Hi, I'm 22 this year and only dated once. I met this girl who is 28 and we click pretty well. As a guy who personally admits he is shy and awkard, i instantly have feelings for her because knowing a girl doesnt come too often in my life and she is also like the first girl i met and got close to ever since i started working in KL. We hooked up quite a number of times and we've became very intimate with each other. The problem is I'm afraid that she doesnt think the same way and is just playing with me. For dinner and any other date activities its always me who pay and she very barely often pays. oh what should i do? should i play her and not taker seriosuly as well?

If you're looking for a serious relationship then be frank with her. If she really is playing you, you will detect the bullshit. When that happens just end it and move on.

But its not easy to move on.... Girls dont really come that often in my life... She is the first girl that i met and grew close to after 5 months in kl. Im not very good at socializing as well. Im afraid that if i lose her ill be the sad single and depressed guy that i was...

Putting the age aside, and apart from the gender role issues (gentleman should pay for dinner), what are the other signs you feel that she is 'playing' you or not taking you seriously?

Is she often condescending or something? Would you like to describe in what way is she not being serious in the relationship?

This post has been edited by ViktorJ: Feb 20 2019, 03:35 PM

Well, just go along and see where it goes. Is it too hard to spend for meals ? Lucky she never ask for LV bag and such.

Enjoy the journey and see where it goes.

Relationships will only work if both sides put in effort. Nothing good will come from a one sided relationship, you will find someone that suits you as long as you dont give up.

Why not be honest with her that you are seriously into her? If she leave u, at least you save all that heartache. If she says she is serious too, then both of you can work seriously towards your future. Whatever it is, never try to take advantage or cheat or play (like u say) in a relationship. Be sincere, and the universe shall take care of you. Karma is a b**ch they say.

Like she a regular party girl and stuff that goes out alot. My friends were telling me she was dancing with a guy but when i brought it up to her she said that guy was her best fren or some shit. There was also another guy who approached her but i can see that she wasnt interested. But at the same time she possess some girl next door qualities. She goes to work, pays her bills and doesnt force me to buy her expensive stuff. Its only dinner that i always pay, although i do appreciate it if she can sometimes ask if she can pay the bill rather than me always paying it everytime.

she gives u sex and you pay for dinner. sounds like a fair transaction to me. stop being attached to her.

Im scared she will tell me she doesnt see the same way. Also we only recently met and become close, i would say its too early to tell her that im seriously into her. I did give her obvios hints that i like her tho; i did alot of sweet talking and that. Im not sure what she thinks of me. She doesnt really mention openly that she likes me and always mention to her frens that shes single whenever my frens or her frens joke around that we are in love with each other. She also isnt also voluntarily very intimate with me. Its me who always have to hold her hands and initiate kisses, etc..

no sex yet but i think can onz already soon. only made out intimately everytime we meet. Also she doesnt eat ur typically mamak or cheap chinese reataurants. she prefer hotel/ mall restaurants

This post has been edited by JimmyGainz: Feb 20 2019, 03:52 PM

age is small matter. if age is an issue to you, then shes not worth ur time. that said, shes at the age of "marriage"

if you want to target her, probably u can get her. whether shes playing or not with you, what do you have to lose? shes paying anyway.

No girl is really much better than the wrong girl for life.. think about it.

then you're willing for her to play you out without telling your real emotion/thinking of her paying once a while?

but having a girl can make me happy. I have depression and i always feel lonely. Having a girl next to me just gives me motivation to live and stuff. Its the fact that im worried if i let go of her it will take me a very long time to get to know another girl and i will be back to where i was last time, which is being unhappy and sad over being lonely

Lawrence is right. Trust me bro. Dating the wrong girl can be really mentally draining, time wasting and lastly wallet getting thinner. Speaking from experience. I'm sure this is not your only option to fight depression and loneliness. You have friends and hobbies to keep yourself occupied. It really depends on you only.

Ah, sorry friend. It does not look like good news.

The longer and deeper you go into this relationship and find out she was just playing, the worse off you will be. As a matter of fact, falling out of relationship is always painful. But from what u have said so far, you are into this now because u dont want to be lonely or depressed, it is not the right thing to do. You should be in a relationship because u really love her. Of course, another way to see it is, not always u can win someone heart in short period of time. By sticking around long enough, u might change her heart to also love u back. But for now, the best advice if you want to continue is, ALWAYS BE READY FOR THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. This way, u wont fall so bad when s**t hits the ceiling. Good luck.

wow, have feeling for a gal - dunno how she feel - straight think of play her and not take her serious.

you are really a piece of something

I guess the only thing left is to have a frank talk with her about how you feel.

