(... continued from previous part)

S: hmm.. what are we now?
Me: what do u mean?

she hesitate for a while then spoke it unconfidently and softly..

S: our relationship..
Me: har? (with the tone that I not quite catch what she spoke and expecting her repeat the question. this is my habit that when I need time to think abt an answer, I will pretend didn’t catch it and answer back “har?” that expect someone to repeat the question)
S: hmm.. nothing..
Me: do u have time? was thinking to chat a little v u. I'm eager to know abt what happening to u and daniel.
S: hmm..

she hesitate for a while then she nodded. We sat on the sofa side by side, and she start to share abt her past with daniel. daniel was his first and last bf. they start dating when she was still a fresh graduate. a pair of lovey dovey couple at the beginning. however sandy got bad temper and her attitude had irritating and offended a lot of daniel’s friend. daniel still tolerating despite of that however, thing change over a tiny argument and sandy leave daniel alone when they were travel abroad. sandy flew back without inform daniel. daniel so worry that time searching for her madly and when he realize that she was flew back, he was so furious and called off the relationship of 7 years and marriage that had been planned together with both families. when sandy come to realization that she was over reacted, it was too late as what done is done. Sandy cried everyday since then. sandy’s mum then send her to chinese temple, the master gave her a prayer bead and advice her read those scriptures kind of thing daily. sandy change gradually since then, and they continue to be friend. However their relationship was irreversible as Daniel finally get steady v a girl and they got married within a year.

when talk abt Daniel got married part, she cry again. but it was not as emotional as previously when she share abt it at the carpark. I rub her back but it doesn’t help. then I pull her into my arm. she responded by had her arm over my upper body. after she calm down back..

S: so that’s me. How do u feel?
Me: I was quite surprise abt ur past. But now u’re a changed woman now. I like.
S: really?

She turn her head up and look at me,

S: what do u think abt our relationship?
Me: err, I not sure, I dunno. I’ve been thinking abt this also. I will always looking forward to spend our precious time together. 1 thing for sure is that I really like u more than just a friend. always have, always will.. and..

b4 I finish my word, she move forward and kiss my lips, I responded and we shared a passionate kiss.. after we have enough, I say,

Me: u sure u want to do this? give our relationship a shot?
S: I..

She seems in the difficult position to answer this so I immediately respond to her,

Me: hey, u don’t have to respond it right now. we can talk abt that next time..

she smiled.

Me: guess I should leave now.
S: u know, it was such a great relief after talking to u..
Me: yeah.

After leave her apartment, I drove off her car heading back home.

1 of the night last week, we manage to have our dinner together. as usual I would fetch her at her apartment. That night, she were wearing white skirt that a little wide and slightly above knee. together v her light blue sleeveless blouse and her hair in pony tail, she look young and beautiful.. as mentioned b4, sandy was a woman with fashion sense, her dressing apparently showing that she did spend a lot of effort to make herself look better.. just like a lot of pipu like to say, there’re no fugly woman but lazy woman. though sandy wasn’t super pretty like those hot model or natural beauty type of woman, but she dress up herself decently and whenever I saw her, I felt like wanna draw closer to her..
After she enter passenger seat and b4 she settled down, I say,

Me: hey, u looked gorgeous..

after I end my compliment, I peck her cheek right away. She blushed apparently and speechless..

Me: so where u wanna have our dinner today?
S: hmm.. I no idea le, what do u think?

I used to be troublesome when lunching v a bunch of colleagues in deciding where to eat. but b4 drive to her place, I roughly figure out what we could have as our dinner as I don’t wanna let her feel that i’m not decisive enough.. I ask her,

Me: hmm.. do u have any preference? I feel like eating western food, what do u think?
S: western food sound good. oh my god! suddenly feel like eating jacket potato.. let’s go now!!

I laughed.. she was funny sometimes..

