you dont finish your food often do u? i mean literally...your food...meals...like u dont eat everything on the plate...like u left bits and pieces everywhere....

easier said (written) than done...

actually quite easy la.

just do all the steps.

if the girl dun rike you.

then go find another girl.

rinse and repeat until you find a girl that rikes you.

or, like erzalimm would say, start "lowering your standards" blah blah blah.

---

Added on August 18, 2009, 2:55 pmcome, share with us on how you failed.


This post has been edited by Deimos Tel`Arin: Aug 18 2009, 02:55 PM

1st post is awesome. conclusion, find a lot of girl friends.. do steps 1-4 with different girl.. who attract to u, then proceed to step 5?

i do steps 1-5 long2 ago.. in my own way.. but i did not manage to save it.. nevertheless, 1-5, is naturally handsome n awesome way to find ur truly girls

When I read this article, I never knew that guys would do and take these steps seriously.
I agree with the above quote though. Better be genuine than perasan after that huhuhu

I hate to say this, there's a guy in my office doing exactly the same steps like you said, you know, only me think that he might be a playboy or something, since I saw that he did the same things with other girls in the office.

So, in my conclusion here, if a guy do the step 1-4 with a couple of girls at the same time it's consider flirting.

In my case here, it's hard to differentiate if a guy is honest with his feelings by doing those signals.

Why do you think his flirting is a bad thing?

I envy a guy who's confident enough to flirt so openly. He's basically putting the ball in the other girls' court - "I find you attractive, and I'm letting you know. Now it's up to you to reciprocate. But I'm certainly not going to sit here waiting till you do - because if you don't, there are other girls."

Which is the way it should be

this thread should be stickied. And since there are so many threads regarding "Fat people can't get love", I would really suggest them to read this thread. This is a more direct way of "getting the person you want to be with".

I have an input for point 5 (ask her out)
What is the importance of the first date? The answer is to have a second date. If you screw up your first interview, you think your potential employer would give you a second chance? And my idea of a great first date is about giving her a great first impression. A simple formula for it would be confident, humorous, a great listener, dress-up for the occasion, and also to show interest in your partner.

Many have thought they are scoring great with the points i've mentioned, but failed on the final point, about showing interest in your partner. We've been taught that to make people to like you, you tell them stories about yourself, your achievements, your sky-high ambitions, you tried to impress them. But to your partner, you're just boasting yourself. She'll be thinking, "this guy only loves himself, he's not even interest in me". So don't make her feel that way, you do so by asking about her, you want to know her, you be a great listener. One simple fact about human, we want to be important, and we want people to know that we're important. We talk about ourselves to be important. So it's an important lesson to know when to shut up.

So what to talk about when you're dating? she's not interested how much you know about rocket science. Ladies LOVES gossips, they LOVE romance. If you think knowing about paris hilton's latest gossip is a waste of time then you should start to read hollywood entertainments even more so. Even if you give comments, only say how you "feel" about something. Coz they only feel, and you would want to speak their language.

After your first date, don't rush to make a second date. If you think she's good, wait for 2 days and then phone her up, telling her that you enjoyed it, and hope to see her again. After several days or weeks, then only make another date. If she says ok for a second date, you know, it's like a second interview. you just know you're gonna hammer it. Good luck.

Well, in all things there must be balance. While you're learning to speak their language, surely they're learning to speak your language as well, if they're as interested in you as you are in them. So yes, listen to her and take an interest in her interests - but also charm her with your interests, your personality, and your world.

And if you really can't stand Paris Hilton, but that's the only thing she likes to talk about, then too bad la, you and her got no future.

One of the conversation happened in the office.

Gurl : "Hi, are you free now?"
Me : "I'm definitely free tonight "


Is this consider flirting?

definitely

If you suspect it is, then of course it is.

I thought only girl think that way.

What do you mean?

Good stuff...totally agree with the 5 steps...add C&F (cocky and funny) into the formula and you guys are ready to fly!

something to read / ponder here...from one of the grooviest 'dating' gurus out there...and yes, this guru never teaches confession coz that's too overrated...just go out there, be confident and meet more women guys!

enjoy reading!

===============================================

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dear Dave,

I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have
been trying C & F routine recently and it has been
working like a charm. Your CD is incredible with
information that builds on your book. An example
of C & F happened recently. Women always make
comments of my age and how I appear much younger
than my age (i'm in my mid-thirties but appear to
be 24-25). Before reading your book and listening
to your CD, I would simply laugh or say thank you
if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my
age. Recently I was out with my friends and this
good-looking woman said the same comment. My
response was "come on, I'm not going to fall for a
line that. You women just want me for my youthful
looks". Then I continued busting on her and left
with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my
exchange with her and my success.

I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in
the conversation with you, states she does not
like a certain type of guy; for example she says
she likes tall guys but one happens to be short.
Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a
perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into
Cocky and funny responses?

Thanks a million,

Disciple in Training in D.C.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I really enjoy the way you've
turned the issue of looking younger around and
framed it as a woman's pathetic attempt to pick
you up and use you.

This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all
the right things... it creates sexual tension,
humor and a challenge all at the same time.