If you said that "can onz already soon" but " i would say its too early to tell her that im seriously into her. I did give her obvios hints that i like her tho" then you have your priorities all wrong. And yeah, hints are as bad as assumptions.

why scared?? don't put her on a pedestal. there are many girls out there


try to a step further. if she still resist while still sucking your wallet then u better cut your contact with her.

Uhm... So you're telling me that you're 22 this year, dated once, shy, awkward and girls doesn't come often in your life. Then you're also telling us that you both make out intimately often, like everytime you both meet; and you think that you can onz with her soon. Hmm.. You don't sound shy and awkward. The things that you mentioned kinda contradicts each other.

Either way, thanks for creating the topic to entertain us with your imaginary girlfriend, if you're a dupe. And if you're not a dupe:

I would like to suggest to give yourself more time before deciding to make her your GF. You're just 22, still very young, and you have just started working in KL not long, there's so much more opportunities for you to get to know more girls. Choosing the first girl that gets close to you sounds like buying your very own first car just because you've test ride on it before on Grab.

You've also mentioned that she doesn't pay for her meals and only chooses to go to mall/hotel restaurants. Do you know that if you're going for a long-term relationship with her, the cost of the food that you're gonna pay for her will surpass any LV, Gucci, Prada, Burberry, Balenciaga, etc expensive gifts? She might not be a girl that asks you for an iPhone for her birthday, just a Nokia 3310 will do... But man, paying for mall/hotel restaurant on a daily basis costs more than just an iPhone... Do the math.

Here are the several red flags in my opinion:
- You're 22, she's 28, when you reach 34, she will reach 40. Boobs starting to swing backwards, her lil' sister's lips gonna touch her knee (okay I'm exaggerating, but you get the point), and you'll be craving for younger women by then, because most of your friends around your age will typically have younger gf/wifes.
- She's just the first girl that you've met in KL, don't need to settle or choose so fast, give yourself more time, give yourself more chance, get to know more girl first.
- Everyday also expensive meals, your wallet will burn a big whole soon. She don't expect you to pay her bills or buy her expensive stuffs now because your "level" is just maybe 'more than friends', but not 'boyfriend' yet. Once you've leveled up, your responsibilities will be different, and you might need to pay more for maintenance as you unlocked more features from her *cough*. If you know what I mean...

But in the end, the choice is yours. Goodluck and have fun, let us know if you "onz" already with her. Let us know if the experience is good or not~

This post has been edited by RubMyGenie_: Feb 20 2019, 04:22 PM

grow a pair of balls n tell her straight la.. rather than guessing in forum lol

wow thats some reallly good read. As mentioned im naturally introverted and shy, and im generally awkward at social situations that involves more than 5 ppl. As such, i only have a small circle of friends, most of of which i have to call them out to hang and chill as they normally wont ask me first. I met this girl through my best bro, who brought me to another frens bday and thats how i met her. Its been 5 months in kl and ive only met one girl, that just sums up my personality. Normal ppl adapt easier and probably have met tons of girls within such a time span. Yeah age is probably a big factor, and she will turn 30 yrs soon where many ppl often describe as the 'expiry date'. Also not everyday la, probably 2-3 times a week? Nonetheless its not that i really cannot afford, i drive an Audi A5 so financially i wont say im in any tough situation. Its just i dont want the feeling of a girl leeching me off everytime. I want a girl who has a sense of caring, like someone who maybe has thoughts of sharing responsibilities; in my case sometimes offering to pay the bills.

There really arent much girls out there

There are alot of girls in kl that are already taken, and even if they arent there are a shit load of competition i have to fight off from guys because of the gender imbalance...Thats why it comes back to the feeling of me feeling sad if i cut contact with her because i know deep down i dont really meet much girls in my life due to my shy and introverted personality. The only thing i stand out is that i dont have much financial restraints so i can pretty much afford what a girl wants. I graduated from a UK uni and working in my grandfathers company in KL. But my aim is to find a girl next door that is pretty confident with her goals and dont leech too much from me. Im looking for a girl that wants to share responsibilities financially with me too and treat me equally as much as i treat her. those sort of vibes

If you like her then should let her know, or you want to maintain this situation until she meet her mr right in future?

If what you are telling is true, graduated from a UK uni and working in grandfathers company in KL. Is mean that you don't have fanincial issue for paying the meal.

-Drive Audi A5.
-Work in Grandfather's company.

No wonder she still haven't left u and dont mind u are young.

Vibes? Ok, tell me something, how well do you both connect emotionally and mentally? What kind of conversation do you both have together? What are the common interest you both share?

There are plenty of single girls with matching characteristics with you in KL who are not taken. But, since you've fixed your eyes and mind on this girl whom you've met 5 months, you're probably too blind to notice the rest.

