This is why, I will never allow myself to stay with my parents after i got married.

Though my parents, especially my mother say we must stay together. I just say no way and find your own path.

If you must live with your parents or in-laws after marriage, it must be in your own House which is bought with your own $$$.  As long as u live under the parents roof, you will always be treated as a 'little boy / girl'.

I have been reading your tread since the start, thought someone else bumped your tread but apparently not.  Your future MIL needs professional help actually but getting her to admit and acknowledge will be challenging.

my opinion is for you not to directly confront your MIL.

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2013...urting-her.aspx

the last thing is for something above to happen. Unstable people can do unspeakable things.  Good luck and take care.

Unless you're a child, there's no reason not to be able to look at your tormentor in the eye in hate and anger.

Or unless you're a yellow lily livered coward.

Bipolar disorder mother-in-law detected. Learn how to handle it.

I don't think she's a bipolar. Usually bipolars will have extreme mood swings, hypomania or severe splitting (i.e. if you're not with us, then you're against us), depending on what type she has. But you never know, she could be.

If you want to test her disorder, try doing exactly that, move out of the house. If she's borderline disordered she'll very quickly apologize and beg your bf not to move out. Or she will keep doing things that will give her a reason to be upset (so she can see that your bf will respond to her outbursts).

Don't bother bringing her to see a psychologist. It doesn't matter western or chinese culture, Cluster B's don't see anything wrong with themselves, so seeing a psychologist won't help, even if they do it willingly. The ONLY thing that you can control is how YOU behave, and that means understanding completely what your future mother-in-law is, whether she is an attention seeker, what she is capable of, what are her weaknesses, etc.

Meaning, you have to STOP thinking "she's so unreasonable, she's so volatile, she's crazy". START thinking "she wants something from me, and I don't want to give it to her. How do make her change that behavior?" Be cool, calm and collected. For example, whenever she bursts into one of her attention seeking episodes, you look at her straight in the eye and ask her calmly "Does making us unhappy make you happy?", and then see how she reacts. Run test after test after test to see what type of disorder she has, take notes if you have to. Pretty soon, you'll know how to handle her.

And oh... hide ALL your money and ATM cards and passwords and your homemade porn with your bf and whatever form of security you have from her.

I'm not a doctor, but perhaps your bf's mom is suffering from Fear of Abandonment? The divorce she has gone through may have impacted her in some ways. 

as unreasonable it is, if she is your mother, there is nothing you can do. Either you can be filial or otherwise.
Some say its a burden but mostly would say, 'mother i have only one.. irreplaceable'..haiz.

what happened ???

why dun u and your boyfren move out ?

Can't remember so apologies, just have to ask u some questions:

1) When are u and your bf getting married?
2) Have you bought your own place
3) Your MIL knows about (1) and (2) above

Has your BF told your MIL in so many words that:

"you are not out to replace her (MIL) in your son life.  She is irreplaceable in her son life but her son needs to add a new chapter in his life and she will continue to play a role but in a different way"

maybe is time u shud show her who can live longer 

trust me, not everybody can act in long series like A Kindred Spirit 

when is say live longer, means live longer as human 

In that case, I advise Neshimaru to watch Game of Thrones, confirm will pwn any of those HK KR dramas.

and you watched it, so u know how to play the games 

don't you get it?
as long as you lived with them and the mother behaves in such way, you can only get the status "GUEST'..thus unable to make any decision and probably will need to endure constant mental stress..
If your financial ready and prepared, do get your bf into discussion with you about moving out..
But do note if he is making his stand as a filial son to his mum, this does not bode well to you either..

My Cluster B ex watched a ton of all these drama crap. She learned all her crazy shit from it, like how to manipulate people, how to say the right things to make you think she's an angel and all that.

What she didn't know is I watched better and more realistic dramas than her, like The Shield. LOL

1) the mom needs professional counseling, with your BF, sit down with her and convince her that she absolutely needs to attends and complete one.


2) don't be alone with her, she is utterly unpredictable and can be aggressive and hurt you

no relation is worth this kind of trouble

and then the idea of 'if you are not the same line with me, you are not one of us' come out from her mouth..
makes me sigh with you too..

waffor wanna cancel astro? Just cancel the Dynasty package can liao

Hey I'm in Subang Jaya too! Yumcha taim!!!

Why not move out and reduce contact with her? Of course change phone number too.
Meet up once a week. If she create more drama, reduce the meet ups to once a fortnight.
If doesn't improve, reduce it to once a month. So on and so forth.

Seems like your bf is not once of those momma's boy, he should be able to do this.

The mother should grow up, and let her adult children grow as well.
It isn't mother's love when it's stunting the children's growth.

I didn't break up with him, we just let go amicably. Because of the unpleasantness caused by his mom for many years, i was under so much pressure and also some other problems. Our feeling died.

His mom is asking you to move out of your own house?

salute to his mother ~~~~ i read your story i also beh tahan   

She's crazy, period.

got one case with mine, but its a grandmother... kepoh one.. always talk2 non stop

Neshimaru, i hv the opposite of this situation. My mother never looked down on my bf's proton saga and has never complained about him, she just said "u choose one, as long as u're happy.  but his mom looked down on my job and everything else.  She said and i quote "why you do this job? why you buy this house? why this like this that like this why why why?"

yup an old hard-talk granny, the thing is she knew i love to cook,, then we share all the fun about cooking till the day she died.  sweet memory but still bug me sometimes. relation to gf become more relate to granny lol

haha...she ask me how much i earn too. then when i dowan to say she keep asking. i just avoid the question, but inside so geram. haha
ya, sometimes i wish to ask her too, why is she being so difficult, but i dun want to create world war 2. she is so fierce, i sure lose the fight 

lol. but i think ur mom is really worried about you. i mean, ur bf is driving a viva...she will wonder if he has the means to give u a good cushy life. no mom wants her daughter to lead a hard life, even though she choose to. i think by assuring her that u all can very well handle ur financial, and it is going on well! might get her to stop poking n asking  hard questions on ur man...

also...does she know u hv a nuts mother in law to be? if she knew...she'll be ultra worried as well