Hello ladies, i need some serious opinion here. Me and my bf have been together for almost 8 years now. I believe almost every relationship also goes through the same periods ie; start with sparks & fireworks, then slowly subside, then stabilise and then here's the scary part which is getting bored/ nothing much to talk about. I think im around the stage of getting bored/ lesser things to talk with each other.

The thing is, sex is no more a regular or exciting thing. I am not sure if I did not perform so well (like the beginning of a relationship) but I am pretty sure I did my part as a gf or girl. Last time we can have it twice or even 3 times a day but now, its only once a week or not even once a week! and i freaked out that maybe he is having an affair outside???

FINALLY after a few rounds of confrontation and argument, he spilled the milk. He said he is encountering a problem with his 'brother'. He finds it difficult to stand or stand long enough to satisfy me. He only tell me about his problem after we fight and almost had a break up. Is this how guys work???? They just cannot let down their ego, be honest and open about anything? It is not like i am going to leave him if i know about his problem although this is a serious problem.. I still love him a lot though but im afraid what if next time he is still good with his ego and hide things from me?

do you ladies have this 'guy ego' problem too?

First thing first how old are both of u? It's not an easy thing to share but since you guys start to voice it out it would be awesome if he would be sharing with you what would spike the play and I meant openly if you really like supporting him...vice versa you should tell him the same thing as well...good luck

get a kid.

spare some love into kid.

take care kid together.

Dun use children to bind a relationship.
If the relationship not work out at the end, everyone will suffer.

But for some the kids save the marriages

try viagra or penis enhancing drugs, see if it works. May also try doing a 3some to make things exciting again.

All the best!

Why children when obviously they are not married, seek for counselor if both of you are keen to saving your "8 years" relationship and not here in /k

Try something new and exciting. like new position or try role playing

You're having what is most commonly known as "married people problems" except that you're not married. This happens when you've been with the same person for more than 3 years, give or take (some say less, some say more).

Your boyfriend is finding it hard to perform simply because its no longer as exciting as it was. This is normal because he's banging the same person. NOBODY jerks off to the same porn more than 3 times in a row.

Remember that tingle in your nether region when you guys first started doing it? Yeah, you just gotta get it back. How? Role-play, fetishes, etc. Basically anything that you guys can agree on that is out of the ordinary sex routine.

Talk, share your kinks and revive the fire (or tingle).

random lyn frontpage passerby comment here:

for a guy 1-3 times a day can be tiring. not being able to perform can really hurt a mans ego.

on another note, when a guy stops communicating, it really depends on the type of guy he is.

if he is the more sensitive type, he should open up to you and him not talking means something is seriously wrong, perhaps depression or he really might be bored of the relationship.

if hes the manly man sort of guy it would be hard to break his ego/shell.

for a man, not being not able to perform can be VERY depressing. it can lead to a downward spiral where they may feel insecurity that their girl will leave them and no girl will want them. they may also lose their confidence.

if hes telling the truth try and see how to work things out.

if you dont trust him, maybe keep a closer watch on him discreetly. he might be up to something.

that said, for a guy to admit such a problem, thats something guys normally would really hate to do. on the flipside its the perfect excuse if he cheats. coz most guys once their appetite is full will just not be in the mood.

i have been married for 18 years and its still the same throughout these years. Thing might get bored sometimes and that's where u need to try new things and positions... A holiday to somewhere exotic always helps spark the fire. For your case, the doctor is the 1st place to visit.

Most cases i heard....save marriages but suffer (dying inside out)
Husband still kaki pukul,drug addict and so on

Communication is the key to any relationship, not kids.

i can only think of 2 reason for your case :

1) your bf is bored with you hence you no longer can stimulate him
2) he is having an affair outside

truth hurts but u have to accept this and see what both of u can do about it.

p/s : try play porn video while having sex. it will prove that my reason 1) is right

So it is either he is really really bored with me or he is really cheating? I am not really sure if consulting doctor would be the best because sometimes when he really wants it, he can go really hard.

I don't think having kids to savage a relationship helps in any way as what if things turn out really ugly? I could work for some people but I do not think that would work for me though... I mean, wont all party suffer especially the kid to either lose the dad or mum if the parents were to divorce.

Another suggestion is to bring back the spark.. well okay, this might be a good idea but i don't think i will go with 3some or some fetish stuff.. or does guys actually like those things? I wouldn't mind to introduce some sex stimulants like toys or yeah maybe a little bit of enhancement supplement perhaps? Any suggestion on this?

I'm not trying to get him 1-3 times a day or even asking for it everyday. lets say if you really love your partner and your partner really loves you, wouldn't you want him/her to share everything with you? I cannot accept the fact that why do people need to hide things away from people they love? Yes, this might be a very depressing situation to a man but as a gf, i would prefer him to share everything with me be it happy or sad. I want to go through good and bad times with him. I would like him to share his life with me. I'm not only with him for his 'brother' or sex... he don't seems to get my point whenever i'm trying to tell him this

communication is the key... maybe u guys need to open up to each other more...

from my point of view theres only 2 possibilities:

1. he is insecure and may be suffering depression because of his issue

2. he might be finding satisfaction somewhere else but just using that as an excuse

regardless of which is which, all i can say is just be supportive but also keep a watch on his behaviour.

perhaps go out on more dates? remind him of how its like to be in love?

8 years relationship? That's a bit too long. Even marriage stale before reaching that long.

As for sex though, I don't think you should force yourself and think negatively. Men loves to fuck at first, regardless of quality. However, that will change. It's not about quantity, but quality.

i want also dont have hahaha.. come be my gf better..