personally, that will raise my radar, but not too much. guess i trust him and our trust is built over years.

maybe you should hang out with her (or them, if he has alot of them) with him around and observe their interaction. if something is really on between them, you'll be able to sense something fishy. innocent flirting is tolerable, at least to me...

I have to agree with you and Deadlocks.

Anyway, I have quite a few female friends whom I would say they are my best friends. I don't see why a guy can't be best friends with a girl unless all he is thinking is finding a way to bang her.

Its all about boundaries. Dun hide anything n dun give a reason to doubt. Show that u love ur gf more then ur so called best friends.

haha it is always about how 2 draw the line n dont step over it

sorry, just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean it's not possible. if you didn't believe the earth is spherical, does that make it untrue?

My best friend is a female. We went to a jazz club alone together (which my gf does not enjoy), watch concert at MPO, movies, dinner etc. and guess what? Best part is my gf doesn't feel jealous at all and we're at perfectly good relationship.

I have zero interest in any romantic relationship with my best friend. It'd be so strange, weird and almost incest-like feeling.

This post has been edited by Underhill: Sep 11 2012, 12:04 AM

It will only lead to where your mind wants it to lead to.

Exactly!

It all comes down to the individual itself...

Everyone has their own agenda...

I think as long as the opposite sex best friend is crystal clear, ie it has been said out loud and agreed by both parties, that the relationship will forever be best friends and nothing more AND if any party start to develop even the slightest feelings then they should stop being best friends then I think its ok.

For me personally, i live by the "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" thus if my wife has a male best friend I know I would feel uncomfortable so I don't do it to her.

that depends entirely on the pair. I have a male best friend and I do not discuss such things with anybody, let alone him.

You have a great point there.

I agree with you B@rt, but at the same time, if there is trust, why should anybody even feel uncomfortable about it?

Because we're raised to not trust. Parents tell us don't take sweets from strangers. They tell us don't believe what the Gomen and the mainstream media tells us. Society tells us don't have pre-marital sex because all the guy wants is sex. Newspaper reports of people getting conned by Nigerian men into sending them money with the promise of love or return in investment. Thus even though the the gf/bf/best friend wants to trust but it is hard wired into them not to trust. And thus the reason why you should always be as straightforward and direct as possible when you're asking someone to trust you.

Actually I believe everybody in the world could do with a bit more trusting in one another. Heck I broke up with my college gf because she didn't trust in me or her parents enough to introduce me to them. Being hidden (ie not being trusted) made me doubt myself and the relationship (am i not good enough for her?). Till this day she still has trust issues which is still manifesting itself in her current relationship (I still keep in touch every now and then (my wife knows about us keeping in touch ok! )).

If you think you can't trust the person you're dating/married to and are comparing that sort of trust to the kind your parents told you not to have with strangers ... Houston, I think we have a problem.

How many types of "trust" are there? Trust is like a self defense mechanisme. it's ingrain. Only the level of trust differs from one to the other based on parents' teachings, life experiences and societal expectations.

*sigh* I know where you're coming from ... but if you can't even trust your partner, then there really is no hope. Don't be naive, but don't be so cynical and paranoid.

hmm..i think it depends on how the bf behaves la..if he always come clean, tell everything, then there won't anything for the girl to suspect

My bf has close girl friends. I too, have close guy friends too, and I just went for drinks with a guy friend ytd. I won't mind my bf to join, but he just can't make it.

So, as long as you don't make a person feel like you're hiding something, then I think that shall be fine.

This is a decent point bring brought up. Kindly allow some flow of thoughts to build a holistic picture. After reading the entire thread I found that no one has brought this up: The language of love. What is it?

Here is the link for those who wish to read more,
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-la...love-languages/

but also here is the TLDR version:

Time is a language of love. Don't believe me? Read this quote:
"Where a person spends his/her time and money, is where his/her heart is"
Read it again.

Like it or not, things change when your friend couples up or gets married. No longer can you spend ludicrous amounts of time together. Why? Because now they are partly responsible to another person too!

Example: The way Jack behaves should reflect his responsibility toward Jill.
Should Jack still fool around with other girls?
Should Jack make decisions without considering Jill?
(Now here is the major kicker)
Should Jack often find himself alone with another girl, even if it is just talking for long hours. c.f. refer to Language of Love in paragraph 2 and 3.

Most of you say trust and will most likely dismiss the fact that being together with your best buddy - nothing will happen one. Yeah for you perhaps, but is it so alien to hear this phrase " ... feelings started to develop for so and so.." (or am I now talking out of my ass? You've heard it, you've seen it, maybe even experienced it and it ties back to what I've said earlier.

Therefore in essence, each person should know his or her own limits. Some couples trust is higher and therefore mucking around with good friends of the opposite gender is fine. Maybe they are crystal clear with their boundaries.
Others may prefer to err on the side of caution rather than perhaps? blunder and say that infamous line "... feelings developed"

be fren with his gal's fren

Yea ... there is no way a guy can be a girl's best friend unless he conscious/subconsciously wanna f*** her. No matter what he claims, he have feelings for which is not good.


DEFINITELY GOT CRUSH ON THE GIRL ... and U R JUST passing by gf .