Very nice.

But the part of your email that I really like
is the QUESTION you've asked.

You've asked:

"What if a woman, in the conversation with you,
states she does not like a certain type of guy;
for example she says she likes tall guys but one
happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of
examples of turning a perceived deficit (height,
lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny
responses?"

Here's something that you must remember:

IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS
IMPORTANT, THEN YOU'LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO
SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT FEEL ATTRACTION TOWARDS
YOU.

Remember, ATTRACTION isn't a "logical" process.
It really doesn't make very much sense (until you
understand how it works, that is).

Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn't
"like" a certain "type" of guy doesn't mean that
she can't feel a POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of
this "type."

Are you with me here?

ATTRACTION is an emotional and physical
RESPONSE.

A "type" is a PREFERENCE.

They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Here's a good example: Women are universally
more interested in taller men. If you ask a woman
what "type" of "height" ISN'T her type, she'll say
something like "short guys" or "guys who are
shorter than me" etc.

I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who
said "I like shorter guys." Never.

But guess what?

I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the
5'2" to 5'6" range who are UNBELIEVABLE with
women. They ALL date beautiful women who are
taller than them.

So what's going on here?

ATTRACTION is what's going on.

So, when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny
line to turn a "perceived deficit" around, the
FIRST thing I have to say is, "Stop thinking of it
as a deficit."

First, you need to stop caring what a woman
thinks of you ALTOGETHER.

Completely.

Totally.

100%.

If you care what she thinks of you, then you're
probably going to start acting like a total WUSS,
and you're going to screw things up INSTANTLY.

Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who look to
them for approval.

Women feel ATTRACTION for men who are strong,
independent, and not affected by the opinions of
others.

As a note, you can learn an entire SYSTEM
for overcoming these "mental limitations"... and
you can also learn how to build a rock-solid
self-image that will be INCREDIBLY attractive
to women.

So, based on this new perspective, here are a
few ways that you could handle a situation like
this one...

1) NOT CARE AT ALL

One of the things you could do is to not
address the comment at all... as if it didn't even
exist.

A mistake many people make is thinking that
they MUST take every communication that another
person takes seriously and then RESPOND to it.

Not so.

You don't have to do ANYTHING if you don't want
to.

So, if a woman says, "I like tall guys", you
can just act as if it had never been said and
continue with your conversation, getting her
email/number, or whatever.

By the way, this concept can be EXTREMELY
useful in other situations as well. For instance,
if a woman starts getting upset about something
and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do
is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don't
respond at all. Then, when it settles down a
little, just continue your conversation as if
nothing had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out
with dramatic, overly-emotional women too, you
dork!).

2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER

In this case, you're talking about height. One
way to deal with this is to bring it up before she
does.

As soon as you start talking say, "Well, you're
taller than me... I'm over it, are you yet?"

This says a few things. It says that you know
what's going on... it says you're confident... and
it shows that you're not afraid to deal with it.

It also addresses the issue in such a way that
you'll know where she stands on it.

If she just CAN'T get past it, she'll tell you.

3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM

Here's a place to use Cocky & Funny - You
might say, "Wow, you're kind of a freak. I think
something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It
must suck trying to find nice pants, huh? You have
to wear all those weird pants made for freaks and
stuff."

Or, if she's talking about a trait that she's
attracted to, point out the negative sides of that
trait in a Cocky & Funny way.

Maybe she says, "I like men who know how to
treat a lady special, take her nice places, and
who pay for everything to show that they're a
gentleman."

You might say, "Oh, so what you're telling me
is that you like men who basically pay for your
attention with money and gifts... how romantic."

...The one thing that you'll find at the bottom
of all the ideas that I've just presented is FIRST
OF ALL, NOT CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.

I know that it's a paradox... you obviously
want her to like you, but you have to not care
what she thinks of you.

Well, get over it.

Women aren't attracted to men who are APPROVAL-
SEEKERS.

And if a woman throws out a comment like, "I
like tall guys", you must first learn to NOT CARE,
and not let it impact you emotionally.

Then you'll be free to redirect the
conversation and decide if she's the kind of woman
that YOU would like to go out with.

By the way, when you are interacting with a
woman, one of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will
determine whether or not she will feel ATTRACTION
for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW YOU COMMUNICATE
THEM.

==========================================

done all of these 5 step and i still donno whether she likes me or not

ofcoz she does....even if she doesnt....just tell yourself that she does....

nah, dont listen to me. im pro.

edited away~ ho~

This post has been edited by Grimm: Aug 26 2009, 12:40 PM

Then you're not doing them right. The point of the 5 ways is that when you do them, you will know.

---

Added on August 26, 2009, 10:59 amI'm familiar with David DeAngelo's approaches.

I'm sure it works, but I'm not too keen on the philosophy behind it. Read that article again, and note how many times he says insulting things about women. Teasing a woman good-naturedly is fine - but making it a point to attack a woman and tear down her self-esteem just to build up your own? That's being a misogynist arse, and that's the vibe I get from DeAngelo.



This post has been edited by n00b13: Aug 26 2009, 10:59 AM

i think she wants you to help her out with some office task now.