idk. i didnt feel like being pampered tho.



maybe. but i just cant help it. whenever i lay idle, my minds 'automatically' thinks about how worthless my life is, how i would do everyone a favor by ending my life. i tried to think positively, n for a moment, the thought will go away. but, it cames back as soon as it left my mind.

sometimes u need to bid ur time until u find ur calling and purpose. tht is the hardest part and most mundane.

being alive is great. so much challenges, so much uncertainties, so many experiment u can do.

and as for ur gf, i think if both of u r not tht close or there isn't any plan to get married, u have to becareful wat u share with her. some girls are made to be with u no matter wat, but some, well, they are only suitable on good days of ur life.

actually my gf still asks about it from time to time. its me who choose not to talk about it.

coz, before this, i usually talk to her when the thought 'attacks'. n it is usually past midnight when everybody already sleeps.

good to know u have a supporting gf. it helps.

go get a hobby TS,u need one

Jom yumcha !! Where you stay?

Free counselling session 4 u

All other suggestions are good. If they still don't work, consider changing your room/apt. Shift to other places. Environment sometimes play a part in your mind. May sound superstitious, but no harm trying if all else fail

I am not trolling you, What I say is What I mean...

See a psychiatrist.
I believe none of those who replied here is a qualified psychiatrist.

Sometimes medication is needed.

This post has been edited by LegendLee: Jul 2 2014, 11:17 AM

first off, whatever you do, don't kill yourself. your life is precious not only to you about others as well especially your parents.

as you're at a stage where you're beginning to ponder what is it all for, give it time. give time to yourself to find life's purpose for yourself. the meaning of your life is to give it meaning and purpose. now you're in uni, make the best of it. i personally feel that's the best years one could have. i missed those years. it helped me to shape my thoughts and purpose, place in life.

what do humans search for in their life? the answer is obviously, HAPPINESS. Each has his own definition of what happiness is to them. It may mean having a roof under our head (many don't have), a religion, an expensive toy, a branded handbag, a new girl friend(s) like in your case (remember the time she said yes to u?), a college education, a promotion, more moolah to feed/keep that happiness going and yes in typical k style - SEX. People look for happiness everywhere.. similarly people prefer not to experience things that could cause them to lose that very happiness, so that they'd stay happy (your statement of wanting to be that person 1 year ago). This happiness is actively and inactively pursued throughout the stages of our life. And it changes as time passes on...It is not lasting though many take it to be because there's always an 'IF' to their perceived happiness. "I'll be happier if I get that car... I'll be happy if have more money (of course u do but when does it end?)", "I'll be happy if i can go back to the person i was 1 year ago" etc etc. This happiness is conditional meaning if the reasons for our being happy have ceased, then we go back to being unhappy. And so it starts again and again like a roller-coaster up n down x999999 ... and it always almost seems like unsatisfactoriness is running our life (easily satisfied people are happier, yes or no?).

Here's my take on having a fulfilling life:

1. Having
Like what i said earlier, pursuing the 'haves' can give u a certain measure of happiness/satisfaction. It could be wealth - a higher pay check, health, relations with people, beauty, a hobby (like someone suggested earlier) expensive stuff, exotic food, korean plastic surgery?, marriage, your university degree now perhaps? aim to do well, learn from past mistakes, what matters is NOW and hereon.

2. Not Having
By not having, i mean it is better for us not to resort to unsatisfactoriness/jelly of what others have/ill will/all those negative emotions. Instead, cultivate Contentment and Gratitude for things you already and or still have (refer to no.1). Knowing when it's enough is one of the keys to real happiness in our life though adverts for gadgets/service/products etc will beg to differ. Count your blessings, you're alive and well that's a good reason to be happy really if you ponder on it.

3. Giving - Make it a Habit
Giving away things can make one happy - it can be your belongings, your time to a friend... a noble cause, your kind words, your service etc. When you see the recipients of your kindness/selfless giving happy, it will naturally spill over to you. You'll sleep better at nigh and find your life begins to have purpose

4. Giving up/Letting go - Make it a Habit
Letting go here means letting go of our attachments, our past failures, usual comforts, negative emotions: greed, hatred, anger, feelings of suicidal etc etc) This is a little harder to do and it takes practice and checking of emotions because we are creatures of emotions, we are their slaves, they control us most of the time... let them go so that you can their master. Sing the "Let it Go" song if you have to. Start forgiving yourself for phailing that paper and let it stay in the past. Start afresh with new optimism and hope. Give yourself a chance to succeed, to give your life meaning and purpose, don't quit without fighting.

5. Cultivating Good/Moral Conduct - Make it a Habit
by means of mind, actions and speech based on pure and loving intentions. having a clear conscience sets one's mind at peace IMO) Does this make sense? Btw, you don't need a religion to do that but if you already have one you can relate to this point that i'm making better. You can still do all the good things a human is capable of doing without a religion.