Me: alright, so we shall heading to victoria station that just a minute or 2 drive from here..
as we travel toward ttdi, we chat and I tend to lean closer to her whenever I listening to her as she spoke quite soft sometimes. as I listening to her, I lean closer v my right arm remain on the steering. her scent smell great, I really like it.. when we reach thr and got our car parked, we went in victoria station. we got ourselves for a 2 seat table and we sat face to face. we look at each other and remain eye contact as we talk. ohmai, i feel like we are a pair of couple now, but in fact we weren’t yet as there were doubts remain unclear between us. 1 of that is she haven’t consent abt my so called indirect propose on the night b4 which I mentioned at previous update, another 1 is her relationship v caleb. the feeling is just like it was so close, yet so far

throughout the dinner, no liquor had ordered.. time fly in a glance, without we even notice, it was close to 11pm already. We spoke non-stop for 2 hours plus!! After pay the bill, instead of heading back to her apartment, I suggest that we go for a drink as I wish to spend more time v her. think it’s been quite a while that we didn’t really sit down and talk. we drive to jln telawi and we walk into a bar that apparently got quite good ambience v soft music were played. This bar was quiet as only 1 table occupied by customers. we sat on the stool in front of the bar counter. I have myself my favy draft stout and she just get herself a pint of white beer. In our conversation, I always try to avoid anything related to caleb and also something relevant to the affirmation of our relationship. Why? I just feel like letting our relationship remain wandering in this grey zone would be better. I think deep in my heart I a little afraid of losing this relationship if everything need to be so certain. However it couldn’t be avoided anymore. After 2 pints or 3, she finally ask,

S: what do u think abt caleb and i?
Me: u and caleb ar, employer and employee? (trying to make fun and hoping she would switch to other topic)

But sandy apparently was serious this time,

S: I mean the affair between caleb and i..

Seems like sandy want to come clean b4 me now. seriously I really don’t want to know all those things as I believe it that might ruin the current intimate relationship we have. but this time apparently I can’t avoid.

Me: there’re rumours out there, but who cares, I don’t give a single damn on those rumours.
S: those rumours are..

(to be continued)

(...resume from previous update)

S: those rumours are true..

Then she proceeded to tell me abt their affair. after sandy broke up v her bf few years back, caleb start to pursue her even though he was a married man. despite of rejecting caleb numerous times, caleb never gave up. however when sandy learned that daniel was abt to get married, she was so emotional that time and caleb was the 1 who comfort her. she finally accepted caleb’s pursuance and their affair started since then..

S: so I’m a bad girl huh?
Me: no, u’re great. u had…

Before I finished my word, she interrupted..

S: nonono, u’re just trying to be nice. I’m not. I made a lot of mistakes..

she started to weep as she was saying this. she was like that, easily get emotional when a little high I comfort her by telling her,

Me: u know what, now u still can get things right if u want.

It just doesn’t calm her down after what I had say.. I was totally clueless now however things getting better after I pay more attention to her and nodding to whatever she say. apparently advices was useless to an emotional woman. It was proven that woman doesn’t need advice when they were pouring out their emotion, they just need a listening ear, agree?

After she calm down,

Me: getting late now, we should heading home now..

sandy nodded. as we travel back, it was silence along the journey. yeah, this was the thing I expected to be happen when she come clean abt caleb and her.. breaking ice wasn’t easy this time!! I walk her until her doorstep, then without hesitating, I initiate a tight hug to her then say bye and walk away..

as I’m driving back, I was wondering what can I do to cheer her up. I decided to call a friend of mine who know abt some florists in kl. eventually I got it early in the morning next day. I manage to have her roses on her table v a small notes of encouraging word early in the morning b4 everyone come to work. After that I leave the office as I’m running my usual errand outside.

On afternoon, I receive a text from her,

S: hi there, ur roses brighten up my day. and I would like to apologize for what had happen last9. I was so upset yesterday and made the situation worst. do u think we can talk now?

without hesitation, i put up my paired handsfree and call her back right away.

