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Hi ts, may I ask if u speak Chinese. ( I’m not referring to ur race.    Stay Anon. ) If u can u can dial up a radio show and chat up the DJ. He’s a quite a good counselor. Let me know n I’ll give u the link here?

Yup will be broadcasted. But if u got really dark secrets, u can also request 2 him x 2 broadcast ur voice live, that he just listen to you on the phone. That way, the audience only gets half the conversation , his replies , well sorta... He has got quite a lot of YouTube podcasts as well, check those out and learn from others cases while waiting for your turn. His Facebook link:  https://www.facebook.com/988.Matter/videos/...?type=2&theater

Dear TS, I’ve read your story.. I must admit, this separation is good for both of you. Both of you are not ready for relationship. You two have to fix you mental and character first before jump into serious relationship. Otherwise you two are gonna hurting each other all the time and end up divorce later. Your father being strict is not an excuse, it takes wisdom to grow up and be a man. 1 more problem that I can spot, religion, be really careful with this card. It’s good to be religious, BUT, do not use your religion as your “easy exit card.” A good person doesn’t count by how many times you read your holy book or how many times you go and pray. A good person is the one who can love and be kind to other as he does to himself. If you couldn’t be kind and love yourself, there’s no point try to love other.

TS, not sure whether the following advice will be helpful or not, but just to let you know that there are people who are still care of you.

The main issue on your depression, from the basic story, you are putting all the negative parts of your life to justify as reason why you are so down now. It would be good if you can mental break these up into parts, suggest below;

1) Dad & family issues - Those are already history & whatever happens, you will learn that in future once you have a family, you will know how to manage, which is right & wrong. Past is already past & move on. Your mum issue is also the same. Those that have pass, you must learn to let go. Mistake has been done (by others, not you) & live with it. Since you are now provided your ownself, it is possible you will raise up again, just need patience & never give up attitude.

2) Girlfriend & possible flings issue.  Feel your ex is too much. She is requesting too much something that not much men can do/pursue when in relationship. Maybe she forgot that all men (& women) are sinners which bound to make mistake. The way she want you to be is unrealistic. Surely during the relationship, you are not yourself & sacrificing in order to satisfy her expectation. This is already a problem in your existing relationship. If this continues, how long you can think you can stand such high standard? Surely 1 day, you will be depress in a long run. She is selfish, man. On the possible flings, she just send you the pictures & flirting. You are not yet married with your ex, so there is still chances to know better girls/options. So no wrong done here.

By reading, feel she will never forgive you & if you still pursue for her acceptance, it will be a long winding road. This, also doesn't mean in the end she will accept. So, you have to ask yourself, do you still want to get back to her & lead back the same lifestyle & entertain her demands same as before?? Suggestion - DUMP HER!!!

3) Working life. It is normal to switch jobs when you are not earning well/feel unappreciated/ better offers outside. As means of surviving, do the jobs that sufficient to provide you on your living. If the current jobs will be help on your career progression, that is a bonus. No rush. Sometimes we need to work just to keep our heads above water.

4) Social circle. Meet up with more people & know more friends, will help to alter your depression issues. Usually when you feel more fortunate compared to those even less fortunate than you. If you want to try, try search & watch youtube on Bersamamu as a start....When you have such feeling, you will feel blessed more. Participate in religion activities & doing public service also provides the same feeling.

All the best there bro!!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world bro. Hope you gf accepts you for who you are. Genuine guys are limited thus you're a limited edition..

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. " - John 8:7 

Nobody's gonna condemn you. 

In times of testing, we need to dig deep. Circumstances are testing grounds. You screwed up royally, so let this incident be a future reminder.

God has set very high standards for His people. I'm also a red-blooded male, so i understand this. 

"so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." - 1 Peter 1:7

Trust that the ACL is healing well too
Shalom
Here, chill . . . .   

yeah ayam awake. on the carpper.

To TS, how about watch some TED talks in youtube. For starters, search for Dolph Lundgren Ted talks.

Not sleeping  is not going to help you depression or whatever

Time to find your comfort zone or whatever

Typing this nao while sleeping

How old are you. I have read your problems and to be honest its not worth losing sleeping over those.

Mayb meet a psychiatrist or something to talk over the issue.

Since you are a religion guy, mayb go over a pastor of someone you are familiar with.

No point just keep praying here and there if you are not going to do anything over it.

I wish I could explain in an easier way. Read the story below...

