yes, young kid here can go kacau kacau u all...hahah

*evil grin*

mama mia!

Yay~~ Then lets set the date to 18th March (Sunday) dinner time. Ok for all?

first time leaving was bad, but we managed to get through it, then i try to go back as often as possible, 3 times a year once XD and guess what, this relationship started online, and its been one year and 9 months. We did not meet each other before and only got to meet after 6 months of starting the relationship, thinking back it was silly for me and her to wait for each other. Both silly enough i guess

His blog => http://joshua_0718.blogs.friendster.com/joshuas_bloggy/

I have already read your blog joshua. Well, from what I have read, I dont really understand what have you done in the past which has made her feel so insecure. Mind to share?

Translation of joshua's blog:

Title: Confused

Really confused and dont know what to do, I cant sleep at all, even force myself also fail to do so, keep on thinking

I know that I have done a big mistake before, but I have already admitted of my wrong and you said you will forgive me, but do you think you really do so? Until now, when I say I maybe will go to genting, maybe only, but you straightly say I have done it again, I ask what do you mean but you dont want to say it out, straightly say bye and ended the call and switched off your handphone. Do you know what am I thinking?
I really dont understand you, dont understand at all, you are actually never ever forgive me, this is your first time treating me like that, dont talk with me and even hang up on my call, I really dont know what else could i say...

Called you up already, this time I asked properly and you still said that I want to do the same thing like last time again, do I really do so? I dont have, I never have, you dont trust me at all, do you know how hurt I am after heard so? Do you know how painful is my heart? How come you can say so and dont trust in me...

I'm sorry, this time I really very angry, very angry on you, I cant control myself anymore, I also dont know what am I doing, i just want to cool down myself, sorry

-End of translation-

I have tried to translate the best that I can..hope the meaning really the same ya Joshua..

Wow, I missed to many lines. 

Proved that my chinese is real bad. 

I always scare of 3rd party. Beginning of my relationship, 3rd parties involves between I  and her. I hang out with a girl very often and she mix with a old schoolmate very often. Results? She got a feeling(don't know fall in love a not) toward him. And me? Still very love her and did not love anyone else.

So, for sure, we need to solve this problem, it is a struggling for me and her. But still, I accept the fact that she has just did a mistake and hope she doesn't did it again. And I promise her not to simply mix with opposite sex as don't want to cause any intention to cause her jealous anymore, so I always keep a distance with opposite sex.

After settling everything, things going smooth as usual. Just some problems as usual like don't understand each another, quarrel here and there, etc. But now, super strong.   

I know... But still life must carry on.. as You did it successfully 

My case... Sigh... Very very long story.... Kinda of lazy to tell....
Ok.. Let's start....

Last 2 year ago, very soon after I and my gf being together, I 'adopted' a god-sister, let's call her A, since she didn't have a brother before. Then.... problem start...

During new year 2005, I and my gf were sleeping in a room, and my god-sis sleeping another room... At 3am, A sms me saying she had a nightmare and can't sleep. So, I went over to her room and look for her. She still can't sleep, so I ask her to sleep with us(I and my gf). So, I and my gf sleep on the bed, and she sleep on the mattress on the floor. But still, she can't sleep, so I invited her to sleep together on the bed. My gal sleep the most side, A sleep in the middle, and I sleep another side. Once woke up, my gal told me that I am hugging A but not her. OMG....!!! 

Ok.... My gf went back to Singopore. She didn't tell me that she hate A a lot. I only get to know from my friend. But then, while I still don't know, I and A getting closer. But, I can swear I never have feeling for A before. We are in the same class for 2 years. Eat lunch/dinner together, do homework together, study together.... Almost everything together.

I and my gf then start quarrellings as 'spy' around me report to my gf. Told her that I did nothing wrong as I just treat A as god-sis. My gf didn't believe me but believe those 'spy' whom are my close friend also. 

On last year december, I start to realize that I couldn't carry on becoming A's god brother. So, I told my gf everything going to end very soon. I try to hints A but she just act don't know. BUT, she even come closer to me. Deng...!!! I really have no choice because we are too close. I have rejected her becoming close, rejected every of her invitation but still insist 1 me to accept. So, I do not want to hurt A badly, sometime I accept her invitation. So, we still being close but not as close as before, because I keep a distance with her already. BUT, still I not dare to tell my gf that I and A still got keep contact each another. So, I just wish to waited until this year May (graduated) so I can have my freedom back and everything will be back as normal.

After May, everything going smooth, she couldn't come closer at with anymore. BUT, but... On July, God still doesn't want to let me go... My gf checked open my history and found out that I has been contacting A.    Then havoc happened. Then since that, I ask for forgiveness but she doesn't really forgive me. She doesn't happy that I has been hiding from her for last year December till this year July.

