God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said ..GOD .. "what's a river ??

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the Hill......"
Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On The other side of the hill you will find a cave.."
Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?' So God explained that to him, too.

Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under His breath), "Geez....." and then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, His patience wearing thin, said Angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said....
*
*

*
*
*
"What's a Headache?"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My resolutions are:

1) Stop writing lists.
B) Be more consistent.

Rule number one after purchasing a parrot.

Teach it to say: "Help they have turned me into a parrot!"

I hate people that dislike football but go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin it for everybody else!

.
Fucking referees.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

That is funneee ...

I was in a Chinese restaurant last night when a duck came up to me, gave me a rose and said, "Your eyes sparkle like Diamonds"


I immediately called the waiter over and said "What's this? I ordered AROMATIC duck"

~when I was just a little girl~~
~I asked my mother what will I be~
~ will I be pretty? will I be rich?~
~Here's what she said to me.~

"SON WE NEED TO TALK."

"but sir, the menu clearly wrote 'A Romantic Duck'"

This post has been edited by hizperion: Jan 18 2018, 11:38 PM

It's funny how my missus sits up all night, waiting for me to come back from the pub..

Just to ask me what time it is.

"Aw c'mon, I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken."

In hindsight, that probably wasn't the most romantic way to suggest anal with the new girlfriend.

Ah Beng phones for an ambulance as Ryan been hit by a car.
Operator asks where he is.
He says outside Jalan Tun Datuk Patinggi Abang Haji Muhammad Salahuddin. Operator asks, "How do u spell that?"

The line goes quiet for 5 minutes. Operator gets a bit worried.

Then Ah Beng says, "Sorry about that, I've just dragged him round to Jalan Astana"

hahahahahaha

https://www.google.com/maps/dir/1.5734481,1...#33;4m1!3e2

This post has been edited by hizperion: Jan 24 2018, 10:26 AM

f you haven't got anything interesting to say...

Join Facebook and tell everyone on there.

"Dad, are those chrysanthemums?"
"Yes," "And how do you spell that?"

"Oh, wait a minute. They're roses."

Wew so this is the correct way to post jokes instead of keep opening new thread? Hmm can i post my jokes here? Lol

sure


-----------------------------------------------------



I am sick and tired of switching my PC on when I get to work and being bombarded with emails about penis enlargement and how taking Viagra will make me perform longer.


I wish I had never given my work email address to my wife.

The founder of Ikea has died aged 91.

<Flat pack coffins.
Allen Key.
Leftover parts./>

*This joke requires some assembly.

*Accessories like cup holder, lamps and mirror are addons.

Damnit, missed out the 2500th post again

Again. Sometimes I choose not to reply in this thread not because I am rude, but I just figure I let others or you to figure it out rather than me spoiling the joke. I do hope you guys enjoy this thread.

Thank you for reading this thread.


New house and posts are welcomed

V3
https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=4519944