My wife and I are in knots over the impending arrival of our little bundle of joy when it comes to babysitting. We are both working professionals, and we have yet to decide the option we will take up once both of us go back to work and leaving the baby. For the cost of paying for daycare and a babysitter, we could get a maid and train her to take care of the baby while we are gone. And the maid helps out with the housework, lesening the burden on me and my wife. Of course, the risk factor we are not sure of is what sort of maid will turn up at our doorstep. And we've heard all sorts of horror stories that go on once the maid is left alone with the baby.

We could opt to leave the baby with a babysitter and take the baby home at night, but taking care of the baby at night will probably take it's toll on us. The priciest option would to pay for a week's worth of babysitting, and only take the baby home on Fridays after work but I don't think my wife likes the idea of being seperated from our first child for so long.

Would appreciate all your views and experience on the matter, it'll help me make a better decision thanks.

the idea of a week babysitting is unacceptable... especially this is ur 1st child

A week's babysitting would be the worst choice, in my opinion. Parenting bondage doesnt exist at all. Wouldnt the child cry on weekends since it's "mother" is missing. Think of the agony all round when you change baby sitter or end of employment? Risks? Would be higher if you have a live-in maid. Since career's is of upmost impotance, what choice is there?

send back hometown?

A colleague of mine went through this last year, and eventually they went with a week's babysitting. They tried taking the baby home initially, but lack of sleep meant both their work suffered. I'm not too keen on this option, so I'm scouting around for what other options I have.

Sending back hometown would be my absolute last choice as both my wife and I are from out of KL. Even if either of our parents are willing to take care of the baby, this would mean we can only see the baby once in two weeks the most. How did you guys and girls solve this? What were your arrangements?

if ur not ready to sacrifice ur sleep it is better that u don't have a child

Very though words but I agree.

Baby will definately interrupt sleep. It is unavoidable. Counting on maid would be worse. If parents find it hard to make such sacrifice do you think and outsider would? You have a baby your social life is gone. Enjoy this new chapter in your shared lives.

So true..


This post has been edited by leileichungy: Jan 29 2013, 02:11 PM

You only have one child (as of now). Cost-wise, I say look for a reliable babysitter. Talk to your neighbours, ask around, and find out a reliable babysitter. For me, that's the best option. However, much as we've heard the horror stories surrounding maids, there are also horror stories regarding irresponsible sitters, so be wary.

About the sleep situation. YOU WILL MANAGE. Trust me, you will. Yes, you may be sleep-deprived at times, you may have to wake up odd hours to make milk, change diapers, dealing with colic, but you will survive that. Try working out a schedule with whatever baby care options you've decided on. Schedule baby's sleep. Of course, the baby may have ideas of his or her own, but persevere and keep at it. Stick to a certain routine of nap, milk, nappy change time. If possible, start from during your wife's confinement period when she can try to get the ball rolling on the sleeping schedule.

Take it easy. Don't worry too much, or you'll miss out on the best experience in your life. You guys will manage. Best wishes.

Thank you for your much appreciated comments.

We plan on starting the adjusting the baby's sleeping schedule as soon as possible. Sleep loss is unavoidable in parenting, we both realize this. We are leaning towards a daily babysitter now, I foresee we'll miss the baby too much to go a day without.

i disagree. our social life is still not over even when we have a kids. we just have to adjust & adapt to it. it may be challenging but it is not impossible

This post has been edited by mancy: Oct 13 2010, 11:46 AM

Mancy,
I salute you.

By the way are you referring to the baby when you use the word kid?

Bro, hang in there. You and your spouse should be working out the routines and 'whose turn' schedule, that way the workload and love is shared. You should also sent you child to stay with the grand parents for just a couple of weeks (err...not months) to give both of you a break, ....twice a year?

Yup, granparents want to share the joy too.

You are lucky if either of your parents are willing to take care of the kids. This should be the first choice because you can trust your baby with them. It is very hard to only be able to visit your baby once a week but I know people who does that and they still get by. Because they can concentrate on their work knowing that someone they trust is taking care of the child.

