Is it a sin to be the only child in family ( Anak Tunggal ) ?

The problem start when I was 7 years old ( standard 1 ) till now 21 years old ( working )

Primary school - Tend to get bully by some student because of my status. Things only get better when I'm in Standard 5 & 6 due of my physical (tall and a bit muscle) and also I be friend with some "bad student".

Secondary school - I want but can't lie about my status because lots of my neighbour are in same school. No bully this time but student look down on me just because of that. Always call me pampered child ( anak manja ). As usual things get better after 2-3 years when they really know me ( not pampered ).

I go to other school ( my father transfer ) when at Form 3. Things ok there because I lie to all my friend about my status. No one there ever think I'm the only child because they judge my by my attitude without knowing my status.

College - I lie about my status at the first place but they know it later ( cannot avoid ). And as usual they start to change the way they look at me. They accuse my parents did all my stuff for me. From iron my shirt to wash my underwear ( which is not true ). I can get " all things in the world " etc.

Things going well when I having Industrial Training for 6 month at this company. I taught things different between study time and work time, they really didn't care who you are. What matters is what you are.

Work - I get caught at the first place when the interviewer ask my about my family status. I tell her I am a only son and she directly say "Anak Manja la you ni" ( She only know me for less than 5 minutes ). I really hope she won't tell anyone in the office, but she did it. I hope working environment different from school / college but it's not any better. One of my college is "mulut celupar". She is the oldest in family so she kind of "hated" any youngest child in family ( never mention only child ). Guess what ? same old same old

Things only gone wrong when people around me know I'm the only child in family. My life is consider stable right now but my friend will sometimes bring up the issue ( likes it's even an issue )


Is it a sin to be the only child in family ?

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Jan 20 2010, 09:36 PM

What bullshit .

I am in a family of 2 . and I dun see how it affects me

My maid handles all my clothes . my dad gives me and my bro wtv we want.

Wow. ur frens / classmates / colleagues lack an education . >_> .

I work in an International Company, and I dun see how being an only child or the eldest child affects anyone .

=.=

i'm oso the only child of my mama+papa, but sorry to say i've never encounter such problems...

i live through normal life, ntg special...

maybe ur classmates/frens/colleagues are jealous that u are the only child, so they try to destroy u by saying stupid things...

I don't see any differences.
Having an older brother, you get an older brother for advice + help too. IMO you should be the one at a disadvantage and its definately not a sin.
Well maybe you hang out with the wrong people.

The fact that you are an only child would not matter to someone untill they get to know u and your attitude makes them go "patutlah ... this fella only child, that's why the attitude like that".

My guess is that there is something in your behavior/look that makes ppl think like that or maybe u just had the bad luck of meeting a bunch of idiots on your journey to adulthood.

ur unlucky dude..

just forget it... someday u will get back ur luck

What does this have to do with PhD School?

Seriously, the problem lies with you. Fix yourself and you'll have less problems. To be crying your woes here is already a testament of your lack of thought.

/thread

No need to be so harsh. You wouldn't know unless you experience it. People judge you before even know you. You need to work hard and show them who you really are. That's the problem

If anything, I'd look down on those having siblings AND being the youngest as a pampered kid.
Heck I'd feel sorry for those single kids as they're all alone at home

I'd understand if your problem happened only once, but throughout your life? My, that's more than coincidence and I feel that there's more than just the fact that you're a single child.

Harsh? Are you working? Do you even understand how cruel reality is? I don't see the reason behind why you have to lie, it only makes you look more of a fool. Joyy reiterated it, it has nothing to do with the fact that you're a single child. I guess you must be some stuck up person IRL wondering WHY people hate you. Ever considered your attitude towards others?

So what's the problem here? Look in the mirror.

Hate ?

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Nov 5 2009, 12:30 AM

Why would people mock you or poke fun at you for no reason? Or are you being over-sensitive? Perhaps I worded the statement wrongly. Hmph.

