guys and ladies, if a woman, be it gf/wife, frequently hangs out with a group of male friends, does it cause side effects? example, does it affect her affection towards her spouse?

do appreciate answers from real life experience and not standard google answers tq

This based on my experience with my ex.

My ex had quite a number of male friends from uni, workplace. At the end of the relationship, I dumped her after noticing her behaviour changes, she would hide her text messages and ask for space and more personal time.

Final comfirmation come to me when one day I noticed her sexy romantic chats with one of her so called male friends.

sorry to hear that. so she became "ex" after this experience?

I cut off the relationship and moved on after that.

it's quite unavoidable to be honest, my ex wife works for youtube. men dominated industry. and the work culture in youtube is quite infamous and notorious where if u wanna climb the ladder, u need to make some "sacrifices"

she ended up having a relationship with her colleague and threw away a decade long marriage with me citing she is not happy with the marriage coz i'm always overseas working (ya to provide for the family)

i also suspect she had something going on with her boss seeing that she got promoted twice in a year.

there are richer and more quality personality of females available out there, but the odds have been getting slim. I agree the temptations are always out there it just depends on each person lens being built on how they perceive this world.

actually the guy she left me for earns 3 times lesser than me lol. so well i guess love is blind?

That just proves money is important but it's not an absolute value when it comes to certainty with women as well. If a girl is attracted to a guy with less income there's a high possibility that guy reminds her ike her dad, the feel of longing for parental love.

many reasons

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Aug 24 2025, 05:15 PM

Yes definitely red flag

Firstly, she will say “ala nothing la dont be so overly sensitive”

But then she will be comparing you (husband/bf) with other guys in her circle of friends

U will not be good enough for her because she is comparing the good qualities of 10 men against your weaknesses. But she doesnt look at the others’ weaknesses, because those are not visible to her, she doesnt know what the others are hiding.



This post has been edited by amboi_asamboi: Aug 24 2025, 06:24 PM

Story of my friend:

His ex was very popular among the guys. She was pretty, funny, independent, intelligent, smart, outgoing, good with her words and an extrovert. She used to go for a lot of outings, active in school activities, school debate team, and president of a couple of clubs.

All men drool over her because she was like a trophy wife everyone would loved to have.

My friend, on the other hand, was the total opposite. He was an introvert, dont know how to sweet talk girls and can’t even make MLM people sell him their membership. He hate outdoor and he dont like to meet new people.

But the law of attraction says opposites attract right? Thats how my friend and his ex ended up together. It was not easy at first, but they persevered. I think she put in a lot of effort to accommodate his personality. They dont go to expensive dating places and she knows i dont like crowds. They always go to small little tiny cafes which people wont go, and they spent a lot of time at home, cooking and watching NatGeo documentaries.

When her career started to take off, their paths started to diverge more and more.

She is CEO material, high flyer, but he is just a simple copywriter, eking a living out of his laptop on his dining table. He let her use their study room because she has more important meetings to attend in privacy.

Ok back to the story how their path started to go from a single point to two gaping lines.

She has a promotion dangled in front of her, and she kept chasing it, knowing she would land it within 2 years. She worked late, networking, travel, checking all her reports 10times and reworked them again and again, and worked 12 - 15 hours a day, 6 days a week. Sunday she would be going for company events, barely got any time for my friend.

She thought he would be ok with it because he worked from home and he didn’t like social events. She thought he understood and she thought he supported her ambition and her promotion.

Sex was non existent by then. From previous once a week to once every 3 months to 6 months and as sporadic as rain in the desert.

My friend was left high and dry.

Mana boleh mcm tu… syurga kat bawah tapak kaki suami ko tau tak? Suami ada keperluan, siapa nak bagi nafkah batin?

Then my friend found out

She had affairs with other men in her circle of friends, including office.

Not 1, not 2, but 3.

I malas wanna go into detail. My friend asked for divorce and turun talak 3.

perhaps so, well it's really not my problem anymore, so best of luck for them

If a wife cheated, does she lose if her husband demand the rights to take the children?

I found that from the www, socmed. More and more women cheat nowadays its becoming a super worrying trend

Depends.
But not really.

The judge will decide what is the best for the child, and who has the ability to take care of the child: education, environment, living conditions (ie one of the parents is abusive, dont have time for the kids because of work etc)

The parent who wants the custody must demonstrate that he/she can do it. But then again not everything is black n white. Really depends.

I have a friend, 2 kids. Each husband & wife take one, which is terrible for the kids because the siblings get separated. That is very very sad.

Back to ur question again. Adultery or cheating wont automatically decide the custody to be granted to the other party.

Just like the tarc school bully cases
one day dead two students
it's already trend just unreported or unseen only

based on my experience with the law on divorce, cheating is not a crime in malaysia non bumi, i'm not sure about Syariah law though.

cheating can only be cited as the cause of the marriage being broken, there's no penal code or criminality to adultery.

however, as the husband, and you are filing a single petition instead of joined petition, you can sue the guy whom your wife cheated with citing for damages under penal code 489.

just for the record, i did not go for this route. because if i go for single petition, there will be a judge hearing and interrogation with my son and his well being before the judge deciding under whose custody my son will be under. i didn't want to subject this process to my son as our divorce really took a huge toll on him. i didnt have the heart to see him suffer any further so i just let it slip.

