by New Klang: Jan 4 2023, 10:38 AM

TS, you can try this way, start working out to look jacked, have nice haircut, do facials, dress trendy and hang out with affluent people.

Most important is $$$ and high potential

I already graduated 😆

This thread is more to inspire noobs in the game or virgins like Ramjade 😉

My message is dont be shy n try to get the kiss early.

Noobs,

Be a gentleman and take charge. If you like her, go for it. She won't want to look cheap to do the first move.

Or else some one else will swoop in and kiss your girl.

right

Depends on the girl you date tbh, Im not the one that engage usually, so I just act cute and dumb, then they engage

but yes not first date, if both of you established physical exchange is gonna happen b4 the first date probably but first date no kiss and getting friendzoned is quite untrue

Been about a year ago I started this topic. Recently saw this video with good tips.



Breaking the touch barrier is very important. Make it very natural and innocent as possible. If a girl likes you, she will tolerate it. If she doesnt like it then I guess she wont go out with you anymore, which spares you time, money and emotions.

And its fine not to get the first kiss on the first date. As I mentioned, I was only able to on the 3rd date.The point is to work on it and dont wait too long.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Dec 26 2023, 03:09 PM

Update: still a couple 😊

Already been introduced to her parents and attended her sister's wedding as "her bf".

there's a thing called escalation ladder back in PUA community

you slowly move things forward by touching a girl from public to intimate area ie palm, wrist, shoulder face etc
when she's receptive, then you just go for the kiss

make sure she gives you that animated, soft eyes when you talking and you can feel she's feminine in the zone engaging with you. At that point you pretty much could get away with anything

Before kiss her, i think should start with holding hands and hug, if she comfortable with these, then you can start kissing her, coz when that time, she wont feel defense. Thats for relationship, if you talking about have sex with her, then it is different story.

This post has been edited by sourcream47: Jan 27 2024, 02:43 PM

should be that way , step by step