I believe that a guy can only be friends with a girl if either one of the 3 criteria are met:

1) He is not sexually attracted to her
2) He is gay (kinda negates the 1st point, doesn't it?)
3) He's already attached

If a guy is friends with a girl but secretly harbors a desire to escalate the friendship to the next level, then he isn't really her friend to begin with. He wants something from her, but she won't be able to give it. So it becomes a one-sided relationship with the guy refusing to end it because he still believes a miracle will happen when the girl will suddenly realize what a nice guy he is and be his girlfriend or something while the girl enjoys his "platonic" company.

That was how I felt when I was "friends" with this girl for 2 years but secretly wanted more. I finally asked her out and we went on a couple of dates because she thought it was worth a try. But things didn't work out because we were so used to the idea that we are friends that we didn't really know how to act around each other when the situation moves up a notch.

In the end, we decided to end it mutually and like most guys, I went into a period of depression. That's when I discovered to the ladder theory and thew myself into it to help me cope with the grief. Kinda like how some people turn to religion to cope with their loss. From there, I learned the bitter truth that men and women cannot be just "friends" and it helped me get over my depression.

That girl and I are no longer friends, and I honestly think it is for the best. I have also slowly stopped contacting some of my other girl friends because I realized that I felt the same way about them, that I am just friends with them because I hope something more will come out of it. You can call me shallow or whatever, but I'm just being true to myself and not wasting anyone's time. I want a relationship, while all they can offer is friendship.

It's like a business partnership. Would you continue doing business with another company when you are not getting what you want?

Guys, ask yourself this: If your friend were to strip naked in front of you promising a night of hot passionate sex with no strings attached, would you accept?

Girls, ask yourself this: If you were to strip naked in front of your friend promising a night of hot passionate sex with no strings attached, would he accept?

The answer may help you re-evaluate your "friendship".

For additional reading, check out these links:
1) http://www.laddertheory.com/
2) http://www.fanfic.net/~jeffwong/rant47-friend-zone.html
3) http://www.fanfic.net/~jeffwong/rant48-esc...riend-zone.html
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