So, now she keep on asking me about my past with I and A. But everytime we talked about it, for sure both of us get upsad because I hurted her badly. So, I choose to avoid the question. But scorpio always insist want for an answer, I knew I cannot run, so I tell her everything. But still, she is like cannot let it go, cannot really forget what I have done.

So, I did tell her just now, in future if she still forget about the past and forgive, I have ask her to let go of me and our relationship. I do not wish to see her get real upsad.

Joshua,

The genting trip, you are going with your god-sis huh?

can i follow? or meet u guys?

hehe

Why Joshua's story so confusing wan?

joshua, it's cos she's your ex-gf and you are suppose to be her partner at Genting, as the other 2 is a couple, that your gf is unhappy and might be jealous over it. it's not the matter about her not trusting you. it's the matter about her feeling. you see, anyone would feel not nice when their love is going out to a faraway place (vacation or trip) with the ex(s) without them being there personally. she's not feeling good about it and why is there a need for your to accompany your ex-gf if she's already your ex-gf and is just a friend to you? i mean, we can definitely say "no" to a friend's invite if we couldnt make it or the situation doesnt allow us to do it, right?

she's angry not cos she dont trust you, but because you are being insensitive of her feelings. after all, you are asking for her opinions/permission to go Genting with her, right? so, she's said hers and she's kind of not approving it. it's her right to say yes or no, cos you asked her in the first hand.

you might say that there's another couple there and you guys wouldnt be doing anything as to sleeping on the same bed. but the fact is, even when your gf is there, you let your pet-sis slept on the same bed with you, and this has really happened. so, you cant blame her for feeling bad and insecure when you said you wanna go Genting with your ex-gf this time.

just my 2 cents worth. hope you understand what i'm trying to say and it's of some help.

the point to ponder is that, girls are unpredictable and mysterious. things that she said might not really represents what she's feeling, yeah.

Joshua, I think your gf lacks of security towards you because of what has happened in the past. Well, it all depends on you how to increase her assurance towards you. You can try to look from different point of view whereby she is actually very scare that the similar thing will happen again like last time, she is very scare of the hurt that she might get. Well, cant really blame her to straightly assume that the similar past will be happened again cause the little devil is playing in her heart. Joshua, it all depends on you now. Why dont try to take a step back and think of ways to make her trust more in you?

Well, what do I mean by step back is whereby you tried to contact her first cause if no one tries to negotiate with the other party, then the problem cannot be solved. Communication is important in this stage. I never doubt about your efforts but maybe you just need to do a bit more. Since she will still scare that the similar past will happen again, that's mean she is very concern and care about the relationship. So work it out together, treat this as a training for both of you to make your relationship stronger. Good luck ya!

hey, yes, the way she's handling it is wrong, but quit blaming each others. you see, if you have been considerate enough to think that she might feel bad and insecure about it, cos she's your ex-god sis, then, you wouldnt be thinking of going also, right? you see, the blaming never ends. then you blame her for slamming the phone and being angry over nothing and not giving you the chance and bla bla bla, so the blaming goes on.

you see, take a step back, admit your mistake, and talk to her nicely, discuss it through. you never know what you might get. for all you know, she might also apologize to you for slamming the phone and not caring about your feeling too.

all the best, yeah

Suiteng~ I don't think I can go la.. Because I got dinner and it's like so far away from me leh.. Next time I go hor most probably next year ya

ahh that one can also... think we can reserve tables as well... waht's it called again?

Hey guys.. As you know.. LDR is a difficult thing.. And because I'm her bf.. I know she has problems with her family.. But then as you all know that long distance can't do anything much.. I really want to help her.. But I just can't... Instead I can only sit down there and listen to her if she wants to tell me.. And I feel like useless you know.. As I could only just sit down there and listen her talk and couldn't give advice to her.. It's like.. I really want to help her out.. I want her to be happy.. I just can't bear to see her always sad because of her family.. Sometimes I just really don't know what to do..

It seems like I can only helplessly sit down.. Doing nothing.. I want to help her.. but I just don't know how.. Whenever I know that she's sad.. My heart aches and worried of her.. Calling her might help a bit.. but then she can't receive my call too often because when I call her then her bills will charged.. And when the bill comes.. she will get scolded by parents.. Well.. I just bought her a microphone.. I don't whether I'm helping her or giving her more problems because her parents will little bit things then scold her.. So like.. even we could talk.. she can't talk with her heart.. She cannot let her mother know..

Hope you guys understand what I'm saying.. Feel free to give some advice for me and to those whose having the same problem as mine.. But if there's no advice then I won't blame it either.. I'm just saying it out.. So if possible just drop an advice..

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for those who is going to drop an advice