Being serious with someone who's 6 years elder at the age of 22, is different from being serious with someone who's 6 elder than you when you're 30! Girls mature in thinking faster than guys. Based on what you've mentioned so far, if the feelings between you both are mutual, she either would not have said that she's single when asked/teased or, she would have understood your hints and responded. Point is, by now, she already knows whether wants to be serious with you or not.

You have a long way to go. Being an introvert is not the end of the road. You can always mend your ways and meet new people who'll be much more worthy.

This post has been edited by Tanyaa: Feb 21 2019, 08:27 AM

a decent girl will probably be "paiseh" when you pay once too often......I believe she knows you have some feelings towards her too. girls got bloody got radar. like most forummer here said, maybe you should move up a level, maybe trying to hold hands (if you are too afraid to tell her face to face) or put your arm around her.....etc etc ......(*for more tips, go watch more love movies)........in any case, if you are stuck in "I am paying for meals" stage, then you will likely lose this girl too cos she might think you are a little too passive.

Dude, man up and tell her how you feel, you are feeling insecure and perhaps she is too..

Somehow, seems like you aren't into her rather you are just despo, u did mention yourself

stop giving yourself excuses. there are many guys like you out there that's why there will always be single and available girls. it's either you take action and approach more girls or whine in the forum when a girl starts milking you and giving you shit.

there's lot of education videos on youtube on how to approach girls, from both guy and girl perspective. spend some time and go study about it.

Yeah we started holding hands, and we moved up a level on our intimacy towards each other. Its just its mostly me starting to hold her hands first and always me that ones to initiate erhem in bed....Also i dont want her to be over dependent on me financially as she never offer to pay anything when eating/watching movie/clubbing. At this point im not sure shes just playing around with my feelings and i lowkey have the feeling that she will give excuses about her being 28 and not having the right perspectives and goals when i ask her about being together

at this stage, you will want to know and understand more about her. if you want to test her commitment to the relationship and you, maybe you should suggest going for a trip.....say still in Malaysia but different state (explore her state or yours if you are both from different state) and ask if you both can share the cost. if she is unwilling to share the cost, then you better be cautious since she might well be exactly the person you dread.....just sucking on you. and during the trip, you might want to take the opportunity to try to dig info like how long her previous relationship last.....what went wrong.....what went right......who was the most memorable ex-bf and what did he do.....etc etc......this would allow you to know what are you getting into.......and what are her expectation in a guy.

TS, what do you actually mean by this statement

We hooked up quite a number of times and we've became very intimate with each other

Intimate means more than holding hands. Have you

1) seen her naked

2) got a BJ /HJ

But seriously.. just enjoy this while it last.

I have dated younger men like 8-12 years younger than me...and yes, I prefer younger men. mostly, they pay for meals, movies, clubbing etc. Only thing I never wanted/request are expensive gifts from them and so far I see she is not doing that. Besides, financial is not a problem for you right? aiyo, just pamper her lah. If I had a bf, yes, he pays for our outings. Not say must lah, but to most women, it's just a normal thing a gentleman who can afford should do.

This post has been edited by michlove: Feb 21 2019, 11:25 AM

Yes and she was so fkin good at number 2 just swallowed it after i erhem

Not gonna lie that was so enjoyable and something i dont really expereince too often

This post has been edited by JimmyGainz: Feb 21 2019, 11:24 AM

Yes i asked her if she wants to go to bali and she agreed. I havent ask her yet about coughing up for the shared costs but she most likely will want me to pay for her air ticket the very least. To be fair we talk about her past relationships alot already, she mentioned she was abused and beaten by her ex really badly till police came...

Money is not an issue but you know, shes 28 and working with quite a descent salary, i would expect her to have more class and sometimes offer to pay. Im not saying i shouldnt pamper her and that but its just common courtesy to at least offer to pay up once at the very least? Tbh maybe im just a stingy person that only spends alot on himself and has barely dated or even went out with a girl thats why i feel this way now

You heard the lady! Be a "gentleman" and cough up yer dough!

To be frank and from what you have shared with us so far, I am not getting the vibe that she would like to go steady with you. But if she does anyway, more power to you!

read again what I wrote at the end there.....

I dont know know... i feel that she is just not the ideal girl for me because she already 28 and so im always having this feeling of stingyness, yet i dont really get to know much girls in kl as well. Also we arent really official together, god knows what she wants when we together. My hope is just for her to not be a princess and im hoping we can share equal responsibilities when we r together... Do you think she might just want to be with me because of my steady financial background? ps shes not really that well off and lives in a low cost apartment housing with her parents

This post has been edited by JimmyGainz: Feb 21 2019, 11:46 AM

why you so judgemental one towards her? So what is she lives in a low cost apartment? No wonder you don't often get to know any girls in KL. Do you think younger girls than you like 18 or 20 would be much better?

