Hi everyone!

I'm doing an article for a local newspaper about this issue. I'd love to know of stories from Malaysian teens who have been pregnant and decided to keep the baby. It would be great too if you're not a teen but went through it as well when you were younger.

I won't use the stories here unless I get permission from you individually. Just let this be a discussion so that young parents will know how to cope and what to expect..

Everyone's having sex at a young age, but not everyone's so fortunate to stay safe.

Thread approved

i dont think carrying baby+studying is a good mix.

better watch out and take out before spilling. i would not say whether it is good or bad having sex at such young age. but please be considerate when dealing with ur greedy lust.

must learn how to pop out, rather than burst inside. its a win-win situation thou!

my school got this case b4.got 1 gal pregnant in form5..n gif birth b4 spm..she still go for spm after tht

hi jolene! i read ur blog!

i think alot of us knows of a certain someone who has gone through these stuff but only a handful are bold enough to take up the responsibilities. I've heard of ways to induce abortion without going to a clinic (which i dun think is healthy to share here)

People should learn that if u cant wait, be prepared to face the consequences and responsibility. It is inevitable that in a relationship intimacy happens. Learn not to give in. (or be smart la)

This post has been edited by tomatotomatomy: May 14 2008, 11:00 PM

many problem will pop out after u gave birth
1)who willing to take care of the baby?
2)do you have time to balance your time of study and taking care of baby
3)financial problem

all of this might be solved if your parent willing to share the burden
but think of it, the baby might lost a father's love

i've got a friend that got married when he was like 17 coz his gf got pregnant .. don't really know the whole picture since i wasn't too close to him but one thing for sure he continued his studies but not his wife .. i would say it's good to be responsible but then again if you are pregnant too early in your life, it might disrupt the normal cycle .. the cycle where you study and then go out to the world to earn money ..

well just my 2 cents la .. not too sure if it's relevant to the topic ..

I got few stories here and i think u can use it because I haven seen them for long time and of coz i wont use their real name.

1-
Form 3, 15 years old, her first time dating with guys and never expect that after 2 weeks from this, she has a bed-relationship with that guy. And without protection, she get pregnant and resign from studying. I don't know bout her parent opinion but she gave birth to the baby after all, but she stop studying and take care of her baby, learn to become a housewife also while her bf continue his study. Now i think they are still together.

2-
Stop studying at form 4 and get pregnant after few years. The man willing to take up his responsibilities and married her, now she is living with her family, husband and baby. She and her husband working while her mother help her to take care of the baby.

3-
Pregnant during college time, big argue with family and quit study after that. Don't know who tkae care of baby, now she is working and after a few years the man leave her due to financial problem. Now shes working for her baby.

I have this classmate, Im not so close with him, so I don't know about the details as he always skip class for his family sake. He is married and he already has one baby girl, his wife is still studying at UPM. His age? 23 this year, the baby already 3 years old. Cool huh.... I still don't know how he manage on his financial problems, who taking care of his child.... but one thing i'm very sure is, this is a real story.

yupe i have a fren like that too..it became big issue and came out in newspaper few years back..she stop study and nv take SPM kind of wasted coz she is a smart freak!!..same age with me..the mother dont wanna accept her as daughter ady...but she married to a Rich guy..now got 1 son but dunno how old ady...

i so wish i am someone's wife now...

Had a kid. Never married. Kid with daddy now. Long story dun ask me how it happened.

pregnant when im 17, 2nd year in college. stop and married. Son now almost 2 years old and soon im going to KL for working. happy? maybe.. grateful? yes to have my son regret? never! its my destiny...

At least your son is in Malaysia. Mine is 12 hours away

I only know of 1 story.

My cousin got pregnant just after SPM. Married to the guy, had a baby girl. That was 5 years ago. All the while they have financial problems and last I heard, they need to sell their house, car etc.

You always spam and make so many stories I do not know if its real or deal.

Seems to be real to me. Curious to know suiteng's story.

I hope I didn upset her by posting the previous post.
If I did Id like to apologize but yeah Im just curious.

Haha~ real or not only a few forumers know the story Most important thing is, I'm happy go lucky now

Yup Im happy to know that you are happy now.

Correction, not everyone's smart and educated enough to stay safe.

Im 40 and Im still a virgin.

It means that you're smart and educated enough to 'avoid' sex. No offense, just joking.