6. Cultivating the Mind - You need this
As we feed our belly with food 24/7 so do we need to feed our mind with wholesomeness. This can be done by actively watching our mind and its endless motives. example: when anger arises be aware of that anger having arisen and continue watching it till it cease. It could save you from executing an action like killing someone or yourself or something that you may regret for life if you let anger (other strong emotions as well) take control over you - if it stops in the mind it won't manifest itself in your actions and speech. So being aware of our mind is a skill that could really help you maneauvre the complications and brave the vicissitudes of life. Try to always think, do, and speak positive and keep those negativity at bay by looking at them like an object, they come they go. they don't always occupy your mind space for long periods, they take breathers too and come back. They come back less when all your positives are firing on all cylinders

7. UNDERSTANDING
Happiness is sandwiched in between unhappiness - cultivate an understanding that 'this too shall pass' - not be overly overly happy (well you can actually lol) as unhappiness could be just around the corner (this is not the same as being pessimistic ya?). Similarly not to be overly sad as happiness may just pops out of nowhere where you least expected it. It's sort of like having an equanimous/balanced attitude/mind. I find that this bring a great measure of calm to me personally.


And as suggested by many already, you need to talk call the numbers given or u can pm me.

This post has been edited by hotjake: Jul 2 2014, 11:49 AM

never exercise before you sleep...bad idea..exercise in the morning or evening before dinner....all you need is a confident boost before that find out what are u unhappy abt ... there is surely something but only u can figure it out.

i agree

Depression comes with a reason and what was your reason? Try to think back in time and see what was the main cause of it. I could say I'm one of the depressed one too, the thought of killing myself or disappear from everyone has been coming out more often than not. But seeing you having the "will" to become what you used to be few months ago I would rule out the possibility of depression.

In my point of view it seems like you just felt "left out" by your friends though. Try to catch up with them, watch some new movie or drama that everyone watch so you get what are they talking about. Talk it out with your parents, their experience some times will help you to pin-point the reason of your depression and give you good advises. Make sure they know you are serious or you might get some joke answer.

Nothing wrong to be an attention seeker, no attention how to be a star? no attention how to be a leader? If you can be in the center of attention, why be the small rock on the side of the road that no one notice?

Try to avoid taking medication, those medicine actually slows down your brain to stop you from over-thinking... the side effect is not something good to be with...

try go to those orphanage and hospitals with dying ppl who struggle to keep living.



This post has been edited by twins9: Jul 2 2014, 09:50 PM

involve in sports. if u dont like university sport you can find outside sport. sport can give u sense of achievement. at least u will find a purpose there.

Some one bring TS fag fag and gain back life

This post has been edited by commanderz: Jul 3 2014, 01:29 PM

Find a hobby and what u passion about to give u a thing to fight for ! Good luck ~

Same here yo.

Then one day I suddenly felt like: "eh? If I'm planning to die, might as well YOLO and start doing something I truly enjoy."

And live happily ever after~

Agree with you bro. There is a stigma about seeking help when it comes down to it. I remember one time my friend wanted to see a psychiatrist coz he is having very serious panic attacks for no reason. He walks to a shop relax then come home seriously panicking. Like he was gonna die or have his heart exploded.

So he wanted to see the psychiatrist lah but then suddenly the plan got cancelled coz he said when his parents found out, they told him to calm down saying he is just being ridiculous. This guy has educated parents mind you. So you can imagine how shocking. They say he cannot just simply go to see a shrink without thinking how it would affect their reputation. Very sad that even high education also cannot cure a stigma.

For the guy who posted this thread, please don't be afraid to seek professional help. You said that you already spoke about your thoughts with your friends, gf etc. Though they meann well, they are not informed.

And plus, there could be a medical reason that can only be treated by medication/therapy. Usually at this age, early 20s we get this peaks of emotions and lows of the lowest because we feel like a leaf drifting by. You are not spoiled. You are just having intense emotions that are a trademark of early adulthood for many people.

But I also worry you may not be telling everything that is making you feel like this. You don't need to tell it to us here, but know that we are rooting for you!

May the force be with you!

Dear TS,

I used to have same kind of thinking when I'm at your age or younger..
Kind of lost of life purpose, directions and seeking for purpose continuously.

One day I decided to spare all my saving and to see the world to understand what is life mean in every different geography locations. I went to New Zealand, Macau, Hong Kong, China, Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia. I have explored what I have not explore in Malaysia.

The world is huge out there, why do you sit in a room and think of nonsense?

I suggest you to go for backpack and explore the world. If you need any advice, please don't be hesitate to drop me a PM. I'm more than happy to advice you.

This post has been edited by BlaBlaBoy: Jul 4 2014, 03:45 PM