Me: hi there..
S: hey, so sorry abt what had happen. I was a little too over last9.
Me: it was alright. How are u feeling now? better?
S: never better. my day was colourful with ur roses.. (then continue chat like we used to be)

after her apology, our situation become much better and we resume our talk like how we use to be. then she suggest for a day trip to outstation to get herself relieved on coming weekend which I agreed.

so on Saturday morning I went to her apartment and pick her up. she wore mini or short jeans and singlet type of top with a scarf. while travel on the car,

Me: why wear so less? we're going cameron highlands mang, it would be freezing up there..
S: really? I love cold weather..

it was her first time go to ch. on our way to ch, she share to me her life at Melbourne when she were studying there.. and her part time job whereby she use her free time to earn some extra money for better expenditure for Australia living. usually it would be boring for me whenever I travel for a great distance in car even i got friends or family accompany along. but this time was different, I feel great. times fly, in just few glances reach ringlet liao. that time I was starving.

Me: hey I'm famished, let's have some bite at the town here.
S: ur call (she said it v smile)

I find a Chinese restaurant and we ate over there. we have some light food. after the meal we continue our journey to one of the tea farm over there.. once we reach there, we walk toward the top of the tea farm. the view from top was splendid! it was windy and cold it feel gooding mang.. we sit over the grass and enjoying the view. suddenly she ask,

S: what is our relationship now?
Me: hmm.. (I not sure now after all we've been through throughout this few weeks) close friend perhaps..
S: u know how I feel toward u right?

I hesitate for a while then I nodded.. after sandy saw my response, she...

(continue tonight.. sorry for the short update on this part, yesterday I was feeling unwell and fall sick eventually, today still need to report to work due to some important errand )

(continued from previous update..)

she look into my eye and say,

S: u were lovely, and thoughtful. I feel comfortable and secured along v u.

it was a long silence after sandy end her speech. as we enjoy the view, in my mind i was wondering what to tell her abt our relationship. don't know since when I started fall for her, however I do have some concern in my mind as I think that there would be difficult for sandy to leave caleb so freely (my judgement only) as it would definitely jeopardize her career. on my side, i just don't feel that it wouldn't be good if she have to let go her cozy and secured lifestyle because of this relationship. so at this moment I only can temporarily concluded that this relationship is at its best maintaining in this "unknown grey zone". well, I don't know, I could be wrong..

I open my mouth and break the silence eventually,

Me: u know, I not so sure what to tell now. certainly I cherish all the single moment v u. let's not stop seeing one another until something happen.. something unforseen perhaps..
S: so that's mean.. (then she was expecting me to say something while having her sight on the tea farm beneath us from hilltop)
Me: hmm.. I err..

I look at her for few second, do not know how to react. not wanting sandy to affirm the status of our relationship, I kiss her lip out of sudden when she was having her sight at the view of tea farm..

the kiss was sweet. this was the first time I initiate kiss to sandy. she was blushed after the kiss

then we walk down to have our tea time over the tea house at there. she sneezed as we walk down, it was windy and plus she wear very less.. so i pull her closely to me and holding her shoulder as we walk down, she responded by holding my waist, it was sweet.. how i wish the walking down to the tea house is endless..

after the tea time it was evening close to 5pm. we drive up to brinchang have our dinner, then i brought her for night market walk and purchase something from there since we were there. never plan to overnight so we leave for home after night market visit. she was so exhausted, and this was not odd as it was her first time visit here and walk for whole day along the journey home, she sleep all the way until her apartment. it was abt 11pm plus when i reach her apartment carpark, she was apparently still sleeping tight. i look at her closely, ohmai she was so beautiful.. instead of awaking her, i move closely to her and kiss on her cheek. she slowly awake after that and smile happily..

S: are we home?

Me: yeah, we were home..

S: great.. i was so tiring.

i walk her to her apartment doorstep. at her doorstep,

S: hey, thanks for the trip today. i feel so happy today.

we share a hug b4 she went in her apartment. i heading back home after that..

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