“ I once chatted with a 36-year-old man on the Internet who asked if I would like to see his requirements for a mate and marriage. “Sure,‚” I typed. “Send them over.‚” His request was curious, but I was amused when I received his list for the perfect wife. His criteria for marriage were included in approximately eight e-mails with three to four attachments each. He’d also written an essay describing his perfect mate. She must be afraid of God, active in church, teach their children at home, be attractive, trim and of average height and weight, debt-free, never married, a virgin, she must never have had any venereal diseases and she must be able to give him “wild sex” whenever he asked. Most of all, she must be submissive like his pastor instructed him. Within minutes after reading his list, my “abusive man” detector started blinking wildly. But just to make sure that my suspicions were correct, I asked him a few questions. I discovered that he grew up in a home with an overbearing father who was a perfectionist and a competitive mother who threw things when she was angry and who “was not submissive enough.” He said his parents showed him love by teaching him how to succeed (or, in other words, to be perfect). The wild thing was that he saw nothing wrong with his requirements and even stated that he had once struggled with perfectionism, but had overcome it. I decided to run like the wind. Why? Because even though some of this man’s standards are godly, his rigid rules, with an inability to extend grace, signaled potential control and abuse. His list reminds me of something author Patricia Evans wrote. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Evans says that an abusive man(and woman) creates an ideal world that does not exist by forming an image of the perfect man/woman. But when his love interest shows flaws that reveal she is human, he becomes angry because she does not meet his expectations.” ———— sounds pretty much like you?

Now “Easy Exit Card”.. read again all of your statements above.. how many times you and your gf brought religion to justify things, set your expectations high, and forget that you are just a human. Look at How hard you’ve blamed yourself over and over again just for simple things. And the same standards that you put on yourself would be the standard that you forced on your closest one. I call it religious abuse / Easy Exit Card, in the name of God to justify whatever action, situation, and expectation you put on others. Sadly, You might learn the doctrine, go to church, set your expectations as high as the sky, but you have failed to understand the true meaning of a believer.. He’s a saviour for everybody who believes in Him, regardless... He’s the truly example of love, forgiveness, and life.. You don’t have to be a saint, be a human with humanity First.. fill your life with kindness, mercy and sympathy. Surender to your God instead of fight back... Accepting The flaws instead of complaining.. Just like How Your God sacrificed for you, although you are unworthy... As a religious person who believe in heaven after life, you already know that no matter how hard you pray, beg, read your bible etc etc.. it ain’t get you there.. You will get there by His Grace..


Easy Exit Card = Judgement = immaturity

Don’t use religion to justify your own behaviour, punishment, or pushed others down as if religion is an answer and exit card to every problems.

And based on how you described both of you (you+your gf), it’s a relationship where both of you actually had a very low chances to grow. You guys might have faith, but you have a very small hope, and most importantly both of you left behind the love.
“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13, NKJV)”.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (Cor 13:13)

After you read this.. think again.. do your gf really loves you? Do you really love your gf? Because all that I know, if both of you truly love each other’s, all the problems above would’ve  never happened.

The truth is both of you never truly love each other, You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, she was good for your ego and you were good for hers. Or, maybe you made her feel better about her miserable life, but I doubt that she truly loves you and you truly loves her, because we don't give up to the person that we love.

My advice,

1. Be a positive person first. Find a psychologist to help you reshape the characters and dealing with your past, set yourself free.

2. Learn to Love yourself first before love others

that is 1 long story. Nothing you can do to change what you did. Trust me, Happened to me recently too. And it was way way worse then what you did.

Ending your life is never a solution, you may think it will cure everything but what you are doing is just making it worse for people around you.

First step is to own your mistakes and move on. Look at the future, look at the bright side. You may think there is nothing else out in the world that can make you happy but keep searching for someone that can share your problems and talk. Just remember, killing yourself only is never the answer...

Good night son,

Slim chance for her to give u second chance without doing anything.

How about try to do something the gain her back which might slightly neutralized the guilt you have done?
Trust me, she will not voluntarily approach you and tell u she is fine already and ready to continue the relationship.

Give 1 last try and move on, don't give yourself false hope without doing anything and depend/blaming your beliefs to bring her back.

I moved on, i was depressed, i was sad. There was so much going on but I took some time off, went out for some alone time to gather my thoughts and I kept thinking if I made the right choice even to this day. But in the end, I made a choice, made a mistake and destroyed some stuff otw but I moved on and swore never to make the same mistake again