Maybe thnx for the compliment hope u didn step on other people's tail.

london?

well hv 2 case happened on my school mates. 1 of my fren is taking spm while she's pregnant n she gv birth after she finish spm. n not really much ppl knowing it cuz she's slim n v r too stubborn n not notice tat she's pregnant. another fren of mine is pregnant during college. she's always hiding her stomach even though everyone notice she's pregnant. bravo for her as she finished her diploma even she's pregnant. but wat i knew is most of the ppl pregnant n married in young age tends to divorce. its true cuz i hv 2 cousin sis divorce n married to another guy n gv birth again. no offends to others but just real story from my side here.

old virgin spotted

i've seen a few cases on this though but will not say much bout them ..
it's better not to have any "illegal" thingy happens before both r at the position of already married, hv stable job and most importantly ready to be parents of someone ..
not to say that it's wrong to hv that but it's more towards avoiding part of it ..

it's jz my opinion anyway

None of your business hulk you can never get laid

I wonder how do they actually hide their stomach huh?

i'm wondering too. haha mayb they r too slim enough to cover the stomach lor hahaha.......

I've got a friend who went thru it. But my friend was the guy. He got engaged with the girl. She was in her stpm year. But she gave birth after her stpm. After that, she stopped studying a year in order to take care of the baby, but then she continued studying a year later on. And she's doing quite well.

i know 2 girls in this forum who went thru that..... but i'm not sure if i should name them.

I ask my mom what she would do if i got a girl pregnant...
she said "nothing wan mah.... now generations quite normal"...
i was like wtf..... do u even care?

i got a cousin who came from a broken family. becoz her mum was divorce longtime ago when she was only 10. when her mum remarried again,she n her young bro ended up in the orhanage.

then one day,my family inform me tat she was gettin married due to she was pregnant. at tat time she was jus 18. but his husband is a good husband. he took good care of her. although he works in a repairing car shop but he is putting alot of effort for the family. he bought a house,a car & giv her living expenses money. she even hav total of 4 children in jus 4 years time. we also feel happy for her.

but last month,we heard a really shocking news.
she had an arguement with one of her frens. then she drove off with her eldest son which is 4 year old. from wat i know,she always drive car very fast n 'hiong'.
then suddenly in the overhead bridge. the car skid n the car flew crashing to the ground. the son manage to be unhurt becoz my cousin quickly wrap her arms to protect her son but her arms n legs were broken. she was sent to the hospital.
she gave her mum a call which happen to be the 'final call'. she told her she had an accident n her arms n legs are broken. her mum rush to the hospital n tried to find her daughter. spent almost 1 hour plus trying to find her but in the end found her in a black bag tossed in one corner motherf*cker hospital. her mum cant even see her for the last time.
the most pity is the son,he saw her mum in blood with the broken arms n legs. what a terrifying sight. ever since tat incident,,he until now still unable to speak.
tis news was not reveal in newspaper becoz she don hav a car license all tis time & the car roadtax has been expired for months.

i also pity the husband,he got 4 children need to takecare of.

tis is a true story of my cousin which passed away last month at the age of 22.

R.I.P my cousin...

i had a classmate that got pregnant at only the age of 17. i think she got pregnant early last year. everyone was like so kepoh2 that she's going to change school. to be more detail, she's going to the overseas with her boyfriend and continue her studies there. her bf was a rich man. i think he's still in college. nobody suspect that she is pregnant at that time. coz she is a very2 thin girl. then, 4-5 months after that my fren told me that she is actually pregnant and have to stop to go to school. one of my fren's mom got an invitation to her wedding. at that time we still dont believe that she's pregnant. then, my fren saw her with the tummy at a shopping complex. tried to talk to her but she avoid my fren. she gave birth just before spm. we were kinda hoping for her to come and sit for spm tho, but she didnt.

anyway, i heard from a very trusted source that her family dont really care that she got pregnant. even her elder sis got pregnant in school too. her parents approved her relationship with that guy becoz that guy is very2 rich. hhmm... she is lucky that the guy wants to be responsible and marry her. and able to support her financially. however, we shouldnt support pre maritial sex tho. some of them are lucky. n some of them dont...

well v should support safe sex then.

yep.. thats right..

rest in peace...may god bless to all of them

Hi TS, I had an experienced too. When I was in University, the first year 2nd sem, one of my coursemate is pregnant but she is legally pregnant, i mean she already married but still study and same age with me. Although she is pregnant, she still come study like normal and wear those pregnant dress. She nv feel shame.

When last year means after 2 years, she pregnant again for 2nd baby. And when last year exam, her husband bring her 1st baby to wait for the final exam paper. We saw her husband and she introduce to us. We also play around with her baby. after 3 months, we had our convo, and she already gave birth the 2nd 1. her husband bring 2 babies this time. and we take photo together with her, her husband and her babies. SHe nv feel shame at all and proud of herself coz she managed to finish a FIRS CLASS degree with 2 healthy babies. I really salute her.

its already proven in a survey.