Hmm, TS is a very sensitive person. the direction thread is going is just ugly.

here's my opinion.
there's always issues with oldest, youngest, only child,only daughter, only son.
that's how the society we live in works. there will always be discrimination, stereotype against what is considered abnormal in the society.

there's nothing wrong or sinful for being the only child in the family. its just how you live your live, how you face situations, and your abilities, talents that will ultimately be the decider of the social status you will be in.

and i think TS should know better than anyone else that there's no such thing as sin for being the only child. its all psychological. TS just have to get in touch with the subconscious realm of the mind (reading some psychology book will help you understand yourself)

people pick on u because u're a single child?

kid, let me tell u something. there are various other things that people can pick on that's much, much worse than being a single child. trust me, u're just being too sensitive about it. u're working now right? then u got lots of other things to think about other than this petty problem.

Nothing to do with PhD School section.
Moved to kopitiam with serious tag on.

Whoever spams and trolls with nonsense get's 7 days off!

Just ignore them, shall you? Kalau ambil hati from their words, you just menyusahkan diri. Ignore then and kept on moving.

based on what you have told, i believe you ambil hati, which make your life misery no offence, but it's true.

being the only child being pampered?
lolx...
if the family rules is tight...that a camp drill!
being the only child... you learn something to valuable ....
the kinship!

i think ts is too sensitive .... thats y la...

why lie?
abt ur status.
imma only child, those tat u mention never ever happen in my whole life.
i got 4 kindergarden, 2 primary, 3 secondary.
i travel from south to north, then to kl.
none of those u mention ever effect me.

u dont have to lie, ppl accept for wat u are,
i doubt is because of u being only child is the main cause u having issue with ppl.
i think the problem is U, ur personality.
dont put the blame on ur parents only manage 2 born u.


This post has been edited by jinkinz: Nov 5 2009, 04:50 AM

the fact that you're trying to hide your status further amplifies the situation.
take me for example, instead of being an only child, im the last child of 4.
imagine having a brother and 2 sisters as your elders.

people tease me, yea i cannot avoid that. but i try working around it. instead of being a sponge and absorb everything, i at least pull off some punches. like making jokes about someone's nose, or something something.
u see, if you point out something worth making fun of out of the people who makes fun of you, it kinda almost turns the table. and most importantly, they will know that you're not just a sponge.

i try to hide my status, yes i dont doubt that. but when someone knows, i just act like its no big deal.
i never tell, if no one ever asks. if someone knows, and ask me, i just go 'yea, its true. so..?' u know, things like that.

First time heard this... hate coz they know u are only child?

So unique, never know this kind of thing exist, can you write in more detail so you can be the subject of a thorough study for my sociology paper?

hi TS...

i also the only child..i faced same problem with u since primary and secondary school..
i lied bout my status with my friends but kantoi later cuz one of my teacher in secondary school was my uncle..
start from dat day they tease me..i feel suffer waiting to finish form 5..

but now in college ppl start to amazed and respect me..
if i tell them im anak tunggal they will say "wah u so lucky..can get whatever u wish"
no more "ceh anak manja"
i can even get close to chick easily if i said im only child

what is important is u need to be confident to tell the truth..
if u tell them with confident voice and confident face they scare to make fun of u..
dont let they drop u anymore..
if they ask u just say "yes im the only child..so whats wrong?"

if you have no confidence, even if you're the eldest you still got balls the size of a peanut.

I'm the oldest with 2 sisters, but it never occur to me to judge how people behave by being the only child/eldest/youngest at home... hmmm...

People who look at stereotypes are ignorant and they refuse to look at you for who you are but look at what you are. To them, someone who come from a bad family will always turn out bad and those who come from good family will always be good. This we know is never the case.

I suggest you ignore what they think about you and prove them wrong, that will teach them a thing or two.

TS, you've been in the WRONG CROWD for too long! There's plenty of people out there who would judge you fairly instead of judging you by your so-called 'status'.

yeah..in this situation u actually dont realise that u are too sensitive, u find its hard to get along with others and u think thats bcos of being the only child in a fam ...so when u start to socialize, people says something about it and u got carried away..lol im also the only child in my fam.. i'v never faced such a things like this

How is it a sin? Not like this is your doing.

