Thank you very much for your reply, yes its very true and useful to me. I believe he's undergoing similar experience. Walking out of that "thing" is a very hard and tiring process, I believe he runs out of patience and belief, I just hope I can keep it running again.

Yes my mum issue is a big cutback for his process, its like he hit a large rock on road. And apart from getting his phsycological to be strong, theres nothing much we can do regarding my mum sickness. Hence im opening this thread, hoping to find him some "friends"...

Really thanks for your reply.

No need to thank me I just accidentally came across this thread, I dont usually look at this part of lowyat lol

Try not to "force" since older people they have "face" to take care. For example "hey dad I found you these few people heres their contacts go chat with them". If I were your dad my reaction is WTF. Because as said above, HE need to walk out that "thing", HE HIMSELF. So he has to find the friends himself if he wants to, but you can do something behind. For example if he wants to do cycling but cannot find local cycling group. You can find it first then push him and suggest "how about try to go search online, how about check this forum see they got cycling group or not, how about go ask the bicycle shop owner" (which you know the have as you done your research)

Few things you can do now is like how about repaint the whole house (new look, new environment, take time to do it, dont cost much)

If your mum is the root issue of your dad problem, you better tackle it now, cuz if one day if your mum is not here anymore, I dont dare to think about the impact on your dad

Wow.. what u mentioned is actually how i would do.. LOL
Because if he doesnt have the initiative to start anything or try anything then all i can think is i introduce it to him.. I guess i AM kind of pushy in this way..

Remodelling house already done, in fact he spend most of his evening time doing that now, but when the stress come its not the money or the time issue anymore.

Yes I know, thats my concern now too. But I really dont dare to push too much, so what i can do now is just to call him more to casual talk at least and hopefully he can open his heart or at least feel better so that he have strength and feel the push to walk out.

You know "sometimes it feels better to share with someone you don't know on internet rather than a close family member"? Of course every family different, but myself is this type. I dont know your father is this type or not. If he is, he will be more likely to tell friends rather than open up to own daughter lol

Back when I still having the "mysterious illness", when stress/illness comes, at very very first I get panicked "OMG why it came again"
After i see the specialists, I take the "fake medicine" and distract myself doing other things, like play games
Then slowly overtime, when I not care about it anymore, one day it just disappear, totally, i didnt even realize it was gone

of course nowadays sometimes when "it" comes back, it is nothing to me now, i realized what "it" is, i may be in stress, then i "eat" the stress, and "it" will go away itself. Maybe your dad play gambling because the "high" of the game make him forget about the stress, same as when I played video games all my concentration put on the screen, then it go away. I not suggest this but maybe some Facebook online casino game is an alternative for your dad, just make sure he dont spend real money on the game

that said, your dad himself need to take care of "it" himself, you can help but how much effective i dont know.

This post has been edited by SmallPenguin: Sep 11 2020, 05:18 PM

Yes I do know, but yeah im not sure what type he is too. I thought of introducing him to lowyat group too, but then 1. Im afraid he read this post LOL, and 2. Hes not good with words and typing actually, so I doubt he will find comfort in text.

It sounds to me like the "fake medicine" actually helps. He did took some meds too and do other things to distract, it just came back up when stress comes and he werent strong enough to withstand.

Yes I told him also that HE is the only savior to himself. I also hope I can do more.

Thanks anyway for your reply, it made me feel much better like im not alone.

This post has been edited by AnAngel65: Sep 11 2020, 05:41 PM

You are welcome, and good luck

Serious. Let him play demo forex. money can reload unlimited. Let him kill time.