Anyway, base from my obsevation, girls who get pregnant during studies cant finnish or even start a education program.
they are only able to progress to spm, but never even stepping into diploma, degree or master.

usually at that age(18yr old), emotions are chemically high.
So you will imagine all kind of things and not look at the dark side.

eventaully, the wife would quit the studies and take care of the children.

but, what if the husband divorce, what will the wife work as without any proper education?

wow at least i think ur classmate married b4 she pregnant. so i dun think there's anything wrong about her. as long as u married b4 u carried a baby & its not u studying n got pregnant & force to get married. totally diff case as both parties may not thinking to hv a baby while the other scenario is they r ready to carry a baby.

IMO, a pro cowboy, will take his gun and shoot, not shoot in his pocket, coz it's hurt.

its not hard to get thro studies during pregnancy. i know a top student who got pregnant. well, they already planned to get married in the future, but didnt actually make a thorough plan for it.

now that shes pregnant, she and her bf quickly got engaged and held wedding dinner. but obviously people will be thinking why an undergraduate student got married in such a hurry. her bf is still young too, only 24. to add on, if your tummy got big a few months after pregnancy, i bet it will cross everybody's mind that she was pregnant before marriage.

but nowadays,
this type already very normal to youngsters...
so no problem lor..
but to those oldies its not nice lor...

no mer??
true ma...
but i dont mind if i am pregnant b4 married...

dun u dun mind

y?
anything wrong for being open minded??
no rite??

I do not think that is call open mindedness I feel its dumb
The guy DO NOT HAVE TO MARRY the girl they got pregnant if he gets girls pregnant so irresponsibly

its dumb n stupid..or maybe more harsh for you.. cheapo?

yeap; tak bertanggunjawab betul
kalao macam tu; i dont know how big is the family is

wth?? call me cheapo?
everyone has their ow perceptions la k?
u might not agree with me..
but its up to me to think rite?

Any more name calling, everyone will get some free holiday trip, aye~

seriously, you deserve it.

your family would be ashamed of you. i guess you don't really care do you? hopefully your daughter turns out just like you, at that time, let's see how you feel.

man.....girls nowadays. don't mistake open-mindedness with blatant idiocy.

This post has been edited by zeroglyph: Sep 3 2008, 10:18 AM

what is wrong with you?
did i offended ny one of you here?
y r u all shooting me?
this is just my thinking k?
u all want holidays izzit?

obviously after pregnant married lah...
STOP with those NAMES CALLING when i nv call u all...

I did not call names or anything Im just saying that guys that simply get their gf pregnant wont be responsible guys. Well thats just my pov I might be wrong.

but if a guy meant to get her gf pregnant due to other issue like parents dun allow them get together...is it consider irresponsible too?

I think if they are over 21 they can at least get registered as a couple even tough their parents do not agree they can still do nothing about it. Then atleast the child to be born will not be some anonymous child.

look at your post above. no responsible adult would agree with you on that...and you called it open minded? shallow-minded is more like it. try asking your parents what they would think of it.

me, shooting? yes. names calling? i don't see any on my post.

fine..watever with you all thinking la..
that its just MY point of VIEW....

not just youngster some oldies also happen this kind of case..so awful..

always safety 1st, otherwise u need to hold up the "Responsible" duty to yourself...

nope i`m not calling you cheapo.
Its very shallow thinking if you did it reality; you will be worthless within family member; or etc..i dont know
but I dont call you cheapo; pls change your mindset; this is not open minded.

if you want open minded; asian guys in general will reject it badly if they know this girl.

reality bites; to my open minded view: this person do not have value n do not actually consider the long run of the impact of her action.
hope this help you yeelin.

yeah...true

Well not only to yourself but your unborn too, would you want your child to be growing up in a harsh environment cos the parents are always unhappy, insufficient funds and not able to attend school cos there is no birth certificate not to mention the pressure given by the society.

Just think about it.........

I really hate parents that do not care about the consequences and just "accidentally" brought them to this world if Im the child Id hate my parents.

different ppl different perception. u hav the ability then its ok. no ability dun do it. that's all. everyone here is just voicing out their thoughts. some might be offended some don't. responsible or not.. its up to those involved to judge themselves... i dun think we shud look at them with 1 mindset onli.