The people around you is one the problems. Letting them get to you is the bigger problem.

Go think about this rationally.

why you lie to your friends about being the single child?
i got quite a few friends oso the single child...but they have no problem at all

could it be your own personality and u relate it to ur single child status?

Well. I'm proud of it.

When they tease i just say.. ohh ohh jeles yah

you have wierd people around you

At last someone with same problem

Damn la all these people, Treat us like it was a sin to be the only child

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Nov 5 2009, 11:40 PM

i think u ppl just having hard time thru teasing.

too sensitive.

This is definitely face problem.
Probably you are too soft and always get the bullying.

Face problem betul la.

Stop blaming everything on ur family status. Look deep inside urself and u'll know something else is triggering it. Attitude/face problem, who knows. Definitely not the only child thing.

Unless ur too friggin sensitive that whenever someone says "ala, anak manja, mommy's boy, etc etc" jokingly, u take it seriously and keep it to heart. THEN, u really are an anak manja.

eh, which kampung u live ar? so cacat wan?

i never once see any anak tunggal frens of mine kena like this also. u must be something wrong la wif ur face.

Me also only child...but i have better experience then u...but i know the feeling when i told ppl i am only child...they always say....U ni manja a...i was like zzzzzzzzz...

bullshit !!

I am the youngest , yet , i wash my own plates , cant get everything i wan in the world . Bullshit la ! This kind of fren better dun fren . Lapsap of masyarakat .

Only child is likely to inherit everything.

i tot only anak yatim would kena bully...lulz...anak tunggal also kena?

btw, u come my jail la...dont care u haz how many siblings ..senior jail mates will bully u like no body's business ...

even pak guard also no eye c ..

TS you are just unlucky..i have many only child friends and they are treated just like any other person

Really good advise for someone that experienced it

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Nov 8 2009, 11:15 PM

This is probably one of the weirdest crap I ever heard of. What is there to talk about anak tunggal? I don't see how funny can this be and what is wrong being anak tunggal?

No until you experienced it yourself

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Nov 8 2009, 11:15 PM

Well, i understand that they call anak tunggal manja and spoilt but otherwise it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Some of my friends call me spoilt(i am kinda spoilt heh) and although it kinda sucks sometime but it's never something i take so seriously because it's so petty. So yeah i do have experience and i think there's more to it than just anak tunggal.

btw /k/ what does 'face problem' mean?

yah... pls go dai..

Utter nonsense here, i'm the only child and yet i do not get all these treatments, there are so many friends and yet i haven't gotten any comments from them, and besides why do you even care what ppl say , just be yourself and care the rats ass about what ppl have to say abt u

Grow some balls and get some real friends with balls.

lol

TS, i really pity those people. Maybe they were brought up in such a situation where they judge the only child of the family to be gold spoon fed all the time.

Don't make it hard on yourself, just take it easy. As long they don't get in your way, you have nothing to lose.

I come from a family of 2, my parents maintain perfect balance on both of us(there is no such thing as extra love or less love from parents).

Even if you are spoon fed(I know you are not), so what? f**k em'


ps: i know it's outdated but I just feel bad not commenting.

This post has been edited by sameer27: Nov 19 2009, 09:55 AM

Pretty much this

I'm the only son.

Kindergarten: I'm the bully in school, like to bully the girl sitting next to me, make her cries. (Which I regret for what I did)

Primary school: I got a bunch of 'brother' to hang out & we likes to talk pervert stuff in the school & was sent to the headmaster. (Which I never regret for what I did, just regret didn't pay attention in class).

Secondary school: I got a bigger bunch of 'brother' to lepak-lepak in school. (Which I never regret making friend with them, just regret didn't pay attention in class.)

Uni: I got a wide variety of friend and I think uni life is fun. (never regret having fun in uni, just regret didn't go after the girl I really want.)