TS... i know a lady...while she can afford to live in a luxurious house... she prefer to live in a low cost apartment. Because to her, as long as the house is good she need not to spend so much.

Lagi worse kan, how to share costs with a partner who drives an A5 at that age?

go out to bar drink and then tell her u like her

You got some issues here... but hey everyone got their own issues, i have mine too.

Ok lets get to the talk. I recently just got out of a relationship like yours too.

Trust me, if she is the one, and she is serious about you, she will show you to the world, post pictures of you and her, or just announcing the existence of you.

If she doesnt do that, you know you are just a pit stop and she just want to test drive.

If she loves you, age doesnt matter even if she is at the marriage stage. She will does everything with you to make sure you two get married.

What you can do here my compadre, just dont take this serious if you are sure she isnt by discussing this topic with her. If you are sure she aint gonna marry you, just treat her as an experience.

YES i understand how you feel that you afraid to be alone after losing her because I am going through it myself now.

BUT nothing hurts more than finding out the truth of her breaking up with you because of another guy.

So please sing this song with me, or at least read the lyrics :

You better cut that girl loose
What are you, a coward?
Who are you helping?
You got the power
Then do what you said you can
And do it for her
You better cut that girl loose, ah
Set it free
Let it be
Leave it be
Oh yes

What other guy? From what TS is telling so far, sounds like she's just leading a free life committed to no one. And there's no break-up if there wasn't a relationship to begin with. TS didn't even have the guts to have a heart-to-heart talk about their relationship status, which he really should, so he can get a direct answer from her and decide where to go from there.

Wanna hear from another woman's perspective?
Firstly, I do not agree with michlove's opinion of genders having that kind of expectation from each other. It's archaic and condescending to both genders. As you mentioned, the girl you're interested in is working with a decent salary. There is ZERO excuse for her to NOT take turns treating you. Even if she's making less than you or has financial commitments, she can still occasionally treat you to cheaper outings within her budget to express her appreciation for you, like movie tickets, or snacks, etc. Heck, even friends take turns covering for each other! Stop enabling the "princess" mind set. And to those girls who hold this to their heart like the gospel, please have some dignity for yourself. We can't demand mutual respect from men if we can't even give back equal treatment. Just stop with the double standards.

Secondly, your main issue here is you didn't even talk to her thoroughly about the nature of your friendship/relationship with her! I find it hilarious that you seem to have more priority in having ONZ with her than actually addressing the issue of your ambiguous relationship with her.

Where are your priorities, boy? Stop wasting your time. Go have a heart-to-heart talk to her and find out if she really wants a committed relationship with you. And if your excuse is that you're just afraid of the answer and end up alone, then you already have BIGGER issues: Your self-esteem needs a lot of work. Hopefully that's not the case.

After dating so many girls in my younger days, my conclusion is that girls who don't offer to pay after the 3rd date is not worth as a long term gf.

It shows lack of courtesy to the other person.

You're not stingy. Quite the opposite.. you're a door mat or atm machine. Take your pick.

If you want to have fun with her then by all means go ahead.
But if you are looking for a proper relationship then she is definitely not one you would be happy with.

Try this.. next time you date her ask her to pay for something. Do that for a few times (maybe once is suffice) and she will most likely not be free to date you anymore. Trust me.. this is a great filter for relationship material.

...that is why i mentioned in my first sentence back to my original post... "you have issues". You get it ? I aint even sure if they are already official because TS makes it sound like a NO or simply one sided. And whether true or not, TS is going to feel hurt sooner or later when TS finds out about the women finally going official with another dude. Trust me, it is going to happen sooner or later due to her condition TS described.

Unless of course, TS man-up with balls and communicate with the women for real and come clear about their relationship.

This post has been edited by exdtan: Feb 22 2019, 10:10 AM

Kudos... man you sound like an experienced one

I just want to make this clear;I've only met her for less than a month, and its only recently that I've started growing close to her so i would need to get to know her more before i want to commit in a relationship and ask her about dating and that. Yes i agree with you, michlove is also probably one of the typical kl girls with princess mentality. I'm trying to put out the fact that a girl needs to show some appreciation and courtesy back by offering to pay back for dinner, drinks, not everytime la but you know once in awhile can really make a difference. At this point I'm not sure about my priorities. I feel that just her being my companion is good enough already. Someone who can go out for drinks with me, movies, shopping , etc...Also my Audi A5 does look so much better with a girl beside me hahah. I just felt really lonely in the last few months since i arrived in KL, and her coming into my life actually made me happy. Should i just go with the flow for abit more before deciding whether to pop the question?