Yes responsiblility is the word, if they are able to take care of the child by all means do it.

no offence, but your postings are quite lame and shortsighted....... have you taken into consideration that most girls who got pregnant before they got married never wanted it to be that way in the first place?

now a girl comes along and says she doesnt mind if she got pregnant before she gets married and you give her 2 barrels of crap? get a life man. most girls would scream for abortion the moment they found out, and would be screaming their heads off blaming their partners.

who're you to put her down man. i dont know her, but the attitude you have is some bad sh1t man. who're you to say whether a person has value or not? you worth very much yourself? bro.. please step into the 21st century.

---

Added on September 6, 2008, 4:24 am you seem to be badly blinkered man.. who says those girls who get pregnant before marriage end up having kids with broken families, having insufficient funds, no birth cert, not being able to attend school etc?pressure from society? sounds like you like in a 3rd world country. if you did abit of research, alot of couples in malaysia, even kl, end up conceiving before they get married, but live happily ever after.

i've got friends who have kids, but are not even married yet. having a difficult life? dont think so. one of the babies even has 4 maids to look after him. parents still in college, and when we all hang out, they'll bring the kid along. what's the fuss man.

have you not read the rest of the replies in this thread or do you choose to ignore the happier endings? lol.

you sound like you've got alot of hurt and pain inside you...to hate your parents is a very big sin in my opinion. i do hope you checked the circumstances of your own entry into this world before making that statement.


This post has been edited by KKKRD: Sep 6 2008, 04:24 AM

Hi KKND man, why so serious man. maaaannn

omg!!...i am so so touched...
at last got ppl backing up me...
thank you for understanding me...

just dont like ppl putting others down for no reason. noone is perfect lol. btw, just remember getting pregnant before marriage is never advisable. it can make life very difficult.

Yah its true...!

So Boys n Girls .....
if u wanna do ehem till to u get pregnant...
just make sure u have MONEY!!!!!
no money no baby!!
no responsibility dont horny!!

every 1 start shooting me when i posted that...
only u didnt..
so touched...

I think last few comments are already out of the topic. The topic is about pregnant/gave birth before completing your studies. It becomes bashing and harshing comments.

AFAIK, there are students who are married and have children before completing their studies. Some of them are very successful in their studies while others are not really so. There are students (female) who have to extend their studies because of the pregnancy - have to take a leave to give birth etc.
For that, IMO the most important thing is to think thoroughly and second to have a good time management (if possible dont get pregnant before completing study)

nah, some ppl are just too conservative and dont realise it could also happen to them lol. it's not wrong to play with fire. just play safe.

yeah...
i agrees with you..

lol zeroglyph nice rating you got there..

yea stop calling ppl names!

This post has been edited by Osphotic: Apr 18 2009, 02:09 PM

touch than marry with him lo. ngek ngek ngek.. i will never let his happen to my wife or girl friend .. dont like baby even though they are cute..

I personally feel it is the guys resposibility for getting a girl pregnant.if U have sex .. use a condom .... but its not as simple as that .. doing it with a condom feels like having sex with a plastic bag .. it feels uncomfortable ... but its secure .... a guy should learn how to control his ejaculation .... safe way to practice this is to have sex when the girl is having her period or 1 day just after her period stops ... control ur motion ... and just as the guy feels like about to cum .. just remove it ... we've all seen it in porn clips ... but its not easy to do ...
I am all for sex before marriage ... for the girls out there ... just make sure the guy ur with knows what the hell he is doing ...
If u'd take a survey .. of all the accidental pregnancies .... the highest number percentage would be from the the couples who frequently have sex, who do the withdrawal method ... but the only problem was ...they got careless...miscalculating the girls period and had unprotected sex during either too late after period stops or too early before period starts .. like on the 11th day .. or 18th day .... to be safe .. if her cycles are regular ...dont cum inside after 9th day ... or before 20th day .... that's why "accidents" happen ... because u were careless ...

This is true story:

1) a guy get married at 17 while the girl is 15.. that happens 7 years ago.. now they got 2 baby and live happily.. the girl stp study after pregant, then go to work till now..
2) a girl get married at 20, now also live happily with her husband.. so my friend around me who get married at early age also get happy ending..

So not all couple will get bad ending.. think wise..

depends. IMO, some girls are open minded, like yeelin04, it ain't wrong for her to think that way, but its her point of view though. mayb you can have the dislikeful thought of her view, but keep it to yourself, she has that thinkin, so be it. =D. you have your own thought too rite?

some couples are still very successful even after giving birth before completing studies. some aren't. if the girls have fate, they meet wit a loving and caring husband that cares for them their entire life, so the girl is lucky. but some cases no.. well.. ya, welcome to the real word ;\