About 10+ years ago, had sort of 'friend - relationship' (long distance friend-relationship), she wrote and broke up with me because of incompatibility of the friendship.
Then, she ghosted me forever, I tried to search her through social media but to no avail.

Time heal me, I moved on. Once a while I tried to search, again same thing, nothing.
I decided to continue on our separate paths in life.

Life isn’t always easy/ups & downs, but I’m thankful finally have real love in my life, my marriage and my child make everything worthwhile and (those previous relationships suffering I have no love feeling for them anymore).

I search her again, the name and location looks very familiar, and then tried to connect to her.
"Hi" to her. She replied, "Hello, it's been a while...".

I’m hoping she replies, but if that’s the only message I receive, I’m content.
Along with wife's permission, I want to be friend with her again (not that relationship).

(Disclaimer: She is my ex best friend, but anyway, she is from very far distance away from MY)


Update (11 December 2025):
I reached out to her because I genuinely cared and was worried about her after 8-10 years of separation. Even though I only said hello and tried to contact her through two of her friends (no info from other, but she is the one give the her contact herself), she blamed me for crossing a boundary, and she’s right, I shouldn’t have invaded her privacy. Oh well...

It feels like nothing has changed since the last time. She even wrote that I am “too dependent on her,” along with another comment that was quite hurtful. Because of this, I’ve decided to step back and significantly reduce my conversations with this “ex–best friend,” or whatever we are now. No real value will be lost. My own family will always be my first priority.

This post has been edited by JimmyX: Dec 11 2025, 01:57 PM

Thanks for concerning.
That girl is not from Malaysia anyway, that's why LDR.

Okay guys, disclaimer... She is my ex best friend, but anyway, she is from very far distance away from MY

I’ve had a few exes. My first relationship was quite traumatic, and I didn’t bother seeking closure at the time. However, she and I eventually talked things through and found closure later on but never talk again.

This friend I’m talking about now is different. she’s a really good friend. Because she’s very busy and lives far from me in Malaysia, I made the mistake of relying too much on online conversations with her. Eventually confessing my feelings.....and then we went our separate ways. That’s all in the past.

Even though I’m now married with kids, I’ve been dealing with health issues, worries and a lot of negative thoughts lately. She is the first person who understood right away even after 10+ years of separation. She could tell I was concerned about my family, my kids and the future because of my health issues, and she gave me pretty good advices.

Most of the time, my male friends don’t take these sensitive topics seriously. Either they joke about it or brush them off, 'relax bro'. Female friends tend to be more understanding. Men and women can be friends, not everything has to be something more (romantic way, etc).

I know my boundaries, and those past things make me realize that I’ve learned to value the friendship more than ever.

Even now that "ex best friend" literally wrote that, "...seems to dependent with her so much" god damn, I was caring/worrying her so contact her back. Write to me this.


Thanks for advices.
I know that, I will reduce the conversation with that girl.
I never intent to piap that "ex best friend", no way in hell, also far distance from malaysia.


Thanks for advices.

Yes, already got few bullet from my wife.

I keep coming back to this sentence, and it feels like it slowly consumes me. I knew she saw the message, yet there was still no reply. Just like before. And there I was again, waiting, losing sleep, feeling foolish for hoping things would be different.

It hurts to realize that no matter how deeply you care for someone, whether in the past or now, they may not return that same care. Sometimes they even say things that wound you, intentionally or not.



Yes, they are always will be my first priority.

Update (11 December 2025):
I reached out to her because I genuinely cared and was worried about her after 8-10 years of separation. Even though I only said hello and tried to contact her through two of her friends (no info from other, but she is the one give the her contact herself), she blamed me for crossing a boundary, and she’s right, I shouldn’t have invaded her privacy. Oh well...

It feels like nothing has changed since the last time. She even wrote that I am “too dependent on her,” along with another comment that was quite hurtful. Because of this, I’ve decided to step back and significantly reduce my conversations with this “ex–best friend,” or whatever we are now. No real value will be lost. My own family will always be my first priority.

Understand, thank you. I've already treat my wife, children and family members far more better after this incident.
My child's smile is literally the best happiest thing in my life.