Wait now i think of it, she does cough up the money. There was a time when me and her were drinking with a friend. We got stopped halfway in a roadblock and had to bribe a police officer to let me go... I dint have any cash with me and all the atm's were closed, so she just coughed up like a hundred bucks to cover me. She also paid for my ramli burger twice so thats not too bad i guess...

Just face the fact ur a typical kl princess. Why cant you just show some appreciation to ur flings by offering to pay? I'm not trying to ask you to pay everytime, just once will make a difference.Its just common courtesy and a show of appreciation to the guy. You lack all of this thats why you dont deserve a wholesome rich boy. the boys you dated are probably young 'lala zai'(fk boys) who probably drive a myvi and feeds on their parents money for you.

haha...why you butthurt? anyways, young boys like you don't show off here lah. so what you drive an audi. Very sure she just treat u like an ATM. Good luck....lol

you see there's a girl i dated recently insist on paying me back her portion after each outings

although I say just RM 20 is enough (token sum) while the rest i cover for her, she refused and handed the cash over, made me no choice but have to take

she seems doesn't want to owe me anything

Meet for less than a month and already she BJ and swallow you?

Hmm...

No la just want you to admit it urself that ur a princess that dont deserve a wholesome guy. I'm trying to point out that you shouldnt always leech on ur guy and sometimes offer to share certain responsibilties and help him out. I'm teaching you how to be a person, pointing to u what is common courtesy and show of appreciation. You need young guy to teach u such simple and basic manners meh? aiyooo They say most girls have more matured minds than guys yet kl girls like you dont understand such simple thing? As mentioned i just remeberred she did cough up money in certain situations.

Then consider yourself lucky lo.... I dont even have a chance to meet this kind of girls :/

TS gotta burn his purse, pocket & bank account.

Thats considered long, based on the ffedback i receive from ppl i know most girls already doing alot of onz stuff with their guys within a week or two after meeting together lol

You invite her to bali and yet complain about spending on her. what the fish you talking.

You want to talk bout shared responsibilities but you boast bout your Audi and stuffs like that.

Come on, grow up. So many contradictions coming from you. Don't even know what the fish you want. If money is not the problem for you, why you worry about those hundred/thousand bucks. Please la. If want to gold dig, they will gold dig richer guys. Why aim for you? Audi but stingy to spend and even insulted her to live in low cost building. Haihz.

First of all, I'm not complaining on spending her too much on a girl. And yes, most girls would want to gold dig me if they know me because im the gold standard who drives a continental car at 22 and grandson of a USD 500 million company. Dont be salty. I'm just pointing out the fact that girls should at least show some class by taking a small initiative to at least show their appreciation and care for the guy by offering to spend the guy back; maybe doing small deeds like buying coffee for the guy will mean the whole world to him. I dont want a girl to just gold dig me because of my financial background, that is just wrong in my opinion. Whoever said i insulted her? I just mentioned she lives in a low cost building, that is not an insult.

This post has been edited by JimmyGainz: Feb 22 2019, 12:13 PM

If you're not degrading her financial status then what is your point to mention her house?

\

Just giving you a small overview background of her la

So she DID pay for a few occasions.

So where is the part where she didn't share responsibilities? And remind us why you were saying she's a gold digger.

My Rich Fren, instead of buying coffee for you, she already bought you a freaking Ramli Burger. Twice. So you got your small deed that would mean the whole world to you already. Twice. Apa lagi mau?

Maybe i wasnt exactly too clear in giving a detailed explanation of my activities with her. She enjoys going ktv and ppl who go there do 'stuff' that makes them high and they can stay there from morning until night. those kind of place. I told her im tired and just say lets go hotel. She just die die say no and must go ktv. I'm like i accompany u go ktv few times edy, least u could do for me is be for me and stay at hotel with me because im tired and cant really drive coz drink alot. You know, just caring for each other those sort of vibes. When did i mentioned she was a gold digger? Dude u got read my posts or not if no dontsimply coomment la diu waste my time only. Im just saying i spend and treat her 5x more than what she did for me la,

1. Yup she is selfish for doing that to you.

2. Yup you have been implying the entire thread that she is more interested in your ability to spend, and her reluctance in reciprocating financial responsibilities despite having adequate income abilities. A short version of that is generally "gold digger".

3. Maybe you spend 5x more than what she does because your grandfather's company is more than 5x her entire extended family's aggregated value

Because you have been complaining about forking money for her despite being rich. If I'm rich, I will never complain about this issue.