Work: Non of my customer know my status, but they knew my dad is my boss

This post has been edited by gs20: Nov 19 2009, 10:09 AM

You father is a boss, you must be from rich family. No wonder la bros like to hang out with you. You must be the one that buy the cigarette for them

Lucky you

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Nov 19 2009, 08:55 PM

TS,

I guess I experienced something like you. Was picked on for some period in various stage of my life. I was an only child like u too.

When u're in school, almost every single kids had bro n sis, and had stories of fighting with bro n sis over something, or parents bias towards a bro or a sis, but we don't have. U tell stories that ppl could never understand, and ppl tell stories that u could never understand. Because u're different.

Given the maturity of a typical school kid, they wun be able to understand and accept, they'll just judge n think u're weird. Given YOUR maturity at that time, u also cannot understand why they're picking on u, u only know they pick on u and assume something is wrong with u.

There is nothing wrong with u. Probably nobody in ur life ever told u this, (nobody in ur life that u trusted at least), my parents also never gave me this reassurance n I also never asked, so I just wander around like lost soul, and so u judge urself based on wat happened in ur life.

The more u start hiding urself, the more u live in fear co's u're afraid ppl will know ur real person n do nasty things.

Now in the working world, ppl r more mature and accepting, sure u'll get some assholes like those u mentioned, but generally ppl r ok. My boss is an only-child, and we had a blast talking about our only-child experiences.

As u meet more ppl, u start to understand it's no big deal. Shit happens.

So, stop hiding. Next time ppl ask u "eh u got any bro n sis?" just answer "nahh.. only child ler .. four walls is my bro n sis lol". If u dun think it's weird, ppl wun think it's weird.

law of attraction dude.

Added:
oh and once u stop hiding who u r, its time to start enjoying ur status. I have met a lot of only-child ppl that r immensely street-smart, independent and has high sense of autonomy.

This post has been edited by LanEvo7: Nov 19 2009, 08:17 PM

why all people u meet really childish
even at work?
so funny man

ure thinking too much.its in yr mind.

i think only you having the only child problem

i dont behave differently if my friends are the only child

nottu disu shittu agen. Srs talk - U just perasan. Seriously.

This post has been edited by xeda: Nov 19 2009, 08:52 PM

Originnaly I post this thread at PHD section and the staff / mod there sent it here under serious talk

u still dont see the reality of outside world dude...more harsh than what u experience...

My friend not like you unfortunately

er....you think too much or I think it's your personal attitude toward the society which makes other people behave weird to you.

Ha, reminds me of some lame ass teacher during my primary days. To me, such people most probably jealous. Got nothing better to do and talk bout unusual stupid topic. Never meet such people after secondary till now. Funny thing that you can meet such people even at working age. You living in some kinda small backward town or kampung? Or maybe is it maybe your personality makes people think that way?

its a sin to lie... just be like me... a lalazhai and no one will ever say anything about u

This post has been edited by KitZhai: Nov 21 2009, 04:24 AM

that is a bless instead of sin, u don't have share anything and your parents will focus only on u

they are just teasing u, because in their mindset the only child will get pampered the most
people won't judge u because of your status, personality and attitude is the main factor

wow, almost same with me, have to travel north south because of my dad job
stayed in Sabah, Kelantan, Johor, Negeri Sembilan for my first 12 years

Nope.
Kind of lonely though since no siblings to play & fight with.

Parents golden child.
Love and money always be 'endorsed' to you.

Just don't take your parents for granted.

well...being the only child in the family aint a sin...maybe TS is just too sensitive...me being the youngest in the family owez get remarks such as "pampered"...but, infact, it's opposite...hahaha...im glad my parent's didn't pampered me with wealth or what so ever...instead they educate me well to face the reality...being mock by friends or foes is nothing la TS...just live your life...and don't have to lie...im proud being the youngest...coz...that's what i am...lying aint gonna solve your status...accept who you are...and what you are...then, all the noises around you will just fade away...masuk telinga kiri...keluar telinga kanan... be cool dude...ur acting like a spoiled kid by asking a Q..."is it a sin to be the only child in family?"...it's not us who should answer your Q...but, yourself...

LOL
this thread got bumped

This post has been edited by Sifha238: Jan 20 2010, 09:48 PM