Let's call it The Fergie's Football

We are never surprised when Alex Ferguson launches into some kind of rant or whinge whereby somebody else, preferably a conspiracy of the powers that be, is to blame for Manchester United`s failings.

It's a well-known fact that United never actually lose games, but are the victims of a cunning,worldwide conspiracy.The referee, the pitch, the fixture, the kits and the list go on.That's Fergie's story - and he's still sticking to it.

Here`s the thing, Fergus is, unquestionably, the greatest manager that the game has seen in 20 years. He`s certainly the defining Premier League manager. But he`s also become a bit too big for his boots, and has a tendency to throw a tantrum when he feels that he isn`t given preferential treatment.Last season, Ferguson talked about the need for referees to afford Cristiano Ronaldo more protection, which was no surprise, given that Steve Bennett was scheduled to take charge of a match that could have huge repercussions as far as the title race and fight for fourth place are concerned. Two of the three red cards Ronaldo has received during his five seasons with United have been issued by Bennett, whom Ferguson suggested would have taken “great delight” in sending off the Portugal winger for head-butting Richard Hughes, the Portsmouth midfield player, in the 1-1 draw at Fratton Park in August. Ferguson also accused Bennett of failing to protect Ronaldo after the player was sent off for a reckless lunge during the 3-1 defeat away to Manchester City in January 2006.And there he goes, Steve Bennentt the worst referee ever and probably feel happy each and every time giving Ronaldo a marching order, thats Fergie's claim.

Few months later,entering the new season, in the Champions League match between Manchester United and Villarreal, after Roberto Rosetti sent off Joan Capdevilla for fouling Cristiano Ronaldo.And the response from Fergie at the time? Let me quote it. "The referee was very fair and strict with both teams. He [Capdevila] may not have got that red card in England - so there is different interpretation of the physical aspect of the game in European matches."And now, we can come out with only one conclusion - that referee that sent off Ronaldo is a bad referee and referee that sent off those players that foul on Ronaldo is a good referee.

But it's normal that Fergus' army are always the victim of cunning and bias refereeing.7 years ago, Manchester United were knocked out of the FA Cup after a goalkeeping error - but Fergus the bogeymen blamed everyone except his goalkeeper.The Man Utd boss lamented the lack of a penalty award as well as the bumpy pitch caused by regular rugby matches for his team's defeat.He also insisted the referee had not played enough injury time - unlike the 1999 European Cup Final, of course. In fact, the only thing Sir Alex neglected to mention about that fateful January afternoon was Fabien Barthez's ridiculous taxi-hailing impression, which let in Paolo di Canio for the winning goal.

Time is always of the essence for Ferguson. If United are losing, the referee should add it on, if they're winning, he should blow his whistle.You can guarantee as a game enters the 89th minute with United hanging on to a one-goal advantage, Fergie will start pointing furiously at his timepiece.You could almost set your watch by it.The officials themselves also come in for a torrid time if United lose or have a player sent off.

It is not the first time the Man Utd boss has offered a bizarre reason for defeat.

Remember Fergus stating a grey United kit meant his team couldn't recognise each other and so lost against Southampton?

It was never their faults but are the victims of poor refereeing,poor pitch condition and poor kits and now- The Premier League designed fixtures to make it as tough as possible for United to land a third successive title.

"They say the league is not handicapped, but I`m not so sure," Ferguson said.

"I have been saying for a few months we have been handicapped by the Premier League fixture list," said Ferguson.

Whilst Fergus the Bogeyman is getting far too worked up about this, one has to ask: these tough away assignments all come in the first half of the season. Conversely, Manchester United will presumably be playing the likes of Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool at Old Trafford at the pointy end of the season. Hitherto it has been the norm that Fergus`s Manchester United starts the season with wobbles, and reaches cruising speed in the second half of the season. That`s the second half of the season when we shall assume that Manchester United are through to the knockout stages of the Champions League. Best to play Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea at home then, no? Every cloud has a silver lining, isn`t it better to have your more awkward fixtures at the same time that they interfere less with the Champions League?

But Fergus is still not happy and the Scot has threatened to send a representative to their headquarters this summer to make sure the same scenario will not unfold next summer.

"They tell me it is not planned but I have my doubts.

"I am not saying what they do down there but next year we will be sending someone to see how it works I can assure you because I just don't understand how you can get the fixtures like that."

In this particular case, yes the fixture list is awkward. However, is there a good moment to travel to the Emirates or Anfield? The implication is that the fixture list should be adjusted to ensure that some of the more difficult fixtures are made easier. For your convenience, that is. Er, no, the fixture list is random, don`t whinge about it, you win some you lose some, but you can`t whinge against a computer generated list.

But what makes this particularly grating for us Chelsea supporters was how Fergus` current rant contrasts with his stance in April this year. Many supporters may remember that, at that time, Chelsea were neck and neck with Manchester United going into the closing straight of the season. But Chelsea`s fixtures were adjusted. Instead of playing Wigan on the normal Saturday fixture, the match was postponed to Monday night. And the weekend after`s fixture against Everton was brought forward to a Thursday night instead of playing it some time over the weekend.

At the time Chelsea complained bitterly, and several other managers said that this change was barmy. The reason for Chelsea`s complaint: these fixture changes were carried out for the benefit exclusively of television companies, Chelsea were unhappy on the effect that this would have on the supporters, not to mention the fact that it was less than ideal that we would have to play two Premier League evening night fixtures in 72 hours.

And the response from Fergus at the time? Let me quote it. "They have two games in three days [72 hours], then five days to prepare for a possible Champions League final, that's all right".

We can only conclude that Fergus asks for fixture changes for his own convenience, but is very unsympathetic to anyone else`s requests. Ferguson, hypocrite.

Since everything has to be fixed for his own convenience, why don't we just call it Fergie's Premier League instead of Barclaycard Premier League?