I have a close friend of mine and her grandparent is also serious gamble. Incurred close to 7 figure of debt to the family.

Gambling is like smoking, you just cant change/force the person to (unless "real force"). Smokers know the impact to their health but keep smoking. The gambler sees the impact to the family and still wont change.

The only way to change is the person himself willing to, otherwise no people can.

Dont think about talk nicely it is useless, if the gambler himself can already see the impact and still no feeling, talking only is just flapping your mouth, here say "Yes yes I will change" but turn around go gamble again

As suggested from another forumer above, limit the money, scrutinize all the expenses. Keep him busy, find him a hobby, (even playing golf is cheaper than gambling) Almost 99.99% expenses will be cheaper than gambling debt

This post has been edited by SmallPenguin: Sep 10 2020, 04:06 PM

A lot factors we don't know:
- Is he retired?
- How is your family or your financial situation?
- How much he spend on gambling? What type? How often?

All these factors matter as well, for example if its just 4D Toto and spend less than say couple 10 ringgits a day then the problem is not big. If its like casino, and thousands and thousands ringgit then you can more choices.

As for hobby, you cant do 1 person hobby, need a group of people. Cycling and golfing is quite popular for older people

Edit: Same goes to your diff state, if its many money involved and real serious, you should try to go back for a short period of time and "fix" him

This post has been edited by SmallPenguin: Sep 10 2020, 05:16 PM

Hmm if say few hundred to 1000 a month, are you okay with instead of spending that kind of money on gambling but on others? Or potentially you add on a few hundreds to do even more things and fill up his time.

Old people has "face" as well if he can and understand he has anxiety and worry, my suggestion is bring whole family to go see a psychologist. The doctor will be in a better position and come out with even better ideas how to tackle it. Cannot let him go alone, need you and potentially your mum as well. So you will have more cards to play out

Hmm psychological issue in my experience can only be solved my ownself, he has to walk out of that "thing"

I used to have a psychological issue which I think part of my body is sick, and I can feel it so vividly, but went to specialist all the checkups, blood test, show my body is normal. Then I went to see two different psychologists. Doctors werent useful because "they dont understand", I thought like that at that time. But at last, I able to walk out of that "thing" and the sickness solve itself.

Then you can only try to make him busy filled up his day with different things, so his mind wont be attracting to the negative side. Its like even when a child is sick, you give him play computer games he will be happy and can play, UNLESS he is very sick cant even get up from bed.

From your explanation, your father should not be "very sick". And your mum unfortunately can be an issue, since he knows his love one may go soon. This is unfortunate add a lot negative to him. Try religion/hobby/new friends. One thing for sure, experiment never fail. But you will need to fork out some extra money for him to experiment

No need to thank me I just accidentally came across this thread, I dont usually look at this part of lowyat lol

Try not to "force" since older people they have "face" to take care. For example "hey dad I found you these few people heres their contacts go chat with them". If I were your dad my reaction is WTF. Because as said above, HE need to walk out that "thing", HE HIMSELF. So he has to find the friends himself if he wants to, but you can do something behind. For example if he wants to do cycling but cannot find local cycling group. You can find it first then push him and suggest "how about try to go search online, how about check this forum see they got cycling group or not, how about go ask the bicycle shop owner" (which you know the have as you done your research)

Few things you can do now is like how about repaint the whole house (new look, new environment, take time to do it, dont cost much)

If your mum is the root issue of your dad problem, you better tackle it now, cuz if one day if your mum is not here anymore, I dont dare to think about the impact on your dad

You know "sometimes it feels better to share with someone you don't know on internet rather than a close family member"? Of course every family different, but myself is this type. I dont know your father is this type or not. If he is, he will be more likely to tell friends rather than open up to own daughter lol

Back when I still having the "mysterious illness", when stress/illness comes, at very very first I get panicked "OMG why it came again"
After i see the specialists, I take the "fake medicine" and distract myself doing other things, like play games
Then slowly overtime, when I not care about it anymore, one day it just disappear, totally, i didnt even realize it was gone

of course nowadays sometimes when "it" comes back, it is nothing to me now, i realized what "it" is, i may be in stress, then i "eat" the stress, and "it" will go away itself. Maybe your dad play gambling because the "high" of the game make him forget about the stress, same as when I played video games all my concentration put on the screen, then it go away. I not suggest this but maybe some Facebook online casino game is an alternative for your dad, just make sure he dont spend real money on the game

that said, your dad himself need to take care of "it" himself, you can help but how much effective i dont know.

This post has been edited by SmallPenguin: Sep 11 2020, 05:18 PM

You are welcome, and good luck