Side note becareful of your language please

This post has been edited by fearless_kiki: Feb 22 2019, 12:57 PM

Salty? hahaha you made my day. what a funny joke coming from a 22 years old kid asking for opinion yet degrading comments from people and insulting the girl he plans to court. No doubt you are rich as hell but too bad you got that insecurity inside that you are always going to think girls gold dig you, LOL have fun forever with that thinking. Besides, you are just lucky you come from a golden spoon family. Let's see what happens if the wealth goes to you. Wonder how are you going to sustain that wealth for long since your attitude is like that. I don't even need to be envious of you. I carve my own path and doing well so far. I don't go boosting around talking bout audi, degrading girls and then having the nerve to post on forum about your own wealth. No wonder you can be filthy dirty rich but no experience with girls. I think we can guess what's the reason for that

Enough said, reply all you want. I rest my case trying to help such preposterous kid like you. The only advantage from you is what your family give you, not what you can give people HAHA

mmm everyone is different i guess. I come from a protective family who tirelessly lecture me about not simply spending money on outsiders and i guess i kinda grew up with that mentality of being aware of how i spend my money and that. I say what i want to say, this is my post, if you dont like my way of language dont comment

Just lecturing on your manners about how to talk to people, kid. This is simple etiquette. Do your parents not teach you to speak politely? Since you are a... Rich kid? It's rude to use foul language. Go back to school if you haven't learn your manners.

lol is it a bad thing that I'm insecure about whether a girl really likes me or just wants to old dig me? I grew up under a family that is very protective and cautious on how i deal with my money, especially on outsiders. I'm just merely asking on advice on what i should do yet ur commenting shit and not giving any help. I'm merely just giving my background and hers so everyone can assess the situation in a clearer manner.

Alamak now want change topic and talk about my manners.This is a chill online forum, i can text you how unconventionally i want. If you got nothing to say about my situation dont waste ur time and comment on the post.

oh boy, where do i start?

oh yeah, just F'n'Dump her. what do you have to lose? you're 22 and loaded. you are lucky she is not clingy to you because she has others F'boys out there.

you should be like ok, we are done. take your number and wait for my call. next!!

what if she's still a uni student? hasn't start earning money yet?

This post has been edited by tehoice: Feb 22 2019, 02:11 PM

[quote=tehoice,Feb 22 2019, 02:08 PM]
[quote=Xzqt,Feb 22 2019, 03:39 AM]
After dating so many girls in my younger days, my conclusion is that girls who don't offer to pay after the 3rd date is not worth as a long term gf.

It shows lack of courtesy to the other person.

[/quote
what if she's still a uni student? hasn't start earning money yet?

[/quote]


Tbh it still shouldnt be an excuse to not offer to pay.

Hentam jer!!

teach people? just because you drive an audi?

Hai fren, we have already advised you to talk to her directly about what makes you unhappy with her.

We already told you that she is not serious with the relationship, she is comfortable with the status quo. Perhaps you are quite different in real life, but the vibe many of us are getting is that you are more than happy to announce that you have your grandfather's ringgits pouring out of your ears. A showboaty person is not a humble person, therefore making generosity by others (her) a hard thing to express back to you.

Apart from the (perhaps mostly sexual) companionship, she is not what you are looking for.

You asked for a coffee, you get a Ramli. Obviously you are not happy with that.

Ok, tell you what, we will just tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Yeah you are very lonely, yeah she is very bad to you. Yeah you should go play her. Happy now?

What audi? Am i wrong to tell him that a girl shouldnt always be the one to wait for ppl to pay? I dont understand why ppl like you dont understand simple shit like this.

I dont normally go online and ask for advice, but i do it this once because I'm just confused. Maybe i give you the vibe that im a showboaty person, but im merely just trying to give you both of our life background perspectives so you all will have a clearer imae of the situation.

Believe me when I say I am far from the only person who is getting that vibe.

We already gave you our advice. Would you like to spin the wheel for another?

What you mean by we? Most ppl here give different answers. Stop saying as if your opinion is on behalf on everyone else here who commented lol

Yup, everyone gave different answers. It was a collective "we". My opinion was surely my own.

1. 22yo
2. full of dedication
3. new in kl, won't get to know new friends? you're still very young mah phren...
4. teach people how to be a girl
5. accuse of people dont understand.

okla, go on, you should carry on.
wish you all the best.

Damn WTF. I think I'm old already..this new generation damn horny. lol

There. Fixed

Show Rolex and Audi, 1 week kao dim lol.
But seriously TS, being 22 year old and receiving everything that you can possibly dream off, did you give back the same to your parents or grand parents?
Same situation, your dating a gold digger and doing the same what your parents and grand parents did for you, whats so hard? I don't believe they ask you to give back everything they spend on you and such so why not the girl can't do the same?