This post has been edited by calvinteh: Aug 25 2025, 03:14 PM

Do you mind i pm u sir?

sure

wah bro...i really wanna know the ex-waifu
i really dun expect those pretty has high desire..

women these days knows... if they are on demand, they will milk as much as they can to their advantage.... gone are those old days where women are traditionally loyal.... no...

A 2025 survey from Durex found 20.5% of Malaysian women and 11.8% of Malaysian men cited infidelity as a reason for divorce

spoiled by the women movement

whatever relationship advice video i sent her, she claim are toxic chicken soup

typical human nature isnt it? no one, men or women would like to be told that they are wrong. regardless of situation.
and of course, the truth often hurts

What are the advice?

Example?

example videos

1
men who approach married women just want to get free easy lunch

2
advice to married women why they should not entertain men who wants to flirt with them

3
consequences of divorce to men and women



nothing to attack, mostly

Quite mild
Maybe she felt attacked and guilty?

There is no issue for one to hang out with opposite gender. You both have the responsibility to always keep that true without creating any problem for each other.

For example, uncontrolled impulses will create fire from sparks -- sometimes one may develop feelings of lust and/or romance towards someone else while being in a committed relationship, but you have a logical, conscious mind. You have the responsibility to tell yourself NO. ANY relationship requires two hands to clap. If you find it difficult to control your impulses and the feeling is growing stronger, then you should stop meeting the friend, even if it means destroying it. If you're true friends, in time when things settle, you can always meet again and rekindle the friendship.

Now, for someone with insecurity issues, you need to communicate to your partner what is acceptable to you or otherwise, and hopefully the partner can comply. Insecurity is your problem, yes, but it requires effort from both side to mitigate that and hopefully in time, you can be "normal" again.

---
My bf had a bad breakup with his gf where she cheated on him despite her being super possessive and controlling of his interaction with any.. female. Few years after, we met. Now, he trusts me to hang out with my male friends (often it's a mixed gender group, but occasionally there might be 1:1 situations), meanwhile I make a point to always tell him who I'm going out with, and answer any questions he may have. If he is not comfortable with it, he would explain why and often, it's more towards his distrust towards the unknown men (i.e. my friend, not his). That said, so far so good la my male friends are generally nice people. I guess somehow I'm super lucky to have relatively normal people in my circle of friends.

We've fought over various things in life so far, but never once because of opposite gender... Yet. For me, I know how much it hurts to be cheated on as I came from a broken family. For him, well, his personal experience. I guess we both know how much it hurts to be cheated on, so we never want to do that unto another.

There are gardens within the home, and there are gardens that belong to the public. If you spend your time tending to the public garden—watering it, weeding it, trimming it, and fertilizing it— but neglect the garden within your own home, which one do you think will thrive in the long run?

Which one will look more beautiful? Isn’t the answer obvious?

But before we complain about another’s neglect, should we not ask ourselves: have we played a part in it? Have we truly cared for the garden that belongs to us?

Or have we carried the mentality that, since we are already in a long-term relationship or marriage— “he or she won’t go away; we are bound by duty”— there is no need to keep tending?

Human nature is such that no one likes being told they are wrong. We are always “right” in our own eyes until the results of life prove us otherwise.

A husband’s rebuke often stirs defiance. The wiser path is not direct correction from him, but gentle reminders from her own circle of women.

In well-ordered households, women guide women toward restraint. But if her circle of friends is already a lost cause, then your situation is likely to end not as harmony but as a cautionary tale for others.

~

It is the cause-and-effect cycle of the past generation. In earlier times, were there not many women who stayed loyal, enduring both hardship and prosperity with their husbands? Yes, plenty.

But what happened? Many husbands cast aside their wives once they became successful.

This generation of women was raised with that awareness, they know the mistakes of the past. So who is to blame? No one. It is simply nature completing the cycle.

Until society recognizes the harm it is inflicting, this cycle will continue to turn, bringing its damage back upon us, until we finally decide to wake up and put a stop to it.

Thanks for all the recent replies

In the end, its down to her choice. I will let her choose.

to anyone who has real knowledge and experience, can i ask

can i sue the guy for wrecking my marriage? i have voice recording of him admitting what he did, and also of course, all the messages he sent to my wife

Yes u can. Gather all the evidence and find a lawyer.

even without evidence of any physical activity?

Steps to Sue for Adultery in a Divorce
1. File for Divorce:
You must first file for a divorce, citing adultery as the grounds for the marriage's breakdown.
2. Name the Co-Respondent:
The person your spouse had an affair with can be named as a co-respondent in the divorce proceedings.
3. Prove Adultery:
You need to provide evidence that your spouse committed adultery, such as photographic or video evidence from a private investigator, or witness testimony.
4. Prove Causation:
You must demonstrate that the act of adultery was the cause of the marriage's breakdown.
5. Claim Damages:
If the court finds sufficient evidence, you can claim damages from the co-respondent for the role they played in the marriage's breakdown.

Evidence to Use
Surveillance Evidence: Photos and videos taken by a private investigator documenting the co-respondent and your spouse cohabiting or engaging in acts of intimacy.
Circumstantial Evidence: Proof of voluntary sexual intercourse.
Witness Testimony: Oral evidence from someone who witnessed the affair.

Witness Testimony: Oral evidence from someone who witnessed the affair.--> just wonder intimate time where got other people to witness?

ikr! malaysia law. lol when comes to sex it's always pictured we doing porn film. got camera man and sound guy and light guy