Try to arrange to see if possible for the parent to come down to your house instead. Then send them back to hometown during the weekends.

Second choice would be daycare centers. I do not think there are any centers that allow you to leave your baby there for 1 week. I wouldn't do that even if they allow unless it is someone I know and trust taking care of the baby.

Hiring a maid is not even a choice you should consider. They are hard to train...takes at least 6 month for the smart ones and more than 1 year for the dumb ones. Even then you cannot trust your maid with your baby together for whole day? That is absurd.

Nobody says taking care of baby is easy. You need to sacrifice a lot and change your lifestyle around the baby.

I am not a parent yet, but I have experience taking care of my baby niece since she was born.

Her parents are active working professionals who tend to entertain their clients at night as well.

My mom is a house wife, so she opted to take care of my niece while my cousins are busy working . (Niece = cousins's child, not brothers )

I tink it worked out alright, both parents made it a point to finish work as early as possible to take care of their bundle of joy.

It took a toll on them during the nights because the naughty girl will cry cry cry . In the end they survived. And when they looked back on it, they were glad they presevered through the crying.

Its part of being a parent.

Anyways, my point here is, find someone you can trust to take care of your baby, and if you are afraid of the maid doing something funny when you are not around. Get a dog.

A dog can be very protective over a baby, when my niece was born, she came into a household where there were 3 huskies, 2 adults and 1 puppy.

The puppy was a play mate, her best friend. And he would watch over her every night and day. When she was hungry and started crying, i have seen with my own eyes at night, the puppy dashing out of the room and barking at me who was watching a movie

When a stranger goes near my niece, the husky goes into defence mode. I dont know, from what I have experienced both with the birth of my niece who is now 6 and my baby nephew who is under-going the same treatment, my cousin just bought another husky to be his little boy's playmate. . They click very well, and the husky does not go overboard with the playing, he knows he is bigger than the baby.

He normally just lies down and lets the baby crawl all over him.

This post has been edited by omnimech: Oct 13 2010, 07:16 PM

i mean in general, not specifically for a baby only.

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Added on October 13, 2010, 10:55 pmfor me, twice a year is ok but don't overdo it becoz both of ur parents is not ur maid

This post has been edited by mancy: Oct 13 2010, 10:55 PM

well, do u have relatives or closed fren who live near by u ??

since you both opt to work then u must send the baby for someone to take care. that is the sacrifice. or 1 of u quit the job for babysit.

or find a relative or some one u trusted .. like middle aged one, whereas their own kids have grown up but still havent got their own grandchildren.
they have experience brought up their own child ...since they are ur kin, they wont be doing nonsense stuffs

at the casual days, u can visit ur baby after working hours before u go back home to sleep ...weekend can take back the baby.

haha..

I find it so strange that people still counting dollars and cents for baby sitting especially working professionals some more. Where's da human value?

I totally agree with mancy, if cannot handle, why bother to make baby?

Wife and I do not earn that much but we're paying high price for baby sitting just to ensure my baby gets the best day care. The price is like paying for another property's monthly repayment.

Both also working and both also take turns to wake up at night and we never complain about it. That's when we know that we really love & treasure our own baby - it's priceless. If you love your baby very much, it would be sacrifice/wondrous...If you dont, you'll take it as a problem...

If there's a will, there's a way my friend.

Think about it, yo... dun let your "money/career's value be greater than family". Money and career, you can always find...

Just my 2cents. (I know you're gonna hate me, but it's my personal opinion - just being open and honest)

This post has been edited by RayKazansky: Oct 14 2010, 02:28 AM

no offense, actually i feel both of u haven't prepare be parents yet. both of you are working professional, 2 of u should plan before having a baby. however, all of these doesn't important anymore. from my own experience is that let the baby stay wit babysitter while u working. after u finish work, then come back and take the baby back home. IF you have any OT or others important job need to get it done by that night, then let the baby stay with the babysitter for a night. dun leave ur baby away from ur side too long, it will bring bad consequences in future.