If you are the grandson of a 500mil USD company in Malaysia, I tend to assume that an arrange marriage will be more common as the parents wants a daughter that has business connection so not sure if your parents will just accept any girls that your dating without a background check.

That's just a my opinion, I do not know you so I can't judge on your character or anything as of now, just giving base on everything I read here.

Edit: Just to rephrase a bit here, most of the guys out there that are dating are constrain to a certain budget but you don't hold the same rule here, so your ability to attract girls that either they like you or not is normal. You need a lesser effort compared to other guys here which wants to start a relationship.

This post has been edited by Spawny: Feb 22 2019, 04:18 PM

LOL true. At 22, I was driving my mom's old Perdana. No wonder take so long to piap with my gf.

But seriously, you mentioned that she likes to go KTV to get high. Is that someone you want to be with for the long term? If it's just to onz and have fun, then you already know your answer on what to do next.

I would like to offer my suggestions to so many of your posts from the perspective of a 52 year old man. I will give a longer reply because there will be no simple answers.
My observations
1. You said you are 22 years old UK graduate but I found out your english expression is very poor, I don't understand what you are an writing until you elaborate further.
You really need to brush up your vocabulary and english expression.
For the expression "Gold Digger" it usually means woman who approach man or marry them for the purpose of getting gift and present or money and will leave the man
if the man no longer provide these gift, present or money. But can you call her gold-digger if you have not give her any expensive gift or cash ?

2. You are an in the process of developing from a child into an adult like an adolescent.

2. You are really young at 22 years old and you said your family is rich like the top 1%.

3. You said you are shy and lonely until you met this 28 years old girl.

4. You complain she does not pay for most bills but she sexually satisfy you and she is a good companions.

What I think a 22 years old should do

1. A 22 years old man with rich family should pursue his career and gain more knowledge. Get a MBA or a Master degree !, Why wasting your life going out to KTV and parties ?
These type of entertainment should really be occasional like every 2 weeks.

2. You should widen your circle of friends and contacts related to your career and business. Call up your old classmate and see what they are doing. Have more concern for your
friends and old classmates.

Sexual Relationship

Because you are an adolescent, you fancy sex and always you want her to go to hotel rather than to ktv.

You wrote so nicely of her so may I suggest you ask her to live with you in your parent house or you rent a apartment and live together. In this way you can have sex everyday and
know better of her. If she can do BJ well then you can bring that into a higher level by doing icy water BJ alternate with Hot Tea BJ.

When you and her are living together, then you can work out a family budget. Ask her to save this % and leave that % for spending on entertainment. In a process call budgeting,
let say you earn 8K and she earns 5K, you can at least ask for join budget on entertainment say 2k to go KTV and drinking. She can also give suggestions for other places etc and
everything will evolve from there.

What types of Girlfriend or prospective wife you should avoid that are WRONG :-

1. Older girl make bad girlfriend or wife is not true. Older within 10 years of your age is ok but rather a 22 year having intimate girlfriend should not have happened .. Older women
are smarter so if she care for you why not ?

2 Girls that are stingy and do not share or pay expenses when dating. 1st of all please do not spend money you cannot afford. Nowadays KTV and drinking per night can cost RM500
and above for 2 persons. So if you do not have the cash please do not go spending and later blame your girlfriend for not sharing the bills. Go to watch a movie or sport activities would
be better.

Girls are always conservative and like to save money. Eastern oriental values are always placing the man as head of family and the person who pay the bills. So Naturally even she has
the money, she would not pay for you unless you are living with her with budget done and agreed together. On the other hand if she pay part of your expenses, you may feel she look
down on you or has other demand. My conclusion is that Girls that are stingy and do not share or pay expenses when dating are not necessary bad girlfriend.

For your information girls are always an expense item, most man will spend thousand to get a girlfriend and get married, many more thousand to raise the kids. So really you need to
spend and choose wisely and only the very lucky one (<1%) will get money help from their girfriend and wife.

3. Better late than never is not true in a relationship. In your case you may want to wait for her to tell you how she love you can able to pay the bills etc but why not you now ask her
whether she is willing to live with you and face you everyday and sort things out together. You said you already know her for a few months then you already has intimate relationship
then go to the next step.

The Benefits you can get from Living together (同居)
1. When you and your girlfriend are living together, you will knows more about her than ever. From there you will grow up more mature. If she ask you for a 2 carat diamond ring as
gift (40K) then you can call her gold digger otherwise please do not assume things before it happened, because that is call prejudice.

2. Demystifying sex. Man want love because they want sex and Woman want sex because they want love is always true. Sex has been greatly exaggerated by commercialization especially
the Japanese AV star in porn movie. When you live together and have daily sex, there is really nothing so mysterious about it.

