I read the other thread about dating younger men.

I am 40 this year and as most of you might know, I am divorced.

I do get attracted mainly to women in 20s and early 30s.

However my peers are calling me weird.

My mom keep asking if I and a 24 year old girl can be compatible or not.

My best friend keep telling me it is an anomaly to have a 20+ girl date a 40 year old guy.

I don't find my whole taste a problem but seems like my peers are making me doubt my choices.

Why can't a 40 year old man date 20+ women?

i dont care about what and how my friends think - as long as we are happy

and mum - are you ok if i bring back a 40 yo lau-ee with 2 teenage kids in tow to this coming reunion dinner ??

Well my mom certainly telling me that what you said above minus the kids are a much viable option than me going for 20 year olds.

getting pregnant above 35 carries some risk (advance maternal age)

so mum - you want me to get a single lady near my age ? - dont hope too much being called a porpor/granny ok

Ask yourself the following:

1. Attracted to that age group because of how they look physically and attitude? Young, fresh, carefree attitude?
2. Most 20s or 30s girl/women typically would not look at life they way you do in your 40s. If there isn't compatibility, it then comes back to no 1 which is physical.
3. Assuming you are doing well in your career or business, are these age group girls giving attention to your advances because you provide stability/money? Or are you truly that charming that they are drawn to older man like yourself?

So, the way I see it, either the girl themselves are acting way too mature for their age, or you're acting too young for your age. The rest charm, personality and money.

So, looking for trophy girls to show off as girlfriend? Hey, we get it. Who isn't drawn to young beauty. But for them to go out with you who is much older, it's either because of money or you're helluva charming with good looks, or all combined. Otherwise, they typically won't accept someone much older. Trust me, they also want to look good amongst their friends. Her girl friends would also ask her the same thing in reverse, "What does she see in you to wanna date someone much older?" Her answer would be charming, he provides for me, he's good looking, he's rich. It's not often they would say, "we share all the same interest and our stars somehow aligns". Possible but highly rare.

This post has been edited by McMatt: Oct 9 2025, 03:40 PM

If you like her, then just go ahead
If you care so much, that means you could be binded with your upbringing family even though physically you're already an adult

Your peers dengki la tu.. Love is love, man. Just make sure both of you are compatible in terms of personality and physical capabilities. Best way to go forward is be transparent and always try to manage expectations within reason.

Well, I believe there's no.4 which is because of Daddy issue....Some girls do have daddy issues and they prefer older men because of the security they lack in their younger self.

Not strange nor wrong.

Real.question is whether you can make these girls attracted to YOU.

nothing wrong

in fact better to find a younger girl

maybe your peers are just jealous

TS i recall u want child which caused earlier divorce

It is perfectly understandable to get someone pre35 yo

Age is just a number. Compatibility is the key
Some girl like stability. but u better make sure u can provide superior value as the girl will questioned by her side of friends and relatives

Which falls back to, do they see you as a daddy figure bcoz you can provide good emotional support? So, truly ask yourself, what are you looking for. Someone young, innocent, someone you can control, someone who don't look down on you, someone who sees you as matured? Do you really think there are many in that age group will have the same interest and train of thoughts like a 40+ year old man? Some, but they are rare and few. Especially girls who are sociable with their own circle of friends of the same age group. The loner type, the shy type, these girls will like it if you give them attention.

Personally, I'd want a strong character if I was 40+ and moving up the corporate ladder or running my own business. I don't need emotional baggage at this point in my life, where my career is going well. This is partly because I'm very strong headed and need someone to match my aura, and not the other way around.

On surface, you'd look good to others. You gain confidence coz you have a much younger GF. And if you really can find someone who carries themselves truly well, someone who is at the top of their game, very focus, good on you. Otherwise, you're either stepping down to their level, or they rise up to your level. There is no in-between.

Now, if you're just one of the average joes out there, working a 9-5 job with not much of an ambition but just take 1 salary at a time, 1 year at a time, then that could be a possibility why looking for someone younger makes sense coz 40+ women who are established or doing well don't think you would be a good fit for them. Hence it's harder, because these group may want commitment fast due to their age.

Anyway, I'm just sharing my thoughts on mindset between 2 different age groups. Of course, if they're all just for fun, by all means. Who cares what others think. As long as you're having good time and not hurting anyone. F your peers (note: the fact that you worry what your peers thinks about you is because you understand why they think the way they do, otherwise you wouldn't give a shit)

This post has been edited by McMatt: Oct 10 2025, 08:58 AM

Exactly my point. Well, don't even say 40+, those 30+ who like earns more than me (cause of their job nature) naturally question why would they wanna choose me. I was like, isn't there compatibility? They went like, if whatever I can provide, they have more, why would they choose me? Compatibility, emotional support and whatever non tangible doesn't feed their tummy according to them. There's always a higher mountain thus these women have been psychologically altered to date up (Hypergamy) and don't bother settling for less. But they don't see the downside, a guy earning RM15k a month may not look at them at 35+ to 40s while they are still in delulu stage hoping a rich and stable man fall into their doorstep.

TS

There is in a big difference between early 20s and early 30s women. The target market you are looking at.

Early 20s women tend to want to have more fun. If they are dating a 40s guy, its to fund their fun lifestyle because their income is very low. In other words, they want a sugardaddy if dating a 40s guy.

Early 30s women tend to be more ready to settle down. They already had their fun life. Their income now is better than 5 to 10 years before, so they are more financially independent. If they date a 40 yo guy, its less likely expecting a sugardaddy but still will.like a provider guy.
Now there are still early 30s girls who looks a sugardaddy but these probably go to a 50s or even older guy.

I think for a 40 yo like TS, the sweet spot is late 20s.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Oct 10 2025, 11:04 PM

I somehow agree on this. Late 20s feels the best for me in terms of their needs and in terms of what I can provide.

The issue is the HOW.

the only way you can date a much younger woman, 20 years gap is:

a) you are super rich
b) your gf comes from broken down family
c) foreign gf from 3rd world nation

can aa

xmm wants financial security that older men normally have

guy want young girl...win win la

Kan? That's why I asked what's the motive? To look good? To be the alpha coz maybe those women in same age seems to be doing better than him? He just needs to know what he wants, and more importantly why he wants someone younger. Then own it and don't bother what his peers thinks about his choices.

Because in most instances, the maturity and mentality just differs. 40s men can act young like 20s/30s, and 20s/30s women can be mature like 40s but that's even more rare unless they are home alone type. I highly doubt it's because their thoughts and personality aligns.

At the end, they want something the man can offer and the girl/woman can offer what the man want. If they come to terms with that, go ahead.

Dont need to be super rich.

Financially stable, yes. Maybe T20 income, but super rich is not necessary.

The guy overall need to be well put together. Mature, confident, successful. The physical.aspect is also important like well groomed, healthy.

Women are attracted to these things regardless of age.

And dating a much younger woman is one thing. Thats the easier part. Keeping is probably the more challenging part.

Coz men age like fine wine and women age like milk.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Oct 16 2025, 03:42 PM