So I've decided to unleash my creative side and start writing a blog. I have dabbled in a few short pieces every now and then but ever since I've got this sweet CM Storm Quickfire with Mx Blue Switch Keyboard , I've decided to take writing to a more serious level. It would be very helpful if you guys and girls would take a few minutes to have a read and tell me your honest opinions on it; the language, grammar use, etc.

Thanks a lot

http://farthewriter.blogspot.com/

This post has been edited by Far_76: Dec 28 2014, 07:47 PM

TLDR. Only your family would follow you.

read dy. so alisya is your waifu now? jelly

ok, story ok. a tad short, felt rushed. expand a little.

It's supposed to be a real story filled with words, not pics


Well I'm aiming for writing bits of story at a time which ends up with the ending. Maybe two posts per week. This is just the start of the story , but thanks for the feedback

keep it up. interesting meeting with alisya in the bus, though didnt expect such to happen, but hey, it could afterall.

Humble beginnings, very much reflect an experience. You intend to write a novel one day or just want to do this for fun?

In my personal opinion the story need more omph if you are serious in writing a book.

Language I can't comment much because I'm not "grandma" masters my self but I feel it's good enough, don't have to put in mr.bombastick words anyway.

I like some of the expression used.

Hoping for a novel one day. Well at least be a partially serious writer.

Thanks a lot for the comment. Will improve on the story as it goes on

the stories are like a day to day scene.

i feel like you need to sharpen your descriptions without being too wordy as it might feel a little draggy.

nice effort nonetheless. for me, I would prefer you to write a longer story in less draggy descriptions

Allow me to offer you my 2 cents based solely on your recent write up. I like most of what you write but find the act of reading it rather tedious. The reason for this is simple. You write too formally and you don't use many contractions. For example:



Could be written as "I don't experience the caffeine high".



"I called her later in the evening".



"He wasn't actually named after the country"

That's just a small basic tip. Try to be a lot more casual in your writing. In the book 'Strunk & White's Elements of Style' it is said that if you can say something in a simpler fashion, you should write it that way. Avoid lengthy prose for shorter ones. Of course you shouldn't write it like short sentences a child would write. The would just be monotonous. You should write like how you speak. That would be a lot more approachable for many readers. Take note one the point I made about contractions and how simple it is to improve your sentence with that small change.

2) Try to give a bit more description to the scene. The props. But don't go overboard. And try not to use long sentences punctuated with commas.



I looked around and noticed the mismatched furniture. The way the gaudy maroon tiled floors clashed with the sleek black chairs and tables. It was oddly... admirable. I suppose I have an affinity for those with an eccentric streak..............

The reason why you should give just a bit more description is to allow for the reader to imagine your writing. It's hard to imagine mismatched furniture. It's easier to see gaudy maroon tiles and sleek black chairs. Plus, it also say's something about your character, so it could be an important narrative piece.

3) You have to decide whether you're writing a blog post, or a story. This is just my personal opinion. I hate addressing the reader... especially if it's done too often (if it's story writing. Blog posts... go ahead and talk to the reader as much as you want). It should be used sparingly. Whenever stories address the reader, it often comes as a surprise, a twist that suddenly the writer is aware of the reader reading this first person tale. It can be nice if written to take into account the twist in the story. Not to constantly guess the reader's thoughts.

There. That's all the time I have to give you some tips. Overall, good job. A good example of first person writing are PG Wodehouse's Jeeves & Wooster series. You should check them out. Have fun writing.

abit boring.. no pictures all words

Thank you. Will try to improve on the draggyness

Now this is proper constructive criticism. Very much appreciated kind person. Will look into the books you suggested

Will try to add a picture or two later on. Thanks

In terms of the terms & sentences used in your post, I think is better than average and appropriate for a typical story writer with better standard.

I didn't read too much on the content but I think overall is not bad. Good for casual reading if people want to learn more about other people lifestyle.

I want to comment on the blog design. The widget used in your blog is quite basic, perhaps you want to search for something new and add somemore. The blog design is basically black, white & gray, which is a little dull. So you might want to look for a better template since your blog is about lifestyle, so adding some color into it could be better.