3. At 22 years old if you already living together there is a good chance you can get a good marriage and happy family and plenty of children. Imagine if you get married at 25 and your sons
may be 20 years old when you are 45 years old. You can retire early and spend you life playing for another 40 years until 85 years old if you can live that long.

What do you need to do to prepare for Living Together (同居)

Because you mentioned she has agreed to go for oversea trip with you together, I see a good chance she will agree to living with you.You need your parent support in living together with her.
How to persuade your parents are difficult for me to suggest but even for yourselves who need to make this decision. But I can only say these few points.

1. Life is like a journey and we need to experience life and not speculate and gossip about it.

2. I am ready and willing to solve all problem when living together with her. This is what love means solving problem caring and tolerating each other for their weakness. The first girl I met would
be the best one because I do not know when I can know another girl or even another girl may be worse than her.

3. Living together allow us to compromise and sort things out but if it does not work, we can separate without the hassle of a formal divorse with so much embarrasment to everyone. I can still
able to stand up and look for another girlfriend if I breakup with her.

Note

Try not to have baby when you are living together, things will be irreversible.

Try to voice out whatever you want with her before and after living together. Thats is where you sort all the differences. Either you tolerate and forgive her or she change to suit you. That should
be your expectation and not surfing /k and speculating this and that. You have a good background so make full use of it !

Try to set a 2 years limit to any living together before registering for marriage. If you or her found out that the others has serious problem then better breakup than continue living together.

I see you and her living together as the best options, she will behave differently when living with you so you can further assess. For the better or worse outcome, you have nothing to lose as you
are very young.

Perhaps also the following may help

What is the best quality of a girlfriend/wife ?

1. Love and care for you and continue to do so even after marriage. This means sacrifying her time for you.

2. Some objections but finally agreed to what you say. You must be tactful too.

3. Good interpersonal skills. Need to make your parents and relative happy.

4. Physically healthy and with good family background but not necessary rich.

5. Hardworking and willing to care for the family. If she don't care about cleaniness then she is a lazy person. If she always said your this is dirty but would not clean it for you then this is called
demanding but uncaring. If she always like to learn this and do that but end up doing nothing then she is a dreamy person.

6. Can have baby. (So better prove she can get pregnant before marriage)

This post has been edited by 2malaysia: Feb 22 2019, 04:08 PM

omg... what a reply that was...
I currently work in my grandfather's office. Sorry if i gave out the impression that my english was poor; i was giving out rushed replies from my office laptop. Also, i believe my level of vocabulary is descent enough for anyone to understand. Frankly speaking, i really dont enjoy the work I'm doing now. I dont talk to my work mates and i have no motivation in learning about the business(they do MLM). At the same time I'm also not interested in doing masters due to certain health issues that i shall not disclose.

I think you are right. By this week I'm planning to move out and stay in one of the apartment my family owns near KLCC with a friend. I'm planning to also ask the girl to stay with me to get to know her better and see out all the differences we have in each other. Also, yeah she agreed to go Bali with me but only if i agree to pay for her tickets. But i dont know, im afraid if she expects me to pay everything for the trip.

BTW, i forgot to mention all the KTV trips i go with her are free, because she knows alot of people tat open tables and i dont really drink much so theres not much expenses involved apart from me buying cigs to smoke lol

Nonetheless, a really interesting perspective from a 52 year old. Everything you put out comes from someone with alot of experience in life, and truthfully i appreciate your advice. I hope to be able to improve myself as a person and understand my situation with this girl better.

Oh my.... 2malaysia, you've just made My Genie came out without some good Rubbin'... Someone should actually pin this post. Tbh there's really a lot of good points there that the younger generation should learn.

Genie approves.

ViktorJ eh shiba see this

This post has been edited by RubMyGenie_: Feb 22 2019, 04:54 PM

Yes, i was once a water fish. Thats how i learned. Lol.


How many times had you gone out with her?
If its many then that is in no way comparable right? Roadblock is adhoc and does not count. Ramli is too cheap to be counted in comparison to what you had been dishing out.
Being considerate means like in a date you pay the meal, then she pays desert / movie / wherever you both hang out after makan. This should come naturally in a genuine mutually interested relationship.

Just because you can afford it does not mean you should always pay.

Also i understand that you are young and want to flaunt you car and wealth. Do understand that when you flaunt you will of course attract girls interested in what you flaunt. If you really want to find a genuine relationship, focus on your personality and dont flaunt money and assets.

Its just a principle some girls have. That does not mean she is not interested in you. Why you want her to owe you anything? Do you think that if you pay more you will have a relationship? Thats not how it work for a genuine relationship.